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PODCAST

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Flying Free is a support resource for women of faith who need hope and healing from hidden emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Because of misogynistic theology taught in controlling and spiritually abusive churches, many Christian women find themselves in destructive marriages where there is an uneven power dynamic. Male partners use their status as a husband to gain power and control over a woman’s mind, emotions, body, social life, finances, and more. When she tries to get

religion & spirituality christianity

All Episodes

28:46

The 10 Most Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse in a...

Flying Free ·

2025/12/02

Welcome to part one of a brand-new series I’m calling “Emotional Abuse 101: Everything You Need to Know,” because, let’s face it, the church didn’t exactly hand out “How to Spot a Narcissist in Your Youth Group” pamphlets in Sunday school.In this episode, I’m diving into the 10 most subtle signs of emotional abuse, the kind of signs that don’t leave bruises on your body but do leave bruises on your soul. These are the red flags that fly under the radar, the ones that make you ask “Am I too

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51:59

Breaking the Cycle of Fear, Obligation, and Guilt:...

Flying Free ·

2025/11/18

HEADS UP! Get a one-week trial of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope for only $1 from Friday, November 28 to Monday, December 1. Go to flyingfreetrial.com to complete an application. All applicants who are accepted will receive their invitation to register for their one-week trial between Friday and Monday. The holidays are especially challenging for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages. This season, get the emotional and spiritual SUPPORT and education you need to

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59:20

The Subtle, Insidious Nature of Spiritual Abuse [352]

Flying Free ·

2025/11/04

What if the very place you went for safety, love, and divine wisdom turned out to be the scene of the crime? Today we’re diving headfirst into the world of spiritual abuse. This week, I’m joined by Katherine Spearing, founder of Tears of Eden, trauma recovery practitioner, and author of a new book, A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts. If you’ve ever been told that “God doesn’t want your happiness, He wants your holiness” while you were slowly disintegrating inside, well, friend, you’re in for a

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27:16

Responding to Abusive Word Salad (the master game...

Flying Free ·

2025/10/28

Has your inbox turned into a dumpster fire of accusatory texts from your abuser?In this episode, I hand you a step-by-step strategy to shut down the inner emotional chaos without getting dragged into the mud pit with him. It's not just about survival. It's about winning (for YOU!)What We Cover in This Episode: What to do when your abuser won’t stop texting lies, and the courts won’t let you block himHow to stop reacting and start playing offense with your own sanity-protecting strategyWhy

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67:14

Understanding Coercive Control and the Harms...

Flying Free ·

2025/10/21

“He doesn’t hit you, so it must not be abuse.” Yeah, no. That tired old line needs to die.This week, I sat down with Dr. Christine Cocchiola, a powerhouse expert on coercive control, the kind of abuse that doesn’t leave bruises but instead, destroys lives. Christine breaks down how abusers don't need fists to dominate; they weaponize EVERYTHING from the court system, to churches, to your very own kids.If you’ve ever been dismissed, disbelieved, or labeled “too angry,” this episode is a

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11:23

Beautiful Prisons and Golden Lies [348]

Flying Free ·

2025/10/07

What if that golden cage you're sitting in was never locked? What if all that “God’s will” rhetoric was just fear cosplaying as holiness? In this episode, I tell you a story, a simple one with birds, bars, and just enough metaphorical mic drops to wake up the part of you that’s been sedated by religious gaslighting. Buckle up, buttercup. It’s time to talk about freedom.This isn’t just another chirpy motivational talk. It’s a truth-telling, cage-rattling invitation to examine the lies we’ve

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38:03

Gaslighting and Guilt: Why Christian Women Stay Stuck...

Flying Free ·

2025/09/23

If you’ve ever second-guessed your sanity, asked Google “Is my husband a narcissist or just an annoying human?” or thought you might be sinning by not cheerfully submitting to your own emotional obliteration, this episode is your wake-up call... with love.Christian counselor, Kris Reece, is back on the show for part two of our convo about the toxic mind games that keep Christian women stuck, particularly when Jesus is used as the emotional ball-and-chain.Together, we unravel gaslighting,

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14:17

Two Hotel Rooms: One Rescue Mission [344]

Flying Free ·

2025/09/09

You know how sometimes life gives you lemons and then instead of sugar for lemonade, the church hands you a moldy marriage book and says, “Submit harder”? That was my reality. In this episode, I take you back to a hotel room where I was nine months pregnant and seriously questioning if I wanted to keep living. Instead, I stumbled my way out of despair and into freedom thanks to a stack of books, a laptop, and eventually, the real God (not the mean knock-off version I had been

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44:46

Out of the Poisoned Pond: Jennie’s Story [343]

Flying Free ·

2025/09/02

What happens when you grow up in hyper-conservative church culture, marry your Bible camp sweetheart at 20, and then spend decades swimming in a poisoned pond of patriarchy, affairs, gaslighting, and spiritual abuse? Jennie’s story is a real look at what it takes to finally climb out of the muck and into fresh water.If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it me? Or is this whole thing just completely bonkers?” then pull up a chair. Jennie’s journey from silent suffering to empowered freedom will

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36:25

How to Find Peace When Your Marriage Feels Toxic [342]

Flying Free ·

2025/08/26

Do you ever feel like you’re drowning in guilt, shame, and Christian “shoulds” while trying to survive a toxic marriage, a brutal divorce, or the aftermath of both? What if I told you that letting go, accepting reality, and loving yourself isn’t just a cliche, but it can actually change everything?In this episode of Flying Free, I dive into the “Let Go, Accept, and Love” tool (a.k.a. LAL, because who doesn’t love an acronym?). Plus, you’ll hear how one brave mama used these steps in the

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73:06

He Looked Perfect on Paper: Maile's Story [340]

Flying Free ·

2025/08/12

Ever fallen for someone who looked flawless on paper, but in real life turned out to be your personal nightmare with a Christian smile slapped on top? In today’s episode, I sit down with Maile, a bright spark in our Flying Free community, who thought she’d landed in God’s will when she married her second husband. Instead, she found herself suffocating under spiritual gaslighting, emotional sabotage, and escalating violence, all hidden behind the shiny veneer of “good Christian

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35:42

Help! I’ve Been Rejected by People I Thought I Could...

Flying Free ·

2025/08/05

Have you ever crawled your way out of an emotionally abusive relationship, finally free, only to be met with cold shoulders, Christian cliques, and confused stares from the very people who should’ve been first in line at your welcome-back party? Or maybe you’ve thought about getting out, but your instincts all tell you that you’ll lose everyone you love in the process?In this episode, I answer two listener-submitted questions that go straight to the heart of what so many Christian women

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40:17

Could You Be FRAMED in Family Court? [338]

Flying Free ·

2025/07/29

So you’re getting out of your emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage (congratulations, by the way, you’re a hero), and you think the hard part is over? Honey, buckle up. This episode pulls back the curtain on what actually goes down in family court and why women like you and me need to step into the CEO role of our divorce process.I talk with Amy Polacko, a woman who’s been through it, wrote a book about it, and now helps other women survive it. We cover everything from strategic

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23:44

Why Do I Feel Sorry for My Mean Husband? [335]

Flying Free ·

2025/07/08

Let’s talk about that weird emotional hangover you get after confronting your husband’s bad behavior. You know, the one where he hurts you, but somehow you end up feeling sorry for him? Yep. That old chestnut. In this episode, I get real about the trap so many of us Christian women fall into, the compassion boomerang that keeps us stuck in abusive marriages.I’ve lived this. I breathed this for 25 years. I know exactly what it feels like to see the abuse for what it is, feel a spark of

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41:59

From Trapped to Free in 30 Days [332]

Flying Free ·

2025/06/17

In this episode, Natalie shares the raw, unfiltered voices of Christian women who took a powerful step toward reclaiming their lives. What begins with deep confusion, spiritual exhaustion, and the belief that “I’m the problem” transforms into clarity, courage, and freedom. This episode is a love letter to every woman who feels stuck in a toxic relationship yet longs for something more.Through the annual Flying Free satisfaction survey, listeners hear dozens of honest, heart-wrenching, and

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15:56

How Christian Women Resist Oppression in Their...

Flying Free ·

2025/05/20

So many of you come to me and say things like, "Natalie, I was such a doormat. I just stood there and let it all happen."Listen up, beautiful butterfly: You didn’t “just stand there.” You were resisting the entire time, and no one told you that’s what it was. Until now.In this episode, I shine a flashlight on the small but powerful acts of resistance Christian women pull off daily in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages. We’re talking journal-hiding, secret-crying,

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39:27

The Best Worst Decision: Erin’s Story [327]

Flying Free ·

2025/05/13

Ever feel like you’re losing your mind but everyone around you says you’re just too sensitive? Welcome to the club you never asked to join. In this episode, I sit down with Erin, a long-time member of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope community, who opens up about her raw and redemptive journey out of emotional and spiritual abuse. From marrying a man who knew his way around a Bible and a manipulation tactic (convenient, right?) to raising six kids in eight years while being told she was a

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12:22

Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Abuser—and...

Flying Free ·

2025/05/06

Hey there, beautiful butterfly! It's Natalie here, and boy do I have an episode for you today that's going to make you feel SEEN in a way that might just take your breath away.Have you ever found yourself at 3 AM, deep in a Google rabbit hole, trying to make sense of your husband's behavior like you're some kind of undercover FBI agent? Well, I'm here to tell you that this obsession isn't a sign you're losing it—it's actually the FIRST step toward your freedom.In this episode, I'm breaking

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13:55

The Truth About Divorce in Christian Marriages: What...

Flying Free ·

2025/04/29

Today we’re tackling a topic that's kept too many women trapped in painful marriages: divorce. If you've ever been told "God hates divorce" or made to feel like leaving your abusive husband is somehow worse than what he's doing to you, this episode is specifically for you.We’ll dig into some fascinating research by Dr. Valerie Hobbs on how conservative Christian sermons frame divorce - and let me tell you, what's being preached often doesn't match reality. Here's what you'll discover in

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34:03

What Does a Safe Church Really Look Like? [324]

Flying Free ·

2025/04/22

Go to flyingfreeworkshop.com to register for our $1 workshop: Is It Abuse? (or am I just being too sensitive?)On today’s episode, I’m talking with Dr. Andrew Bauman—licensed mental health counselor, author, and founder of the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma. We’re digging into his powerful new book, Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities, and whew…this one’s going to name things you’ve felt for years but maybe never had words

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