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PODCAST

The Cult I Left Behind

Amanda & Kyle Briggs

Newly-ish married couple, Amanda and Kyle, discuss Amanda’s upbringing in the IBLP cult of Duggar infamy – a story Kyle learns about along with listeners. Through sometimes humorous, sometimes heartbreaking stories, Amanda and Kyle explore the cult’s ideology, the strange rules that surrounded Amanda’s childhood, and the abuse she endured before leaving the cult. Through it all, they talk about what it takes to break free from a cult and what gets left behind.

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All Episodes

77:08

57 - On a Journey to Trust

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/10/07

Amanda and Kyle are joined by a special guest! Skye's story caught our attention right away—her mother, the owner of an adult toy business, sent her to a fundamentalist Christian elementary school WAIT WHAT?! The part about her mom’s business is a great story and will make you chuckle, but unfortunately, this school is also where Skye first experienced grooming. It was also at this school, at just seven years old, she was told Satan was living in her heart, sparking a deconstruction journey t...

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39:19

56 - In Which Amanda Tries to Convince Kyle to Try...

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/09/30

We reach the end of our Six Purposes of Marriage journey! Amanda and Kyle procrastinate and talk about a lot of other things, including how the violin is the most righteous instrument, before diving into Bill Gothard’s strange teachings about what marriage “illustrates.” Amanda and Kyle recap the purpose of marriage in the IBLP cult, which is basically about abstinence and the menstrual cycle, and Amanda gets the brilliant idea to try Bill’s abstinence program for science and report back on i...

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37:17

55 - Protection of the...Seed?

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/09/23

Mothers aren't protective. Divorce taints godly seed. A woman finally matters because she made a lot of kids who went and did church work. We talk about these topics and many other confusing aspects of Bill Gothard's teachings about pure Christian family lines. Amanda and Kyle also answer listener questions about beliefs in the cult regarding doctors/medical intervention/vaccines as well as a cult-adjacent program called "Bright Lights."Send us text! Please note this platform only supports on...

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50:49

54 - Be Fruitful and Multiply...Like, a Lot

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/09/16

Amanda and Kyle discuss the IBLP cult's stance on how a godly couple goes about family planning...or doesn't, because God will plan your family. We learn things like the role of proper music and abstinence in conception, the many "hidden designs" in the Bible, and how the pull out method of birth control can get you killed. Send us text! Please note this platform only supports one-way communication. Support the show

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36:03

53 - The Six Purposes of Marriage: Completeness

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/09/09

As Kyle puts it, this episode is all about "connecting with your spouse through abstinence." Join us as we talk about Bill Gothard's view on completeness in marriage and how not eating and not having sex play a big role. We also answer some listener questions about how to talk to people you know who are still in a cult, why the word "encouragement" was such a popular adjective for women in the cult, how the cult viewed salvation and if you could lose it, the Cook County States Attorney who wa...

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21:30

One Year Message from Amanda & Kyle

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/09/04

To celebrate the one-year anniversary of The Cult I Left Behind podcast, Amanda and Kyle share their favorite moments, favorite episodes, insights into the creation of episodes, and their deep appreciate for the community that has formed around this podcast. Send us text! Please note this platform only supports one-way communication. Support the show

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54:59

52 - The Six Purposes of Marriage: Pleasure

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/09/02

Let’s talk about sex…again! Amanda and Kyle talk through Bill Gothard’s teaching on pleasure in the marriage relationship. In a shocking turn of events (haha), everything revolves around the menstrual cycle. It turns out abstinence plays a big role in marriage pleasure, as well as in healing all manner of physical ailments. All of this wise relationship and sex advice from Bill, a man who was never married and who was a sexual predator. Definitely words to live by. Send us text! Please n...

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38:18

51 - The Six Purposes of Marriage: Companionship

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/08/26

Send us text! Please note this is one-way communication. Did you know companionship in marriage is really about the menstrual cycle? Did you also know you’re in a covenant relationships with everyone with whom you’ve shared a meal? And that abstinence is important in marriage? Neither did we. But this is what we learn about in the IBLP Advanced Seminar materials. We also learn more about Bill Gothard’s sex rules for married couples. They’re super weird. Amanda shares an interesting message fr...

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29:18

50 - The Seven Phases of a Godly Courtship Part 2

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/08/19

Send us a Text Message.Time to wrap up how to go about courting in the holiest manner possible. Amanda tells Kyle the final steps to a godly pre-marriage relationship. Kyle is confused. We learn why Ruth is way more chaste and holy than other female Bible characters, Amanda's Bible college and seminary training pays off, and Kyle issues a complaint with the way IBLP uses the word "purpose." Support the Show.

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39:48

49 - The Seven Phases of a Godly Courtship

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/08/12

Send us a Text Message.Amanda and Kyle embark on a perilous journey through more cult ideology around dating, sex, marriage, and purity. Bill's vision (for everyone except himself and his brothers) involves some pretty steep expectations of young men that are, dare we say, impossible in 2024. Young women fare much better under Bill's system in that they aren't supposed to do anything but be quiet, grateful, and without expectations. All of this ideology is straight out of the Advanced Seminar...

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89:50

48 - A State Prosecutor's Perspective on Amanda's Case

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/08/05

Send us a Text Message.A special guest joins us to discuss the case against Amanda's brother. Jennifer, an Assistant District Attorney and podcast listener, prosecutes sexual assault cases in her state and has some interesting thoughts on Amanda's experience as a witness, the politics that impacted the case against her brother, and the legal outcome of the case. Amanda, Kyle, and Jennifer have a heartfelt conversation about the impact of the legal process on sexual assault survivors, the inno...

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25:05

47 - Development of an Immoral Woman

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/07/29

Send us a Text Message.Amanda and Kyle discuss the IBLP Advanced Seminar seven-step chart about how a woman becomes immoral. Obviously, this is all “supported” by random verses from the King James Version of the Christian Bible. So, normal cult stuff. Amanda shares her childhood judgement of females who wore clothes that actually fit (so immoral) and her fear of becoming a Strange Woman. Support the Show.

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38:18

46 - Courtship and the Ten Unchangeables

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/07/22

Send us a Text Message.The Ten Unchangeables make a reappearance in the courtship process. The IBLP Advanced Seminar Textbook lays out intense instructions for how to interrogate a potential romantic partner. Kyle is incredulous, Amanda is shocked he's still shocked by cult material, and much laughter ensues. Support the Show.

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28:17

45 - Applying Levels of Friendship to Dating

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/07/15

Send us a Text Message.In the next installment of courtship in the cult, Amanda tells Kyle all about the IBLP Basic and Advanced Training Seminar's instruction regarding the four levels of friendship and how they govern dating or courtship relationships. Support the Show.

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56:43

44 - Amanda's Courtship Story

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/07/08

Send us a Text Message.Amanda shares her own courtship experience and the ill-fated romance that followed. She explains purity culture concepts such as "giving away your heart," being a "chewed up piece of gum," and being a "trampled garden." Amanda and Kyle discuss how Amanda's ex found out about her childhood abuse and how that information impacted their relationship, and Amanda explains to Kyle how the IBLP cult taught that women were more adversely affected by sex outside of marriage than...

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71:00

42 - Courtship in the Cult

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/07/01

Send us a Text Message.A conversation Amanda has put off for a long time plays out amid trauma laughs, real laughs, and incredulity (on Kyle's part). Join us for a conversation about an IBLP cult staple: courtship. Presented as an alternative to "secular dating," courtship is Bill Gothard's highly controlled and supposedly impeccable standard for relationships. Amanda and Kyle talk about the espionage inherent in the courtship process, Old Testament stories taken literally and implemented, th...

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52:34

42 - Don't Get Locked Out

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/06/24

Send us a Text Message.Amanda and Kyle are reunited for another episode! They answer some listener questions, then Kyle asks Amanda about something she mentioned in passing that startled him and required further investigation. Support the Show.

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52:33

41 - Wisdom Booklet #1

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/06/17

Send us a Text Message.What do Celine Dion and Wisdom Booklet #1 have in common? Well, it's all coming back to me now as Amanda and Kyle go down the rabbit hole (or up the mountain?) into the world of ATI where male supremacy makes an immediate appearance. Listen along as Kyle reacquaints Amanda with the concepts of the cult's flagship homeschooling curriculum. And if you were ever curious as to why Christians should learn math, Wisdom Booklet #1 is here to answer that burning question for yo...

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85:45

40 - The Music that Saved Me

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/06/10

Send us a Text Message.In the most vulnerable episode to date, Amanda shares her songwriting diary and describes how the music helped her cope with reporting her brother, losing her biological family, going through a divorce, struggling with her mental health, and, ultimately, finding hope, love, and joy in life. Support the Show.

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76:38

39 - The Halls of Satan

The Cult I Left Behind ·

2024/06/03

Send us a Text Message.Kyle teaches Amanda about the experience of growing up in public school. It all started over a dinner date conversation that resulted in running back to the Airbnb to record Amanda's questions/shock/terror about "evil public school." The IBLP cult taught that public school was immoral, so Amanda had a lot to learn about the concept of public education in general. Additionally, Amanda and Kyle answer a listener question about if they would still be in Christian church if...

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