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PODCAST

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives

Laura Jurgens, Ph.D.

Mismatched libidos destroying your relationship? Dr. Laura Jurgens helps couples solve desire differences with proven methods—even when therapy fails. This intimacy coach and former professor helps couples navigate different sexual needs with research-based solutions that actually work.This isn"t about forcing different sex drives to align. It"s about understanding why you want different amounts of sex, learning to talk about it without fighting, and creating intimacy that works for both partners

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

23:35

7 Myths to Bust to Make It Easier to Ask for What You...

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2025/02/03

Today we're making it easier for you to ask for what you want in your intimate relationships by busting common myths that hold us back. Make your life easier by listening in. Special Event Links: Libido Mismatch Clarity Hour: walk away feeling better about your capacity to reconcile a libido mismatch in your relationship Free 1-hour FAQ and Ask the Expert February 18, 2025 5-6pm Eastern US time (Zoom option): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1232092474759?aff=oddtdtcreator Febr...

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35:46

Sexual Confidence: A Success Story in Overcoming Shame

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2025/01/27

This episode takes you inside a transformative conversation about sexual confidence and body trust. My former client Kama shares her raw experience of moving from sexual shame and orgasm challenges to deep embodied wisdom. This conversation goes beyond typical success stories, diving deep into how sexual healing catalyzes growth in all areas of life—from business decisions to personal relationships. Kama's story powerfully demonstrates how learning to trust your body's signals and treat ...

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27:09

4 Steps to Confidence & Comfort in Intimacy

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2025/01/20

These are the steps to confidence and comfort that work. Tune in to learn the 4 key steps that will take you from anxious and underconfident to a true, deep, felt sense of comfort and capability in sex and intimacy. Frankly, they are not all easy, though some are surprisingly fun. These steps are what my practice is based on and why it's been so effective for my clients. That's why I'm sharing them with you today. Get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS and learn how to get hel...

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23:25

The Biggest Thing You Can Do To Feel More Sexual...

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2025/01/13

This episode will explain the best, biggest thing you can do to improve your relationship with your own sexuality this year AND your intimacy with a partner. This is the one thing most people are NOT doing – and it is FREE. That’s right, people will spend loads of money this year trying to spice things up by buying stuff: lingerie, sex toys, vacations, and even sex rooms. But most people will fail to do this one, totally FREE thing that is the biggest game changer of them all, and ...

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23:32

The Most Powerful Step

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2025/01/06

Today I’m going to tell you a really personal story of how I almost quit on my marriage. I’m also going to share one of the most powerful ideas in the world for changing your life and your relationships. That sounds like a giant claim, and it is, but it is also really simple. If you look at the most joyful people who are living the lives they want – you will see this idea at work all the time. It is their defining approach to life, and it’s what enabled me to rescue my relationship. Regi...

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38:17

Liberation from Religious Shame & Repression: an...

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/12/30

So many people feel disconnected from their authentic sexuality due to a history of religious repression and shaming. In an ideal world, religion would be universally supportive and comforting. Unfortunately, so many people have had the opposite experience, and wound up with decades of harmful ideas about themselves and their sexuality that they struggle to overcome. In this episode, I interview Lisa, a former client, who emerged from many years of religious shame and repression to discover h...

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34:20

Rethinking Conflict: How Conflict Avoidance...

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/12/23

Conflict is inevitable in close relationships. Doing it well is key to feeling confident, connected, seen, and safe. Many people avoid conflict, or let their default strategies overwhelm them in unhelpful ways. This episode will help you learn to stop avoding necessary conflict and instead use it to get closer and solve problems together. Conflict isn’t bad in itself – in fact, it’s really important for intimacy. It is doing conflict badly that is a problem. I was absolutely terrib...

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39:20

Getting the Right Help for Pelvic & Sexual Pain:...

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/12/16

Pelvic and sexual pain is absolutely treatable, even though it can be hard to admit and challenging to find the right help. Join me to hear from pelvic health expert Dr. Susie Gronski. This episode will help you release shame or stigma about pelvic pain, which is very common. Dr. Gronski also explains common struggles with sexual and pelvic pain for both penis and vagina-owners, and helps you navigate the challenges in finding the right professionals to support you.Meet my guest: With over a ...

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18:20

When You're Bummed That You Have to ASK...

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/12/09

It's common for people to feel upset and disappointed about having to ask for what you want. This is especially true if you believe you shouldn’t have to ask, and that your partner should "just know" what to do for you (whether that's in bed, in flirting, foreplay communication, or romantic gestures). After all, we see that played out in movies and TV all the time: the magic intuiting of the partner's needs. But while it's common to think "they should just know," it also tends to make yo...

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21:49

Pleasure & Connection Self-Assessment & Making...

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/12/02

Ready to be one of the brave, joyful souls who wrings the most pleasure out of this life? I'm going to help you get there. It's December and that means it's the perfect time for some guided reflection: where are you at with your experience of pleasure and connection in your life? Where do you want to be? This episode will walk you through a self-assessment and help you figure out how to set yourself up for a beautiful new year with more pleasure and connection than ever before. Learn mor...

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28:03

Strap-Ons For Every Body

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/11/25

Get started the fun way with strap-ons. Everyone can play with strap-ons and there are loads of reasons you may want to try it out. This episode will guide you through choices of equipment, accessories, positions. It will help you make the decisions that will bring you and your partner the most fun while avoiding painful bad experiences. Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimac...

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20:02

3 Reasons You Have a Hard Time Talking About Sex &...

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/11/18

This episode is for all of you that have a hard time talking about sex, even with your partner. I'll cover the 3 top reasons people struggle to have conversations about sexual desires, needs, and interests. I'll also give you a place to get started in solving these challenges for each one. From the episode recommendations, here is a link to the blog post from Somatica Institute on my most highly recommended relationship repair process: https://www.somaticainstitute.com/blog/9-steps...

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20:04

How to Be Sexual Without Accidentally Being Creepy

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/11/11

If you can't figure out why women seem to get turned off by you even though you're a super nice guy -- this episode is for you! We cover how to know if you’re inadvertently creeping out women or turning them off no matter how great a guy you are (and 99% of the people with this issue are cis-gendered hetero men). We'll talk about why that can happen, why it's not your fault (but is something only you can fix), how to stop it, and what’s up if you’re on other end (meaning that you get creeped ...

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40:41

Butt Fun: How to Start & How to Avoid Traumatic Mistakes

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/11/04

Today we’re talking about butt stuff – all things anal pleasure. The rear end is the other half of your pelvis and has loads of nerve endings to enjoy, but it can also be a place of shame, pain and trauma when we aren't careful. I’m going to give you some perspectives on releasing shame and expectations. I'll also cover in detail the Cardinal Rules of Butt Fun so you can stay on the pleasure side of the equation rather than the pain and trauma side. As usual, I’m going to end on an invitation...

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13:30

Experiencing More Pleasure & Satisfaction (Plus How...

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/10/28

What is your relationship to physical pleasure? Today is all about investigating this question so you can experience more of it. We'll talk about how you can boost pleasure, dive in to how desire and arousal get confused with pleasure, and how to focus on what really brings deep satisfaction. Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com. Get a transcri...

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20:28

How To Start Having G-Spot & Cervical Orgasms

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/10/21

Do you want to have G-spot or cervical orgasms, but don't know how to get there? This episode is for you! Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com. Get a transcript of this episode by going to https://sexhelpforsmartpeople.buzzsprout.com/ Click on the episode, then choose the transcript tab.

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17:37

The Missing Part of the ED Conversation

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/10/15

This episode will help you understand the most common underlying causes of erectile challenges and how to solve them. While drugs can mask symptoms, they don’t actually address the underlying causes of ED. I explain the big missing piece of the ED conversation, which is how relationships, socialized pressure, psychology and emotional situations affect erections. If you have a penis, play with people who do, or just want to be more aware of how to support people who do – this one is for you.&n...

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18:58

Special Episode: Finding Calm & Helping Others When...

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/10/06

This is a special episode, recorded at my home in Asheville, North Carolina, USA in the aftermath of massive devastation from Hurricane Helene. It is for all people dealing with difficult times. In it, I walk you through a calming exercise to help de-escalate anxiety, overwhelm, stress and other challenging, activating emotions. I also talk about how you can help other people through co-regulation. Note that there is no explicit content here and it is suitable for anyone. Way to hel...

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21:57

Up Your Foreplay Game

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/09/30

This episode will help you get more creative and relaxed about foreplay. We'll cover why that’s super important for keeping the fire lit in your sex life, and what some of the blocks are to good foreplay. We're also going to dive into what's up with the foreplay deficit in America, the common problem of boring foreplay, and discuss how to overcome the worries and logistical issues that can keep us from getting more exploratory and creative. Learn more about me, inquire about coaching, an...

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37:06

Your Options for Help: Coaching vs. Therapy, Plus...

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with... ·

2024/09/23

This episode covers when to see a therapist and when to seek out coaching, strengths and weaknesses of both (because all modalities have pros and cons), and what to watch out for. I'll also go over different types of therapy and different types of coaching, and which versions are good for what situations and challenges, in my perspective. This is part of a series of sessions that aim to help you understand the various options for help available to you. Learn more about me, inquire a...

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94 results

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