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PODCAST

Recovery Daily Podcast

Rachel (Miller) Abbassi

Recovery Daily Podcast is hosted by Rachel (Miller) Abbassi, a recovering alcoholic and stroke survivor. With 9 years of sobriety, Rachel regressed into severe post-stroke chronic daily migraines, vision impairment due to vestibular disorder, and mild vascular neurocognitive disorder. The first episode starts only days after recognizing that she must start her journey of rehabilitation again and pull herself away from a career she loves. She believes that the greatest healing comes from sharing her

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All Episodes

00:33:26

Quiet Down: I Can’ Hear Myself Think

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/09/12

How do we know the difference between listening to the deeper, instinct (or gut) voice inside us and the inner chatter of anxiety, people-pleasing, and wishful thinking. I minimize my intuition sometimes or just plain old ignore it. I hear that whisper of caution and then I rationalize it away because the louder voice of instant gratification wins out. Over the years, though, I’ve learned that the whisper deserves my attention. I gain this wisdom through experience, but I can only hear it if I slow

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00:24:42

Invisible ≠ Insignificant: Speak Your Hidden Battles

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/09/11

We all navigate stuff that no one else can see, yet it shapes our behavior, emotions, and connection with each other. Dizziness, fatigue, brain fog, and chronic pain make simple tasks in my life very difficult. And depression, anxiety, and fear make simple interactions challenging. As I learn to pace myself, honor my body’s limits, and rest in stroke recovery, the inner battles rage on. Creativity, prayer, and tools like spoon-and-cup theory help me walk through each day. Progress comes slowly, and

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00:25:20

Through the Glass: Freedom in the 11th Step Prayer

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/09/10

The St. Francis Prayer, otherwise known as the 11th step prayer in AA, focuses on what I can give rather than what I can get. For so long my vision of life was distorted, like living inside a glass jar. I thought I was seeing clearly, but it wasn’t until I stopped drinking and working this program that I could see what the world is like on the other side of the glass. When I am intolerant of others, I remember that everyone has had a lifetime of experiences that have led them to where they are

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00:21:26

The Earth Moved Under My Feet: Broken, Afraid, but...

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/09/09

On Friday my stress level peaked, but I’m happy to report I got back up. I had woken up carrying the weight of buying/selling houses, chronic pain, and the devastating news of a loved one’s illness. By the time I sat down to lead in an AA meeting that evening, my emotions detonated. I cried as I spoke about my sobriety, my stroke, my vestibular struggles, and my fear. In that vulnerable moment, words came out of my mouth that I hadn’t spoken with such conviction before, “I can’t do this without AA

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00:24:10

Learning Tolerance: Choosing Serenity Over Resentment

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/09/05

I used to get so irritated, angry even, being around people drinking. As I learn more about my disease, I can be honest in saying it came from pure jealousy. Intolerance toward temperate drinkers is my problem, not theirs. As with all things in recovery, this too is a decision to face the feelings or let them threaten my peace. It is not my business to condemn alcohol or those who can enjoy it, but to accept that I cannot. That acceptance frees me to focus on my joy and protect my serenity.Finding

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00:33:14

Faith Saved My Life: Slow Suicide to Surrender

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/09/04

I never thought of hiding alcohol in the back of a toilet tank, but the disease led me to hide it just about everywhere else. Just as the disease is progressive, so was my willingness to accept it and to change. I tried to make minimal changes to my lifestyle, and slowly, progressively, my life unraveled into chaos. There was no bit of change that was going to work. I had to change everything. I was dying a slow suicide, screaming on the inside. The unmanageable, invisible internal battle finally

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00:20:57

Roller Skating Dreams: Waking Up With Gratitude

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/29

The secret is out! In nearly all of my dreams, I’m roller skating. Whether it’s through a mall, cruise ship, hotel, or Loudoun County High School, I’m always on skates. I’d like to say it’s symbolic of freedom and forward movement in my life, but the truth is that my subconscious is working around my hip pain while I sleep. I know it’s weird but has become so normal I never shared it with anyone. As I skate through my dreams, the bars are always closed, I’m lost, and I can’t for the life of me

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00:21:23

The Daily Reprieve: Unease Beneath the Surface

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/29

Recovery is more than checking boxes and going through the motions. Without honesty and intention, unease can still rest below the surface, even when we don’t want to admit it. I can show up to meetings, pray, meditate, exercise, and eat well, and still feel unsettled underneath. I tell myself that if I “doing all the things,” then I should be okay, but that’s not always the case. I’m lying to myself, ignoring what’s bothering me or refusing to face the fear that’s fueling my unease. If I don’t take

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00:28:40

Sobriety at Social Events: Comfortable in My Own Skin

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/28

It was a difficult adjustment to show up to an event and order a Coca Cola in early sobriety. I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands, like Ricky Bobby in an interview. Without a drink in them I felt exposed and uncomfortable. Even sitting in front of the TV felt frustrating without a glass of wine. Social events, like happy hours or company parties, were intimidating because I thought everyone’s focus was on alcohol. I soon found out that I was the only one focused on alcohol. I pushed through the

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00:24:44

The Gift of Service: Helping Others Helps Me

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/27

After my stroke I felt embarrassed to turn my camera on in support groups because I wasn’t able to look at the screen. I felt silly wearing my dark red protective glasses in public indoor places because I didn’t want people to look at me. But after listening to other survivors I became proud to be a survivor. I’m more embarrassed that I cared that much about what other people thought of me.Eventually I shifted from “what do I need out of this support group?” to “what can I give to my recovery

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00:26:10

Seasons of Recovery: Tending Your Garden Of Hope

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/26

Recovery is a way of life. Its seasonal, like tending a garden. Sometimes the seasons last a month, sometimes a week, and sometimes just a few days. Old habits and destructive patterns are like weeds that need clearing, especially when unexpected storms blow through our lives. Daily rhythm and habits keep my garden in order. Early on, I wondered how long I’d have to go to meetings or when I’d finally be “cured.” There is no cure for my alcoholism or my disability. Just like a garden, both need

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00:28:00

I’m Learning to Pray: God Isn’t a Genie

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/23

This prayer thing is very new for me, and I typically shy away from talking about it. But what the heck; I’ve had something on my mind. Buying and selling a house is a stressful event in one’s life. I’ve questioned my commitment to never asking for anything in my prayers and only expressing gratitude, because well, I want this new house at the lake so bad. But when I begin to pray, I always resort back to my original prayer format: “Thy Will Be Done Not Mine.” Nothing else feels comfortable, and

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00:40:48

No Loopholes: Sobriety Is Unconditional

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/21

My sobriety is unconditional. I was looking for loopholes in early sobriety, and the only honest one I found was the anesthesia before a colonoscopy. No thank you! Circumstances neither make me drink nor keep me sober. I drank because I’m an alcoholic, not because of a marriage, job, or terrible disappointment. Alcohol was a desperate attempt to numb pain, yet it only made the pain swell. Sobriety requires me to stop “what ifing” and commit to not picking up a drink no matter what. My recovery

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00:26:07

Sick and Tired: Desperation Fuels Change in Recovery

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/20

In stroke recovery I’m often sick and tired of being sick and tired. This morning’s sobriety meeting reminded me of its similarity to what it was like before I quit drinking, having that same looming depression. It leads to a breaking point of desperation where something has to change. It’s when I realize I can’t keep pushing myself alone, and I need to surrender to, well, whatever “it” is. The answer is always found in the steps of my sobriety program. Sometimes it’s just simply to do the next

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00:31:53

Keep Coming Back: Hearing My Story

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/19

What kept me coming back in my sobriety program was hearing people express my thoughts that I believed were so unique. I vividly remember thinking, “That’s me. Oh, I do that too. I think that too.” That was the magnetic pull. At first it felt weird to say the words, “I’m Rachel, I’m an alcoholic,” but I needed to say it out loud to believe it. I kept showing up and hearing own story coming out of others’ mouths. That’s what broke the isolation. That’s why I kept coming back. I found my people.The

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00:23:58

The Harm In Absence: From Surviving to Living Fully

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/16

I had no idea when I was drinking that there was a deeper level of living beyond just surviving. For years I thought I was happy, but I was just riding a rollercoaster of emotions that weren’t necessary. I just didn’t know how to respond to life and people. Drinking gave me a false sense of protection, shielding me from being hurt but also cutting me off from giving to my relationships with others. My absence was harmful to others. I stole others’ peace and didn’t nurture my friendships.Sobriety

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00:28:43

Restraint of Tongue and Pen: Building Character...

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/16

Restraint of pen and tongue has evolved into one of my most valuable tools for managing my relationships. I don’t always have to speak, contribute, or correct someone. It’s fascinating that without adding my opinion, life still happens! And sometimes it turns out better than if it went my way. Pausing gives me a chance to shut my mouth while I think, to let humility in before self-righteousness takes over. I heard today that practicing these principles isn’t contingent on anyone else’s behavior

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00:17:27

Abundance of Life: Filling the Empty Spaces in Recovery

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/15

In early sobriety, I spent a lot of time wishing I could be like everyone else and have a glass of wine at dinner without ending up in a downward spiral. I wanted to be able to relax the way other people did. But I’ve learned over these nine years that the relaxation I envied wasn’t healthy for me. My relaxation today is deeper because I can decide to let go at any time without tucking all my problems into my “dark place” only to see them again in the morning bigger and more terrifying. That same

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00:28:40

Beyond the Finish Line: Living On The Path Of Recovery

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/14

There is no finish line living with chronic illness. I’m learning to exist in a body that feels different from one day to the next. People typically say, “Hope you feel better soon,” as if there’s a shortcut back to the person I once was. I suppose it’s hard to know what to say to a stroke survivor. Full recovery is deeply personal and constantly evolving. Some days, the progress is in small victories, like getting up, attending a meeting, or taking a walk. Other days simply require acceptance that

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00:23:51

Momentum in the Monotony: Consistency Builds Stability

Recovery Daily Podcast ·

2025/08/13

Early recovery felt monotonous, both in sobriety and post-stroke. The stillness is such a contrast to the chaos of drinking and the busy life before a stroke. In those early days, the work felt like hard work. Going to meetings, calling my sponsor, reading the literature, doing my prayers, and meditating happened every day. In stroke recovery, doing vestibular therapy exercises, support groups, and taking daily naps was BORRRING. I had never practiced consistency in my life, so doing the same thing

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