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PODCAST

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius

Your hosts Joseph and Theo and sometimes Daniel read stories written by children, delving into the inner workings of a child genius’s mind. Have you ever looked back at your childhood and thought "what was I thinking?" We are here to answer that question. Now with an inconsistent release schedule! Send us your own stories you wrote as a child! Email us at: childgeniuspodcast@gmail.com

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All Episodes

00:54:38

#25 - Island of the Dinosaurs 1/14: Kink-Free Season...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/11/01

Welcome to Season 2! We’re done being kinky and we’re ready to talk about some dinosaurs. Join us as we delve into the beginning of what is sure to be a wild ride. In this episode we discuss the very real economic concerns of a world with dinosaurs, discover an exciting new way to celebrate Tom or Jim day, and unpack young Theo’s fear of connecting flights. Also in this episode: “My blood! How did you know that was the source of my power?”, “He wasn’t happy he was ready to cry”, “Oh cool tree, let’s

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01:06:28

#24 - Paige’s Direy 2/2: Haunted Podcast

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/10/20

Have a long road trip to make? Well, you could play classic car games like chess or Go, take in the sights of America, or pretend to be a dinosaur. But wouldn’t you rather listen to the world’s first haunted podcast?! Paige joins us again as we see visions of the shadow realm, scorch the Earth with our ideas, and play a morbidly aquatic game of baseball. So quit watching your new girlfriend use Facebook, and listen to this episode! Also in this episode: “What we’re doing is fine because it’s not as

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00:47:36

#23 - Paige’s Direy 1/2: TIM and Gertie

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/10/10

This episode is fun fun wow! So grab your computer named Compotter, turn off Metamorphosis by Hilary Duff, and listen to one sad elephant person, his pleasant and intelligent wife, and their honest observer. That’s all for lemon, Warren’s coming bye. Also in this episode: “They almost won! Normally they lose terribly.”, “There’s not really a better word for it, so why not just write it over and over again.”, “I had an emotion.”, “Life is pretty boring. Great! Let’s do it again.”, dressing like the

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01:09:56

#22 - Tristan’s Tales 2/2: Blushisode 22: Cheetos,...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/10/01

What a better way to celebrate Tom or Jim Day than by having our first main character named Tom! Find out what happens to Tom in Computer Monkey and listen on to hear the best-titled story yet: The Macaroni Touch while we hurl compliments at each other in the hopes of making each other blush. We also write a terrible macaroni and cheese recipe, discuss how to get the cops off your back with a set of children’s playing cards, and reveal a neat (but ultimately futile) trick to fit more songs on your

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00:47:05

#21 - Tristan’s Tales 1/2: Beefisode 21: Don’t Bring...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/09/20

We’re joined by Theo’s friend, lifelong friend, childhood friend, and even his friend today: Tristan! Young Tristan was a certified child genius with a strong preference for dinosaur toys over sports, impressive sword drawing confidence, knowledge of at least one city in at least one other country, and a wild imagination. In this beefisode we read his stories Weird Sea Maze and Computer Monkey. Also in this episode: “We’re playing a cool game, have fun with your fork.”, “Screw global warming, we

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01:01:41

#20 - Jabanuba 3/3: Gunny Port of Mystery

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/09/10

You’re too busy to consider smells, so please consider this episode of our podcast instead. We reach the thrilling conclusion of Jabanuba and talk about all the friends we made along the way, including everyone’s favorite geologist-boxer, Rocky. We also discuss some tips on how to impress fifth graders, greet a unicorn, and write a book report. Also in this episode: “You so rarely try to paint a picture for us.”, “You went pee pee all over the house?”, “Shing married Inside the Mind of a Child

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00:56:12

#19 - Jabanuba 2/3: Three Legs, Three Heads, and...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/09/01

In this episode we read an elaborate wordplay joke with very little payoff, but multiple salutations. So hop on your bike and crank the Yanni because there are no rules! As always, make sure to habaguba and don’t tell Seth. Also in this episode: “We got another slimy boy, put him on the fries.”, “You’ve go ping shong.”, Yanni, Quiznos, Dr. Dreadful, McDonalds, and Pokemon

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01:05:02

#18 - Jabanuba 1/3: Dirty Sword

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/08/20

This episode is not for the faint of heart. Joseph’s brother, Daniel, joins us for our strangest and most problematic episode yet. Prepare yourself for experimental erotic fiction, conspiracy theories, garbage fruit, phallic dreams, Nasty Meat™, the apocalypse, and peeing like a printer. Please don’t run cancel.exe. Also in this episode: “Stop saying Chinese pirate!”, “I failed my Erotic Fiction course.”, “You guys do have to go in the coffin with him.”, varsity bocce ball, Breaking the 2nd, 3rd,

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01:09:45

#17 - Joseph’s Journal 4/4: Pizza Hut High School

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/08/10

Dear Listener, In this surprisingly financial episode we discuss an easy way to make $100, an even easier way to steal $10, and how to avoid getting scammed in New Orleans. I hope you don’t think it’s a disaster (just like my room). Also in this episode: “I bet I can guess where you got your cloak. Around thy shoulders!”, “I discovered myself pope-ing out from behind a coconut tree. I was nice and furry, so I pet me.”, Tony Pro Skater Hawk, Terror at the Zoo, The Beggin’ Strip Challenge, and Math by

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00:47:58

#16 - Joseph’s Journal 3/4: Some Old Alien and a...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/08/01

THEO ISN’T GOOD. THEO ISN’T GOOD. Alright, buckle up for a wild episode. We’ve got aliens, giants, thiefs, turkeys, the grim reaper, and of course Satan. We also come up with three new holidays in this meditation that we hope will put you to sleep. Also in this episode: “Every time you write a new sentence, you forget the previous one.”, handling your spaghetti, Satan’s standup routine, Joseph’s murder weapons, and breaking out of jail 15,000 times.

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00:55:55

#15 - Joseph’s Journal 2/4: Celebrities and...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/07/20

Hey, it’s Brad Ppitttt from Moneyballl! I’m here to say if you like bad celebrity impressions and even worse supervillain concepts, then this is the episode for you. If not, then maybe you like fan submissions and fan mail. Or maybe you’ve had the impulse to eat like a dog, dress like Mr. Potato Head, or wanted to know the best way to go bobbing for apples? You’ll find all that and more in this exciting episode! And buy me some chips! Also in this episode: “No one has not felt anger never.”, “He

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00:53:02

#14 - Joseph’s Journals 1/4: Beefisode 14:...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/07/10

In today’s episode we’ve got some fresh beef and we’re starting on Joseph’s journal! So take a break from talking all the time and use your sense of hearing to listen to Dr. Theo and Captain Joseph. Today we discuss a great way to build muscles in your fingers and we figure out once and for all what X is equal to. This is a beefisode for everyone except Jamal Lewis. Also in this episode: “I think it’s an ok point that you made, but you said it so poorly”, “How does it get any more manly than two

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00:57:11

#13 - Quest of the Dragon Bonus Episode: Oops! All...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/07/01

Happy Tom or Jim Day! We’ve finally finished Quest of the Dragon, so naturally we have to keep talking about it. In today’s episode we create an AI ending, the cast for the big budget blockbuster, and we break down the hero’s journey. Then we go to Hogwarts and we die. Also in this episode: “It’s called Harry Potter, not Harry Potter the Very Special Wizard”, “It’s pronounced ‘buke’ not book, so send in your corrections”, Oprah, Tom Cruise, and Tom Hanks

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00:52:01

#12 - Quest of the Dragon 11/11: Green Plant Squirt...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/06/20

Think of a happy memory, partner! We have a lot to celebrate this episode: finishing Quest of the Dragon, getting our first review for 3 Cowboys, releasing the podcast, and becoming published authors again! So, take a break from playing with ants to admire our podcast UI. Now think of a sad memory - this returns you to equilibrium. Also in this episode: “Maybe there was just like a blob with a duck bill?”, “Well I’m done trying to eat you for today, wanna play cards?”, skittish man, Batman, J.R.R

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00:56:46

#11 - Quest of the Dragon 10/11: Field Day

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/06/10

Welcome to Inside the Mind of a Child Genius: the podcast/religion/cult made by computers for computers. If that sounds like you, then come on in to listen to us talk about songs with farts that you can’t smile at, our rock collections, and the secret to fooling a mind reader (it’s self-inflicted head trauma!). In this podcast every day feels like field day, so go get a spoon and an egg. You know what to do. Also in this episode: “Maybe I’m a little pig boy”, “It was a man coming through Old

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00:47:24

#10 - Quest of the Dragon 9/11: Excellent Ad Ahead

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/06/02

In today’s episode we email Oprah, inspire JK Rowling, and work with Jay Z. We also write a really threatening ad, brainstorm merchandise for Quest of the Dragon, and consider putting 3 Cowboys on a billboard. If you listen there may just be a non-erotic hot cup of Joe, Jojo, and Tony in it for you. Thanks for listening, Carl. Also in this episode: “There was nothing much to talk about, because they were not truly friends”, “I guess there are plot holes in this book after all”, Jackie Chan, Chris

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00:59:19

#9 - Quest of the Dragon 8/11: Five Stars, Filthy,...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/05/21

Juilliard Presents: Inside the Mind of a Child Genius, an aggressively off topic podcast with no current events and way too much roasting of Beth Sadler. We try to say something interesting even if we don't believe it. In this episode, we finally get a dragon (you won’t be disappointed), and Eledor is going to be ban here too! We hope you enjoy it and give us a good rating otherwise it’d be a shame if we had to make fun of you on our podcast. Also in this episode: “Everyone I’ve ever known was

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01:18:26

#8 - Quest of the Dragon 7/11: Our Oscar Moment

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/05/10

Theo goes full on Morgan Freeman, we discover we would be terrible sports commentators, and Uncle Andy humps Joseph. Claxton gets married, writes a book, and proves a point. A whole world including weather fits into an unexpectedly small vessel, and we learn what GP is...sort of. Theo invents Christianity and thinks he might be God. Joseph thinks he might be Jesus, or maybe the Antichrist. A lion works as an intern, everyone cries, and God does it for the Gram. Also in this episode: "Silence!"

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01:01:53

#7 - Quest of the Dragon 6/11: Beefisode 7: Manly Boys

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/05/01

Theo and Joseph don’t like beefing, and what they just had was a beef. We blame everything on you, the listener, and we hold you hostage. We take on important issues like criminal justice reform and spelling bee rules. Joseph discovers he could’ve been the “fly on the head guy”, and Devin totally forgets all about Elias. Shannon banishes Joseph, Seth is good at trees, and David is the size of a dog with a plaid shirt on. Also, Theo wears Lion King underwear. Also in this episode: “They probably just

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00:57:43

#6 - Quest of the Dragon 5/11: Catchers Don’t Reveal...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/04/20

The janitor washes the floor around an unconscious Devin. We get our first fan fiction (from 2013) and then purge our listeners. Tyler Jonsin and Ranger Tody join and then quickly leave. Jillian gets her comeuppance. Trains suck. We revolutionize kickball. Theo downloads several computer viruses, loses a million dollars on the stock market, and “doesn’t never catch it”. Paige needs to invest more in this podcast, and Joseph dies and comes back to life for transportation hour.Also in this episode:

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