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PODCAST

Dad Starting Over

Dad Starting Over

Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you"re newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you"re still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you"re in the right place. I"m Ralph, a.k.a DSO, the author of books including "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "Divorce Panic", "Real Talk" "Red Flags" and "REBUILD: The

education self-improvement

All Episodes

16:17

“We Divorced, Remarried… Now She Wants to Date Again?”

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/05/26

In today’s Dear DSO, I respond to a heartbreaking story from a 39-year-old Army Special Ops veteran who's been through the wringer—divorce, remarriage, infidelity, therapy, and now… his wife wants to separate again, “date,” and possibly reevaluate in six months.If you've ever felt like you're living in a constant loop of chaos in your relationship, especially after betrayal, this one will hit home. We unpack anxious attachment, gaslighting, guilt, PTSD, and how military culture compounds

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20:59

“Depressed About Marriage… Is It Even Worth It Anymore?”

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/05/23

In this episode of Dear DSO, I respond to a letter from Jerome—a man who’s feeling disillusioned and depressed about relationships and marriage. After a breakup and years of being told that “marriage is the dream,” he’s beginning to question everything.Does long-term monogamy even work anymore? Are women really wired for it? Is the “wife and kids” dream still alive for men today?I unpack all of this and more—including what I’ve learned from helping thousands of men, my interview with

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55:34

How Nice Guys Sabotage Their Relationships | Dr....

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/05/19

In this live conversation, I sit down with Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, to talk about the psychology of the modern man—especially the ones struggling in dead bedrooms, difficult marriages, and post-divorce confusion.We dig into why so many men unknowingly sabotage their relationships, how covert contracts fuel resentment, and what it takes to stop being the “nice guy” and start living a better life. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a marriage with no affection, no sex, and

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14:42

Comfort Kills Desire? The Erotic Cost of Feeling Safe...

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/05/16

We all crave emotional safety and stability in our long-term relationships…But what if that very safety is what slowly smothers erotic desire?In this livestream, I dive into one of the most frustrating and misunderstood dynamics in long-term monogamy: the trade-off between comfort and sexuality.Why does it feel like the more secure your relationship becomes, the more the passion disappears?Join The HFM Brotherhood!

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14:07

“I’m 70, She’s Closed Up Shop… What Now?”

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/05/09

Ramius has been married for 47 years. In his 70s, he’s gotten healthy, got his testosterone up, and wants to stay sexually and emotionally connected to his wife. The problem? She’s done. No interest, no desire, early bedtime, and emotionally checked out from intimacy. What do you do when one partner still wants connection… and the other is ready to ride off into the grandma sunset?Let’s talk aging, sex, emotional reality, and the hard truth most men won’t hear until it’s too late.👉 If this

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18:28

"My Wife Is Polyamorous Now – And Wants Her Boyfriend...

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/04/18

A husband writes in with a heartbreaking and outrageous story: after 16 years of marriage and raising six boys together, his wife gave him an ultimatum — “Open marriage or no marriage.” She claims to be polyamorous and bisexual… and already has a boyfriend she’s in love with. Now she expects her husband to accept it — even while the boyfriend sleeps with her in their own marital bed.In this episode of Dear DSO, Ralph (Dad Starting Over) breaks down the emotional chaos, what’s really

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50:53

She Used a Vibrator… and He Called It Cheating - A...

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/04/11

Victoria reached out to share her story — a candid, emotional, and often shocking look into a toxic relationship filled with insecurity, gaslighting, and infidelity.From being accused of cheating over a sex toy…To discovering her partner was visiting massage parlors and hiding condoms…To finding the strength to walk away for the sake of her child and herself.This is one woman’s raw account of breaking free, setting boundaries, and learning to trust herself again.If you’ve ever stayed too

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16:13

"Your Book Doesn’t Work" – A Reader Calls Me Out

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/03/28

A reader sent me an email with some harsh feedback—he says my book is BS because by the time a man picks it up, his marriage is already doomed. He’s frustrated, resentful, and exhausted from trying everything, and he doesn’t believe any change in him will ever fix his wife’s lack of desire. Is he right? Or is he missing something deeper?Join The HFM Brotherhood!

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12:57

"No... That Doesn't Count!" - A Woman Writes in About...

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/03/21

Jennifer writes into to share the story of her OCD husband's super cleaning habits, and how she doesn't feel like it "counts" as helping out like "normal" guys do... because her husband's cleaning is an artifact of his disorder. I, like most men, will determine that her opinion on the value of his help is determined by how much he is suffering in the process. No, Jennifer... this was not a good thing.Join The HFM Brotherhood!

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19:15

After 4 Years of Fatherhood, He Discovered the...

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/03/17

This is a clip from one of my recent DSO Live Streams on Facebook and Youtube. What happens when a man gives everything to his marriage—only to discover it was built on lies? A follower emailed me with his devastating story: His wife had a long-term affair...and he discovered that their youngest child was not his. The betrayal, the heartbreak, and the life-altering truth—this is one of the most gut-wrenching stories I’ve ever received. In this video, we break down what happened and what to

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15:31

"She Warned Me... And I Didn't Listen. Now I'm Paying...

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/03/14

A follower shares his story that is, unfortunately, all too common. His woman gave him every indication that she wasn't really good long-term relationship material. In fact, she flat out TOLD him that she has issues with her sex drive when in relationships. Like a lot of codependent men, Liam took that as a challenge to prove his worth as a spouse. Now he is left wondering why his woman left him for a guy young enough to be his son. Join The HFM Brotherhood!

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16:06

Is The "Shallow" Stuff Important in a Long-Term...

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/03/10

This is a follow-up to a post I recently made about relationships floundering due to "silly" things like looks and money. Yes, those things matter! They don't go away just because you said, "I do". To think otherwise is foolish.Join the HFM Brotherhood!

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12:41

"My Wife Told Me I Was Too Small! What Do I Do With...

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/02/28

A follower reaches out with a story that no man wants to hear: His wife told him that he wasn't big enough. To add insult to injury, she compared him to a much bigger ex-lover. Ouch. Why on earth would a wife say that to a husband?! Let's talk about it.Join the HFM Brotherhood!

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24:25

Married to Chaos: 20+ Years With a Borderline Wife (A...

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/02/24

Ant, a follower, reaches out with his story of complete chaos. This is the perfect example of a naive man who marries a probably borderline wife, and the many examples of making the wrong decision at very crucial points in their relationship together. It all started from day one, and went downhill from there. This one... in painful to listen to.Join the HFM Brotherhood!

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16:58

"I Shouldn't Have to Do That... I'm Married!" -- The...

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/02/19

In this video, I am responding to commenters who tell them that they shouldn't HAVE to put in effort to maintain a relationship and attraction. You just stick around with your spouse because that's what you're SUPPOSE to do... not because you two genuinely want each other. Is that a good mindset for a married couple to be in? I don't think so.Join the HFM Brotherhood!

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14:39

“Why Is She Acting This Way?!” : The All-Too-Common...

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/02/13

Our pal "Wordsmith" is back with a new "Dear DSO" submission (https://deardso.com). He's perplexed by his soon-to-be ex-wife's erratic behavior. Why is she doing these things? Why is she suddenly liking and not liking certain things? Why is she hot and then cold? Very common questions!We also go into Wordsmith's difficulties with handling the stress of the split and his loneliness. Hang in there, Wordsmith! We're here for you.Join The HFM Brotherhood!

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14:04

Dear DSO: "My Wife Shut Down After Menopause!"

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/02/07

A "Dear DSO" follower reaches out to share his frustration. He's at a loss. His married sex life has stopped completely for the past two years. The reason? Menopause. The wife says that menopause is a "medical condition" that he needs to respect, and she has unilaterally decided that their married sex life is over. What is he to do?Join The HFM Brotherhood!

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8:11

Chore Play... Does It Work?

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/01/27

This is a clip from one of our private live zoom meetings we host for members of our HFM Brotherhood. We have anywhere from 6-8 live meetings every week, and they are all recorded for our members to listen back to. In this clip, we are talking about the age-old topic of "chore play": Men doing things in order to get sex from the wife. Many of us have been there and done that. It doesn't work... not as far as sparking sexual energy in a relationship is concerned. You still do chores around

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7:12

Don't Lie to Get Women (from a DSO Live Stream)

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/01/24

From a DSO Live Stream, Ralph reacts to a follower saying that he has to lie to women about his kid situation in order to get dates. Guys, we have to stop lying to just get women. It's not doing anybody any good. It shows your level of desperation and scarcity when it comes to relationships, and it flat out doesn't work in the long run.Join the HFM Brotherhood!

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14:50

How One Horrible Decision Can Ruin Your Life - A...

Dad Starting Over ·

2025/01/20

Ralph gets a "Dear DSO" submission for a guy named Joe... and it's a doozy! Listen to Joe's story and how one big, important life decision (taking his mentally ill ex-girlfriend back) derailed his entire life. This one is not for the faint of heart!Join the HFM Brotherhood!

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