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PODCAST

Adventures of Des and Cort

adventuresofdesandcort

Welcome to the Adventures of Des & Cort podcast, where lifelong friendship meets unfiltered conversation. Join Des and Cort, two best friends, as they invite you into their world filled with laughter, tears, and everything in between.In each episode, Des and Cort delve deep into the intricacies of their bond, sharing stories of their adventures, triumphs, and challenges. From navigating the complexities of relationships to tackling career aspirations and personal growth, nothing is

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All Episodes

45:29

Fun Bags

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/01/16

Send us a textFun Bags 🎉🥂: Once upon a time, we were the queens of chaos—pool-hopping at 3 a.m., closing down strip clubs, and Des pulling epic Irish goodbyes at the bar. Now? Two drinks, a gallon of water, and a full dinner later, we wake up feeling like we got hit by a bus. 🥴 This week, we’re spilling the tea on trying to be fun again in 2025. We recount our wild past (RIP to Wine Wednesdays that didn’t end until Thursday and Cort running home like a “Survivor” contestant being ...

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35:42

Do They Know They Have 30 Minutes?

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/01/09

Send us a textThis week, we’re tackling the chaos of air travel—why do some people think airline rules are just polite suggestions? And who gave the loudest person on the flight the mic to narrate their life story? 🎤🙉 We dive into the rocky start of 2025 with the bombings and fires in California. We are over people who think that because they have money it makes them immune to disaster or human feelings. 🌍🔥 To stay sane, we’re thinking about taking a social media detox—but knowing us, i...

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37:21

Night Bitches

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/01/02

Send us a textThe week between Christmas and New Year’s: a vortex of snacks, naps, and asking what day it is. We dive into the black hole week phenomenon, share our delightfully low-key Christmas stories, and discuss the very relatable struggle of realizing pullout couches are the enemy of 40-something backs. 🛋️💀 Des reveals her plans for an Arizona getaway 🌵☀️, we talk about testing the limits of our skin with a harsh chemical peel (new year, new face?), and giggle way too much about t...

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45:31

Hey, You with the Glasses: Life According to Izaak

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/12/26

Send us a textThis week, we’re joined by Cort’s son, Izaak, for a hilariously candid episode full of college tales, childhood memories, and one VERY specific story involving a guy (possibly on drugs) yelling for Izaak to help him "handle business." Spoiler: glasses are apparently a beacon for street justice. 😳👀 Izaak shares what he's learned since moving away, dishes out some unfiltered truths about college life, and even blesses us with his Trump impression (it’s *huge*). 🏫🎤 Along the ...

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46:30

Whore in a Drawer: Festive Chaos Edition

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/12/19

Send us a textThis week, we're diving into Christmas with a naughty twist 🎄😂. Cort shares the origin story of Whore in a Drawer—a raunchy, rebellious Barbie alter-ego created a decade ago to cheer Des up. (It worked.) We also tackle important holiday debates like real vs. fake trees, white lights vs. colored lights, and whether an hour-long saxophone performance of Christmas music on a plane would make you merry or murderous. 🎷✈️ Des delivers the ultimate wiener joke, we reminisce about...

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35:25

Dick Pic Detective

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/12/12

Send us a textBuckle up—this episode’s a chaotic cocktail of cringe, comedy, and a little conspiracy. Cort kicks things off with a “reply all” email fail so explicit it might land her on an HR PowerPoint. Meanwhile, Des channels her inner Sherlock Holmes, taking us on the unforgettable journey of how her curiosity led to an accidental dick pic discovery during a Facebook deep dive. Spoiler: curiosity really did kill the vibe. We also rage over the true villains of society—people who don...

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37:46

It Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/12/05

Send us a textThis week, we ponder what we’d do if martial law was enacted (Des would be a hot mess, and Cort would definitely test the boundaries—naturally). Plus, the latest episode of Cory's Sleep Chronicles features him attempting to turn on a lamp... in his dreams.Life lately? We’re perpetually sleepy but forcing ourselves out to socialize, and every time we do, we remember just how fun we actually are.Des gets hilariously ragey when people dare to return her infamous love taps but will ...

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42:09

Mama Knows Best- Dee Takes the Mic!

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/11/26

Send us a textThis week, we handed over the mic to none other than Dee—Des’s mom, the headbutt queen, and unofficial boss of everything. 💁‍♀️ From hilarious stories of Des growing up, to Dee’s first impression of Cortnie, this episode is equal parts roast and toast. 🔥🍞 We’re talking: - Dee’s unique punishment methods (spoiler: headbutts were involved) 🤕 - What we’re thankful for this year (besides wine, obviously) 🍷 - A sprinkle of Thanksgiving 🦃 - And, of ...

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32:44

I Got My Workin' Hair On

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/11/21

Send us a textThis week, we’re tackling life one ugly concentration face at a time. Des discovered she has an underbite when she’s deep in the zone with her “workin’ hair” on—and trust us, insurance doesn’t make staying in the zone easy. Speaking of hard things (pun intended), we’re breaking down a new Netflix doc and a commercial for fixing a… crooked situation for the fellas.We also dive into the glass ball vs. rubber ball theory because adulting is a juggling act. Are we prioritizing what ...

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38:05

Adventuring at The Drift

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/11/13

Send us a textThis week, we dive deep into the wild, uncharted aisles of Costco, where spatial awareness goes to die. 🛒 We also get real about the ups, downs, and dry spells of adult intimacy (yep, sometimes it’s more “checklist” than “passion”). Plus, we’re heading off to The Drift for a little podcasting adventure getaway—don’t miss the details on our upcoming *giveaway* 👀! We’re also untangling the Christmas lights a tad early and calling out those influencers who keep it *just a little*

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52:14

Ladies and Gentlemen, Sophia!

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/11/06

Send us a textIn this week’s episode, we bring on Desiree's daughter, Sophia, for a deep dive into the life of a young adult with all its unique joys and hilarious horrors! 😆 Sophia spills on everything, from the life lessons Esmerelda the Imaginary Enforcer taught her, to the thrill of adulting tasks like getting her tires changed. 🛠️🚗We get the lowdown on her adventures as a waitress, complete with the oddballs she meets daily, and hear about her legendary hobby of trolling Tinder bros

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30:09

It's a Bop!

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/11/03

Send us a textGet ready for It’s a Bop! 🎶 In this episode, we dive into the real hot topics: election drama and the surprising bops that came from Trump soundbites (who knew?!), why weight seems to bounce back faster than we can recover from the flu, and dudes hitting new lows with their thirst traps. 👀 Des recounts a manic shopping spree that somehow ended in a new car (it’s a mood, okay?), and Cort’s tales from parents weekend at University of Idaho remind us why parents and college

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36:48

Pink Pony Club

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/10/24

Send us a textIn this week’s episode of Pink Pony Club, we’re serving up a wild mix of topics you didn’t know you needed. 🎉 We’re blowin’ hot air (literally) with a new blow drier, to the ear-worm that is Pink Pony Club 🎶 (seriously, it won’t leave our heads), we’re covering it all. We also dive into Abercrombie & Fitch getting indicted (who saw that coming?), and why driving at night feels like an Olympic sport now that we’re older. Oh, and speaking of forgetfulness—wait until you h...

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37:09

SCRAM!

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/10/17

Send us a textIn this episode of Scram!, we chat about everything from our hilarious kids (like that time Sophia convinced her friend Des was hosting a Columbus Day party—um, what? 🤨) to the ridiculous things we put off forever, like Cortnie’s year-long quest to buy a new pillow 🛏️. We also dive into the joys of waking up one day and realizing crepe skin and fine lines have moved in for good 😬. But don’t worry, we’re keeping our tan year-round with some serious self-tanner game ✨. We did our

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38:27

Fishy Guests, Sleep Screamers & The Titty Baby

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/10/10

Send us a textThis week, we're serving up a platter of random annoyances and awkwardness, starting with the people who can't pronounce basic words (looking at you, "expresso"), followed by the soul-sucking energy of airport idiots and those who thrive on talking trash. Oh, and let’s not forget the age-old saying that guests start smelling like fish when they’ve overstayed their welcome—we dive into that *fishy* situation, too. 🐠Cory’s got a new talent: sleep-screaming, and poor Des got the

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49:26

Josh Has Entered The Chat

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/10/03

Send us a textThis week, we bring in the man, the myth, the husband—Josh! 🎤 We put Cortnie’s better half in the hot seat to talk all things tiny dicks (left to find, of course), slow golfers ruining his day ⛳, and what truly grinds his gears—and *loves* about our friendship. We also take a trip down memory lane to some classic Josh mishaps: like that time he bought a giant truck *thinking* it was 4-wheel drive (spoiler: it wasn’t), banging up the camper 🚐, and, oh yeah, driving a post

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38:23

ID GAF

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/09/26

Send us a textThis week, we’re serving up a whole lot of ID-GAF energy (because saying it like adults is overrated, right?). We dive into the *deep* issues, like hunters leaving their mark (literally) in the woods 💩, and our favorite hobby—getting "delulu" when our husbands won’t pick up the phone 📞. Plus, more Diddy conspiracies, Des proving she needs a personal EMT 🩹, and a PSA for TV people in black shirts: LINT ROLL! 🧼 Oh, and let’s not forget our run-ins with ghosts and other random

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35:12

Chuffling Through Ding Dongs & Diddlers

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/09/19

Send us a textGet ready to shuffle—or should we say *Chuffle*—your way through this hilarious episode! 💃 This week, we dive into our new word of the week, “Chuffle” (yep, it’s a thing now), and how we’re embracing the chubby girl shuffle. 🏃‍♀️💨We also tackle the important issues—like *offensive ding dongs* 🍩 (no, not the snack), *the diddler* 😳, and those cringe-worthy Facebook ads that make us wonder what the algorithm thinks of us! 💻🙈Add in a “gulley whomper” of a storm ⛈️, some

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38:44

Fella FUPA

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/09/12

Send us a text🎙️ New Episode Alert: Fella Fupa! 🎙️This week on Adventures of Des and Cort, we're taking aim at arrogance, tackling perimenopause like pros (or at least like women who are thoroughly touched out), and embracing our 40s with zero interest in lip-locking marathons. 😜We’re dishing on winter activities that don’t involve freezing our butts off, debating the ultimate question—chef or cleaner?—and, of course, coining hilarious new names for men’s bodies since ours seem to be fair

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41:32

High Maintenance, WWE Personas and Hawk Tuah Viral Vibes

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2024/09/04

Send us a text🎙️ In this episode of High Maintenance, WWE Personas and Hawk Tuah Viral Vibes, we’re spilling the tea on how we might be a bit more high maintenance than we ever imagined. 💅 Plus, we’re sharing some tragic dog grooming stories that’ll make you cringe (and laugh). The 'ber' months are creeping in 🍂, and we’re already swapping summer clothes for fall—thanks to our new obsession with online shopping and at-home try-ons. 📦Expect surprise drop-ins from our college kids (they

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