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PODCAST

On Attachment

Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

22:17

#173: How to Rebuild Self-Worth After a Break-Up

On Attachment ·

2025/01/28

In today's episode, we're talking about how to rebuild self-worth after a break-up. It's so common, particularly for anxious attachers, to emerge after a break-up feeling incredibly uncertain and lacking in self-worth. We become acutely aware of the extent to which we lost ourselves in the relationship, but often don't know where or how to begin reconnecting with who we are.We'll talk about:why it's so common for self-worth to be damaged after a break-upself-abandonment and self-loss when rel...

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28:38

#172: 10 Signs You're Moving From Anxious to Secure...

On Attachment ·

2025/01/20

In today's episode, we’re exploring the key signs that you’re moving from anxious attachment toward greater security. While every healing journey is unique, certain themes consistently emerge as markers of growth. If you're working on healing your anxious attachment style, this episode will help you recognise the shifts happening within you.What We Cover:How healing is not linear and why everyone's journey looks differentThe mindset shifts that show you're stepping out of fear and insecurityE...

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23:36

How to Transform Your Life

On Attachment ·

2025/01/08

For our first episode of 2025, we're exploring the journey of creating a life that feels deeply authentic and aligned with who you truly are. Moving beyond societal expectations and the hamster wheel of constant striving, this episode challenges you to embrace courage, honesty, and personal responsibility to make meaningful changes in your life.Key topics covered:Why honesty with yourself is essential for transformatioThe power of action—and why inaction is a decision tooHow to reconnect with...

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26:06

Dating Q&A: Early Dating with Anxious Attachment,...

On Attachment ·

2024/12/17

In this Q&A episode, I’m answering your most common questions about early dating—particularly through the lens of anxious attachment. If dating feels like a minefield of overthinking, anxiety, and emotional highs and lows, this episode is for you.We’ll explore:Early dating dynamics: Navigating the vulnerability and uncertainty that comes with getting to know someone new.Not attaching too quickly: Why it happens for those with anxious attachment and how to pace yourself emotionally.Texting...

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25:46

Self-Sabotage: Why We Do It & How to Break Free

On Attachment ·

2024/12/10

In today's episode, we’re diving deep into self-sabotage—those frustrating patterns where we seem to work against our own best interests. Whether it’s procrastination, pushing people away, or avoiding opportunities, self-sabotage can feel like an endless cycle. We cover:What self-sabotage really is: Understanding how it’s often a misguided attempt to keep us safe.Why we get stuck: Exploring the fears, limiting beliefs, and unmet needs that fuel sabotaging behaviour.How to shift these pat...

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22:16

How to Support an Avoidant Partner to Open Up

On Attachment ·

2024/12/03

In this episode of On Attachment, we’re diving into how to support an avoidant partner in opening up emotionally. If you’ve ever felt frustrated by your partner’s emotional distance or found yourself unsure how to help them feel safe in the relationship, this episode is for you. Healing Anxious Attachment waitlist Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Join On Attachment Insiders, my new membership community Upcoming Events Byron Bay Retreat - Apply now! 🏝️ Additional Resources Join

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23:13

How to Balance Compassion for Others with Boundaries...

On Attachment ·

2024/11/26

In today's episode, we're talking about the delicate balance between compassion for others, and boundaries for ourselves. For those of us who tend towards empathy and curiosity towards others' inner worlds, it's easy to fixate on the "why" behind their behaviours (particularly behaviours we don't like or understand). And while that is an admirable trait, without clear boundaries it can easily veer into self-abandonment. I'll share some thoughts on how to find a balance between compassion...

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26:24

Signs an Avoidant Partner is Deactivating & What to...

On Attachment ·

2024/11/19

In today's episode, we’re diving into what avoidant partner deactivation looks like and how you can respond to this experience in a way that protects your emotional wellbeing and prevents further spiralling and disconnection. We’ll explore the subtle ways avoidant partners create distance—whether emotionally, physically, or in their communication—and how these behaviours stem from their attachment patterns rather than a lack of care or love. Importantly, we’ll talk about what you can do ...

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19:59

Why Validation is so Important for Anxiously Attached...

On Attachment ·

2024/11/12

In today's episode, we're talking all about validation — and specifically, why it is so essential for anxiously attached people in building more security within themselves and in their relationships. Most anxiously attached people are accustomed to feeling chronically invalidated (in part because they tend to do this to themselves), always wondering if they are too much, too needy, too sensitive, too paranoid, and so on. This can lead to over-reliance on a partner or others external to u...

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23:19

5 Unexpected Triggers of the Abandonment Wound

On Attachment ·

2024/11/05

In today's episode, we're talking all about the abandonment wound — and specifically, five scenarios that might unexpectedly trigger your fears and insecurities around abandonment. When we think about the fear of abandonment, we often imagine scenarios where someone physically leaves us—maybe a breakup or a loved one walking out the door. But the truth is, this fear can manifest in much more subtle and unexpected ways, especially for those of us with anxious attachment patterns.We'll cover:ho...

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28:08

How to Address a Partner’s Excessive Phone Usage

On Attachment ·

2024/10/29

In this episode, we dive into the growing issue of phone usage and its impact on relationship satisfaction, especially when one partner feels neglected, ignored and frustrated by the other's screen time. We explore why constant phone use can feel so personal, discuss strategies for approaching the topic constructively, and offer practical ways to set digital boundaries together. If you’re struggling with a partner’s phone habits, this episode will give you tools to foster more connection and ...

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13:15

How to Stop Hoping Your Ex Comes Back

On Attachment ·

2024/10/22

In this episode, we're exploring the common and very human experience of hoping an ex will come back after a break-up, saying they've changed their mind and want to reconcile. Whether you were left unexpectedly or the break-up was a long time coming, the hope that an ex will realise their mistake and come back can be powerful and all-consuming. I'll share some mindset reframes and tools to relate to your hoping differently, so you can validate yourself while still moving forward in a directio...

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20:49

How Fearful Avoidant Attachment Shows Up In...

On Attachment ·

2024/10/15

In this episode, we’re diving into how fearful avoidant attachment (also known as disorganised attachment) plays out in relationships. If you identify with this attachment style, you might notice certain patterns in your relationships that feel confusing or contradictory.Key points include:Feelings of instability in relationships: Many with fearful avoidant attachment feel fine when single, but painful emotions surface in relationships, often leading to blaming their partner.Impact of partner...

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29:32

How to Work Through a Trigger

On Attachment ·

2024/10/08

In today’s episode, we’re talking about how to navigate emotional triggers in a healthy and constructive way. Whether it’s a comment, an argument, or even an unexpected event, triggers can send us into emotional overdrive, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from ourselves. But with the right tools, you can slow down the spiral and regain control over your emotions.I’ll guide you through a simple, four-step process to help you work through triggers in real time. We’ll explore how ...

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17:09

5 Signs You're Ready For a Relationship

On Attachment ·

2024/10/01

How do you know if you're ready for a relationship? Perhaps you've asked yourself this question — and in today's episode, that's what we're exploring. While I don't believe we ever reach some objective place of being "healed enough" to enter a relationship, I do believe there are certain indicators we can look out for — signs that we're in a strong place mentally and emotionally, which will set us up for the best possible chance at finding and building a healthy partnership.Upcoming Events ...

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18:31

How to Stop Obsessing About Someone

On Attachment ·

2024/09/24

In this episode, we’re tackling the challenging topic of obsessive thinking about someone and how to break free from that mental loop that causes suffering. We’ll explore different approaches, including Byron Katie’s The Work as a top-down method for challenging your thoughts, somatic tools to discharge anxiety from the body as a bottom-up approach, as well as the broader work of addressing the insecurities and wounds that often fuel obsessive thinking.By addressing your thoughts, calming you...

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16:30

3 Things You'll Notice in Your First Healthy...

On Attachment ·

2024/09/17

In this episode, we’re exploring three key things you’ll likely notice when you experience your first truly healthy relationship. While healthy relationships are often idealised, they still come with their own challenges. We’ll discuss how they invite vulnerability, reveal where we may have been hiding behind dysfunction, and show us that even secure partners can be imperfect. Finally, we’ll talk about how conflict in a healthy relationship doesn’t disappear, but it feels safer and more ...

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22:03

Sex & Attachment: How Anxious & Avoidant Attachment...

On Attachment ·

2024/09/10

In this episode, we’re diving into the how anxious and avoidant attachment styles can influence sexual relationships. Understanding these differences can be crucial for navigating intimacy in your relationship, whether you identify with one of these attachment styles or are in a relationship with someone who does. We’ll cover five key differences in how anxious and avoidant attachment styles experience and approach sex.Emphasis on Emotional vs Physical IntimacyAnxiously attached individu...

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22:14

Fearful Avoidant and Anxious Attachment: Key...

On Attachment ·

2024/09/03

In today's episode, we're diving into fearful avoidant (AKA disorganised) attachment and how it differs from anxious attachment. We’ll explore how both types are driven by a fear of abandonment and intense emotions, yet differ in their approaches to intimacy, conflict resolution, and communication. Whether you identify with one of these attachment styles or are in a relationship with someone who does, this episode will give you valuable insights into the dynamics at play and how to ...

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20:56

4 Reasons You Keep Attracting Situationships

On Attachment ·

2024/08/27

In today's episode, we’re exploring the common patterns and beliefs that lead people into situationships — those ambiguous, frustrating "almost-relationships" that never quite become something more. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a situationship and wondered why it keeps happening, this episode is for you. We'll dive into four key reasons why you might be attracting these kinds of connections and how to start breaking free from the cycle. Specifically, we'll cover:how a fear of r...

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