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PODCAST

Green Cows Don"t Fly

Writers B. and Jon are co-hosts of Green Cows Don"t Fly. Once upon a time they enlisted the help of A I to write two fantasy quest novels which are now available on Amazon here https://amzn.to/3MIZKoh But now in their new ground-breaking extravaganza: The None Show, they meet every week in the Green Room Café to talk about everything and anything and are always looking for suggestions for topics. So if you"d like to get involved in the general mayhem and madness then please do contact the show at:

comedy

All Episodes

17:07

The None Show Ep. 10 - Rubbish, Quite Literally

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/04/28

Well, B & Jon are just about back together again after last week's lost show catastrophe, but it's an uneasy truce. Nevertheless, a stroll down memory lane recalls booking cheap but often nonexistent flights on Teletext, cutting up old bank cards, a useless Dragon's Den pitch and rifling through Sir Elton John's bins.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you have an Oscar winning script and Quentin T

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4:20

The None Show - Ep. 9 Tumbleweed, Sackcloth & Ashes

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/04/21

There's been a technical hitch in the studio this week. Jon's flying solo as B's in a deep sulk after he wiped the best show they ever recorded. Now he's going to have to send a lot of flowers, expensive confectionary and cakes if the show is to continue. Watch this space.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you have an Oscar winning script and Quentin T as the director. Contact her here:

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19:53

The None Show Ep. 8 - Ephemeral Magnolia Blossom

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/04/14

This week sees another esoteric chat with B & Jon as they discuss: curry then move on to dim sum in Chinatown. This naturally leads to daily walks, dog walkers and their charges, not to mention spring magnolia blossoms. A quick left turn sees them talking about printers and the Internet before they head for the tape discussing plotting their respective novels.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you

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17:23

The None Show Ep. 7 - What's in a name?

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/04/07

Just when you think the show couldn't get any more random... it goes and does. When is a city not a city? Did (as per the urban myth) Queen Victoria not like Reading? And as for old Catus Decianus, Procurator of Roman Britain.Did he really have 10 bums? Well, listener... get listening.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you have an Oscar winning script and Quentin T as the director. Contact her here:

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22:31

The None Show - Ep. 6 - Coulda been contenders...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/03/31

It's Friday again and time for your weekly dose of aimless rambling nonsense. So in a diverse show we discuss fig mustard, foody TV travelogues, the time Jon's band (sort of) appeared on the Belgian version of The Archers and when B's chatting in the make up chair saw her end up on the cutting room floor..B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you have an Oscar winning script and Quentin T as the director

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20:51

The None Show Ep. 5 - Live Binmen and Samuel Beckett

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/03/24

This week's show features more live Googling, Scooby Doo and playwright Samuel Beckett before the highlight when B livestreams her binmen not picking up a picture frame from a neighbour's bin. It's cutting edge stuff.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you have an Oscar winning script and Quentin T as the director. Contact her here: gcdontfly@gmail.comMusic Rune-Bertil's Pandora's

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19:13

The None Show Ep. 4 - Gobbledygook & Trout Pout

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/03/17

In another Joycean style stream of consciousness conversation, B & Jon start with business speak and the attendant vacuous drivel that goes with it. Needless to say they take several forks in the road going forward, including Trout Pout Junction and unexpected celebrity encounters. You couldn't make it up... well actually they can and do.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you have an Oscar winning

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14:16

The None Show - Ep. 3 - Choices

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/03/10

Choices, eh? Love 'em or loathe them we all have them. So when B's neighbour's young daughter asks :"Where would you rather find yourself? Prison or a Home for the Elderly?" you can be sure of a fun-filled fifteen minutes. This of course leads on to becoming a prison Kingpin's plaything, inaccurate book research on Google, guitar plectrums, and inevitably, random encounters with Al Murray.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs

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27:42

The None Show Ep. 2 Bread

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/03/03

Jon's acquired a bread maker, so naturally this weeks deep dive is on all things bread. But in true Green Cows style that inevitably leads on to vinegar, cheese, old music hall jokes and random recipes. They also pose the question: when there's no one around does King Charles sit in his vest and Y-fronts watching telly and dipping naan bread in his curry sauce? Find out by listeneing.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs

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25:06

The None Show - Ep. 1 Washing-up

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/02/24

In the first proper None Show B. & Jon discuss washing up. This of course leads to them exploring such topics as pets with butler service, how the early cave dwellers invented cooking, the sad now almost extinction of Christmas Cards, regifting and not to mention many other washing-up related topics.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you have an Oscar winning script and Quentin T as the director

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20:39

The Dawning of Season 3

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/02/17

The Dawning Of Season Three: Episode 0B and Jon's witterings somehow finally lead them to stumble across the long sought after format for the new season of the show. But not before Jon remembers the days of his distant youth, while B listens in rapt detachment.If you make it to the end of the episode then some day in the future you too may be able to tell your grandkids you heard the moment that became a podcasting game changer.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover

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9:21

The Wilderness Show

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/02/10

With Book 2 now on the virtual shelves (get it ordered here: https://amzn.to/3YCeI1R ) B & Jon are in a sort of creative wilderness. But watch this space because needs must as the old saying goes. Brand spanking new show concept coming soon.You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_flyMusic Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG. GCDF Logo Created by: The guys at Multiverse of Badness Podcast

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22:28

Waffling On #3

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/02/03

More waffling on this week with old Hollywood Heartthrobs, old Hollywood Movies and their remakes and Old Masters, all balanced by B and Jon's usual load of old tosh about everything and anything. Oh, and the new Quester's Guide book of season 2 is now out. So... c'mon- whaddayah waiting for? Get it ordered!You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG -

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11:46

Waffling On #2

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/01/20

The bad news? More waffling this week as B & Jon talk about Zombies, Prince Harry's recent book and guitars (but not Cadillacs) There's also more talk about the upcoming new Quester's Guide book. The Good News? It only lasts about 10 minutes.You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT

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10:02

Waffling On #1

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/01/13

As they try and come up with an idea for a new project, B and Jon are waffling on about the imminent release of the new Quester's Guide book.After killing B's pet cactus, Eddie - Brian is in her bad books.So Brian doesn't appear this week courtesy of - https://readloud.net/ You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book

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30:47

Season 2 Christmas Special.

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/12/23

B and Jon have been reading online reviews for Christmas products. It seems there are an awful lot of eejits out there. Meanwhile, Brian gives a masterly reading of the opening to a seasonal classic.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/ You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book Theme:

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23:59

Season 2 Chapter 25. The Burger Bar At The End Of The...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/12/16

The quest comes to an end as some old faces from book one reappear to tie up the loose ends. But does everyone live happily ever after? You'll just have to listen to the end. And as fits the occasion, Brian delivers a suitably doom-laden horoscope.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/ You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG -

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22:32

Season 2 Chapter 24. The One Before Last Puppet Master

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/12/09

You'll be surprised this week. Lots happens in this episode which you won't have expected, but don't worry, you won't end up on anisland, well, it’s a lily pad actually, which is on a plinth, which is on a concrete platform, which is at the shore of a tiny island, which is on the Lake of Seven Agonies, which is on a bigger island, which is in a sea between two continents on Holographia, a bit like an island on a lake on the Azores, actually.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/ You can

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24:16

Season 2 Chapter 23. Red Herring

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/12/02

Things have not been as they seemed and the questers are forced to change their plans as the amulet reveals a secret. Time is running out to save Holographia. Maybe Sir Patrick Stewart can help.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/ You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT -

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27:00

Season 2 Chapter 22. Insert Whatever Chapter Title...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/11/25

Lots happens in this episode, but you'll have to tune in to find out what. Grandolf will do this that and the other and some people won't make it. Anyway, tune in. Thanks.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/ You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT - Logo: Created by the

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