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PODCAST

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.

society & culture mental health

All Episodes

56:47

Esther Calling - Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible?...

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/01/20

For the first time in an Esther Calling, Esther speaks to the partner of the caller from last week to hear his perspective on the story. Then, she does a session with the two of them as they detail how they feel stuck in their sexual pattern, where he always initiates, but when he initiates, she freezes. They try to figure out where they can go from here.For the month of January, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on

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47:08

Esther Calling - Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/01/13

This week, a caller wonders if she’s sexually compatible with her partner or if they’ve just become too adherent to their sexual patterns. Esther helps her untangle the traumatic pieces from her past before her current relationship that are informing the anxiety she feels when her partner initiates sex. This episode contains references to a sexual assault. Please take care listening.For the month of January, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to

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47:47

Esther Calling - Did I Get Ghosted or Is He Just Not...

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/01/06

A young woman notices a pattern in her life of frequently being ghosted. And the last time this happened, it really stung. Not only did she lose a lover but she lost an important friend. Did this friend with benefits ghost her or did she miss something? For the month of January, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity, or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up

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55:12

Esther Calling - I Don't Want to Turn Into My Mother

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/12/16

After becoming a mother for the first time, a young woman reflects on the complicated relationship with her own mother. Esther guides her through establishing boundaries with grace, breaking generational cycles, and the importance of self-acceptance. If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. If you would like to apply for a couples session with Esther, please click here: https://bit.ly/40fGHIU. Want to learn

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52:39

I Don’t Want to Be Your Caregiver, I Want to Be Your...

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/12/09

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin, but might still be new to many of you. Almost two years ago her husband was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's Disease. They have three kids, a mortgage to pay, and he has developed some compulsive behaviors he isn't proud of. Esther helps them learn how to turn off the 'caregiver,' and remember they are much more than that to each other.If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to

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49:36

Esther Calling - Grief is Like a Fingerprint

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/12/02

This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening.Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard time having with ourselves let alone with others. This week, Esther talks to a woman stricken with grief--one year ago, her sister and father died in quick succession. Her remaining family was torn apart and she feels left to pick up the pieces on her own. Esther walks

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59:01

Say More - Esther Perel on Fantasy with Gillian Anderson

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/11/18

Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard time having with ourselves let alone with others. Oftentimes, our sexual fantasies exist in this space and reveal us at our most bare, showing us not just what we want sexually, but what we want emotionally and psychologically. Even with a loving partner, it can be difficult to share our most personal sexual fantasies. There's often shame, stigma, and a

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63:14

How Many Times Can I Forgive You?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/11/11

A year after explosive revelations of cheating and the existence of a 14 year old son her partner never told her about, a woman receives a call about a fresh round of betrayal. She is humiliated and in crisis, while her partner’s ability to compartmentalize has rendered him a ghost in his own life. They love each other and parent two boys but may not be able to find a shared reality in which to move forward.If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send

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55:51

Finding Love Would Mean Letting Go of Who I Am

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/11/04

He's been searching for someone for so long that he questions if he's actually looking for a unicorn. He wants someone who holds the same religious values as he does. As is often the case with Esther, the conversation that unfolds breaks down what's really underneath his seemingly high demands. This episode contains references to sexual abuse, please take care while listening. If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to

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52:49

Questions You Aren't Allowed to Ask

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/10/28

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin?, but might still be new to many of you. What began as an eight-year affair between two women has stretched into a 19-year partnership. But despite their private commitment to one another, they’ve never quite managed to move beyond the shame of their origin story. Esther takes a novel approach to revealing a long-held secret.If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to

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49:19

Esther Calling - You Are So Not Invited to My Wedding

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/10/21

Imagine meeting the love of your life at work. And a few months in, you want to keep the guy but ditch the job. Which is fine—until your fiancé wants to invite your evil ex-boss to the wedding. In this Esther Calling a young woman seeks advice from Esther on how to handle the conflict arising with her fiancé and his decision to invite her former abusive boss to their wedding. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and

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59:16

Love the Child, Not the Father

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/10/14

Theirs is an accelerated love story. They moved in, decided to have a baby, and are now struggling to weather the hardships of parenting together. She feels unsupported and like she's the only adult in the room. He is overwhelmed and constantly feels put down by her. They have split up emotionally but not yet physically. Esther helps them sort through the power, gender, and trust issues that so often arise with new parents to see if it's enough to help them find their way back. Esther’s two new

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45:35

Best Friends Don't Make For the Best Bosses

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/10/07

They have been best friends for years. He opened a book store and she was his first employee. Things were great until they weren't. She left to preserve the friendship- but a year later they still haven’t talked about what went wrong with them professionally. Esther talks to her about how to start a different kind of business relationship if they were willing to give this another go. This is a special episode of How's Work?, a one-time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. It was

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55:00

You're Inching Me Out

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/10/02

This is a classic session, from the first season of How's Work? They were mates in university before co-founding a successful communications company. They still work together from different coasts, but they barely speak. One wants to move on; the other is grasping for his former friend. Neither can find the words to talk about it.Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about

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55:41

Say More - Miranda July and Esther Perel on The...

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/09/23

This week, Esther is in a borrowed bedroom in Los Angeles, the perfect place to talk about desire and the novel on every bedside table, All Fours. The writer, director, and artist, Miranda July, joins Esther to examine the erotic and to explore how love and desire relate and how they conflict in modern relationships. They discuss the tension between the domestic and erotic through the lens of Esther's new desire course, which Miranda had a sneak peek at. For more details on Miranda July's book, All

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40:28

Esther Calling - Why Can't I Find Someone? Is it Me?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/09/16

Esther speaks to a woman who feels frustrated and stuck in her dating patterns. She loves going on dates, regularly meets people out and about, and feels open to having multiple forms of a relationship. And still…she gets to one or two or three dates before the relationship fizzles out. Esther gives her a new way to think about it and reframes her frustrations. Esther's has two new courses out. If you are interested in Bringing Desire Back or Playing With Desire in your relationships, then click

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66:33

We Had Boundaries and He Crossed Them

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/09/09

They were in a consensual, non-monogamous relationship and happily growing their family. But he broke the first rule of their relationship, and it resulted in a major crisis—an unplanned pregnancy involving another woman. They are committed to each other, but this unforeseen transformation of their family has many unexpected consequences that involve their entire world—family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors. Will their relationship be able to survive all of these upheavals? Learn more about your

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61:57

The Arc of Love - Happily Divorced

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/08/26

They're amicably divorced divorce lawyers, carving out a new kind of relationship after the end of their marriage. Esther reframes their situation and proposes a radical solution.What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a

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53:10

The Arc of Love - All The Things We Never Said

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/08/19

Often when a relationship ends, we're left with regrets, questions, and conversations we wish we could have had. Esther helps a woman process the things she left unsaid including the sexual grief and loss she feels after her husband unexpectedly died.What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The

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52:43

The Arc of Love - A Romantic Revival

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2024/08/12

This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening. The suicide of his first wife left four traumatized children in its wake; she's spent six years putting the pieces back together. They're both ready to experience joy in their marriage, but can't quite figure out how. Esther coaches them through the difference between survival vs. revival, and how to live after loss. What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a

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