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PODCAST

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel on "Where Should We Begin" and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? For an ad-free version of our podcast, plus bonus episodes, behind-the-scenes content, and more,

society & culture mental health

All Episodes

66:15

I Don't Mean to Be Mean, But...

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/10/05

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? She has no boundaries, he’s walled off. And their opposing communication styles cause immediate tension in this explosive session. So much so, that Esther finds herself adding to the chorus of angry voices. There might only be three people in this session, but Esther realizes she needs at least three more chairs for the in-laws whose voices and opinions are always playing in the background of this marriage. Producer’s Note:When our anonymous

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53:21

My Ex, His AI Girlfriend, And Our Kids

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/09/28

After the end of a fifteen-year marriage, she is trying to make sense of something she never imagined would become part of her family's story: her ex-husband's love affair with an AI companion. As her children struggle to make sense of what is real and what isn't, she turns to Esther for guidance on how to keep them grounded without invalidating their experience. How do you help your children trust reality without asking them to choose between their parents?Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60

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54:35

How Many Times Can You Betray Me?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/09/14

A married couple arrives at Esther’s office hoping to recover from a devastating rupture with his mother after the birth of their first child. But immediately their session reveals a longer, more complex history of betrayal within their relationship and within his larger family system. Having a child, and experiencing an absolute break from his abusive mother, finally disrupted the toxic dynamics between the couple. Now, as they revisit the moments when she felt most abandoned by him, Esther helps

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53:12

On Again/Off Again

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/08/31

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They've been on and off for almost 20 years. While she takes care of his and their child, she wants to know that he's also there for her. He's been battling depression for years. And the shame that comes with it. Producer’s Note:When our anonymous guestsdo a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us

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49:11

Will I Always Be Alone?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/08/24

He comes to Esther not with a singular question but with an overflow of words and unspoken truths. Betrayed by a once-supportive church and struggling to reconcile his desires with his emotions, he carries a loneliness that has followed him across continents. This session is all about naming. Naming the parts of his life, the feelings left unspoken, and the longings that ache in his heart.Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for

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37:20

Can I Be Loved?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/08/17

A young woman writes to Esther asking why she is interested in someone emotionally unavailable. Despite efforts to break this pattern, she realizes that some of her behaviors are rooted in a deep sense of control and the need to feel worthy of her parents' sacrifices. Esther walks her through this need for control and how to reclaim a sense of independence. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If

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36:02

Am I Being Gaslit?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/08/10

In this classic Esther Calling, Esther talks to a woman looking for clarity on whether she's being overly sensitive to her partner's critiques or if he is, in fact, gaslighting her. She has struggled with boundary setting before and she wonders if she is repeating the pattern here. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice

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50:59

I Love My Partner, So Why Can’t I Let Go of My Ex?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/08/03

What is the distinction between a love story and a life story? And what happens when they no longer move in the same direction? After returning to the Philippines to reconnect with a former partner she never fully let go of, one caller finds herself overwhelmed by grief, longing, and the fear of saying goodbye. Esther helps her untangle the relationship from the life it once represented and explore why some goodbyes are harder than others. What does it mean to hold onto someone with love without

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42:11

Burdens of the Family

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/07/27

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They share a legacy of war, a refugeeupbringing and family trauma. Their marriage was seen as taboo and now they're trying to build a happier relationship for their child.Producer’s Note:When our anonymous guestsdo a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have

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52:29

Is Using ChatGPT Hurting My Relationship?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/07/20

She comes to Esther with a question that feels distinctly of this moment: when does a tool become a transgression? After leaving a long, stable marriage, she finds herself in a new relationship marked by intense highs and low lows. She turns to AI, using it as a real-time coach to navigate arguments and break painful communication loops. She shows up differently, and the relationship begins to shift. But as the dust settles, a new question emerges. What does it mean to rely on something your partner

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54:04

You Slept With My Best Friend

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/07/13

The two couples had been inseparable—neighbors, chosen family, godparents to each other's children. She reaches out to Esther in despair after discovering that her husband had a ten-year-old affair with her best friend. For a decade, he kept the betrayal hidden while she believed they had built a loving marriage and family. Now she's left questioning whether any of it was real. They both want to stay together, but she's trapped in doubt and grief, while he's desperate to repair what he's broken

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40:20

My Hero Complex

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/06/29

When his ex calls in the middle of a crisis, he finds himself pulled back into a familiar role: the rescuer. He's always been the one women confide in, the one who steps up, the one who proves he's a good man by making sure no one falls apart on his watch. It’s a hero complex he wears easily. If he’s needed, he feels powerful. If he’s not, he feels invisible. He’s the strong one, the reliable one, and yet he rarely asks for help himself. Can he be loved not just for what he gives, but for who he

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44:21

20 Years Later, Esther Revisits Mating in Captivity

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/06/22

This week, Esther invites you into a conversation about desire, disruption, and what it means to stay alive to one another in a rapidly changing world.Recorded live at Sessions Live, Esther is joined by journalist and Head of Content at Esther Perel Global Media, Mary Alice Miller, for a look back on twenty years of Mating in Captivity and explore how our ideas about intimacy, desire, and relationships have evolved. Also, just for you, inspired by the anniversary of Mating in Captivity,

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49:55

Love in the Time of AI with Kashmir Hill

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/06/01

A recent session was a threshold moment for Esther where she found herself doing couples therapy with a man and his AI companion. To explore the questions it raised, Esther sits down with New York Times technology reporter, Kashmir Hill, who has spent years reporting on the growing world of AI relationships. They explore the psychological pull of these systems, the design choices behind them, and the deeper human needs they tap into. When a chatbot can mirror your thoughts, validate your feelings,

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58:14

I Gave Him an Ultimatum. Now What?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/05/11

A person gives their partner an ultimatum, and they fail to meet it. What happens then to the relationship? This couple comes to Esther with that question, wondering what future, if any, might be possible for them. A painful misalignment lies at the center of their polyamorous relationship. She wants to be an integrated part of his life, including his other partnerships; he wants to keep his relationships separate and invisible. Tired of feeling like a secret, she finally gave him an ultimatum: make

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56:18

Is This the Person I'm Meant to Be With?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/04/20

They arrive in Esther’s office at a crossroads. A year ago, they decided to de-escalate their relationship: to transition from romantic partners to live-in roommates. In their decade-long relationship, they had become stuck in dysfunctional patterns and toxic behaviors. But they didn’t want to force a complete separation: they still loved each other, and they couldn’t afford to move out on their own. A year into this platonic experiment, things feel better between them. Does this mean they should

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50:59

Wedding Woes About My Mom

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/04/13

She’s getting married soon, but before she walks down the aisle, she wants to walk toward her mother with more understanding. Years of complicated emotions since her parents’ divorce have built walls between them. With Esther’s insight, she learns how to acknowledge her own feelings, understand her mother’s defenses, and lay the groundwork for a more loving connection.Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and

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45:35

Should I Have Another Baby?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/04/06

When we become parents, many of us quietly promise ourselves that we won't be like our parents. We're going to do it differently. This week’s caller finds herself wrestling with a deeper question: Is her longing for another child born from genuine desire or from defiance? After a traumatic start to motherhood, she's now yearning for another child. But beneath that yearning lies the doubt: Am I doing this for me, or to prove that I’m not like her? Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute

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50:31

When I'm Manic I Cheat

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/03/30

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? Bipolar, infidelity, open relationship: they're stuck in a world of loaded words. Her friends are convinced she should leave, but she doesn't want to follow in her mother's footsteps. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories

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56:49

Love, Loneliness, and AI: Where Should We Begin? Live...

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/03/23

More than a decade ago, the film Her imagined a love story between a human and an artificial intelligence. Today, it no longer feels like fiction.In this special live taping of Where Should We Begin? from the Vox Media Stage at SXSW, Esther Perel is joined by Academy Award–winning filmmaker Spike Jonze to explore what happens when technology captures our affection. Drawing on a recent therapy session on the podcast with a man in a romantic relationship with his AI companion, Esther brings the

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