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PODCAST

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Hello, I"m psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves.Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday"s you"ll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

11:28

Help! My Seven Year Old Has a Boyfriend.

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/06/15

It’s a moment most parents dread, but it’s inevitable for all of us… when your child tells you, for the first time, that have a boyfriend or girlfriend.And for many of us, this might be much sooner than we’d expect. Not teenagers, but while they’re still in primary school.When this happens, it’s so important to deal with it head on, and I’m here to tell you exactly how to do this. And, if you find this bucket emptying episode useful, listen out for an episode coming very soon where I dive into the

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37:10

What to Expect When You're Expecting... and Beyond

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/06/11

This week I am revisiting a classic episode from last year about what to do when expecting your child - however we find ourselves embarking on the journey to parenting.It's also supremely relevant for all the other stages of our children's lives as they reach them -as these are another birth - walking, talking, preschool, school, university, first job, leaving home...My six pointers will help keep you grounded and sane.Here are the highlights:(01:14) Parents-to-Be consume information by the barrel

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12:46

Bucket Emptying: How Not to Raise Entitled Children

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/06/08

Do you have entitled kids?Are you at a loss about what to do with them?In this bucket emptying episode, I give you some practical advice to help you tackle entitlement in your children, because we both know all kids are kind at heart, so let’s bring that out in bundles!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:30 - Our kids have more than we did03:41 - Agency versus contribution08:21 - Acts of service10:36 - An important caveat💚 Join our

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54:56

I'll Take of Myself When... Why Putting Off Our Own...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/06/04

As the great Ru Paul would say, “if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else?”As parents, we instinctively put our children and family before ourselves, but that’s not always the best thing! In this episode I discuss the importance of self care, and why neglecting your own needs could be bad… not just for you, but for everyone.And joining me to discuss this is a super special guest, Tina Lond-Caulk, otherwise known as the Nutrition Guru. She is a bestselling author and

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16:34

Bucket Emptying: A Little Bit of the Right Praise Can...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/06/01

Confession time: I have put my kids’ artwork in the bin.Let’s face it, we can’t keep everything they do, and not everything they do will be successful or, in your opinion, praise-worthy.But praise isn’t just about the outcome; it’s not about winning or losing. Praise, when used at the right time and in the right way, can be super powerful at building confident, resilient children.In this bucket emptying episode, I’m going to share five ways that you can give praise that will nurture skills, build

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36:44

Diffusing Tantrums Without Losing It

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/05/29

What do you do when you’re out in public and your child absolutely loses it?Dealing with tantrums can be a daily occurrence as parents, but have you ever been at the end of tether and lost your cool?You’re not the worst parent - we’ve all been there! And that’s why, in this episode, I’m going to help you deal with the meltdowns and the tantrums.You’re going to understand what can cause them, how you can prevent them, and what to do in the moment so that you can handle the situation like the pro you

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19:01

Bucket Emptying: My Child is Obsessed with Being...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/05/26

Does your child the one who always runs to the front of a crowd, or insists on being the first in the bath, or can’t wait their turn during a game?Don’t worry, because you’re not alone! Insisting on being first is a common challenge faced by parents, so in this bucket emptying episode I am going to explain the reasons why this happens, and give you some practical things you can do to address it.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:03

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34:01

I Yell... Then I Cry... Then I Google 'Gentle Parenting'

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/05/22

As parents, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. To be patient. To never lose our temper. But spoiler alert: we’re still human.In this episode I’m here to help you in those moments where things are about to bubble over, and then you lose your cool. Because when you do that, you feel awful: it’s not who you are. I get it!I am going to share six things that you can do to help, so you no longer yell, you no longer cry, and you no longer have to Google for answers.Remember: behind every

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19:40

Bucket Emptying: A Life-Changing Strategy for You and...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/05/19

Are you a problem solver?You’re a parent, so of course you are! But not all problems need us to swoop in and save the day. As hard as it might be, our children sometimes need the opportunity to problem-solve, make mistakes and build those core skills that make them confident, resilient people.In today’s bucket emptying episode, I’m going to give you a life-changing strategy to help you identify those moments.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this

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37:07

How to Choose the Right School for Your Child

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/05/15

What should I look for in a school?Are grammar schools really better than comprehensive?How important are Ofsted reports?In this episode, as another year of school applications approaches, I’m going to guide you through the complicated and confusing world of choosing a school for your kids, with the help of my super special guest Melanie Sanderson, Managing Editor at The Good Schools Guide.The Good Schools Guide has been the number one independent resource on UK schools since 1986, providing parents

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15:01

Why Won't My Children Listen?

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/05/12

Do your children never pay attention to you?Are you at your wit’s end?Don’t worry, every parent struggles to get their kids to pay attention, and in this bucket emptying episode I’m going to share three things you can do that might help.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:04 - The reasons for their inattention03:27 - Outside distractions07:12 - Focus on the power of one12:19 - Setting boundaries💚 Join our campaign One Million

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39:33

Getting Out of Children's Way Builds Resilience

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/05/08

Do you like to fix your child’s problems?Are you trying to be their best friend?Sorry to break this to you, but these are some of the reasons why your kids may not be building the resilience you hoped. And I get it - we all want to help our children, and we hate seeing them struggle, but building identity and resilience is about learning how to fail and how to problem solve.In this episode, I talk you through SPRING, or the fundamental building blocks of resilience, and reveal the eight ways we as

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12:30

Empowering Children with Disabilities

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/05/04

What does being the best really mean?What does ‘fitting in’ look like?Parents and children living with physical disabilities live with a unique set of challenges. They often find themselves judged or ridiculed, and this can have a big impact on our kids.On this week’s bucket emptying, I welcome back Cathy Reay, a disabled writer and journalist, and mum of two (plus a very cheeky cat!). She also works in educational publishing. How To Be Disabled and Proud (or at least kinda sorta okay with it...) is

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31:25

When the Stakes Feel High

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/30

WARNING: this podcast is not for parents.I spend a lot of my time visiting schools and speaking to classes full of children of all ages, so for once I’m dedicating a podcast episode to you, the kids.This episode is all about giving you the skills and the understanding you need to manage those days when things feel overwhelming. Maybe your mental health is taking a hit, and maybe you have moments when the pressure gets too much.Well here’s the secret: it’s ok! And here are some things you can do to

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16:19

Bucket Emptying: Sharing Bedrooms

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/27

Do your children share a room?Do they argue?Are you at your wits end?Sibling rivalries, particularly when it comes to shared bedrooms, can be fierce, but sometimes we just don’t have a choice.But there’s good news…There is a way to make it work. From pairing the right children (and it might not be what you think) to creating private space and time for each child, I am going to share some top tips and expert advice that will help you make sharing bedrooms feel less like a daily battle!So find a comfy

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40:51

Why Paternity Leave Matters with The Dad Shift

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/23

Did you know the UK has the worst statutory paternity leave in Europe?Are you aware of the significant long term implications of reduced parental leave?And did you know that countries with better statutory paternity leave also have a smaller gender pay gap?In this episode, I am joined by Alex Lloyd Hunter, co-founder of The Dad Shift, to discuss everything from why he’s putting paternity leave on the agenda to breaking down traditional 1950s family stereotypes.This is one of my favourite

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11:48

Bucket Emptying: The Superpower of Eating Together

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/20

How often do you sit down and eat together as a family?If you’re a little embarrassed about the answer, then I have some news for you… you’re not alone. Most families do not regularly make time to eat together, and I get it! School, work, hobbies, errands - life gets in the way.But eating together can have real benefits, not just on your kids but on your whole family, and in this episode I explore some of those reasons, and encourage you to think about how you can find time to enjoy meals together

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46:14

School Refusal with Dr. Dan Weisberg

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/16

Is your child refusing to go to school?Do they seem frequently distressed?Is the school run the worst part of your day?School refusal is a growing problem, with more and more children missing more school than ever. But here’s a big spoiler: it’s not your fault.There are so many reasons why our kids don’t want to go to school, and on today’s episode I am going to unpack what those reasons are, and provide you with some actionable tips to help you manage this in an appropriate and constructive way.To

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14:31

Bucket Emptying: How Do We Have Conversations About...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/13

“Disability is not an us and them conversation, and it’s not a pity conversation. It’s about teaching kids compassion and an openness to collaboration”These are the words of today’s guest Cathy Reay, a disabled writer and journalist, and mum of two (plus a very cheeky cat!). She also works in educational publishing. How To Be Disabled and Proud (or at least kinda sorta okay with it...) is her first children’s book, and on this week’s bucket emptying episode we are discussing how to have

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17:09

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/09

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”This quote from prolific American businessman Henry Ford is one I use often, because usually our fears - of failure, of self-worth, or of anything else - usually stem from within.The power of positive thinking, right? A positive attitude with confidence and resilience can manifest better outcomes, so in this episode I am going to tackle this with you.This episode is based on the international bestselling book Feel the Fear And Do It

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