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1:56:02

Highlander II - Immortal Space Laser Conspiracy Theory

2024/01/15

Whether they are spacemen or from 1999 or from before the dinosaurs, The Immortals make some really stupid decisions and are pretty bad for Earth. How bout there can only be none? If you're a fan of mind-bending and utterly nonsensical movies, then "Highlander 2" is your ticket to an alternate reality where coherence takes a vacation and weirdness reigns supreme. The film kicks off with a bang, introducing us to the flying porcupine brothers. Yes, you read that right. These airborne creatures are

1:38:37

Double Trouble - It takes two, baby

2024/01/01

The Paul Bros. bench-press their way into our hearts and into a crime caper where they have to put their backs together and look over their shoulders with expressions that say, "You did it?" and "No, I thought you did it?" In the vast landscape of '90s comedies, "Double Trouble" emerges as a hidden gem that not only stands the test of time but also showcases the surprisingly impeccable comedic timing of the Paul brothers, turning what could have been just another buddy comedy into a riotous

1:32:04

Detective Knight: Redemption - Go how you wanna go,...

2023/12/18

Bruce Willis says goodbye in the only way he knows how - by blasting fools with a shotgun. Merry Christmas - you're dead! If you're a fan of detective movies, you will want a thrilling plot with well-thought-out mysteries and a satisfying resolution. Unfortunately, "Detective Knight Redemption" failed on all fronts. But, honestly, you should care about any of that. Read on. The plot of the movie is nothing short of stupid and poorly laid out. It felt as if the filmmakers prioritized flashy action

1:40:34

The Christmas Consultant - Don't Hassel Your...

2023/12/11

When you hire a pro, just let the pro do his job. You're still the one smart enough to hire him, lady! If you're in the mood for a festive film that perfectly encapsulates the true spirit of Christmas, look no further than Lifetime's original movie, "The Christmas Consultant," starring none other than the one and only David Hasselhoff. This holiday flick manages to blend heartwarming moments with a dash of Hoff ridiculousness, creating a unique and surprisingly delightful experience. At its

1:34:03

Elf-Man - Better than socks, I guess

2023/12/04

An elf gets ditched by his horrible boss, Santa, and is forced to fend for his life because some bratty girl doesn't appreciate the life her father has built for her as a single dad. Oh and Jeffrey Combs! "Elf-Man," a 2012 holiday film, falls into the category of hokey family Christmas movies that attempt to capture the true spirit of the season but ultimately miss the mark. While it's not as bad as one might initially fear, it still leaves much to be desired. The film follows the escapades of

1:48:17

Highlander - Listen first before sending death threats

2023/11/27

Just because we think its nonsense doesn't mean we AND you can't like it, but seriously.... Highlander, the 1986 fantasy film directed by Russell Mulcahy, is a cinematic rollercoaster that manages to be entertaining despite its numerous flaws. To put it bluntly, it's not a good movie in terms of traditional filmmaking standards, but there's an undeniable charm and fun factor that makes it enjoyable for those who appreciate its chaotic nature. One of the major issues with Highlander is its

1:38:21

Dirty O'Neil - It's not his police work that's dirty...

2023/11/20

Officer Jimmy O'Neil avoids the hard life of hard-boiled cops by taking it easy and just banging ladies, until justice needs some sweet, sweet loving too. "Dirty O'Neil," released in 1974, is a film that takes you on a wild journey through the low crime streets of suburban Los Angeles. While the movie has its merits, it certainly has its drawbacks, too. Let's start with the positive aspects. The film avoids capturing the essence of the '70s cop movie, instead choosing to spend most of its time

1:18:22

Bloodfist III - Forced to Watch

2023/11/14

Don "The Dragon" Wilson is not the same guy as the first two or the last five movies. This time he's in prison and......oh sorry fell asleep. If you're searching for a thrilling martial arts experience, "Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight" ain't it. This lackluster sequel not only fails to capture the essence of its predecessors but falls flat on every front, from its uninspiring plot to its lackadaisical fight choreography. The storyline, if it can be called that, is a haphazard collection of tired

1:09:43

Rockula - Maybe don't turn into a bat, Ralphie

2023/11/06

Dean Cameron is a vampire who doesn't bite people but has to relive the death of his beloved Moana who is killed every 22 years by a pirate wielding a ham-bone. But not this year, buster! "Rockula" is an absolute blast from the past that's so bad, it's fantastic! This 1990 gem takes the term 'cult classic' to a whole new level. Let's start with the music – it's so gloriously terrible that it somehow becomes insanely catchy. The tunes are like a guilty pleasure you can't help but hum along to,

1:39:28

Blood Hook - Sinker Madness

2023/10/16

When going fishing goes wrong, you can always blame cicadas. Actually, just blame cicadas for everything bad. "Blood Hook," the 1986 cult classic, is a hidden gem that beautifully exemplifies the art of making the most of a shoestring budget. This film's charmingly absurd and delightful combination of elements makes it an absolute delight for fans of offbeat cinema. First and foremost, the filmmakers behind "Blood Hook" deserve commendation for their remarkable efficiency in utilizing their

1:33:59

Curse 3: Blood Sacrifice - You’re not Pangaing your...

2023/10/09

First off, the plot of "Curse 3" is a rollercoaster of confusion and absurdity. It's a story that oscillates between moments of genuine intrigue and sheer head-scratching disbelief. You'll find yourself constantly asking, "Did that really just happen?" The film's unpredictability keeps you on the edge of your seat, eagerly anticipating the next ludicrous twist. The characters in "Curse 3" are unforgettable, not because of their depth or complexity, but because of their sheer audacity. From the

1:31:22

Vamps - Undead dating can be such a bummer

2023/10/02

It's more Clueless than Blade but it sure ain't The Lost Boys. I still believe, though. "Vamps," the 2012 movie starring Alicia Silverstone and Krysten Ritter, offers a refreshing and somewhat quirky take on the vampire genre. While it may not be everyone's cup of tea (including 1/3 of Stinker Madness), it certainly has its charm, thanks to its unique spin on vampires trying to navigate the complexities of human life while grappling with their immortality. One of the most intriguing aspects of

1.34:23

Repo Jake - Repo my heart, Jake, but never my undies!

2023/09/26

Repo Jake is more like Limpy Tube Steak! Sorry to all who also have limpy tube steaks. This 1990 cinematic gem starring Dan Haggerty, best known for his lovable role as Grizzly Adams, takes you on a rollercoaster of hilariously bad movie goodness that you won't soon forget. It's a prime example of the "so bad it's good" category that will have you laughing, cringing, and scratching your head all at the same time. First off, let's talk about Dan Haggerty. Seeing him trade in his rugged mountain man

1:23:07

Sword of the Valiant - Yeah, but why though?

2023/09/18

Sean Connery puts on some Studio 54 costume, Ator rides around and Linnet gets captured but she's a bird so its ok. "The Sword of the Valiant" is a 1984 movie that attempted to adapt the timeless Arthurian legend into a cinematic experience. Unfortunately, this adaptation falls far short of capturing the magic and wonder of the source material. Here's why this film left me thoroughly disappointed: Lackluster Storytelling: The film's plot is a disjointed mess that fails to engage the

1:35:01

High Spirits - Gave us mild nausea

2023/09/11

Mahoney and Misses Griswold fall in love with dead people who go out of their way to get them killed, while trying to save a castle from being foreclosed upon. Guess that's a thing... "High Spirits" (1988) is a film that promised so much with its intriguing premise but ultimately delivered so little. This supposed comedy is nothing more than a dull and groan-inducing exercise in wasted potential. First and foremost, the execution of the concept is painfully inept. The idea of a haunted Irish

1:19:09

Gas Pump Girls - Better go to college, kids

2023/09/05

Who knew that watching people gas up their cars could be such a bland experience? "Gas Pump Girls" (1979) is a film that perfectly encapsulates the epitome of mindless cinema. From its ridiculous plot to its gratuitous nudity, this movie is a prime example of how a potentially entertaining concept can be utterly wasted in practice. Let's start with the plot, or rather the lack thereof. "Gas Pump Girls" attempts to follow the misadventures of a group of scantily clad, gas station attendants as they

1:39:43

Extraterrestrial Visitors - The Trumpyiest Show, but...

2023/08/14

Trumpy finally hits the show and the dirt at the same time. Rick says, "It stinks!" Who asked you, Rick? Buckle up, space cadets, because "Extraterrestrial Visitors" (or should I say "Pod People") is a journey to the outer reaches of hilarity and absurdity that you won't soon forget! This gem of a film from 1980 takes you on a rollercoaster ride through a galaxy of Trumpy superpowers, dialogue that's more out of this world than the aliens themselves, and a plot that's so poorly thought out, you'll

1:44:41

The Rookie - Its a Buttendectomy

2023/07/31

Eastwood and Sheen team-up to accomplish....nothing really. Its maybe the worst written movie we've done and that includes M. Knight Shamalamadingdong stuff. Let's start with the positives, shall we? The stunts in this movie are so over-the-top, I suspect the entire budget went into explosions and car chases. It's like they set a new record for the most pyrotechnics used in a single film! If you're in the mood for gratuitous action that defies all laws of physics, "The Rookie" delivers like a pizza

1:27:42

The Tomb - The Mummy moves to LA for its high quality...

2023/07/24

Michelle Bauer stalks around LA in slinky outfits on a quest....for blood! Words, don't fail me now. One of the highlights of "The Tomb" is its nostalgic charm. The film exudes the distinct '80s vibe, complete with cheesy practical effects, low-budget sets, and a synthesizer-heavy soundtrack with corny beats and crummy lyrics that is very Fred Olen Ray. The "plot" follows a group of "amateur gynocologists" who venture into an ancient tomb in search of hidden treasures. There, they unlock the tomb

1:26:00

Strike Commando 2 - The Gullible Plot

2023/07/10

Michael Ransom is back but this time he's Brent Huff. Yet he manages to do all the same stuff as Reb Brown and adds on Indiana Jones to his abilities. So this is an odd version of the "idiot plot". Yes it qualifies because the movie can't happen unless everyone is an idiot. But it gets weirder than that with Michael Ransom's (Brent Huff) actions. All you have to do is plant the slightest seed in Ransom's mind of something and the guy goes for it. Not only goes for it, but goes WAY overboard for it

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