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PODCAST

Keeping Records

In 1977, NASA sent the Voyager into space with two records known as the “Golden Records.” On them were recordings of notable historic music, evocative nature sounds, and murmurs from contemporary life, all used to paint a picture of humanity and the world at large. Things have changed a lot since 1977, so Caleb Hearon and Shelby Wolstein are trying their hand at an update. They"re talking with comedians, musicians, and the like about what they would include on their own “golden record” if a new one

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

59:25

Home to Mama

Keeping Records ·

2022/01/21

Caleb and Shelby are back with their first video episode, which also just so happens to be a Listener Submission episode. Caleb questions the quality of his video, but decides he doesn't care because he looks great on camera. Meanwhile, Shelby's shadows? Sort of going wherever they want. Before diving into your picks, Caleb and Shelby analyze: Caleb's crazy week with the Pope in Tucson Girlies who can have free clout because they're *the* girlies 3rd string NFL tight ends they are both attracted

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68:34

Gender Crimes (with River Butcher)

Keeping Records ·

2021/12/03

Caleb is back from Missouri. Shelby is still in Ohio. There seems to be some question of whether Caleb is someone who enjoys biking but rest assured that he is into it. Comedian River Butcher is on the podcast today, and he's got the '90s on his mind. Well, the '90s and a song by Softee that absolutely GOES. River's Golden Record has the sound, look, and feel of a pre-2K world, because the aliens deserve it. And frankly? You do, too. River's Artifacts "Cutout" by Softee (audio) The sound of a

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60:35

Weekly Dog Council (with Jo Firestone)

Keeping Records ·

2021/11/19

Caleb and Shelby cope with being apart by contemplating their sexual chemistry. Comedian Jo Firestone is on the podcast this week, as is her dog companion Loaf. Jo loves Loaf, and we love Loaf. We love specific brands of tomato sauce, we love Greek women yelling at us to get our lives together, we love munching on ice, and we love the sound macaroni makes when it's getting stirred together. Wait...do we? Regardless, we do not love rats nor the sounds they make when tickled. Jo's Artifacts Rao's

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60:35

The Politician and The Ski Instructor

Keeping Records ·

2021/11/12

Shelby is in the studio. Caleb is in his and Shelby's old home. The novel coronavirus is in Caleb. (Ok, was in Caleb, he is feeling better, thank you.) It's a Listener Submission episode, and Listeners...your submissions this time were just...all over the place. You made Caleb and Shelby think about some weird and terrifying stuff that they definitely didn't want to think about, including but not limited to: The unknown depths of the ocean Where do eels come from? How frogs swallow (*police cadet

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62:54

To Rustle is Human (with Daniel Chua and Alex Rehding)

Keeping Records ·

2021/11/05

Caleb has moved out. Shelby is also moving out. Distance has come between them, but their love for one another bridges that great divide. Here to observe our hosts' attempt at coping with separation anxiety are Chair Professor Daniel Chua (University of Hong Kong) and Fanny Peabody Professor Alex Rehding (Harvard University), co-authors of the book Alien Listening: Voyager's Golden Record and Music From Earth (Princeton University Press). A discussion between four academic equals unfolds, focusing

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66:45

The Power of That (with Greta Titelman)

Keeping Records ·

2021/10/29

Caleb is off on a long-haul fishing boat, being forced by the crew to bite the head off of a live herring as a hazing ritual. That means Shelby is going to need some assistance this week. Enter: comedian Grace Kuhlenschmidt. The guest host we need. The guest host we deserve. Together, Shelby and Grace welcome comedian, actress, and writer Greta Titelman to the pod to unpack what is easily the most ambitious record to date—a full-length compilation drawing from every discipline, plus one thing that

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55:21

Nobody’s Eating Grandma (with Ryan Ken)

Keeping Records ·

2021/10/22

Hello, all of our special friends! And welcome to the show!! We're so happy to see each and every one of you, come on into our tree fort! We're launching Golden Records into outer space so that aliens far away can know ALL about the human race long after we've all turned to ash!! Today we're making a record with someone we care about so much, writer and actor Ryan Ken! Take a look at their record!! It's got a singer, an actor, hot bods, and great food! Ryan's Artifacts Whitney Houston singing the

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59:32

I'm Done With Art That Challenges Me (with Alison...

Keeping Records ·

2021/10/15

Fresh off of their weekend of debauchery in New York City (read: being kept up by neighbors and flooded in their hotel), Caleb and Shelby have a date with comedian, writer, and producer Alison Leiby (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, The President Show) to plan out her Golden Record. Alison wants to show the aliens our best media, and for them to be orally fixated and in comfortable footwear the whole time. Alison's Artifacts Diet Coke and popcorn (food and beverage) Party Down, S02E05, "Steve

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61:24

The Higher the Heel, the Closer to God

Keeping Records ·

2021/10/08

It has been a week of fending off requests from incredibly rich and famous celebrities, Nobel Prize laureates, the greatest writers, mathematicians, and physicists of our age, emails coming in four times an hour—"Please, please allow this unbelievably brilliant environmental scientist to personally curate a Golden Record to send into outer space!" "Caleb and Shelby, this former President of the United States needs to guest on the show this week, it's incredibly important." "You guys, we will give

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68:04

Tony Bennett’s Make-A-Wish (with Colin Rourke)

Keeping Records ·

2021/10/01

chicago > city of chicago > apartments/housing for rent — North Center spacious 4 bed 2 bath, 4 min walk to Irving Park Brown Line. Lots of natural light. New appliances, in-unit laundry. Guarantors accepted, for immediate move-in. Contact comedian and prince Colin Rourke for more info. Link to video walkthrough. Colin's Artifacts Rat Race (2001) (audio-visual) Sully Sullenberger (animated character) The smell of Banana Boat sunscreen (smell) The University of Michigan Senior Musical Theater

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64:23

Boil the Frog (with Blaire Erskine)

Keeping Records ·

2021/09/24

September 20th, 2021 Dear Diary, Waz up!!!!!! Today Blaire Erskine (you know, comedian and writer on Jimmy Kimmel Live!) came on the podcast to tell us all about what she would blast off into outer space to send to the aliens. We had such a crazy fun time singing along to Leanne Rhymes, Sheryl Crow, Kelly Clarkson, and Pat Monahan (total dreamboat!!!). We watched Dragon Tales, Coyote Ugly and Nurse Jackie, and then Blaire read to us from her diary and guess what!!! She is totally crushing on

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60:01

Time Starts Now (with Michael Cruz Kayne)

Keeping Records ·

2021/09/17

It's a no-holds-barred episode. Weddings, canceling plans, CHANGING plans, appetizers, monkey bread, they're all on the chopping block, and you can be sure the podcast premise is gonna take a LONG time to get to. Thankfully, comedian, actor, and writer Michael Cruz Kayne (The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Late Night with Seth Meyers) is here to move the show along and advocate for his Golden Record. He's got basketball players that don't look like basketball players, musicals and overzealous

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77:07

Caleb and Shelby Hit It Raw From Behind

Keeping Records ·

2021/09/10

If you've ever wondered what Keeping Records would sound like if the guest was off-mic in the corner of the room, and then left 15 minutes into the episode leaving Caleb and Shelby to their own devices, well, have we got an episode for you. It's an episode devoted totally (TOTALLY!) to your (YOU! THE LISTENER!!) picks! There are way wayyyy too many to list, and just as many Delete Its, so I'm just going to tell you to check out MUNA's new music video for "Silk Chiffon (feat. Phoebe Bridgers)" to

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59:40

Boston Crime Donut (with Lureena Cornwell)

Keeping Records ·

2021/09/03

Some people say that art is chaos, and, in that sense? This episode is...art. Actor, improviser, and writer Lureena Cornwell has a virtual visit with Caleb and Shelby, who, per usual, are in a fight. This time it's over a cat turd. Aside from that, though, our hosts must know what's on Lureena's record, which is so unfortunate because her internet service provider absolutely does not want that. When the dust has settled and Lureena's upload speed has improved beyond 1 Mbps, she gives the aliens a

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69:15

Human Life Is Not Beautiful (with Dan Sheehan)

Keeping Records ·

2021/08/27

Caleb and Shelby have been ousted from their home and must seek refuge in the Headgum office. Joining them via conference call from his landline is writer and comedian Dan Sheehan, who spontaneously generates a list of artifacts to put on his Golden Record. He'll introduce the aliens to the Mediterranean diet and local area network gaming. He'll give them the perfect entrance/invasion music. He'll show them majestic, decorated domesticated animals. And most generous of all? He'll help the aliens

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57:40

Some Dumb Joke (with Abby McEnany)

Keeping Records ·

2021/08/20

Writer, comedian, actress, improviser (and if I'm being honest? friend!) Abby McEnany is on the podcast, and she's brought her deep, deep passion for the United States Postal Service. (UPS is also close to her but for different reasons.) Vincent D'Onofrio, brand-name ibuprofen, Abby's kickass nephews, and President Jimmy Carter himself are all going to space. Ok, President Carter himself isn't going, but the aliens do need to know about everything he's been up to. Abby's Artifacts Procedural crime

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62:49

Fundamentally Corny (with Taylor Garron)

Keeping Records ·

2021/08/13

Join Shelby and Caleb as they discuss their lives of opulence and mental stability with writer and comedian Taylor Garron. Yes, eventually they will get to Taylor's Golden Record picks, but it is extremely important that they spend 20+ minutes discussing gold futures and the frustrations of property tax variances from state to state. Of course, with all of that wealth must come the finer things in life, all of which Taylor is sending to the aliens—dining (and, frankly? lunching) on crustaceans,

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57:37

Billionaire Mindset (with Liva Pierce)

Keeping Records ·

2021/08/06

Caleb and Shelby have a sit-down with writer and comedian Liva Pierce to talk about their hopes, dreams, and personal choices of artifacts to send to outer space so that aliens may one day come to understand what life on Earth was like at its zenith. Of COURSE there's Kate Bush. Of COURSE there's delicious food. You KNOW there are human social practices on there, and musicals. IT'S. ALL. THERE. Enjoy, aliens. Shelby and Caleb are also extremely uncooperative when role-playing. Liva's Artifacts "The

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66:53

The Pretty Committee Strikes Back (with Benito Skinner)

Keeping Records ·

2021/07/30

Actor. Comedian. Writer. Icon. Benito Skinner is on the pod and he's here to show the aliens (or any other beings who might find the record, he does not discriminate!!!) more than just pop culture—he wants them to feel the passage of time. Groundbreaking albums go from panned to adored. Musicians put on amazing performances and are shunned. TV-shows run 100 episodes without heeding any stop signs. Meh clothing becomes a uniform. And The Lion King goes from being an animated film, to a live Broadway

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63:53

Defending Rubbernecking (with Marcella Arguello)

Keeping Records ·

2021/07/23

Caleb and Shelby welcome stand-up comedian Marcella Arguello into the Headgum family the only way they know how—by getting into a Dick Feud with her. TBQH it's mostly Shelby's feud, with Caleb instigating and causing chaos from the sidelines (as he does). And all this happens around building Marcella's Golden Record, which has iconic TV, iconic music, iconic GIFs, iconic nails, and iconic toddlers. Marcella's Artifacts Rihanna GIF where she rolls up the car window (visual) Mariah Carey,

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92 results

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