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PODCAST

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast

Jai The Gentleman

Dear Black Gay Men Weekly is your weekly dopeness reminder and your favorite content creator’s favorite content. dearblackgaymen.substack.com

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

18:51

Why Good Men Love Open Relationships (while 70% of...

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/07/02

My inadequacies around relationship stemmed from times when my feelings were disregarded. I learned, having been on the receiving end of emotional trauma, that there are three basic agreements at work in any relationship. Nailing these will help quell the inadequacies and insecurities so many of us experience in our partners, and make way for clear agreements that both (or all) involved can be comfortable with.Chapters: Three Basic Agreements in a Healthy Relationship (00:00:00)Agreement with Self:

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16:22

I Came Out...to My P*nis

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/06/11

This week Jai The Gentleman discusses:How "coming out" goes way further than just telling people you're gay. It's an everyday process that starts with yourself.NEW CONTENT, every day on YT : youtube.com/@dearblackgaymenSubscribe to second channel: youtube.com/@jaithegentlemanShop Brand New Merch: https://dearblackgaymen.shopListen on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3CvMjThListen on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3pKIK47ChaptersIntroduction: Defining "Coming Out" (00:00:00)Introduction & Announcements

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15:08

I Found My Boyfriend...Then My Life Fell Apart

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/05/28

This week Jai The Gentleman discusses the last relationship he was in and how Black queer culture tried to destroy it. And how you can safeguard your relationship from the triggers that come from the gworls.00:00 Introduction to Black Gay Culture and Relationships 01:04 Welcome to Dear Black Gay Men Podcast 01:47 Personal Dating Experiences and Vulnerability 03:11 Church Announcements and Upcoming Events 05:15 Lessons Learned from Past Relationships 07:43 The Importance of Trust in Relationships

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14:30

3 Signs Your Black Gay Romance is the Real Deal

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/05/07

Read “I made 6 guys cum at the park” https://bit.ly/4jFmRx3Chapters00:00 The Importance of Sex in Relationships 00:57 Introduction to the Podcast 01:56 Church Announcements 04:21 Signs of a Healthy Relationship 08:35 The Complexity of Relationships 13:24 Conclusion and Final Thoughts➡️ Shop DBGM Merch: https://www.dearblackgaymen.shop ➡️ Become an Insider: https://youtube.com/@dearblackgaymen/join➡️ Join the newsletter: http://dearblackgaymen.substack.com📲 Subscribe to Dear Black Gay Men

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20:23

I was nude in the club...

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/04/23

A trip to Atlanta's nude club night, "Reveal," taught me that I'm probably better off single in this season of life.Read "I Made 6 Guys Cum At The Park" https://bit.ly/4jFmRx3--Chapters00:00 Introduction to Single Life Levels 00:09 Coincidentally Single 00:39 Intentionally Single 00:56 Temporarily Single 01:28 Podcast Introduction 02:09 Church Announcements 05:12 Breakup Reflections 07:53 Lessons from Joe 15:31 Embracing Single Life 19:12 Conclusion and Final Thoughts--➡️ Connect with Jai The

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24:56

The Break-up Is Over...Now What?

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/04/09

00:00 Introduction: Post-Breakup Reflections01:31 New Features: Substack and Live Shows04:10 Church Announcements: Updates and Membership04:42 Personal Story: Lessons from a Breakup07:51 Dating Insights: Commitment and Communication17:44 Final Thoughts: The Importance of Perseverance23:53 Closing Remarks: Stay Connected Get full access to Dear Black Gay Men’s Substack at dearblackgaymen.substack.com/subscribe

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17:29

How I Went From "In Love" To "Men Are Dogs" and Back...

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/03/26

Playing With FireMy eyes opened and my heart sank. I was expecting a “Good Morning Jarrett”. The same text I’d received everyday for the past 3 months. But today there was no good morning greeting, no salutation from the guy I loved. Nothing. Yesterday I was in love and today I’m alone.Saturday he dumped me. I thought we were getting closer and finding our way. Little did I know that the next fork in the road would be where he felt it best to carry on alone. We’d discussed my work and his,

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15:24

The Dating Secret They Don't Tell You: 3 Phases

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/03/19

I spent 3 months on dating apps with 0 matches…For a while I thought I wasn’t what Black guys desired, but really, it was a deeper key that I was missing: intention…both mine and theirs.Dating is a combination of time and effort. Some of us have a lot of time to date, but don’t focus our effort in a way that moves us down our journey to happiness. Others have effort, but no time. Some have neither.The sweet spot is when you AND HE have bothRelationships are born with you and the guy you’re trying

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18:07

You're Speaking Love Languages Wrong: The Truth About...

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/03/12

Let’s watch some Netflix…I thought this was enough for quality time: you’re here; I’m here. We’re spending time so it has to be quality. Then I met Brandon.He checked all the boxes of the non-negotiables that Lamont talked about on his appearance on Dear Black Gay Men Podcast. But every time we spent time together, I felt more alone with Brandon than I did without him.Quality is relativeOur love languages are not one-size fits all. Each of us has a reason why that particular love language

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16:38

How to MANifest your ideal relationship

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/02/12

It could all be so simple, but…We’d rather make the dating process so hard. It boils down to ego keeping us from what we actually want.Desire says, “I want a man.” But ego says “I’m independent.”Desire says, “I’m ready to date”. But ego says “Say less.”Ego is that thing lingering in the back of our mind that protects who we are from the outside and we think it keeps us safe. Ego is that piece of our personality makes us hyper-independent and needing nothing from anybody.But the hard thing about not

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16:33

Nervous About Asking Someone Out? You're Not Alone!

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/02/05

Dating has gotten way too complicated, but…It’s not the dating. It’s me. Underneath all the fluff, and heartache, and trauma all of us have endured, we all want the same thing: to be desired, to be wanted, and to be loved. Dating is the pathway each of us has to walk to fulfill that desire—the process of figuring out who we are and sharing it with someone special.New uploads EVERY DAYSupport the Channel: https://bit.ly/43lQ2N9Listen to the podcast: https://tinyurl.com/5ymdtdx4➡️ Shop DBGM Merch:

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17:37

Why dating rejection HURTS SO BAD

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/01/29

I feel like dating has gotten so complicatedNot that I’m old or anything, but there was a time when you saw someone at the club or out in gay spaces, walked over to him, asked his number. Probably jotted it on a napkin, and you pursued happiness. Now, as this experience would have it, men get to see you, build a narrative around who you are and how you carry yourself, then react to, ghost, or deny that guy.Welcome to Dear Black Gay Men on Substack. It’s still our short, b******t-free step out of

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00:12:46

Guarded Ninjas

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/01/22

I used to be drawn to a “project”: men who I dated for their potential. That was my virgo-ish-ness on full display. I’ve unlearned my overthinking, hyper-critical, project seeking mannerisms and replaced them with some more self-actualized behaviors. But those lessons came from dating men like “Tony”. Luckily, I caught this lesson before it was too late.➡️ Shop DBGM Merch: https://www.dearblackgaymen.shop ➡️ Become an Insider: https://youtube.com/@dearblackgaymen/join ➡️ Join the

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00:16:11

Don't Twerk on My D*ck

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2025/01/01

Thirsty Thursday, every week, 8pm on YT : youtube.com/@dearblackgaymenThis week Jai The Gentleman discusses: The time I had an entanglement in my front yard. Subscribe to second channel: youtube.com/@jaithegentleman Shop Brand New Merch: https://dearblackgaymen.shop Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/49lxwQaRAKrBwjxeRN0NAu?si=0b830412dcf141df Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-black-gay-men-podcast/id1581655281

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00:19:40

From paper towel to wash cloth

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2024/12/25

Thirsty Thursday, every week, 8pm on YT : youtube.com/@dearblackgaymenThis week Jai The Gentleman discusses: One of my regulars broke his routine and showed me how he really feels about our entanglements. Subscribe to second channel: youtube.com/@jaithegentleman Shop Brand New Merch: https://dearblackgaymen.shop Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/49lxwQaRAKrBwjxeRN0NAu?si=0b830412dcf141df Listen on Apple Podcasts:

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00:17:25

My bad for making you p*ss yourself

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2024/12/18

Thirsty Thursday, every week, 8pm on YT : youtube.com/@dearblackgaymen This week Jai The Gentleman discusses: It was an unexpected threeway that turned into a HUGE lesson. Subscribe to second channel: youtube.com/@jaithegentleman Shop Brand New Merch: https://dearblackgaymen.shop Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/49lxwQaRAKrBwjxeRN0NAu?si=0b830412dcf141df Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-black-gay-men-podcast/id1581655281

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00:25:46

You f***cked me four times, bruh

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2024/12/11

Thirsty Thursday, every week, 8pm on YT : youtube.com/@dearblackgaymenThis week Jai The Gentleman discusses: This entanglement left me drained...and I enjoyed it. Subscribe to second channel: youtube.com/@jaithegentleman Shop Brand New Merch: https://dearblackgaymen.shop Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/49lxwQaRAKrBwjxeRN0NAu?si=0b830412dcf141df Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-black-gay-men-podcast/id1581655281

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00:08:13

Open Relationship OBSESSION

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2024/12/04

Why are open relationships EVERYWHERE. Jai The Gentleman got a DM from a viewer after his interview on the show about Open Relationships. The guests and the audience agree that poly and non-monogamous guys are everywhere. Why are these relationship types so prevalent and what can singles do about in the dating pool? The Unlikely Throuple DC: https://posh.vip/e/the-unlikely-throuple-dc-2 For more information on HIV Vaccine Trials Network: https://www.helpendhiv.org ➡️ Shop DBGM Merch:

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00:16:41

Black Gay Priviliege

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2024/11/06

Jai The Gentleman posted this reel about dating trans men and the part that got the most commentary was when I said “f*ck people not parts”. As much as I know this applies to dating people of trans experience, I think the rest of Black gay culture still can use the memo.This is how Jai The Gentleman learned about the fetishization of men in Black gay culture, and what the culture must do about it. The Unlikely Throuple DC: https://posh.vip/e/the-unlikely-throuple-dc-2 For more information

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00:15:26

F*ck people not parts

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast ·

2024/10/23

Jai The Gentleman posted this reel about dating trans men and the part that got the most commentary was when I said “f*ck people not parts”. As much as I know this applies to dating people of trans experience, I think the rest of Black gay culture still can use the memo.This is how Jai The Gentleman learned about the fetishization of men in Black gay culture, and what the culture must do about it. ➡️ Shop DBGM Merch: https://www.dearblackgaymen.shop ➡️ Become an Insider:

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