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PODCAST

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal

Choosing To Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal

Choosing To Stay After Infidelity & Betrayal is a podcast for couples navigating the aftermath of infidelity, betrayal, and broken trust. Whether you’re a betrayed partner making sense of the pain, or the partner who caused harm and wants to repair what was broken, this show offers trauma-informed tools, honest conversations, and grounded hope. Hosted by Hali Roderick, the podcast explores trust repair, emotional regulation, accountability, boundaries, and discernment—without rushing forgiveness

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:29:37

#116 Partner-Sensitive Recovery: The Missing Key to...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/07/17

In this episode of Choosing to Stay, Hali welcomes Stephen Thomas, a seasoned sexual recovery coach who brings years of experience and a deeply personal understanding of the recovery journey. Stephen specializes in helping men move beyond behavior-focused sobriety by adopting a partner-sensitive lens—one that centers empathy, honesty, and emotional connection.Together, they unpack why true recovery must include the betrayed partner’s experience, how relational healing is possible when humility and

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00:38:18

#115 Rebuilding After the Fall: The Path of Shame...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/07/10

Thank you for tuning in!Shame Resilience in Recovery with Joseph McKinley In this episode of Choosing to Stay, we sit down with coach Joseph McKinley to talk about the role of shame in recovery and relational repair. We explore the difference between shame and guilt, how shame shows up in relationships, and why vulnerability and ownership are key to healing. Joseph shares tools, insights from his coaching work, and personal reflections on building resilience through self-compassion and

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00:23:52

#114 Safety Starts Within Reclaiming Internal...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/07/03

Thank you for tuning in!Safety Starts Within Reclaiming Internal Grounding After BetrayalWhen betrayal shatters your world, safety feels lost. In this episode, we explore how true safety begins within, not in someone else's behavior. Whether you’re the one healing or the one working to rebuild trust, internal grounding is keyWe’re here to support couples healing from infidelity and betrayal, offering encouragement, practical skills, and expertise each week. As certified relational recovery coaches,

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00:31:15

#113 Nervous System Safety After Betrayal: How to...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/06/26

In this episode, we explore how betrayal trauma impacts the nervous system and what it truly means to feel safe again in a relationship. If you or your partner have been affected by betrayal—whether through infidelity, secrecy, or other trust ruptures—this conversation will help you understand why emotional reactions are not just “drama,” but deeply rooted in trauma physiology.We’ll talk about what happens in the body after betrayal, how to recognize the signs that safety is still missing, and how

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00:38:43

# 112 Rediscovering Self After Betrayal with Isy...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/06/19

In this deeply insightful episode, we welcome our newest coaching colleague at Choose Recovery Services, Isy Williams, for a conversation that touches the heart of every betrayed partner’s healing journey: rediscovering the self after the deep shattering of betrayal.Together, we explore the often invisible yet powerful knowing that something is off—even before the truth is revealed—and the role that instinct and intuition play when the mind doesn’t have all the facts. Isy shares wisdom on navigating

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00:23:36

#111 Love Bombing: How to Recognize It, Protect...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/06/12

💔 Episode Summary:This episode will help you understand what love bombing really is, how it shows up in relationships after betrayal, and why it can be a form of manipulation or emotional abuse.✅ What love bombing is and what it isn't ✅ How to distinguish between genuine connection and manipulative intensity ✅ The red flags that indicate love bombing is occurring ✅ How it plays out in the betrayal and recovery cycle ✅ Why it feels so good—and why it can be so dangerous ✅ How to set healthy

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00:27:15

#110 Learning Vulnerability: Letting Your Spouse Know...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/06/05

In This Episode: We explore what it really means to let your spouse know you beyond surface communication and into emotional truth. We’ll talk about the difference between empathy and vulnerability, how stuffing emotions can quietly stall your repair. The Importance of vulnerability that real connection can’t happen without it.What You’ll Learn:How your nervous system tries to protect you—and what healing asks insteadWhy emotional honesty is necessary for rebuilding connectionReal-life examples of

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00:25:38

#109 Why Isn't She Healing Yet: 3 Myths Men Need to...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/05/29

In this powerful episode, Hali Roderick and Luke Gordon unpack three of the most common myths that keep men stuck and prevent relationships from truly healing after betrayal. Whether you're early in your recovery journey or have been doing the work for a while, these insights will help you shift from unintentional harm to intentional healing.We also introduce the Help Her Heal Intensive for men, happening this July in Spanish Fork, Utah. Check the link for an exciting new optional Add-On for

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00:28:52

#108 Triggers Aren’t Setbacks — They’re Invitations...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/05/22

Triggers Aren’t Setbacks — They’re Invitations to HealIn this powerful episode, we dive deep into what happens when a betrayed spouse is triggered — especially when the trigger seems irrational or unrelated to the present moment. If you're the partner who has caused the betrayal, it can be confusing and overwhelming to understand these reactions. But how you respond in those moments matters more than you might realize.We’ll explore why logical explanations and defensiveness don’t help, and how

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00:30:20

#107 How to Heal When Your Spouse Isn’t Doing the Work

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/05/15

📝 Show Notes: In this powerful and deeply honest episode, we’re exploring what it means to choose to stay in a relationship after betrayal—even when your spouse isn’t actively participating in the healing process.If you’ve found yourself in a place where you're committed to working through the pain, even though your partner isn’t fully engaged, this episode is for you.We’re not here to sugarcoat the journey—but to honor it. Staying doesn’t mean you're stuck. It means you’re consciously

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00:29:53

#106 Why Should I Validate Something I Don’t Even...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/05/08

In this episode of Choosing To Stay, we explore one of the most important—and often overlooked—skills in relational recovery after betrayal: seeking to understand.Seeking to understand isn’t about agreeing or even seeing things the same way. It’s about being present, seeking to understand, and respecting your partner’s experience—even when it differs from your own. We dive into what active listening actually looks like, why it can feel so hard (especially when emotions run high), and how it helps

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00:26:17

#105 How to Stop Arguing with Your Spouse and Break...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/05/01

In this episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal, we dive deep into one of the most challenging aspects of healing after betrayal: breaking the cycle of unhealthy communication patterns. Infidelity can fracture not only trust but the way we communicate with our partners, often leading to constant arguments, defensiveness, and a lack of resolution. But it’s possible to step out of these destructive cycles and create healthier, more productive conversations that promote healing,

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00:27:36

#104 A Powerful Somatic Practice for Healing Partner...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/04/24

Thank you for tuning in! In this episode, Stephanie Lynn explores a unique healing tool—rhythmic expression using the ancient frame drum. Stephanie shares how this somatic practice helps betrayed partners process grief, anger, and overwhelm when words fall short. We talk about how drumming regulates the nervous system, reconnects the body, and gives voice to unspoken pain—all within a safe, guided space.Whether you’re new to somatic healing or looking for something to support your journey beyond

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00:28:18

#103 When Fear and Shame Speak Loud, Listen to Your...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/04/17

After betrayal, both partners can find themselves stuck in overwhelming thoughts. The betrayed partner may struggle with replaying painful memories and fearing the future, while the partner who acted out may feel shame, regret, and self-doubt. In both cases, the emotional brain (limbic system) can hijack the logical brain, making it hard to make choices based on values, integrity, and true healing.In this episode, we’ll explore how to shift out of the mental chaos and into heart-centered clarity, so

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00:36:59

#102 Recovery Is a Journey: What Physical Healing...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/04/10

In this powerful episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal, Hali is joined by her coaching colleague, Rachel Strong, to explore the similarities between physical and emotional healing. Rachel, who recently broke her elbow while ice skating, shares her personal experience of recovery and how it mirrors the emotional journey of healing from betrayal and infidelity. Recovery, whether physical or emotional, is rarely a solo journey. The importance of seeking help from professionals,

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00:38:04

#101 Rebuilding Trust Through Communication—Healing...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/04/03

Communication after betrayal can feel like walking through a minefield—full of triggers, misunderstandings, and deep emotional wounds. In this episode, we explore essential healthy communication strategies that help couples reconnect, rebuild trust, and create emotional safety in their relationship. Whether you're struggling to express your feelings, feeling unheard, or unsure how to move forward, this episode offers practical tools and real-life examples to guide you.Mentioned in this episode:

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00:36:02

#100 Healing or Hiding? The Difference Between...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/03/27

After infidelity, emotions can feel overwhelming. Many people unknowingly bypass their pain—either by forcing positivity, over-intellectualizing, or even using spirituality to avoid sitting with difficult feelings. But true healing requires emotional processing, not avoidance.In this episode, we break down:The difference between emotional processing, emotional bypassing, and spiritual bypassingSigns you might be avoiding your emotions without realizing itWhy “just moving on” too quickly can slow

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00:30:57

#99 Truth & Compassion: Answering Questions Without...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/03/20

In today's episode, we talk about the flood of questions a betrayed partner may have—some seeking clarity, some driven by hurt, and some that feel impossible to answer without making things worse. How a betrayer responds to these questions can either help rebuild trust or deepen the wound.In this episode, we explore how to navigate these difficult conversations with honesty, sensitivity, and emotional awareness. We’ll discuss how to answer questions both before a formal disclosure and after full

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00:29:21

#98 Turning Criticism into Connection: Rebuilding...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/03/13

Criticism can feel especially painful when you're healing from relational trauma—it can trigger old wounds, stir up self-doubt, and even make you question your progress. But what if criticism could be used as a tool for deeper connection instead of conflict? In this episode, we explore how to shift your perspective on criticism, separate past pain from present feedback, and use difficult conversations as opportunities for healing and trust-building.Thank you for tuning in!We’re here to support

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00:24:15

#97 Resentment and Bitterness After Betrayal—What’s...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/03/06

Resentment and bitterness can feel impossible to escape after betrayal. They’re natural responses to deep hurt, broken trust, and the unfairness of it all. But what if these emotions aren’t just obstacles—they’re actually messengers? What if they’re pointing to unmet needs, unresolved grief, or fears about the future?In this episode, we dive into the deeper meaning behind resentment, why it lingers, and how to move forward without bypassing your pain. If you feel stuck in bitterness, this

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