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PODCAST

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal

Choosing To Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal

Choosing To Stay After Infidelity & Betrayal is a podcast for couples navigating the aftermath of infidelity, betrayal, and broken trust. Whether you’re a betrayed partner making sense of the pain, or the partner who caused harm and wants to repair what was broken, this show offers trauma-informed tools, honest conversations, and grounded hope. Hosted by Hali Roderick, the podcast explores trust repair, emotional regulation, accountability, boundaries, and discernment—without rushing forgiveness

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:23:41

#179 - 5 Ways to Stay in Your Marriage Without Losing...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/10/01

When you're trying to heal a marriage after infidelity or betrayal, it's easy for recovery to become the center of everything.In this episode, Hali explores five ways couples can rebuild trust and emotional safety after betrayal without either partner disappearing in the process.Whether you are the betrayed partner or the partner who broke trust, healing after infidelity isn't just about keeping your marriage together. It's also about learning how to stay connected to yourself while

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00:41:18

#178 Understanding Intimacy Anorexia — with Dr....

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/09/24

"Intimacy anorexia" is one of the most talked-about — and most misunderstood — terms in betrayal recovery. In this episode, I set out to understand it honestly, with one of the most credentialed voices in the field - Dr. Janice Caudill.This conversation is built for couples. Whether you're the betrayed partner or the one working to rebuild trust, we look at how intimacy breaks down, how to tell the difference between active withholding and a trauma response, and what realistic,

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00:11:27

#177 One Hour a Week Was Never Going to Be Enough

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/09/17

If you're a woman and you’re doing the work — therapy, coaching, reading everything you can get your hands on — and you're still white-knuckling it alone most days of the week, this episode is for you. I talk about why healing from betrayal trauma was never going to happen in one hour a week, including from my own experience, and about a pattern I see constantly: how much of our time, money, and energy goes toward his healing while ours quietly gets put on the back burner. Then I introduce

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00:14:02

#176 The Fight Under the Fight — Decoding What...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/09/10

If you're rebuilding trust after infidelity, you've probably noticed something strange: small disagreements can escalate way faster and way bigger than the topic seems to deserve. A dish in the sink. A short text back. Being fifteen minutes late.In this episode, we talk about why that happens — and it's not because either of you is being dramatic. After betrayal, your nervous system starts running everyday moments through a threat filter, not just an annoyance filter. That means ordinary

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00:43:01

#175 The Separation Plan Guide: Navigating Time Apart...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/09/03

"Separation" doesn't have to mean divorce. In this episode, I'm joined by Shawna Meek of Living Stones Coaching to talk about the therapeutic separation — a structured, intentional time apart designed to create safety and clarity for couples navigating betrayal.Whether you're considering time apart or just trying to understand your options, this conversation offers a grounded starting point. Connect with Shawna Meek: www.livingstonescoaching.com or shawna@livingstonescoaching.comDetermined for More

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00:29:15

***BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: What I Wish...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/08/29

In this episode of the Choosing Different mini-series, Hali is joined by her daughters, Mataia and Morgan, for an honest conversation about betrayal trauma's impact on the whole family — not just the marriage. Hali reflects on what she believed she was doing right at the time (staying reassuring, keeping hard details between the adults) and what she's since learned she missed about how her daughters were actually experiencing it. Mataia and Morgan share what that season of family trauma

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00:14:56

#174 It's Not Too Late: Healing an Affair You Thought...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/08/27

If the betrayal in your relationship happened years ago — and life moved forward, but the deepest layers of healing never actually happened — this episode is for you.Maybe the resources weren't available at the time. Maybe neither of you had the language for what betrayal trauma actually is. Maybe you got through the facts but never did the deeper grief work. Whatever the reason, when real repair gets skipped, the pain doesn't disappear — it waits.Enjoyed This Episode?If this conversation

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00:44:59

#173 Betrayed Men: Why Their Trauma Looks Different —...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/08/20

When we talk about betrayal trauma, the picture most people carry is of a betrayed woman. But men experience betrayal too — and their pain often goes unseen, misread as anger, or dismissed entirely. In this episode, Dr. Laney Knowlton joins us to look honestly at what betrayal trauma looks like for men.We talk about the support gap, look at the cultural messages men carry, and how those make healing challenging.Most importantly, we talk about what actually helps and what genuine healing looks like

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00:27:06

#172 Why the Right Words Aren't Enough: Embodied...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/08/13

You can say all the right words and still leave your partner feeling completely unsafe.If you're the partner who caused harm, that may be the most frustrating thing you've encountered in recovery — you apologized, you said "I understand," you told her you're here, and somehow it still landed wrong. In this episode, Hali explains why your partner isn't responding to your words. She's responding to your body — to whether your presence feels safe or braced, whether

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00:20:44

*** BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: Three Words...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/08/08

What happens when a child no longer has to convince their parent that their pain was real?In this episode of Choosing Different Mini Series, Hali sits down with her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth, for a short, unscripted conversation about one of the most healing things a parent can offer: belief. They talk about the three quiet ways parents unintentionally dismiss a child's experience - through differing memories, good intentions, and simple unawareness - and why none of those things make a

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00:45:15

#171 Elements of Healthy Relationships in Recovery...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/08/06

What does a truly healthy relationship look like after infidelity and betrayal — and is it even possible to get there? In this episode, Hali sits down with Dr. Randi Gray, Licensed Professional Counselor and PhD in Psychology, to break down the real, practical elements of healthy relationships in betrayal recovery.Dr. Gray has spent 12 years specializing in pornography and sex addiction and betrayal trauma, and in this conversation she gets specific — no vague advice, no platitudes. If you've

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00:24:29

***BONUS: Choosing Different Mini Series: The...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/08/01

This is the first episode of the Choosing Different mini-series of conversations between Hali and her two adult daughters, who were both teenagers when their family was in the thick of betrayal and dysfunction. Instead of letting that experience pull them apart, they've been doing the slow, unglamorous work of healing, learning each other again, and trying to break some of the generational patterns they grew up with. They are upfront that they don't have it all figured out. This isn't a

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00:18:01

#170 "Why It Sometimes Gets Worse Before It Gets...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/07/30

You finally know the truth. So why do you feel worse?If you're the betrayed partner and your fear, anger, and grief have grown rather than shrunk since disclosure, the first thing Hali wants you to hear is that there's nothing wrong with you. In this solo episode, Hali explains why it's common for trauma symptoms to temporarily increase after the truth comes out — and why the usual advice to "just talk about your triggers" doesn't go far enough.From there, Hali reframes the

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00:46:22

#169 The Spiritual Intelligence Behind Real Change...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/07/23

When someone betrays a partner and then starts doing "the work," the person who was hurt is left with an exhausting question: is this real, or is he just saying the right things? In this episode, host Hali Roderick is joined by psychologist Dr. Yosi Amram, known for his work on spiritual intelligence, to explore one of the most painful uncertainties in betrayal recovery — the difference between a partner who has genuinely changed and one who is simply performing accountability.Whether

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00:15:56

#168 Apology vs. Amends: Why "I'm Sorry" Isn't Enough...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/07/16

An apology is a moment. Making amends is a process - and confusing the two is one of the most common places betrayal recovery gets stuck.In this solo episode, Hali breaks down the real difference between apologizing and making amends after infidelity and betrayal. An apology expresses remorse, and it often marks where repair begins, but it was never built to carry the full weight of what betrayal breaks. Making amends is something else entirely: a commitment to make things right and to live

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00:42:27

#167 Masculine and Feminine: Why Getting the Balance...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/07/09

There's a dynamic underneath a lot of disconnected relationships that almost nobody names — and when it collapses, it can quietly erode intimacy. In this episode, I'm joined by Tyler Patrick, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and co-host of the Therapy Brothers podcast, to talk about masculine and feminine energy as a relational dynamic — what it is, how it gets out of balance, and what it takes to restore it after infidelity.Whether you're the betrayed partner who had to harden to

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00:40:16

#166 Why Shame Is the Enemy of Accountability — And...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/07/02

One of the biggest obstacles to healing after betrayal isn't a lack of love — it's shame. When the person in recovery floods with shame, they lose the ability to truly listen, hold space, or take accountability. And without that, trust cannot rebuild.In this episode, Hali sits down with Jacob Fletcher, a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT), to talk about what real relational healing requires — and why slowing down is often the fastest path forward.Whether you're the partner

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00:19:22

#165 The Groundhog Day of Disclosure: Why the Same...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/06/25

After betrayal, one of the most exhausting patterns couples hit is what I call the Groundhog Day of disclosure: the betrayed partner asking the same questions again and again, while the partner who caused the harm feels like nothing they say is ever enough. In this episode, we unpack what's actually happening underneath that loop — why the repeated question isn't an interrogation but a nervous system trying to build a floor under itself — and how both partners can survive it without

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00:40:55

#164 The Children in the Room: Navigating Divorce and...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/06/18

When a marriage is in crisis, the conversation almost always centers on the couple. But what about the children sitting in the middle of it?In this episode, certified family law specialist and founder of Bloom Family Law, Katie Padilla, joins us for an honest conversation about what kids actually experience when families fracture — and what parents can do to minimize the damage, whether they choose to stay or leave.If you are a parent in the middle of a family crisis, this episode is for you.About

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00:21:19

#163 Control Isn't Safety: Understanding the...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/06/11

If you've been checking your partner's location for the fifth time in an hour - or waiting for your spouse to hand you a roadmap to your own recovery - this episode is for you.The parent-child dynamic is one of the most common and least talked about patterns that forms after betrayal. It makes complete sense that it develops. And staying in it will cost you both.Enjoyed This Episode?If this conversation resonated with you, here are three ways you can support the show:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review —

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