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PODCAST

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal

Choosing To Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal

Choosing To Stay After Infidelity & Betrayal is a podcast for couples navigating the aftermath of infidelity, betrayal, and broken trust. Whether you’re a betrayed partner making sense of the pain, or the partner who caused harm and wants to repair what was broken, this show offers trauma-informed tools, honest conversations, and grounded hope. Hosted by Hali Roderick, the podcast explores trust repair, emotional regulation, accountability, boundaries, and discernment—without rushing forgiveness

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:13:59

#153 Staying or Leaving After Betrayal — Discernment...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/04/02

After betrayal, one of the most painful questions couples face is: Do we stay… or do we leave?In this episode, we explore why that question feels so urgent after betrayal—and why clarity rarely comes through forcing a decision. This episode is for couples navigating the messy middle—where nothing is fully resolved yet, but healing is still possible.Staying is not a lifetime contract. Leaving is not always immediate clarity. Discernment is a process, not a deadline.Connect With Me + Continue Your

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00:48:41

#152 The Individual Healing That Saved Our Marriage...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/03/26

Today we’re talking about something that can feel counterintuitive when a relationship is in crisis: slowing down and focusing on individual healing first. So many couples rush to fix the relationship, but sometimes the path forward starts with healing me before healing us.I’m honored to be joined by Chance and Crystal, a couple who share their honest and powerful journey of how individual healing became the foundation for rebuilding trust, connection, and safety in their marriage. Together, we

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00:12:35

#151 Why Apologies Aren’t Enough to Heal Betrayal Trauma

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/03/19

Why doesn’t an apology fix betrayal trauma? If you’ve experienced infidelity, pornography addiction, or relational betrayal, you may have heard the words “I’m sorry” over and over… and yet still feel unsafe, unsettled, or unable to move forward.In this episode, we explore a powerful truth:Apologies matter—but they don’t heal betrayal trauma on their own.Betrayal trauma isn’t just an emotional wound. It impacts the nervous system, the body, and your ability to trust what’s real. Healing requires more

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00:15:31

#150 What Accountability Actually Means After...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/03/12

Accountability is one of the most talked-about — and most misunderstood — parts of betrayal recovery.For many couples healing after infidelity or sexual betrayal, the word accountability can feel loaded with fear: punishment, humiliation, endless judgment, or never being able to move forward.But true accountability isn’t about being shamed.It’s about becoming trustworthy again.In this episode of Choosing to Stay, Hali Roderick breaks down what accountability actually means after betrayal trauma,

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00:44:34

#149 The Inner Child Model™: Understanding Pain,...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/03/05

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Eddie Capparucci, a licensed professional counselor and creator of the Inner Child Model™, to explore how emotional regulation, childhood wounds, and nervous system healing play a powerful role in both addiction recovery and betrayal trauma.Dr. Capparucci has spent decades helping individuals and couples understand how unresolved emotional pain from childhood shapes adult coping patterns. Together, we talk about why slowing down, learning to feel, and building

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00:38:50

#148: Don’t Forget the Children: Betrayal Trauma’s...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/02/26

Betrayal trauma is often talked about as a couple’s crisis, but betrayal is never contained to the marriage alone.In this episode, Hali Roderick and her daughter Morgan Ellsworth explore the often-overlooked impact of parental betrayal on children and the entire family system.As professionals in the betrayal trauma field, and as a mother and daughter who have firsthand experience, they invite listeners into an essential conversation on generational healing, witnessing, and family recovery. They

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00:16:11

#147 We’re Both Grieving — But Not the Same Way: How...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/02/19

Grief is one of the most misunderstood parts of betrayal recovery — especially for couples who are choosing to stay.In this episode, Hali Roderick explores how grief shows up differently for betrayed partners and betraying partners, why couples often feel out of sync in the healing process, and how the APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM) helps couples navigate grief in the post-traumatic growth phase.You’ll learn why “parallel grief” is normal, how grief becomes a relational

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00:35:17

#146 Grief After Betrayal: What Men Lose—and Why It...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/02/12

Grief after betrayal is rarely talked about—especially when it comes to men.In this episode, we explore grief after betrayal for men, including men in recovery, men who have caused harm, and men who have betrayed themselves. While grief is often associated with sadness or loss through death, betrayal creates layers of invisible loss that many men carry without language—or permission—to acknowledge.I’m joined by Joseph McKinley who is a Pastor and Recovery Coach at Greenway Recovery as well as a

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00:41:54

#145 Nutrition, Trauma, and Recovery: Using Food as...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/02/05

Today’s conversation sits at the intersection of trauma, recovery, and compassion for the body.Many listeners of Choosing to Stay are navigating betrayal trauma, addiction recovery—either their own or their partner’s—and ongoing nervous system overwhelm. In those seasons, nutrition can either feel like a powerful support… or like one more place we’re falling short.In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. David Wiss, a pioneering mental health nutritionist and Institute for Functional Medicine Certified

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00:23:58

#144 When Love Becomes a Threat: How Betrayal Rewires...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/01/29

After betrayal, many couples believe they’re struggling with communication—but what’s really happening is much deeper. Betrayal doesn’t just break trust; it rewires the nervous system, changing how safety is experienced inside the relationship. In this episode, we explore why conversations feel loaded after betrayal, why small behaviors can feel overwhelming, and how nervous system responses—like defensiveness, shutdown, or hypervigilance—keep couples stuck in painful cycles. You’ll learn why this

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00:43:23

#143 Staying When You’re the Only One Doing the Work...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/01/22

What does it really mean to stay grounded in yourself when you’re the one doing the emotional work in the relationship?In this episode, I’m joined by Tammy Gustafson, MA, LPC—trauma-informed licensed professional counselor, coach, speaker, founder of Betrayal Healing and LiveFree Counseling, host of the annual Betrayal Healing Conference, and author of Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing from Intimate Betrayal.Together, we explore one of the most painful and confusing realities many

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00:14:20

#142 Why Your Body Doesn’t Trust Them Yet (Even If...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/01/15

“One of the most painful places couples get stuck after betrayal is right here: One partner is thinking, ‘We’re okay. Why can’t we move on?’ And the other is thinking, ‘I want to—but my body keeps panicking.’ And both end up wondering what’s wrong with them.In this episode, I want to explain why this disconnect happens—not because someone is resisting healing, but because the nervous system doesn’t work on logic or timelines. If you’ve ever felt frustrated, confused, or ashamed of your body’s

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00:19:23

BONUS Episode Rise, Renew Restore: A Transformative...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/01/10

In this special bonus episode, Hali Roderick is joined by her friends and trusted colleagues Amie Woolsey and Alana Gordon for a shared conversation about the heart, vision, and deeper purpose behind the Rise, Renew, Restore Women’s Retreat in Costa Rica.Together, we explore why this retreat is about so much more than getting away — it’s about creating true nervous-system relief, embodied healing, and a felt sense of safety that many women have been longing for after betrayal, burnout, and chronic

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00:20:28

#141 When “We’re Still Together” Isn’t the Same as...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/01/08

Many couples stay together after infidelity—but staying together isn’t the same as healing.In this episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal, we explore the quiet, often unspoken space many couples live in after betrayal: life looks calmer on the outside, but underneath there’s still tension, disconnection, or a sense of holding your breath.This conversation gently examines how avoidance can masquerade as peace, the difference between rugsweeping and real repair, and the signs that

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00:12:21

#140 Can You Really Heal After Betrayal?

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2026/01/01

Can a relationship really heal after infidelity—or does staying just mean learning how to live with the pain?In this relaunch episode of Choosing To Stay After Infidelity & Betrayal, we’re slowing things down and getting honest about what healing actually requires. Whether you’re the betrayed partner wondering if you’ll ever feel safe again, or the partner who broke trust and wants to repair but doesn’t know how, this episode is an invitation to step out of fear-based decisions and into

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00:32:49

#139 Renewed Commitment — Doing Whatever It Takes to...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/12/25

This episode is one of the early conversations that shaped the heart of this podcast, and we’re bringing it back because its message is just as important today as it was when it first aired. If you’re in the aftermath of betrayal or rebuilding a relationship after broken trust, this episode lays the groundwork for understanding what true repair requires.In this re-released conversation, we explore what a renewed commitment looks like from the unfaithful partner — not in words or promises, but in

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00:27:13

#138 Trauma Triage: What Couples Need in the Early...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/12/18

This special re-release revisits one of the most important conversations from our early episodes — an episode so foundational that we felt it needed to be heard again. If you or your spouse are in the early stages of betrayal trauma, discovery, or relational crisis, this conversation will give you the grounding, clarity, and practical steps you need to begin healing.In this re-released episode, we walk through what we call Trauma Triage — the immediate phase after betrayal when emotions are raw, the

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00:13:24

#137 Looking Back, Looking Forward: A Special Episode...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/12/11

This special episode of Choosing to Stay marks a heartfelt transition and an important moment for our community. Hali and Stephanie sit down for one final conversation as co-hosts to reflect on what this podcast has become, how it has supported so many navigating betrayal trauma and relational healing, and what the future now holds. In this episode, Stephanie gently announces that she is stepping away from hosting as she moves into a new season of life and work. This change flows from clarity,

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00:20:29

#136 Emotional Recovery in Relationship Repair

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/12/04

Stopping destructive behaviors is only the beginning. In recovery after betrayal, many partners achieve behavioral sobriety but struggle with emotional sobriety—the ability to regulate, integrate, and share emotions in real time. In this episode, we’ll break down the psychology of emotional sobriety, how compartmentalization keeps couples stuck, and what moving toward integration looks like for both the betrayed partner and the one seeking recovery.Thank you for tuning in!We’re here to support

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00:23:26

#135 Healing Is the Gift You Give to Yourself (and...

Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal ·

2025/11/28

In this episode, we share a core truth of couples' recovery: healing starts with honoring yourself — and that personal work naturally becomes a gift to your partner, your children, and future generations. Healing isn’t about fixing each other; it’s about becoming grounded, regulated, and emotionally responsible.We talk about how individual healing lowers reactivity, strengthens emotional tolerance, and creates stability at home. Children benefit when parents model accountability, honesty,

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