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PODCAST

Master Your Marriage

Sharla and Robert Snow

The average couple waits 6 years to get help in their marriage. That"s 6 years of pain, hurt, frustration and lost opportunity. This podcast is designed to help you NOT become a part of that statistic. Hosted by Dr. Robert and Sharla Snow — themselves married for 31 years — The Master Your Marriage show is here with straight-talking guidance on how to fill your marriage with fun, friendship and love, without it ever feeling like "hard work." No matter how long you"ve been struggling with your

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

33:34

10 Rules for Taking Breaks and Resetting During...

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/11/14

In this episode, we dive into one of the most powerful tools for conflict resolution in relationships: taking effective breaks. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by an argument or struggled to regain composure during heated moments, this episode is for you. We’ll share ten essential rules for how to take a break during arguments, calm down, and reset effectively—so you can return to your partner with a clear mind and avoid saying things you’ll regret.These actionable strategies are designed to help

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28:59

Mastering Self-Regulation: Reduce Reactivity &...

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/11/07

In this episode, we delve into the concept of reactivity in relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-regulation as a crucial skill for emotional health. We discuss how anxiety manifests in relationships, the contagious nature of anxiety, and the phenomenon of fusion, where individuals become enmeshed in each other's emotional states. We highlight various self-regulation strategies, including movement, journaling, breath work, and self-confrontation, ultimately encouraging listeners to

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27:20

Eliminating Toxic Relationship Patterns

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/10/31

"You can't change what you can't see."In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we explore the concept of the adaptive child and how it influences relationship dynamics. They discuss the importance of self-awareness in recognizing losing strategies and the need for self-confrontation to foster emotional growth. Practical tips are provided for navigating different relationship quadrants, emphasizing the significance of healthy boundaries and the necessity of breaking destructive patterns to achieve a

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32:58

Identifying Dysfunctional Patterns in Marriage:...

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/10/24

In this episode, we explore how to identify and end dysfunctional patterns in marriage that hinder intimacy. We introduce the relationship grid, which helps couples understand their behaviors and reactions when triggered. The discussion covers the importance of self-esteem and boundaries, leading to an exploration of four quadrants that represent different relationship dynamics. By recognizing where they fall within these quadrants, couples can work towards healing and improving their

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30:00

Strong Boundaries, Stronger Relationships: Mastering...

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/10/17

In this episode, we explore the concept of boundaries in relationships, focusing on both physical and psychological boundaries. The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding and establishing healthy boundaries to foster intimacy and connection while avoiding the pitfalls of being boundaryless or overly walled off. Practical strategies for implementing boundaries in daily life are provided, along with a guided meditation to help listeners visualize and strengthen their personal

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30:16

The Self-Esteem Dilemma: Mastering Intimacy Part 2

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/10/09

"You can't love someone else unless you love yourself."In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we explore the profound connection between self-love and relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-esteem in fostering intimacy. We introduce a reactive behavior map to help listeners understand their own and their partner's behaviors during conflicts. The discussion delves into the distortions of self-esteem, highlighting the one-up and one-down positions that can hinder healthy relationships

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30:48

Why We Lose It: Triggers & Barriers to Intimacy-...

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/10/02

In this episode, we explore the concept of the adaptive child and how it influences our reactions during relationship conflicts. We discuss the importance of self-confrontation and self-reflection as foundational elements for intimacy. The conversation delves into the impact of past traumas on present behaviors, the necessity of recognizing when the adaptive child takes over, and strategies for shifting back to the wise adult. Techniques for self-regulation and the role of journaling in personal

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26:14

Half In, Half Out: The Damage of Not Fully Choosing...

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/09/26

In this conversation, we delve into the detrimental effects of indecision in relationships, particularly in marriage. It explores how anxiety and the pursuit of perfection can lead to paralysis in decision-making, ultimately impacting personal and relational growth. We emphasize the importance of recognizing the finite nature of human existence, the fear of regret that underlies indecision, and the necessity of taking action after making choices. We advocate for embracing mistakes as part of the

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26:24

Losing Relationship Strategies #7: Withdrawal

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/09/19

"Withdrawal can slowly destroy connection."In this episode, we discuss the concept of withdrawal in relationships, exploring how it manifests and the dangers it poses to emotional connection. We delve into the difference between withdrawal and mature acceptance, emphasizing the importance of communication and responsible distance-taking. The conversation highlights the detrimental effects of apathy and isolation and concludes with strategies for couples to recognize and address their own losing

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29:28

Losing Relationship Strategies #6: Defensiveness

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/09/12

"Defense is the first act of war."Defensiveness is a corrosive behavior that goes against the purpose of marriage, which is personal growth. It is non-accountability, anti-growth, and unrepentant. Dr. John Gottman identified defensiveness as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which predicts divorce. Defensiveness prevents true intimacy and creates a barrier to growth. The antidote to defensiveness is taking responsibility and being open to feedback. By facing ourselves and making positive

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27:29

Destructive Pattern #5 Unvirtuous Sacrifice &...

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/09/05

Is sacrifice no longer a virtue?In this episode, we discuss the concept of resentful accommodation in marriage. We explore the idea that sacrifice is often seen as a virtue in relationships, but there is a point where sacrifice can become unvirtuous and detrimental to the relationship. What's the difference between virtuous sacrifice, which benefits everyone involved, and unvirtuous sacrifice, which is done to avoid discomfort or gain approval? We share personal examples of resentful accommodation

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25:12

Destructive Pattern #4: Retaliation or Punishment

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/08/28

"Retaliation is trying to cause the same emotion in the other person that you're feeling."In this episode, we discuss the destructive pattern of retaliation and punishment in relationships. We explore the different forms of retaliation, including direct and indirect, and how it can harm the connection between partners. We know the importance of recognizing and confronting the urge to retaliate, as it often stems from feeling justified and victimized. We encourage listeners to commit to non-violent

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24:43

Destructive Pattern #3: Unbridled Expression

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/08/21

"Contempt is the most destructive of all negative behaviors in relationships."In this episode of the Master Your Marriage podcast, we discuss destructive pattern number three: unbridled expression. We explore the negative impact of expressing every thought and emotion without restraint, and how it can lead to hurtful and damaging behavior in relationships. We also delve into the concept of contempt as a form of unbridled expression, highlighting its corrosive effects on a marriage. The episode

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35:10

Destructive Patterns, Strategy #2: Controlling Our...

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/08/14

"Control isn't real. It's an illusion... Each of us has this fundamental need for autonomy."In this episode, we discuss the destructive pattern of controlling others in relationships. Controlling behavior is often a result of managing our own anxieties and insecurities. They provide examples of overt and covert control tactics, such as criticism, blame, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation. The hosts emphasize that control is an illusion and that it damages trust, intimacy, and

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25:02

Destructive Pattern #1: The Need To Be Right

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/08/07

In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we discuss the destructive pattern of needing to be right in relationships. They explain that this pattern can lead to disconnection and alienation from others. The hosts explore how the need to be right shows up in sneaky ways, such as collecting evidence to prove one's perspective, acting morally superior, and convincing oneself that it's for the greater good. We emphasize the importance of looking within and examining our own behaviors, as well as the need

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28:41

The Courage to Look Within: Healing Our Marriage

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/07/31

The quality of relationships is the best predictor of overall life satisfaction. Happiness in marriage is not about luck or finding a soulmate, but about seeking wisdom and personal growth. Marriage exposes our limitations and immaturities, providing an opportunity for development and maturity. Psychological maturity requires developing a sense of self and living according to our values. As children, we borrow our sense of self from our parents, but as adults, we need to grow ourselves up

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18:52

The Power of Choice in Relationships

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/07/25

Why are you choosing to stay in your current relationship or marriage?Today, we’re diving deep into a topic that can truly transform your relationship: The Power of Choice. We’ll explore how making conscious decisions can strengthen your bond and bring out the best in both you and your partner. So, get ready to discover why choosing into your relationship every day is the key to its success.Key Takeaways:The Importance of Choice in Relationships;Understanding Autonomy and Its Impact;Daily Choices

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01:09:38

Why Treating Your Marriage Like a Business Could Save It

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/07/17

Welcome back to another transformative episode of Master Your Marriage! This week, we're thrilled to have fellow marriage mentors, Kevin and Michelle Davis. They bring a wealth of experience and wisdom, particularly from their unique backgrounds in dealing with the challenges of coming from divorced families. Kevin hosts the popular podcast, "Maxed Out Man," where he empowers men to excel in all aspects of life, starting with their relationships. Join us as we dive deep into the crucial topics of

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01:29:51

Sex Hormones, Emotional Resilience & Love Potions...

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/07/10

What do sex hormones and emotional regulation have to do with ice bathing? As research suggests, both may be modulated by deliberate cold exposure, and therefore a possible strategy for couples to improve intimacy Thomas Seager, a PhD in civil and environmental engineering, shares his journey into researching deliberate cold exposure and its impact on health. He discusses the importance of individual health and the need for people to take charge of their own well-being. Thomas also shares personal

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34:58

The power of values in relationships

Master Your Marriage ·

2024/07/03

Hey everyone, it’s Sharla and Robert! We’re thrilled to celebrate our 74th episode of Master Your Marriage! If you’re new here, hit subscribe so you don’t miss out. For our loyal listeners, thanks for the love! Don’t forget to leave a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review!Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionThis Episode’s Highlights:Robert’s Career Revelation: Robert

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