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PODCAST

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide

Cas Roland, Jude Furlong

Welcome to the Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide! Join Jude and Cas, two amateur experts in cryptozoology, as they navigate bizarre tales of creepy creatures and things that go bump in the night. The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide is a great podcast for beginners who know nothing about cryptids and don"t want to learn anything particularly useful about them either! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

comedy comedy fiction

All Episodes

01:04:09

Somebody Hates Riotous Orgies

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/11/04

This Week: The Lone Pine Mountain Devil! Imagine: you're on a mountain hike, ready to settle into your campground for the night, and then you're suddenly attacked by some horrid, winged thing! Watch out if you've got PG-13 plans on the Lone Pine Mountain, because this bad boy answers the question "what if school chaperones were inconsolably violent and generally horrifying?" Today's topics: Snow in Nevada; Dinosaurs; A wild night gone terribly wrong; Hoaxes of the 2010s; Pangaea; A treasure trove

en

01:03:41

My Big, Antarctic Boyfriend

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/10/28

This week: The Ningen! It's so cold down in the antarctic! Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to snuggle up by a fire with? Or, better yet, a 100 foot-long unknown blubbery creature? Move over, Captain Ahab, this white whale is OUR boy now. Today's topics: Belugas; Cryptid romance novels; Grilled cheese and human sacrifices; Snorkeling; Kurt Russel; Thomas Jefferson's chest of bones; How big are whales?

en

01:03:53

This is Your Bigfoot on Drugs

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/10/21

This Week: Wood Devils! Oh, god. This one is. This one is horrifying. Have you been sleeping TOO many hours and had TOO many days not living in fear of some terrifying, lanky forest creature? Don't worry, this will fix all of that. For good. Today's topics: The worst of the cryprid knock-offs; The Uncanny Valley; Sometimes smiles aren't comforting; True Crime; Fake cryprid reports; OK, grandpa bigfoot; Drugs.

en

01:07:50

We Can't Legally Call it Sharktopus

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/10/14

This week: The Lusca! It's a giant octopus, or maybe a shark, or maybe a giant eel, or maybe a jellyfish! Or maybe it's just a giant glob of whale fat! Who knows! Whatever it is, we investigate the tale of the Lusca in the Bahamas, so grab your snorkels and watch out, because this boy's coming in for a swim! Today's topics: Globsters; Box jellyfish; Snorkeling; Dunking on the History Channel; Pranking cryptid hunters; We love a good octopus; Science class; How fast can you swim?

en

01:04:24

(Giant) Turtles All the Way Down

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/10/07

This week: The Beast of Busco! What's better than a turtle? A really, REALLY big turtle! This week, we dive into the story of Oscar, the sweetest, biggest turtle you ever did see! Today's topics: What IS a Hoosier; Cas's snapping turtle story; Reptile voting rights; Turtle racing; What Would You Do: Horror Edition; Lake crimes (someone's committing them); Cloacas.

en

01:03:29

While My Squonk Gently Weeps

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/09/30

This week: The Squonk! Get ready, folks, because this one's a tear jerker. This week, we investigate a tiny, wart-covered little dude who's been living in the wilderness, hiding from Pennsylvanians...and his own self-image. Today's topics: Magical tears (not the fun kind); Please don't go hunting cryptids; Minnesotans; The field of chemistry; The most horrifying play Cas has ever heard of; Body positivity; Pop culture; A HORRIFYING toad.

en

01:05:47

Owls Go to Church, Too!

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/09/23

This Week: The Owlman! We've got a hoo-hoorrifying new British cryptid for you this week! Want some more not-quite Mothman content, occult monster-summoning rituals, and zany tales centered around a creepy old church? This is the episode for you! Today's topics: Let's get Fortean; An artist, a writer, and a magician (they're all the same person); Legendary cryptozoologist beef; The Lost Tapes, revisited; Barely avoiding plagarism; Mothman's overseas ex.

en

01:00:19

Soft Fuzzy (drunk) Man

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/09/16

This Week: The Bat Beast of Kent! It's our first international cryptid! This week, we travel across the pond to the UK to investigate a horrifying, headless creature that scared the pants off some partying teens. Today's Topics: Listen to our terrible British accents; Jude finally gets to talk about UFOs; Cas accidentally talks about Scientology; The cryptid stories you DON'T hear about; The big bat's toy empire; Monster High.

en

01:01:10

We Have Mothman at Home

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/09/09

This week: Batsquatch! He's winged, he's wild...he's definitely not the cryptid Cas was hoping to cover. This week, we travel to the pacific Northwest to investigate a (non-bigfoot) sasquatch who's tearing up the town and making his mark on everyone he meets. Today's topics: The first (of many) cryptid beers; Rabies; Religion; Priscilla, the prized county fair pig; Legitimate bat safety tips; The most eligible cryptid bachelor since Mothman.

en

01:04:15

The Bathtub Boys

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/09/02

This week: The Hopkinsville Goblins! It's the little green men! This week, we investigate a rowdy group of tiny aliens who wrecked one Kentucky family's evening and ran off into the night with our hearts in tow. These short, top-heavy idiots are staples of the world of UFOs, aliens, and (if Eberhardt isn't around) cryptids. Today's topics: The worst game of cards ever; PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not shoot at creatures outside your home; Pokémon; The righteous punch; Let the puppets kiss; UFO

en

01:00:36

The Diet Soda of Lake Monsters

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/08/26

This week: Pepie! This week, we investigate the Lake Pepin Monster that has a special place in the heart of Lake City, MN and whatever place Jude stores his deepest hatred. Meanwhile, Cas is just happy that out of the 11,842 lakes in their home state, they've finally found one with a "real" monster in it. Today's Topics: Minnesota's cryptid shortage; Invasive species; We hate problematic storytelling; The "duck, duck, grey duck" controversy; Swedish monsters; Minnie, the fake lake creature.

en

01:01:15

Oops, There's a National Conspiracy Here!

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/08/19

This week: The Ozark Howler! Have you been longing for some national conspiracy? Is there a certain level of political hijinks the other cryptids have been missing? Well, you're in luck! From witches to national conspiracies to time travel, this cryptid has everything you're looking for. Today's topics: Cas thought jackalopes were real; Don't plant cedar trees in the Ozarks; Secret societies; Presidential mishappenings; Please don't murder us, secret society.

en

01:05:16

Head Dover Heels

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/08/12

This week: The Dover Demon! He's just a funny little guy! This week, we investigate the Dover Demon, a funky little alien thing that took Massachusetts (and maybe the world) by storm. Watch out, Wall Street, we're sending him to business school as soon as we can find and adopt him. (What happened to episode 7? Don't worry about it!) Today's topics: Witness credibility; The stock market; Cas's six wild theories; "The Lost Tapes"; Mushrooms; Don't go running into creepy forests.

en

01:03:28

Cryptozoologists Don't Know Latin

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/08/05

This week: The Alkali Lake Monster! It's our first lake monster! This week, we investigate a giant, stinky, horned monster living in Nebraska's Walgren Lake! Today's Topics: Some lakes are gross; We don't understand Nebraska slang; Creationist conspiracies; Cryptid marketing strategies; Ireland; Jude starts a cult.

en

01:02:47

Someone Didn't Skip Leg Day

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/07/29

This week: The Enfield Horror! Who's knocking on my door? A horrible little gremlin! This week, Cas and Jude investigate the Enfield Horror of Enfield, Illinois, which left some shredded shoes, one man's broken sanity, and a few articles about social hysteria in its wake. Today's topics: Strange sightings at night; Childish pranks on neighbors; Horror movies (Cas hates them); The field of sociology; There's more than one Enfield; The "Tim Tam Slam."

en

01:05:53

Just the Stinkiest Boy

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/07/22

This week: The Skunk Ape! Get ready for the second installment in our two-part series "I Can't Believe it's not Bigfoot!" Today, we take a look at the Fouke Monster's older (and much, much smellier) cousin lurking in the swamps of Florida. Today's topics: The Jane Goodall of the Everglades; The bad kind of smile; Cas's bizarre bog adventure; Poor personal hygiene; Unusual shaving techniques; The chemistry of musk.

en

01:06:15

Fouke Around and Find Out

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/07/15

This week: The Fouke Monster! This week, Cas and Jude take a trip down to Arkansas to investigate the Boggy Creek Monster (a.k.a. the Fouke Monster), a Southern-style bigfoot that has become quite the legend. Today's topics: What IS a bog?; Bad horror movies; Sasquatch tinder; Please don't shoot at monsters; Kevin Bacon; F***, Marry, Kill: Bigfoot Edition.

en

00:59:41

Here Come the Pants People

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/07/08

This Week: The Fresno Nightcrawlers! This week, we discuss a pair of unidentified beings (who look an awful lot like pairs of pants) that were caught wandering around Fresno, California. Today's topics: power walking; fashion; mushrooms that defy the rules of veganism; what counts as a cryptid; the devil.

en

01:04:54

Congrats! It's a worm

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2020/07/01

This week: Sinkhole Sam! In the podcast's inaugural episode, we discuss a 15 foot-long worm monster living in Inman, Kansas! Today's topics: An introduction; we lament days of radio shows past; Cas accuses Kansas of lake crimes; Jude calls out a very fake-sounding cryptozoologist; the bobbit worm; foopengerkles.

en

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