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PODCAST

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

I’m Anna Runkle, also known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, and I teach people to recognize and heal the symptoms of Childhood PTSD. Welcome to my podcast!I’m not a doctor or therapist; I know about childhood trauma because I lived it, and I discovered a radical approach to healing that focuses first on calming neurological dysregulation, which is common in people who grew up with abuse and neglect. In my podcasts, I teach about dysregulation – how to know if you have it, what it can do to

education self-improvement

All Episodes

24:56

What to Say to Doctors Who Don't Understand Childhood...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/11/08

The long-term effects of trauma on virtually every aspect of health has been well known for more than 20 years. But still, few clinical professionals understand the broad effects of trauma or which treatments have been shown to be effective. The result includes lack of appropriate treatment, missed diagnoses, innaccurate diagnoses, and shaming of people with a clear pattern of symptoms by clinicians see only their own assumptions about their patients. I provide tools to help educate your

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128:34

How Good Boundaries Set You Free to Enjoy Your...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/11/06

Many of us who grew up in dysfunctional families struggle to recognize or create boundaries that work. You may be fed up with people who ignore your stated boundaries, or you fear setting any boundaries at all, fearing people will find you controlling, and avoid you. In this "best of" compilation I teach about what a boundary is, how bounadaries can be confused with controlling others, or avoiding discomfort, and why setting healthy boundaries sets you free to enjoy your relationships. Take

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19:25

Their Behavior Generates Insecurity And Obsession In YOU

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/11/03

When you date a Love Addict, YOU become their drug. At first they can make you feel like the most special, beautiful person, and all the pain and loneliness in your life was for a reason, because NOW, finally, you real true love has come along. Love addicts LOVE the feeling of being that for you. But they can't sustain it, and that's why dating them is such a roller coaster of highs when they love you, and lows when they totally disappear. The horrible thing about love addiction is that is

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22:16

Neglect In Childhood Primes You to Eroticize Abandonment

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/11/02

When your parents didn’t love you properly, the feeling of falling in love is often followed by a dramatic lapse into insecurity. When they pull away it has a spooky, deep emotional power for you. And it’s very easy to confuse that dark feeling with something it most definitely is NOT... LOVE. In fact, people in a state of limerence often say they are "confused," though it's easy to see from the outside that the confusion is between the reality they WANT to see, and the disappointing TRUTH

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18:21

Some People Feel Betrayed When YOU Heal Your Trauma

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/10/30

Many people in your life really do want the best for you, but there are others who act as if you've done a terrible thing by working on your trauma. It's as if they want and need you to stay hurt and victimized, basically forever. They’re not always even conscious of what they’re doing, but you can sure feel it. They'll make criticisms disguised as "help": When you make positive changes, they warn you about trouble ahead, as if they just want to knock you down a peg. You DON'T need to be

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76:02

Childhood Neglect And The Feeling That You Can Never...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/10/27

Childhood PTSD is, in essence, an injury to the ability to connect with other people. So it's no surprise that abuse and neglect in your childhood may have left you with a feeling that no matter what you do, you never quite belong in groups. In this "best of" compilation, I share videos that will help you understand that the feeling of being an outside is not a quirk of yours, or a failing. It's a feeling (and an experience) that is common for traumatized people, and with practice, it can

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21:47

If You "Throw" Love At Unavailable People, It Could...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/10/25

People neglected as children sometimes spend their WHOLE life longing or love – chasing it, fighting for it, longing for it, and never having it, all because of this -- an attraction to unavailable people. This includes people who are married and can’t really be with you (but string you along), or people who flat out aren’t into you. Yet your wounds from childhood make you the PERFECT person to give all your energy, love and self-esteem to them, basically for free. In this video I respond

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13:28

How to Set Boundaries When They're Obsessed With...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/10/19

Ever get the feeling you're just an accessory for a friend who is romantically obsessed? They WANT to hang out with you, and they love to tell you about the emotional rollercoaster of their latest romance. But what do you do when you realize they don't really see you or hear you or care about you. To them, you’re an instrument for them, to get what they want. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who has watched her friend cycle through obsession after obsession -- and who wants

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26:21

When Too Many Bad Things Happen At Once, DO THIS To...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/10/16

There are times in your life when so many bad things happen at once, that you go into what I call a "trauma storm." The shock to your nervous system of those traumatic events is so overwhelming, that you lose your normal structures and habits that allow you get through hard times, and instead you just kind of slip into crisis mode: You can’t function, your daily routine is all over the place, your mental stability is in jeopardy, and you're emotional, exhausted, and in danger of pushing

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97:02

Why You Didn't See The Red Flags

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/10/15

When you're first dating someone, it can be easy ONLY to see what you love about them. If you grew up with abuse or neglect, you may have a blind spot where obvious signs of trouble are waving in your face, and the cost to your happiness can be devastating. In this "best of" compilation I include videos about some of the WORST partners out there -- and why we choose them, and why it's SO hard to leave. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or

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16:21

Why You Fall For Unavailable People

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/10/11

The need for love and security is SO strong that some people will do *anything* to feel like they’re in a relationship. If you attach to people you know are unavailable, and then structure your life around that person -- your hopes and plans -- hoping to preserve the feeling that they really are THE ONE, it's important you watch this video. I respond to a letter from a woman who hopes that by loving someone unconditionally, she can win their love in return. Signs You are in a Codependent

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30:54

When You Can't Understand Why You KEEP Making...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/10/06

It’s normal for people who were traumatized as children to be drawn to people who are trouble. Maybe feel foggy when you meet someone you feel attracted to, or you rush into relationships, and you ignore signs that getting together with this person is a really bad idea. It's normal for people with CPTSD to feel confused when they are confronted with evidence that someone would be bad for you; it's as if your brain shuts down and then you make the destructive decision to go forward anyway

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24:33

The Real Story of Why I Quit Talk Therapy

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/10/02

If you seek help for the symptoms of Complex CPTSD, you will generally be steered toward talk therapy, and often, medication. But these two standard modes of treatment may not be will targeted for trauma symptoms. In my case, they made me worse, not better. In this video I share an excerpt from one of my most popular videos, "Why I Quit Therapy," to explain what it was like for me, the reasons we NOW know therapy doesn't work for many traumatized people, and what DOES work. Try the FREE

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153:22

Neglect in Childhood Taught You to FIT Yourself to...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/10/01

If your parents harmed you when you were small, you may have developed a coping mechanism that allowed you to accept mistreatment; you learned to just "make it OK" in your mind. But when this gets carried into adulthood, it becomes a maladaptation I call Crapfit. In this "best of" compilation, I share lessons and letters from people with CPTSD who are fitting themselves to horrible partners, jobs and friendships. Hear my advice for setting new and higher standards yourself, and stopping the

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16:10

How to Take Space From Difficult People FOR NOW...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/09/29

Getting distance from your family of origin can be a powerful way to accelerate your healing from past trauma. You may be clear you want it to be permanent. But if you're feeling guilty and unsure if you should do it, there's a way to take space for as long as you need -- without drama, without debate, and without committing to a permanent boundary. You get to decide, one day, or one year at a time. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who suspects she needs to end contact with

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22:29

Expecting New Partners to "Meet Your Needs" Will Push...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/09/27

People neglected and abused in childhood are prone to fantasize about the perfect person and perfect love. But this habit can separate you from the chance to have a real relationship with someone who loves you. The unmet needs of your childhood can't be met by a partner, and your hunger for validation and unconditional love can be a turnoff in an early dating relationship. In this video I respond to a man who has been single for more than a decade since his divorce, and is close to giving

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21:21

Hiding Others' Abusive Acts Desensitizes You: That's...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/09/26

It's as if there is a veil of unconsciousness that prevents us from remembering or telling the truth about sexual abuse -- or acting to defend abused children when we know abuse is happening. In this video, I talk about the first time I ever lied about being abused. For many people, covering for abusers (so we don't get abandoned, attacked, fired or cancelled) becomes so habitual we are desensitized to it. We stay silent, and say only what you're supposed to say. This is one reason why the

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159:46

Neglect in Your Childhood Trained You to Pretend...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/09/24

If your parents made it a problem that you needed their love and attention, you may have have internalized the belief that there's something wrong and dirty and shameful about you and your feelings. In families where the expectation of loyalty and honesty only created horrible arguments, you may have trained yourself not to need loyalty and honesty -- not to expect much -- and to never admit that you long for someone to love you and commit to you. What tends to happen with these damaged

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14:33

Feeling Manipulated & Discarded Is Your Sign to Get Away

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/09/22

When you didn’t get cared for properly when you were little, it’s hard to READ other people – to detect the difference between a friend and someone merely being friendly. So many of us NEED a friend so badly, there’s pressure on the relationship from the beginning to believe it will work. And when it doesn’t, it can feel devastating. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman whose new friend seems more interested in using her as a stepping stone to more friends; now our letter writer

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12:40

"Fawning" Is A Trauma Response That Leaves You...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2023/09/20

Fawning is when you make yourself small, or act "nice" and like you're not hurt, as a way to cope with mistreatment. It's a fantasy that by being selfless, kind and helpful, you can make bad people be kind to you. It’s a common pattern for traumatized people that can keep old trauma wounds active, and keep you from healing. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who keeps finding herself with hurtful, hateful people, and is ready to change her pattern. Try the FREE Daily Practice

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