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PODCAST

The UnMothered Podcast

Phylis Mantelli

When life gives you a toxic mother, what do you do? You listen, learn, and change your direction! I’m Phylis Mantelli, author of the book “UnMothered: Life With A Mom Who Couldn’t Love Me.” This podcast is a place for mentoring and encouragement as we navigate the complexities of toxic parent relationships. Join me as I share my journey and invite God-filled guests to discuss emotional healing, overcoming childhood trauma, and personal growth. Together, we"ll explore new thoughts and patterns to

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

21:05

Breaking Free From Generational Marriage Roles |...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/10/21

Do you do things in your marriage because it’s what you saw growing up or are you doing things differently because of seeing it go wrong for your parents?So many times we inadvertently do the traditional roles like our parents did. Even if those things are unhealthy, how do we know how to do it differently? Will it blow up in our faces if we ask for what we want in this relationship?These are things we should be talking about before we walk down the aisle, but if we haven’t, it’s not too late, in

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28:22

It Is Okay To Be Sad But Why Do People Keep Rushing...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/10/14

Something that’s weighed heavy on my mind lately, is the subject of grief or sadness and how most people are so uncomfortable sitting with themselves and others through it. How do we get to where we are not rushed through this journey? We will all experience loss, sadness, and grief in our lifetime. Let’s get better at understanding it and helping others to feel loved and heard when it happens.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group:

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31:42

Breaking Free From The Lies Of Rejection with Jessica...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/10/07

In this episode, we chatted with Jessica Van Roekel about rejection and how it seeps into our childhoods and adult lives. What happens when you start believing the lies that rejection can bring? And what does God want you to feel about rejection? Listen in as we discuss how it can affect friendships, careers, and the lens of how we see others.Jessica Van Roekel loves the upside-down life of following Jesus as she journeys to wholeness through brokenness. As an author, speaker, and worship pastor,

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38:46

Recognizing You’re Not Alone With A Dysfunctional Mom...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/09/30

This episode is so special to me because Kristi Lowe is on the podcast. She shares her unmothered story with others to help share that you are not alone in your mommy issues.Kristi is a Christian author and speaker and hosts the Even If Podcast. She knows life rarely goes according to plan, family dynamics are complicated, and mental health is no joke. She lives in Lubbock, Texas with her family and rescue dogs. I’m so excited to have another woman sharing her unmothered story with us!Follow her on

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37:51

How To Acknowledge Your Mental Health Battles with...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/09/23

I was so excited to talk with my new friend Kim Hardy today. This episode dives deep into mental health and how to recognize the incorrect narratives we have for ourselves. She is an author and speaker passionate about giving women hope through Biblical truth. She seeks to inspire, renew, and restore hurting women so they can thrive and live joy-filled lives. Kim loves to read, write, and spend time outdoors. She is married to her knight in shining armor who keeps her laughing.I hope you enjoyed

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31:24

How To Handle Your Toxic Mom & Her Relationship As A...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/09/16

This week's episode came as an anonymous request through my weekly newsletter, Tuesday Talks With Phylis (link in bio to sign up or head to my website!).Let’s talk about the do’s and don’ts of letting our children be a part of our mothers’ lives and what do you do when your toxic mom wants to be a part of your children’s lives?Can we let them have a relationship with their grandchildren even though we have a dysfunctional one? If there is a special relationship that your mom has with her

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34:35

Pastor’s Wife, People-Pleasing, and Mother Issues...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/09/09

We talked with Cheryl Lutz today about being a pastor’s wife, being a recovering people pleaser, and some of her own mother's issues.Cheryl Lutz is an inspirational speaker, certified biblical counselor, Bible teacher, and podcast host. She is likewise the author of Securely Held: Finding Significance and Security in the Shelter of God’s Embrace, the 2024 1st place Selah award winner in the Christian Life category.Her mission is to assist Christian women in breaking the power of others; opinions and

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23:26

But It’s Your Family: When Should You Stop That...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/09/02

Part of breaking generational dysfunction is to stop allowing the excuse of, “But it’s your family.”When do we stick by family because it’s family, and when do we have to decide on something better? Over the years I’ve come to a realization that loving families show up and it’s a safe place, not a place that makes you more miserable when you are around them.Knowing that unless THEY (your mom or family member) want to repent and change AND show that difference over time, you are not required to “hang

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30:26

How Your Past Can Affect Your Emotional Eating With...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/08/26

I had the pleasure to interview my good friend Christine Trimpe on the podcast today! She told her origin story of how this journey of being an author, speaker, and coach began.Her story starts with a mountain she wanted to climb but couldn’t because of her weight. From struggling with debilitating sleep patterns to a multitude of health issues, she knew something needed to change. When she started diving into her faith more not only did her weight improve but her emotional health did as

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20:47

Overcoming Toxic Childhood Narratives That Shape Us |...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/08/19

Can the things that were said to you as a child create a negative narrative as you become an adult?When I was watching the show Bridgerton on Netflix, the plot of the series stood out to me. The son had always held a narrative over his head because of actions or words that were said to him when he was younger. There is no need to have held a spot in your body and mind that has made you make decisions that could negatively impact your life.We need to be able to slush out information that no longer

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28:37

An Emotionally Immature Mom vs. A Narcissistic Mom;...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/08/12

Over the past few years, I’ve been studying the different types of toxic moms. Imagine my surprise when I started studying about toxic parenting and realized my mom was emotionally immature AND narcissistic!I never knew what to expect from my mom from one day to the next. It was exhausting trying to figure it all out. It made so much sense, but also it hurt to see that her characteristics were so manipulative.As I look through each of these problems, I have a story to match each of them. I bet you

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26:33

Do Past Triggers Keep You Stuck From Moving Forward?...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/08/05

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that you can self-sabotage by letting your triggers control you.Let’s talk about the everyday life habits that may keep you stuck negatively. Are you allowing your scared feelings to control you and prevent you from becoming the confident, strong woman you are meant to be? How can we find some ways to slowly change our thinking patterns so we can start living life in a positive view?I’m all for recognizing when something feels “off”, but I’m also aware of

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24:52

Most Downloaded Episode Series | Should You Heal The...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/07/29

How do we find the heart to heal those who have hurt us? We will explore what it means to forgive people who hurt you deeply. Do you need to forgive them? Should you? What does that look like? Let’s talk about this.I was asked in my private Facebook group of my Unmothered women, what to do when they are having a hard time wanting to heal a relationship with their mom and sometimes with their siblings. This can be a tricky, touchy subject. I want to be sure we are always doing something that will

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21:08

Most Downloaded Episode Series | Your Mother's Issues...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/07/22

As I was channel surfing I stopped on The Bachelorette. I never watch this show anymore, but of course, I was curious! I swear God wanted me to hear this, Gabby Windey was on a date and they were talking about family.His parents had been married forever and loved each other fiercely. She started telling him about her fractured relationship with her mom! How when she graduated her mother wrote her off …she started to cry..it broke my heart. She excused herself and was crying to the producers. They

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27:06

Most Downloaded Episodes | How Can You Identify And...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/07/15

Most women don’t even acknowledge that their mom is a narcissist or may be toxic.In order to start your healing journey, you have to NAME the pain that has been done to you in your childhood.And I want to note, I’m not giving out professional advice! Apart from being a certified coach, I am not a doctor or therapist, so please take this as my personal opinion and as my own personal experience in this matter.However, I have studied ways to recognize if your mom may be a narcissist:She has to have

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38:10

Most Downloaded Episodes | What Are Some Signs And...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/07/08

Let’s dig into a deeper conversation about some signs and qualities that I’ve started to notice about people with narcissistic tendencies. A big question we must ask is, where it comes from (possibly) and what are some signs of things you yourself may be suffering from being around or living with a person who is narcissistic.Upon my reading and studying, I’ve come across a few signs that show your mother might be narcissistic.Explosive or extreme angerCompulsive or inhibited sexualityExtreme shame,

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19:16

Most Downloaded Episodes | The Truth About Growing Up...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/07/01

Hi peeps! We are taking July off and decided to re-publish our most downloaded episodes for you to listen to! We will be back in August with new episodes and don't forget to follow me over on Instagram to keep up.What was it like growing up in your home?In my home, I felt like I was constantly dealing with a teenager or even a child. While at the time I just thought this was ‘normal’ I later understood that it wasn’t. When you grow up with a parent who is emotionally immature and can’t be the adult

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27:44

Sharing About The Marks That Made Her : A...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/06/24

Dr. Michelle Bengtson is an international speaker, a national and international media resource on mental health, and the bestselling, award-winning author of Hope Prevails, the Hope Prevails Bible Study, Today Is Going to Be a Good Day, Breaking Anxiety's Grip, and The Hem of His Garment. She is also the host of the award-winning podcast Your Hope-Filled Perspective. A board-certified clinical neuropsychologist in private practice for more than twenty years, Dr. Bengtson blogs regularly and offers a

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21:11

Does Having A Diploma Make You Smarter Than An...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/06/17

As we watch young adults graduate from high school and college, the question comes up again; does having a diploma make you smarter and more successful?Can you maneuver through the world without schooling? And can different types of education or life skills can help you thrive?I always have mixed feelings at this time of year. So many emotions have played into my skilled learning and how the education I have currently taken has made such a difference in my life. That, however, has not always been

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20:21

Stay At Home Moms vs. The Working Moms | Episode 68

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/06/10

Given the passionate social media opinions about the Harrison Butker speech, I thought this would be a great conversation to have with you all, being that it is about motherhood.It’s the age-old debate: are we more fulfilled being a mother, or are our careers more important than staying at home? Let’s talk about the stay at home mom being the most rewarding job on earth (or so he said).Every woman has worth.Can we please stop saying one thing is more glorious than the other? We don’t know people’s

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