Pointless Global News

On today’s show, we’ll tell you about the different ways other animal species poop, because we all need to know, right? Then, we’ll go to Germany, where a brand new firehouse burned to the ground. I'll tell you the awesomely stupid reason why. Next, a cop in Georgia calls for backup, so he can whine about his botched order at the local Burger King. Finally, I’ll tell you about the young man in northern Greece, who breaks into backyards in the middle of the night to smell your shoes.

In this maiden voyage episode of Pointless Global News, first I'll report on a knife fight at a nursing home over some canned meat. Next, you'll learn about the business juggernaut that is Rat Taxidermy. Imagine frozen dead rats turned into showgirls, it's totally awesome! Then, the Governor of Massachusetts steps in, to save Gibi The Diva Beaver. Finally, a Brazilian man gives us the 411 on his penis enlargement procedure.