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PODCAST

Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy

Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

42:01

165. Ultimatums

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/11/02

It’s reasonable to have hopes, wishes, and desires in any relationship. However, trying to coerce, cajole, or threaten your partner into getting what you want is never the solution. Whether you feel pulled to issue your infidelity partner an ultimatum, or find yourself on the receiving end of one, this episode covers both sides of the coin. Join me this week to hear what you must recognize if you are thinking about issuing an ultimatum and how to navigate receiving an ultimatum in your affair

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45:44

164. Cheating On Your Affair Partner

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/10/26

Are you worried about cheating on your affair partner? Is that even possible? This is a real dilemma that my clients bring up, so if you can relate, you are definitely not alone. What counts as cheating in this scenario can vary from person to person. However, there are three super common situations that my clients bring up, and I'm diving into all three this week. Tune in to explore how you may have gotten into this situation and what to do next. Get full show notes and more information here:

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31:03

163. Approaches to a Breakup: Breadcrumbs vs Bombshells

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/10/19

Breaking up with partners is something most people lack experience in. Whether your breakup is the result of infidelity, you’re breaking up with an affair partner, or you’ve just decided that you no longer want to be in a relationship, this episode is for you. Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing whether it’s better to take a breadcrumbs or a bombshell approach to breaking up with someone, and she’s sharing how to decide which approach will work best for your specific situation. Get full show notes

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35:38

162. Becoming More Decisive

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/10/12

Your time and energy are limited, and when you don’t make decisions quickly and effectively, you’re wasting both. Infidelity situations are often fraught with difficult decisions, and people have real trouble deciding what they want. Sometimes people think there’s value in taking time to think things over. But is that actually objectively true? Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing how humans tend to stall making decisions under the guise of considering their options, how you may have started to identify

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30:48

161. How Do I Know if I’m Being Reckless?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/10/05

The problem with dismissing your desires because of potentially reckless outcomes is not going to help you decide what you really want. If you are faced with wanting to make a decision about your infidelity and you’re worried that it may lead to a reckless outcome, this episode is for you. Dr. Marie Murphy is helping you see your thoughts about your behavior being reckless, sharing why there is no real defined criteria for recklessness, and showing you how to start working through your thoughts

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28:34

160. Cheating On Your Fiancé

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/09/28

Why does cheating on your fiancé present a particularly complex situation? Of course, not everybody puts marriage and monogamy together, but if you’re formally planning to marry someone and you’re engaging in some sexual or romantic behavior that your fiancé wouldn’t be happy to find out about, today’s episode is for you. Discover the obvious and subtle reasons why cheating on your fiancé presents a stressful situation, how the pressure to get married can prevent you from making a decision you

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33:50

159. You Can’t Eat the Whole Elephant at Once

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/09/21

When you can break down your infidelity situation into individual worries, questions, hopes, decisions, and actions, you can start deciding what you want to do one piece at a time. However, when you’re in an agitated state, breaking your experience down becomes incredibly challenging. Discover why you can’t eat the elephant that is your infidelity situation in one bite. Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you how to consider breaking your complicated infidelity situation down into manageable chunks and

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38:02

158. Forgiving Yourself & Forgiving Others

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/09/14

This week’s episode is all about learning how to forgive yourself when you fall short of your own expectations, and forgiving others when things don’t work out the way you’d hoped or expected. Forgiveness in this form is powerful, especially when negotiating an infidelity situation. However, there are some nuances you need to be clear about before you start forgiving yourself or anyone else in your life. Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing why believing you should be forgiving can make you even more

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31:28

157. You Might Be an Asshole

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/09/07

If you’re in the midst of an infidelity situation, there are plenty of opportunities for you to think of yourself as an asshole. Humans tend to be terrified of the idea that other people won’t like them, but they’re particularly terrified that the people they love might think they’re a total asshole. However, have you ever stopped and considered the possibility that you might be an asshole? Dr. Marie Murphy is unpacking the idea that just because someone else thinks you’re an asshole, that doesn’t

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37:37

156. Nurturing a Long-Term Affair (Part 2)

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/08/31

This week, Marie is going in-depth on the things for which you and your affair partner need to take collective responsibility, and the things your affair partner has to take sole responsibility for themselves. Discover the areas where you and your affair partner need to be on the same page. Learn about communication regarding what each party wants, and the significant issues that can arise from relying on rigid agreements in an affair relationship. Get full show notes and more information here:

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44:07

155. Nurturing a Long-Term Affair (Part 1)

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/08/24

In any relationship, affair or otherwise, there are things you and your partner can deal with together, and there are some things that you or your partner can only address as individuals. Today, you need to consider that the best thing you can do for yourself and your affair relationship is to begin to take responsibility for what’s happening on your side of the street. Tune in this week for part one of a series all about nurturing and sustaining a long-term affair. Learn how to take

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31:47

154. Being Your Own Steward

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/08/17

It’s common for people to believe that they themselves don’t have the ultimate power to make decisions. Maybe they don’t think they have permission to choose, they shouldn’t want what they want, or they need to consider others before deciding. If this sounds familiar, it’s time to start being your own steward. Are you assuming responsibility for what you're creating in your life and taking ownership of the decisions you've made? What does it even mean to do these things? Dr. Marie Murphy is

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56:06

153. Your Questions Answered (Part 5)

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/08/10

How can you remain friends after an intimate affair? Why do people cheat in the first place? How might the presence of children factor into your decision-making about leaving your relationship for your affair partner? Are you worried about the financial damage of leaving your marriage for your affair partner? Dr. Marie Murphy is answering these questions and more on today’s show. Discover how to deal with other people’s opinions about your infidelity or your new relationship, how to navigate

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37:41

152. Seeing Your Ex-Affair Partner in Social Settings

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/08/03

Dr. Marie Murphy is doing something new this week. She is explicitly calling someone out for their perspective on an infidelity-related topic in an otherwise generally entertaining newspaper column. In this case, it was an opinion about what to do if you see your ex-affair partner out in a social setting. Learn about the importance of dropping judgment when it comes to making decisions around your infidelity, as well as how to deal with the worry that you’ll lose it when you see your former affair

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41:11

151. Your Questions Answered (Part 4)

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/07/27

Can you keep a long-term affair going alongside your marriage? What has to happen for this situation to work out? Do cheaters always get found out? What do you do when you decide you don’t want to cheat anymore, but you can’t seem to stop? These are just some of the questions addressed in today’s show. Discover why it’s possible to continue a long-term affair without ever getting caught. Learn how to deal with your physical desire to cheat being opposed to a decision you’ve made to stop cheating,

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40:09

150. Your Questions Answered (Part 3)

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/07/20

If you're concerned about justifying your decision to end the relationship, being honest without being cruel, the honesty of your affair partner, or feeling trapped in conflicting emotions, this episode is for you. Discover the truth about providing compelling reasons for the choices you make. Dr. Marie Murphy is addressing questions from both sides of an infidelity situation, highlighting the problem with solely focusing on the positive aspects of a situation, and sharing how to make decisions

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29:06

149. Your Questions Answered (Part 2)

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/07/13

If you find yourself in a situation where you feel you've made mistakes in your relationship and desire to end it but worry about how others will react to your decisions, if you have concerns or doubts about your sexuality as you age, or if you're struggling with the consequences of infidelity, Marie has you covered this week. Discover how to deal with wanting to leave your relationship, why you don’t owe anyone a justification for your decisions, and how to deal with other people’s reactions. Dr

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34:38

148. Your Questions Answered (Part 1)

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/07/06

Whether you're struggling with your thoughts and expectations of your partner, avoiding looking at your thoughts about your situation, or grappling with other people's judgments about your infidelity, Marie has you covered. Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing everything you need to know about your thoughts and feelings, what you need to consider when it comes to other people's thoughts and feelings, how it's possible to have a caring relationship with an ex-spouse, and diving into the nuances of all

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30:11

147. You Can’t Shame Yourself into Changing

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/06/29

There is an idea floating around in the cultural fog that if you tell yourself you're doing something wrong or that doing a particular thing makes you a bad person, you'll be able to change. If you're applying this kind of logic to yourself in your infidelity situation with the hopes that it will help you make a decision or change your behavior, this episode is for you. Discover why you can't shame yourself into changing. Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you how to get clear on the thoughts that have

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36:19

146. Loving Your Decisions

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/06/22

One of the biggest themes Dr. Marie Murphy's clients struggle with when they come to her for help is making decisions. If you currently believe that there are right and wrong decisions regarding your infidelity situation, this episode is for you. You have the option of lovingly committing to decisions you have made or loving decisions before you make them. Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you some strategies for making decisions that take into account what you really want, and guide you on how to love

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225 results

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