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PODCAST

The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Renee Swanson, Bleav

Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:24:54

Why Being Yourself Feels Dangerous with a Covert...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/09/28

Have you ever wondered why just being yourself feels like walking through a minefield with a covert narcissist? Why your joy, your truth, your boundaries, even your growth seem to set off explosions? In this episode, we unpack exactly why the covert narcissist sees you as a threat.From your truth that cracks their carefully crafted image, to your feelings that highlight their emptiness, to your independence, awareness, and growth that they can’t control—every healthy part of you feels like danger

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00:26:26

Bird in a Cage, Part 2: Finding Freedom After Covert...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/09/25

In Part 2 of my conversation with singer-songwriter Caryn Dixon, we go deeper into the journey of leaving—and staying gone—from covert narcissistic abuse. Caryn opens up about the staggering reality that it takes an average of seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship before it finally sticks, and why so many survivors find themselves pulled back into the cycle again and again.She shares the powerful response her video on this topic has received—thousands of comments, shares, and private

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00:19:34

Pull Back Your Supply: How to Test the True Nature of...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/09/21

What happens when you stop pouring all your energy into someone else and start investing it back into yourself?In a healthy relationship, your self-care is welcomed and even celebrated. Your partner enjoys the space to recharge too, and both of you come back stronger. But in a relationship with a covert narcissist, pulling back your supply—the constant attention, caretaking, and emotional labor—can trigger explosions, implosions, and childlike tantrums. In this episode, Renee explores: What

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00:25:06

Bird in a Cage: Caryn Dixon’s Journey Out of Covert...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/09/18

In this first half of my two-part conversation with singer-songwriter Caryn Dixon, we explore the story behind her new EP Bird in a Cage—a raw and vulnerable collection of songs written out of her experience of covert narcissistic abuse. Caryn shares how life inside the “perfect couple” image felt more like a shrinking cage, one that left her hiding her pain, questioning her reality, and carrying invisible bruises. We talk about the silence, sulking, and subtle manipulations that made her doubt

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00:15:40

Mary’s Story: A Celebration of Life and the Hidden...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/09/14

In today’s episode, I step away from the usual format to share something deeply personal and profoundly important. This is a tribute—a celebration of life—for a member of our community whose story ended too soon. For her privacy, I will call her Mary.Mary’s life was marked by decades of devotion, sacrifice, and quiet endurance. Though her family didn’t see her pain, and though her reality went unacknowledged in her death, we will not let her story be erased. Today, I honor Mary’s strength, her

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00:24:38

Leaving a Covert Narcissist: The 3 Stages of...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/09/11

Leaving a covert narcissist isn’t a single moment of walking out the door—it’s a layered process that unfolds in stages. In this episode, I explore the three different ways survivors leave: physically, emotionally, and mentally.In physically abusive relationships, your body often leaves first for safety, while your heart and mind lag behind. In emotionally abusive relationships, your heart shuts down long before your body can walk away. And mentally? That’s the hardest and final

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00:19:52

Endless Attempts, Zero Progress: Can a Covert...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/09/07

You’ve researched. You’ve reasoned. You’ve shown empathy. You’ve tried again and again to help them see the truth—about their behavior, the damage, the disconnection. But nothing changes.In this episode, Renee Swanson explores one of the most painful patterns survivors of covert narcissistic abuse face: the endless attempts to help, to explain, to connect—and the devastating realization that it never leads to real progress. Through personal stories, listener reflections, and a powerful metaphor

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00:17:42

Covert Narcissism: It’s Not What They Said, It’s How...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/09/04

Have you ever replayed a conversation in your head, wondering if you misunderstood what was said—or if you were being manipulated? In relationships with covert narcissists, it’s rarely the words themselves that do the most damage. It’s the intent, the tone, and the unspoken energy behind them. In this episode, we explore how the same words can hold completely different meanings depending on who is saying them—and why. From “I don’t want to fight” to “I’m sorry,” covert narcissists use language as a

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00:23:22

Covert Narcissism 102: The Final Exam You Never...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/08/31

If Covert Narcissism 101 exposed the basics, get ready for the advanced curriculum. This is Part Two of our two-part series — and today, we’re tackling Covert Narcissism 102: The Final Exam You Never Wanted to Take.In this sarcastic “classroom lecture,” we break down the advanced strategies covert narcissists seem to master: weaponizing forgetfulness, controlling through chaos, hijacking holidays, rewriting history, and keeping their partners hooked with just enough crumbs of affection. It’s the

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00:16:48

Covert Narcissism 101: The Textbook They All Seem to...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/08/28

Have you ever noticed that covert narcissists all seem to follow the exact same script? It’s as if they sat in the same classroom, took the same notes, and memorized the same textbook.In this episode — Part One of a two-part series — we crack open that mysterious manual: Covert Narcissism 101. From the art of the half-apology, to gaslighting, silent treatments, and the polished public persona, you’ll hear the “lessons” every covert narcissist seems to master. Presented with humor and sarcasm, this

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00:21:45

The Gaping Hole Where Reconciliation Should Be: Life...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/08/24

One of the most painful realities of living with a covert narcissist is the absence of reconciliation. Conflicts don’t get repaired. Apologies are either nonexistent or so hollow they echo in your chest. You’re left holding the pieces of a conflict, waiting for your partner to help put them back together—only to realize they’ve already walked away, acting like nothing happened.In this episode, Renee Swanson explores the gaping hole where reconciliation should exist in relationships with covert

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00:39:11

Crush Your Divorce, Protect Your Peace: A...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/08/22

Divorcing a covert narcissist is not just about paperwork—it’s about survival. Today on the Covert Narcissism Podcast, I sit down with Bree Sullivan-Howell, a seasoned family law attorney with over two decades of experience and the author of Crush Your Divorce and Keep Your Faith and Crush Your Comeback. Bree brings both practical wisdom from the courtroom and heartfelt guidance for the personal and spiritual battles that survivors face. In this powerful conversation, Bree and I dive deep into:

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00:27:22

Forever Young, Forever Stuck: The Peter Pan World of...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/08/17

When you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist, it can feel like living in Never Never Land—a place where no one grows up, nothing ever gets resolved, and you’re left carrying all the weight. At first, their charm feels like magic. They’re playful, adventurous, fun. But when real life shows up—accountability, conflict, emotional depth—they shut down, lash out, or retreat into blame.In this episode, we explore the Peter Pan World of covert narcissists, those who refuse to grow up and keep

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00:21:01

Your Rights When With a Covert Narcissist

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/08/15

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?” Now that I have shown how I will treat every word that comes out of your mouth, you better just shut up. I’m better than you at manipulating things, turning things against you, controlling

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00:22:42

I Didn’t Know the Words But I Knew the Feeling:...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/08/11

You don’t have to know the terminology to know when something feels wrong.Long before I knew the term gaslighting, I knew the dizzying confusion of hearing “I never said that” about something I remembered clearly. Before I’d ever heard of circular conversations, I knew the frustration of talking in circles until I was the one apologizing. Before I could name moving goalposts, I knew the exhaustion of never being able to “get it right.” And before I understood walking on eggshells, I knew the tension

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00:28:48

The Real Reason the Covert Narcissist Still Isn’t...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/08/08

They’ve stopped yelling. They’re going to therapy. They’re more “attentive.” So why does it still feel like nothing’s changed?In this final episode of our 4-part series with Dr. Anthony Mazzella, we dive into one of the most misunderstood dynamics in narcissistic relationships: the collapse of guilt into shame—and how it sabotages real change. We explore: Why narcissistically inclined individuals can’t tolerate guilt How shame masquerades as self-awareness but blocks true repair The

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00:24:45

When Your Adult Child Takes Their Side: Surviving the...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/08/04

When the Child You Protected Believes the NarcissistIt’s a betrayal that cuts deeper than most people can understand—when your adult child, the one you protected for years, turns on you and takes the side of the covert narcissist. If you’re walking through this devastating experience, you are not alone. I’m opening a small, supportive Zoom coaching group just for parents facing this heartbreak. This group is a safe place to process the grief, confusion, and isolation of being cast as the villain in

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00:32:59

Beneath the Apology: Shame, Image, and the Illusion...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/08/01

What if that apology wasn’t about you at all?What if the moment that looked like remorse was really a carefully constructed move to restore a fractured image? In this powerful continuation of our series with Dr. Anthony Mazzella from The Narcissism Decoder podcast, we dive beneath the surface of “I’m sorry” to explore what’s really going on: the tangled relationship between guilt, shame, narcissism, and the illusion of empathy. We break down a real-life example of a man spiraling in frustration,

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00:19:38

Baiting Tactics of Covert Narcissists: Signs,...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/07/28

Baiting is one of the most maddening—and most misunderstood—tactics used by covert narcissists. It’s the emotional equivalent of poking you with a stick just to watch you react, then sitting back and saying, “Wow… look how angry you are.”In this episode, we unpack exactly how covert narcissists bait you into emotional reactions—and why they benefit from pushing your buttons. From passive-aggressive digs and guilt trips to carefully crafted public humiliation, we break down the subtle ways they set

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00:35:25

Guilt vs Shame: The Emotional Crossroads That Defines...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/07/24

Part two of a 4 part series on Guilt and Shame with guest, Dr. Anthony Mazzella, Psychotherapist & Host of The Narcissism Decoder PodcastWhat if the guilt you carry… isn’t actually guilt at all? In Part Two of this powerful conversation, Renee and Dr. Anthony Mazzella dive into the subtle but life-changing difference between guilt and shame—and why confusing the two can keep you stuck in cycles of self-blame, anxiety, and emotional paralysis. You’ll learn: Why guilt is actually a sign of

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440 results

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