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PODCAST

After the Affair

The ‘After the affair’ podcast with Luke Shillings is here to help you process, decide, and move forward on purpose following infidelity. Let’s explore what’s required to rebuild trust not only in yourself, but also with others. Whether you stay or leave, I can help! and no matter what your story, there will be something here for you.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

29:00

65. Choice or Obligation: Should I stay or leave...

After the Affair ·

2023/12/20

"Choice or Obligation: Should I Stay or Leave After the Affair?" explores the heart-wrenching decision-making process in the aftermath of infidelity. Hosted by relationship coach Luke Shillings, this episode delves deep into the emotional turmoil faced by both betrayed and unfaithful partners. Are you feeling like every part of you is saying you should leave, yet you feel obligated to stay? You are not alone! Or perhaps you want to stay, but external messages from friends and family leave you

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24:29

64. Benefits of Healing from Infidelity

After the Affair ·

2023/12/13

We begin by exploring the importance of recognizing what's within our control and what isn't. This crucial step sets the foundation for healing, helping us to focus our energy where it can truly make a difference. Join me, Luke Shillings, as I delve into the transformative journey of healing from infidelity and the ways in which my healing helped me in other areas. Drawing from my personal experience, I unravel the complexities of this challenging yet rewarding path. I share the power of

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21:05

63. What if it was me? Self-Reflection in the Wake of...

After the Affair ·

2023/12/06

Join me Luke Shillings in this thought-provoking episode of 'After the Affair', titled "What If It Was Me? Self-Reflection in the Wake of Betrayal." This episode delves deep into the introspective journey of understanding your own role in relationship dynamics, especially in the context of infidelity and betrayal. In this episode, we explore the challenging yet essential process of self-reflection following an affair. Join me as I guide listeners through a series of insightful discussions and

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22:54

62. Overcoming Thought Addiction after Betrayal

After the Affair ·

2023/11/29

In this enlightening episode of "After the Affair," Join me Luke Shillings as I talk about 'Thought Addiction', something that many individuals face post-betrayal. Discover how repetitive, negative thought patterns can take hold and how you can break free from this mental trap to find healing and empowerment. Join me as I explore the thinking behind why betrayed partners might experience obsessive thoughts like "Why did this happen to me?" or "I am not good enough," and how these thoughts impact the

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18:46

61. Once a Cheater: Possibly a Keeper?

After the Affair ·

2023/11/22

"Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?" Join me Luke Shillings as I challenge this oversimplified notion, bringing a nuanced perspective to the complex issue of infidelity and personal transformation. We begin by examining the human tendency to overgeneralise based on singular events to illustrate how our perceptions of likelihood and recurrence are often skewed. This sets the stage for an in-depth exploration of the multifaceted nature of cheating. I break down the myth, questioning the fairness and

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19:39

60. Gaslighting an Affair? Take a look in the Mirror

After the Affair ·

2023/11/15

Join me in this enlightening episode of "After the Affair, where I delve into the often-overlooked phenomenon of self-gaslighting following infidelity. Hosted by myself, relationship & infidelity recovery coach Luke Shillings, this episode explores the subtle yet profound ways individuals unknowingly gaslight themselves after experiencing betrayal in a relationship. Discover the insidious nature of self-gaslighting, where victims of infidelity question their own reality, emotions, and sanity

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26:27

59. Trust After Betrayal: Is There Hope?

After the Affair ·

2023/11/08

Explore the complex journey of rebuilding trust after the pain of infidelity in this insightful episode of 'After the Affair'. Join Luke Shillings, a dedicated relationship coach and podcast host, as he delves into one of the most challenging questions faced by those who have experienced betrayal: Can trust truly be restored? In "Trust After Betrayal: Is There Hope?", Join me as I provide not only a compassionate look into the emotional upheaval following infidelity but also share out-of-the-box

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25:35

58. Why We Stray: Does Attachment Theory Explain the...

After the Affair ·

2023/11/01

In this episode of 'After the Affair,' Join me Luke Shillings as I delve into the profound connection between attachment styles and infidelity. Discover how being Anxiously Attached, Avoidantly Attached, or Fearful-Avoidant can influence the likelihood and aftermath of cheating in a relationship. Whether you're healing from betrayal or looking to safeguard your partnership, this episode offers invaluable insights tailored to your emotional makeup. Learn how to navigate recovery based on your

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02:06

After the Affair Podcast - What to expect.

After the Affair ·

2023/11/01

Welcome to the 'After the Affair' podcast trailer, your essential introduction to the gripping world of infidelity recovery and relationship rebuilding. Hosted by Luke Shillings, a certified relationship coach specialising in infidelity recovery, this podcast is your haven for navigating the turbulent waters of betrayal. Whether you're struggling with the aftermath of an affair or searching for a deeper understanding of the complexities involved, the episodes dig deep into topics like 'The Cheater's

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01:00:51

57. Between Culture & Infidelity - A Journey of...

After the Affair ·

2023/10/25

In this episode of "After the Affair," Join me Luke Shillings as I sit down with guest Yasmin Majid as she shares her powerful story of love, resilience, and personal growth. Yasmin discusses her experience navigating a multicultural upbringing, her marriage of 23 years, and the unexpected revelations that led to its end. She opens up about the lessons she learned from her divorce, her journey of healing from domestic abuse, and her pursuit of self-improvement. Join Luke and Yasmin as they

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23:36

56. ’Humping’ After the Affair - Navigating the...

After the Affair ·

2023/10/18

In this eye-opening episode of 'After the Affair,' I explore the challenging middle ground of the healing journey - affectionately coined as "Humping After the Affair." Don't let the cheeky title fool you; we're delving deep into that frustrating plateau where you feel stuck between the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future. You've made some progress, but why does it seem like you're just going through the motions? Join me, Luke Shillings as I break down the psychology behind this

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17:38

55. The Invisible Weight - Societal Pressures after...

After the Affair ·

2023/10/11

In this episode of 'After the Affair,' I take a look at the societal pressures that shape how we cope, react, and even move forward. While the emotional toll of betrayal is a weighty topic by itself, the expectations from friends, family, and even complete strangers can add an invisible weight that often goes unspoken. I explore the history of societal norms surrounding betrayal, how media influences our perceptions, and the varying expectations set by gender, culture, and even social media

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48:15

54. Divorce after Betrayal - Expert Perspectives with...

After the Affair ·

2023/10/04

In this episode of "After the Affair," host Luke Shillings interviews Charlotte Tweed, a family divorce solicitor, about her personal experience with divorce and infidelity. Charlotte shares her own story of growing up as a third-party observer of her parents' relationship breakdown and how it influenced her career choice. She also provides valuable insights and professional advice for individuals navigating divorce proceedings in the aftermath of betrayal. You can get in touch with Charlotte and

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25:34

53. Betrayed and Doomed - Spot the Signs and Know...

After the Affair ·

2023/09/27

In this eye-opening episode of 'After the Affair,' join me Luke Shillings, as I identify the key elements of a Doomed Relationship ... What to look out for and what to do about it, plus the aching question, When is it time to walk away? I kick off by identifying the red flags that could signal a doomed relationship—warning signs that you can't afford to ignore. But understanding the symptoms is just the first step; I also peel back the layers of psychology that drive these problematic behaviors

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17:17

52. Ignoring Red Flags - The Guilt of Not Acting Sooner

After the Affair ·

2023/09/20

Are you carrying the heavy burden of guilt after discovering your partner's affair, wondering why you didn't act sooner on those red flags? In this eye-opening episode, I look into the emotional turmoil known as 'Inaction Guilt,' dispelling the myth that you're to blame for their betrayal. Learn how to navigate these complicated feelings and why it's crucial to free yourself from the guilt trap for a healthier emotional future. To learn more about working with me: Visit:

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52:35

51. Parenting Through Infidelity with Ben Pugh

After the Affair ·

2023/09/13

Joining us today is my guest, Ben Pugh, who during the course of conversations shares his background and insights on how parents can better support their children during their teenage years, amidst the changes caused by infidelity. We discuss how modifying our own behaviours can create a positive experience for ourselves and in turn, influence our children's behaviour. In our conversation, we'll delve into the concept of identity, cherishing positive experiences, and not allowing negative ones to

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32:53

50. Dating After the Affair

After the Affair ·

2023/09/06

In this 50th episode of "After the Affair," I take a look at the complexities of reentering the dating scene after experiencing betrayal. It's uncharted territory for many, laden with emotional landmines and haunting questions about trust. But as your host, Luke Shillings, I'll guide you through this daunting yet crucial phase in your healing journey. We kick off the episode by exploring how to navigate the world of dating with a fresh perspective on trust, urging you to exercise your "trust

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18:50

49. A Choice No One Talks About: Are you Volunteering...

After the Affair ·

2023/08/30

In today's episode of 'After the Affair,' I uncover the often unspoken but pervasive issue that many betrayed partners grapple with: the Victim Mentality. Feeling like a victim is an easy trap to fall into after experiencing betrayal, but it's also a trap that can hinder your recovery and personal growth. Join me as I unravel: 1️⃣ The Danger of Victim Mentality: Understand how adopting a victim mindset can hold you back from healing and growing. 2️⃣ Empowerment through Narrative Control: Learn to

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47:56

48. Motivating Change: Faust Ruggiero’s Guide for...

After the Affair ·

2023/08/23

In this episode of "After the Affair," host I am joined by guest Faust Ruggiero to discuss the importance of accountability and personal growth after a breakup. We delve into the complexities of relationships, infidelity, and the impact on our sense of identity. Join us as we explore practical strategies for moving forward and finding internal strength to create a fulfilling and empowered life. Faust A. Ruggiero’s professional career spans almost 40 years, and is diversified and compelling, as it

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11:40

47. Understanding Cheaters

After the Affair ·

2023/08/16

In this episode, I try to get a better understanding of those who cheat and how it affects the healing process after betrayal. Join me Luke Shillings as I uncover the emotions, justifications, and pain behind acts of infidelity. I dive into the mindset of the cheater, exploring the grey areas that often go overlooked. Remember, understanding does not equate to condoning, but it opens the door to authentic conversation, reconciliation, or closure. So, let's go beyond the surface and uncover the

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126 results

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