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PODCAST

On Attachment

Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

22:19

#183: How to Be a Better Partner

On Attachment ·

2025/04/08

When we think about improving our relationships, we’re often focused on what isn’t working — what our partner could do differently, how we’re not getting our needs met, where communication is breaking down. But in this episode, I want to invite a slightly different lens: what does it mean to be a better partner? Not from a place of self-sacrifice or perfectionism, but from a grounded, secure place. One that’s rooted in love, compassion, curiosity, and a willingness to show up with care. In th...

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22:38

#182: What to Do When Your Partner Doesn't Want to...

On Attachment ·

2025/04/02

One of the hardest things to face in a relationship is feeling like you're growing and evolving, while your partner seems simply unwilling to meet you there. Maybe you’ve suggested therapy, brought up recurring issues, or shared books and podcasts you love, only to be met with silence, shutdown, or defensiveness. In this episode, we’re exploring what to do when your partner doesn’t seem interested in personal growth or improving the relationship. We’ll talk about why this happens, what it mea...

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26:39

#181: The Demonisation of Avoidant Attachment (& Why...

On Attachment ·

2025/03/25

In today’s episode, I’m diving into a topic that’s both close to my heart and foundational to how I approach this work: the widespread demonisation of avoidant attachment — and why we need to stop doing it. It’s all too common, especially in online spaces, for people (often those with anxious attachment) to project blame, anger, and sweeping judgments onto those with avoidant attachment styles. But while that instinct may feel validating in the short term, it actually keeps us stuck. This epi...

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22:39

#180: 5 Hard Truths About Healing Anxious Attachment

On Attachment ·

2025/03/18

Healing anxious attachment is a life-changing journey — but it’s not always easy. While moving toward secure attachment can bring more ease, confidence, and healthier relationships, it also requires confronting some uncomfortable truths along the way. In this episode, we’re unpacking five hard truths about healing that will help you set realistic expectations and stay committed to your growth. What We Cover in This Episode: Why healing isn’t always comfortable — and why grief is often part of...

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15:40

#179: Why You Struggle With Self-Trust

On Attachment ·

2025/03/11

Self-trust is something we all want, but many of us struggle to build it. If you find yourself second-guessing your decisions, over-preparing for worst-case scenarios, or feeling like you can't rely on yourself, you're not alone. In this episode, we’re unpacking why self-trust is so challenging, especially for those with anxious attachment, and how to shift your focus to build a strong foundation of inner security. What We Cover in This Episode: Why anxiety craves control — and how this...

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20:27

#178: When Your Partner Isn't Meeting Your Needs

On Attachment ·

2025/03/04

It’s painful when you feel like your needs in a relationship aren’t being met. Whether it’s emotional intimacy, quality time, affection, or communication, this can lead to frustration, loneliness, and resentment — especially if you’ve voiced your needs and still don’t see change. In this episode, we’re exploring: Why anxiously attached people so often get stuck around needsWhat to focus on if you feel stuck in a cycle of unmet needsHow to know when it’s a compatibility issue vs. a communicati...

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23:22

#177: How Social Media Exacerbates Anxious Attachment

On Attachment ·

2025/02/25

Social media can be a minefield at the best of times, but if you have an anxious attachment style, it can amplify relationship anxiety in ways that feel overwhelming. From overanalysing who your partner follows to spiralling over why they haven’t posted about you, social media can fuel insecurity, comparison, and even compulsive checking behaviours. In today’s episode, we’re exploring why social media is such a common trigger for people with anxious attachment, the unhealthy patterns it can c...

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23:32

#176: Conscious Dating: How to Raise Your Standards &...

On Attachment ·

2025/02/19

In today's episode, we're talking all about conscious dating and how you can raise your standards and date from a place of grounded self-confidence and self-worth. Many anxiously attached people struggle a lot with dating, experiencing anxiety, insecurity and self-doubt every step of the way. This can naturally block us from connecting with others in a way that feels healthy and authentic. We'll cover: the importance of dating with intentionality common mindset pitfallsidentifying ...

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18:04

#175: Perfectionism & Anxious Attachment

On Attachment ·

2025/02/11

In today's episode, we explore how perfectionism intersects with anxious attachment and impacts our ability to form secure relationships. We examine how the drive for perfection often stems from attachment wounds around unworthiness and creates barriers to authentic connection. Key themes covered: The links between perfectionism and anxious attachment patternsHow perfectionism manifests in relationships (performing, people-pleasing, fear of making mistakes)The connection between perfectionism...

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21:07

#174: Anxiety vs. Intuition: How to Tell the Difference

On Attachment ·

2025/02/04

Have you ever wondered how to tell the difference between intuition and anxiety? If so, this episode is for you. We're talking all about the difference between intuition and anxiety, and sharing some simple tools to know how best to relate to these states and when to listen to the information our body is giving us. We'll cover: anxious attachment and hyperawareness of shifts in people's emotional statestrusting our perception but questioning the meaning-makingrecognising urgency as a key impr...

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22:17

#173: How to Rebuild Self-Worth After a Break-Up

On Attachment ·

2025/01/28

In today's episode, we're talking about how to rebuild self-worth after a break-up. It's so common, particularly for anxious attachers, to emerge after a break-up feeling incredibly uncertain and lacking in self-worth. We become acutely aware of the extent to which we lost ourselves in the relationship, but often don't know where or how to begin reconnecting with who we are.We'll talk about:why it's so common for self-worth to be damaged after a break-upself-abandonment and self-loss when rel...

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28:38

#172: 10 Signs You're Moving From Anxious to Secure...

On Attachment ·

2025/01/20

In today's episode, we’re exploring the key signs that you’re moving from anxious attachment toward greater security. While every healing journey is unique, certain themes consistently emerge as markers of growth. If you're working on healing your anxious attachment style, this episode will help you recognise the shifts happening within you.What We Cover:How healing is not linear and why everyone's journey looks differentThe mindset shifts that show you're stepping out of fear and insecurityE...

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23:36

How to Transform Your Life

On Attachment ·

2025/01/08

For our first episode of 2025, we're exploring the journey of creating a life that feels deeply authentic and aligned with who you truly are. Moving beyond societal expectations and the hamster wheel of constant striving, this episode challenges you to embrace courage, honesty, and personal responsibility to make meaningful changes in your life.Key topics covered:Why honesty with yourself is essential for transformatioThe power of action—and why inaction is a decision tooHow to reconnect with...

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26:06

Dating Q&A: Early Dating with Anxious Attachment,...

On Attachment ·

2024/12/17

In this Q&A episode, I’m answering your most common questions about early dating—particularly through the lens of anxious attachment. If dating feels like a minefield of overthinking, anxiety, and emotional highs and lows, this episode is for you.We’ll explore:Early dating dynamics: Navigating the vulnerability and uncertainty that comes with getting to know someone new.Not attaching too quickly: Why it happens for those with anxious attachment and how to pace yourself emotionally.Texting...

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25:46

Self-Sabotage: Why We Do It & How to Break Free

On Attachment ·

2024/12/10

In today's episode, we’re diving deep into self-sabotage—those frustrating patterns where we seem to work against our own best interests. Whether it’s procrastination, pushing people away, or avoiding opportunities, self-sabotage can feel like an endless cycle. We cover:What self-sabotage really is: Understanding how it’s often a misguided attempt to keep us safe.Why we get stuck: Exploring the fears, limiting beliefs, and unmet needs that fuel sabotaging behaviour.How to shift these pat...

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22:16

How to Support an Avoidant Partner to Open Up

On Attachment ·

2024/12/03

In this episode of On Attachment, we’re diving into how to support an avoidant partner in opening up emotionally. If you’ve ever felt frustrated by your partner’s emotional distance or found yourself unsure how to help them feel safe in the relationship, this episode is for you. Healing Anxious Attachment waitlist Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Join On Attachment Insiders, my new membership community Upcoming Events Byron Bay Retreat - Apply now! 🏝️ Additional Resources Join

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23:13

How to Balance Compassion for Others with Boundaries...

On Attachment ·

2024/11/26

In today's episode, we're talking about the delicate balance between compassion for others, and boundaries for ourselves. For those of us who tend towards empathy and curiosity towards others' inner worlds, it's easy to fixate on the "why" behind their behaviours (particularly behaviours we don't like or understand). And while that is an admirable trait, without clear boundaries it can easily veer into self-abandonment. I'll share some thoughts on how to find a balance between compassion...

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26:24

Signs an Avoidant Partner is Deactivating & What to...

On Attachment ·

2024/11/19

In today's episode, we’re diving into what avoidant partner deactivation looks like and how you can respond to this experience in a way that protects your emotional wellbeing and prevents further spiralling and disconnection. We’ll explore the subtle ways avoidant partners create distance—whether emotionally, physically, or in their communication—and how these behaviours stem from their attachment patterns rather than a lack of care or love. Importantly, we’ll talk about what you can do ...

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19:59

Why Validation is so Important for Anxiously Attached...

On Attachment ·

2024/11/12

In today's episode, we're talking all about validation — and specifically, why it is so essential for anxiously attached people in building more security within themselves and in their relationships. Most anxiously attached people are accustomed to feeling chronically invalidated (in part because they tend to do this to themselves), always wondering if they are too much, too needy, too sensitive, too paranoid, and so on. This can lead to over-reliance on a partner or others external to u...

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23:19

5 Unexpected Triggers of the Abandonment Wound

On Attachment ·

2024/11/05

In today's episode, we're talking all about the abandonment wound — and specifically, five scenarios that might unexpectedly trigger your fears and insecurities around abandonment. When we think about the fear of abandonment, we often imagine scenarios where someone physically leaves us—maybe a breakup or a loved one walking out the door. But the truth is, this fear can manifest in much more subtle and unexpected ways, especially for those of us with anxious attachment patterns.We'll cover:ho...

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