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PODCAST

Green Cows Don"t Fly

Writers B. and Jon are co-hosts of Green Cows Don"t Fly. Once upon a time they enlisted the help of A I to write two fantasy quest novels which are now available on Amazon here https://amzn.to/3MIZKoh But now in their new ground-breaking extravaganza: The None Show, they meet every week in the Green Room Café to talk about everything and anything and are always looking for suggestions for topics. So if you"d like to get involved in the general mayhem and madness then please do contact the show at:

comedy

All Episodes

23:50

Season 2 Chapter 21. You Only Ski Once

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/11/18

Hold on to your seats because the Questers are in for a James Bond style ski chase. Someone is after them (obviously. That's why it's a chase). Will they get away? Will they dodge all the bullets? Someone will end up in a crevasse.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/ You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka

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9:02

Season 2 Special - More Brian's Memoirs

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/11/11

With B. off on more important business once again it's Jon & Brian in the cafe. Brian shares the inside story on Dame Sisilly Montague's faux pas during her recent Buckingham Palace investiture. Meanwhile all is not running smoothly with the publication of his first volume of theatrical memoirs.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/ You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music &

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21:13

Season 2 Chapter 20. WTF?

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/11/04

Season 2 Chapter 20. WTF?Events take a very peculiar turn this week as two listeners (Edwina & Henri both of whom are listening from home) somehow become involved directly in the quest. How can this be? Blowed if we know, but nevertheless they have been. Rest assured we have booked A I in for a service before the next episode is delivered.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/ You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod

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10:23

Season 2 Special - Brian's Memoirs

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/10/28

We take a break from the quest this week as B has an urgent call in her capacity as a Chocolate Consultant and can't get to the Green Room Cafe. Brian stands in and uses the occasion to plug his memoir of A Long Life on the Stage.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/ You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka

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28:28

Season 2 Chapter 19. The Sound of Music

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/10/21

The Quester's are enjoying (not) a five star treatment in King Tightarse's dungeon. Seems the voice of Olly Murs is too much to take even for our heroes. Will they escape? Or will they have all their toenails pulled out? And wow, one of the Questers isn't who she has claimed to be.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/ You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme:

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27:12

Season 2 Chapter 18. Venom

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/10/14

The Questers are still hanging entangled and immobilised in the spiders' webs. But where have the spiders gone? Will Grandolf and co manage to free themselves in time before the spiders come back to eat them? Just then, hooves thunder towards them. Is it Elvis on a horse, riding in to save them?Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show

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26:18

Season 2 Chapter 17. Muchos Doublecrossos

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/10/07

Grandolf reunites the questers using his thought superpowers and they resume the quest. But a short stop for refreshments takes a terrifying turn when they suddenly find themselves caught in the webs of hideous metallic arachnoid creatures. Meanwhile, Brian has drawn up a personal horoscope for B. But why is he being so nice?Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram:

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33:00

Season 2 Chapter 16. Who Had The Magic Mushrooms?

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/09/30

Frank Pence brings King Tightarse up to speed with a report on the progress of the conquest of Holographia. Meanwhile, back in the Forest of Lost Souls things have taken an alarming turn for the questers.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book Theme:

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22:33

Season 2 Chapter 15. Do You Know Any Wagner?

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/09/23

Captain Cartanno turns the ship / boat / galleon around and now the Questers must press on. They cross the Not So Scary Mountains by way of a secret tunnel only to encounter Bastardo Elves in the Forest of Lost Souls, where things start to look bad for The German Guy. Brian's horoscope this week is for Poppy, the Miniature Pinscher.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram:

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20:57

Season 2 Chapter 14. Turn The Boat Around

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/09/16

Now with the quest back on track, there seems to be some confusion about exactly what chapter they are on. It's fourteen but it could be thirteen or maybe even fifteen. Confusion abounds. Brian delivers a perfectly tailored horoscope for Janice but will she be any the wiser after his predictions?Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork:

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26:36

Season 2 Chapter 13. Something Fishy

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/09/09

A shoal of mythical Jongrons approaches the boat. This fishy race may just hold the key to getting the quest back on the road. However, to move things forward Grandolf's superpowers are put to the test. This week's horoscope has something of a French flavour when listener Jean Pierre contacts the show.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music &

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22:39

Season 2 Chapter 12. Booming Voices From Above

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/09/02

The Questers are stuck on Fartopia but they now await a decision from the Booming Voices Above. If the Wangeroo they have thrown in the dice game is approved it could see them back on track once again. Brian gives another horoscope reading for all Capricorns.Brian appears courtesy of - https://readloud.net/You can contact the show and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG -

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25:51

Season 2 Chapter 11. The Vortex

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/08/26

The Quester's must play a deadly game of chance. Can they throw a Wangeroo? It's only ever been done once before. Kray Zell proves himself to be no Stephen Hawking and the galleon is being drawn ever closer to the centre of the VORTEXBrian appears courtesy of readloud.netYou can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book Theme:

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25:01

Season 2 Chapter 10 Nothing Is Ever Really Duty Free...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/08/19

The Questers cast off on the high seas of Holographia sampling club lounge luxury and treats all the way. Problem is, they're heading to the wrong destination. Meanwhile, Brian's clearly got out of the wrong side of the bed if his star reading is anything to go by.Brian appears courtesy of readloud.netYou can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's

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21:51

Season 2 Chapter 9. We Have A Boat To Catch

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/08/12

The Questers meet with Holographia's Council of Elders in preparation for the new mission. The mysterious Captain Cartanno joins them along with the Youngest Elder, as aboard Cartanno's Galleon they set sail for foreign lands. Meanwhile Brian has been revisiting David Bowie's back catalogue for some cosmic inspiration.Brian appears courtesy of readloud.netYou can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music &

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21:41

Season 2 Chapter 8. Frank Pence Doesn't Mind Being...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/08/05

King Tightarse is in the middle of a spinning session (his arse must get tighter!) when Frank Pence arrives with some bad news.Brian appears courtesy of readloud.netYou can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT - Logo: Created by the guys at Multiverse of Badness Podcast.

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30:25

Season 2 Chapter 7. Not Quite So Clean

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/07/29

The Questers arrive on Holographia and start making plans to save it. Mrs Gubbins, Grandolf's cleaner, may not be what she appears to be. Meanwhile, The UK's is basking in a heatwave and enduring record temperatures of forty degrees plus. And Brain has to take the week off after suffering heat exhaustion when playing the the Tin Man in panto.Brian appears courtesy of readloud.netYou can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram:

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26:53

Season 2 Chapter 6. The Pharse Hole Reopened

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/07/22

It's time to travel to Holographia to save Bob's race. But who can help reseal the Pharse Hole when the questers teleport through? Step forward Grandolf's pub cleaner, Mrs. Gubbins, to save the day, or will she? Meanwhile, Brian reveals he and Gerald share a pair of rather tight trousers.Brian appears courtesy of readloud.netYou can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme:

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27:13

Season 2 Chapter 5. The Thing In The Cellar

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/07/15

The Questers make plans to re-open the Pharse Hole and new recruit, Moonbeam Dawning, finds himself facing an evil Blargog in Grandolf's cellar. Can he defeat it? Meanwhile, Brian prepares a personal horoscope for Ologia.Brian appears courtesy of readloud.netYou can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book Theme:

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24:37

Season 2 Chapter 4 - I'm Not Paying That!

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/07/08

We meet new Baddie, King Tightarse and his personal Coin Polisher, Franc Pence. The cost of everything is rising and the King's not happy about that. Something needs to be done so he can save on dragon food and use the savings to fund his holiday in Benidorm.Brian appears courtesy of readloud.netYou can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's

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