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PODCAST

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Hello, I"m psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves.Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday"s you"ll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

9:02

Bucket Emptying: Consequences Aren't Working

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/06

Does your child never seem to listen to you?Do punishments never work?Are you running out of ideas?Well, here’s some tough love: your consequences aren’t working, and it’s probably your fault. Of course we should make sure misdemeanors are met with consequence, but if your child doesn’t seem to listen, then the consequences clearly are not effective or appropriate.In this bucket emptying episode, I talk you through three things you can consider, so that consequences are not just punishments, but

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25:38

Adolescence: Lessons for Raising Boys

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/02

From the education system, to conflicting expectations, to technology and social media… Netflix’s hit TV show Adolescence has raised many issues about how young men and boys are being raised and the challenges they face.By ignoring some of these underlying problems, we are letting down our children.Our kids deserve to grow up in a world where they feel safe.This starts with making sure we - as parents, as teachers, as role models, and as a society - are raising our boys with the skills and the

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11:48

Bucket Emptying: How to Start Difficult Conversations

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/30

If you haven’t yet seen Adolescence on Netflix, what have you been doing?!Jokes aside, this TV show has been a triggering one for many of us, but especially those parents of boys. It has brought to light many issues around the manosphere, masculinity, and a generation of children who, without a safe space to have open and honest conversations with grownups, can be easily influenced by harmful content elsewhere.That’s why this week’s bucket emptying episode is all about how to have those difficult

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23:10

Lazy or Bored?

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/27

New research from the World Health Organisation (WHO) ranks children in England and Wales near bottom for physical activity.This reflects a world where children are becoming less active… in fact, between the ages of 7 and 16, our kids will spend on average half a year - that’s six whole months - playing video games. But here’s the thing…Our children are not lazy, and we’re not heading for some Wall-E world where we all whizz around on floating chairs! They could just be bored.I believe we can make

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11:07

Bucket Emptying: Flaw or Skills Gap?

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/24

Does your child always leave their room in a mess?Do they leave tasks to the last minute?Are they always on their phone, or wanting to be?As parents we tend to think of things like this as an issue, but in this episode I’m going to help you pivot, because these are not flaws. They’re just skill gaps.When we can reframe these traits of our kids, then we can start to identify how they might need help and support, to gain new skills and overcome some of these day to day challenges.So find a comfy seat,

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32:36

The Five Things All Children Need

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/20

I am SO MAD!Or I was when I first listened to a guest discuss their parenting views on another top podcast. Her guidance - that children should not be in daycare and that women should stay at home for the first couple of years - I felt was too dogmatic, and I immediately jumped on the mic to record this episode.That professional’s opinion comes from an informed place. However, I strongly disagree with them, and in this episode I want to share what I believe are the five core things you should be

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11:28

Bucket Emptying: How Can I Help My Child Manage Exam...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/17

Exams can be a stressful time for our children, which makes them a stressful time for us mums and dads too! There’s a lot of pressure, which can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t need to be like this.In this episode I help you to understand the difference between belief gaps, skills gaps and knowledge gaps, how to identify which one (or combination of) your child is struggling with, and share some tips on how you can help them manage this.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the

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26:47

Seen But Not Heard: Helping Your Child Find Their Voice

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/13

Is your child quiet, shy or reserved?Do they struggle to get heard in group settings?Are you worried their introversion is holding them back?As parents we naturally worry about our children, but here’s some breaking news: just because they might be reserved or quiet, it does not mean they lack belief or confidence.They may not know how to assert themselves in certain situations as well as others, or even as well as you or their siblings, so in this episode I am going to help you spot the signs where

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14:25

Bucket Emptying: Daytime Nap or Quiet Time?

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/10

Do you dread nap time? And is your child always resisting a nap?As parents, we know there’s nothing worse than the tantrum of an overtired kid, so in this episode I’m here to help you create an effective routine to help your children rest and recharge.Spoiler alert: maybe it’s time to detach yourself from nap time and start thinking about it as quiet time instead.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:14 - Why do children need

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26:19

When Your Parents Disagree with Your Parenting

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/06

Do your parents criticise your parenting?Do you struggle to enforce your own rules on the Grandparents?Do Nan and Grandad sometimes think they’re above the law of Mum and Dad?If you’re constantly battling with your own parents over your children, don’t worry - we’ve all there at some point! I often had difficult conversations with my own Mum when raising my two children, and it’s not easy.In this episode I’m going to help you manage these situations by sharing some top tips on how to approach this

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10:51

Bucket Emptying: The 5 Minute Rule

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/03

Do you ever find yourself procrastinating?Do you ever struggle to focus on one task at a time?And how many things are unfinished because something more important suddenly came up?Both children and parents can get so easily distracted - I understand, the world is a busy, urgent place at times, and it feels like everything needs doing all at once!In this episode, I help you apply the 5 Minute Rule to help you focus your energy on one thing at a time. By fully zoning in on one thing for even a short

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42:14

How to Teach Children About LGBT+

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/02/27

We have all heard of LGBT+ or pride, and terms like non-binary, asexual, trans, but do we really understand them? And as parents, how do we begin to have those conversations with our children?In this episode I am joined by Amy Ashenden, Director of Communications and Engagement at Just Like Us, to talk about how to normalise conversations around LGBT+ and diversity, equality and inclusivity (DEI) more broadly.Amy shares some fascinating insights from Just Like Us’ research, which forms the basis of

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15:32

Bucket Emptying: 5 Questions When Anxiety Strikes

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/02/24

Anxiety affects us all, and in this bucket emptying episode I’m going to help your children and you as parents, to manage your anxiety and keep your mental health in check.I’m going to share with you a strategy called Be Here Now, which consists of five simple questions to help you when anxiety strikes.If you do regularly suffer from anxiety and depression, or you just need some additional support with your mental health, please do reach out or contact charities such as Anxiety UK. Remember, you are

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28:00

Building Children's Social and Emotional Skills: Part 1

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/02/20

Who am I?That’s what we’re asking In the first of a two part special on social and emotional skills.They’re not the things you can really see or measure, and there’s no right or wrong answer, but they are so important to how your children interact with the world, and in shaping who they grow up to be.Parenting styles come in all shapes and sizes, but unless you and your children know how to identify your super powers and your skills, knowing how to raise them, encourage them, and support them is

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18:35

Bucket Emptying: The Power of ONE

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/02/17

As parents there’s always a million things to do and it’s so easy to get overwhelmed, which is why in this bucket-emptying episode I’m talking about the power of one. When you focus on one thing at a time, you will find it easier to deal with, and that’s going to help you and your children.This episode is all about the three Cs - central, clarity, and consistency. I’m going to help you understand and apply the three Cs so that you can harness the power of one and channel your inner Super Parent.So

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22:14

Connection is Not Just for Valentine's Day

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/02/13

It’s Valentine’s Day and love is all around… unless you have kids. A recent study shows that many parents with children have not had a date night in the past six months. However, as role models to our kids, it’s so important to make time for them, for ourselves, and for our partners.So this episode is all about connection. I give you five reasons why you need to be spending more time with your partner and share some practical advice to help you do that.Let’s keep the romance alive!Highlights from

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22:54

Bucket Emptying: Helping Children Be More Courageous...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/02/10

On this week’s bucket emptying episode, I am joined by children’s author Ebele Bright (Fly Chico Fly and Shake Ben Shake).Ebele also founded Announce World to share beautiful stories with both children and adults, inspired by the truths and life lessons she is passing on to her daughters. Her picture books, which encourage deeper conversation with children, are perfect for children aged 3-8, parents, teachers and anyone who has an influence on kids.In this episode, we explore how we can help our own

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30:47

When Children Feel Emotions Intensely

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/02/06

When your child struggles to handle their big emotions, what do you do? If you’re like me, you’ll listen to podcasts and read all the books. And, if you’re like me, you probably found none of them helped much in practice. Am I right?Well, in this episode, I’m going to help you cut through the noise, to understand the reasons why your child might appear to be acting out or struggling with intense emotions. I am going to help you go back to the source, figure out why they happen, and then help you

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10:46

Bucket Emptying: When Siblings Get Physical

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/02/03

Do your kids like to play rough?Can they take it too far until one of them gets hurt?Do arguments quickly escalate into physical fights?You're not alone! Most parents with multiple children will experience this at some point, so in this week’s bucket emptying episode, I explain what you can and should do when siblings get physical, and share some quick tips you can use right away.We explore how you can effectively diffuse a physical altercation between your children, and also help them to manage any

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31:07

Self-Esteem and Lying

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/01/30

Spoiler alert: all children lie! And many of our children will experience self-esteem issues, so it’s really important to understand how to recognise it, and support your children through these difficult times.Does your child lie often about silly things?Are they not growing out of it like you thought they would?Do their lies cause upset or consequences to others?If you answered yes to any of these, you’re not alone!In this episode, I talk you through the key things you need to know, including what

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