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PODCAST

Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Ready for practical and positive perspectives on conflict? Join host Jane Beddall, M.A., J.D., to explore ways to preserve and restore harmony by preventing or limiting conflicts that may damage valued relationships and to effectively resolve those that may occur. We will talk about elephants in the room, expanding pies, the problem with cookie cutters, and much more. If you don’t know what those things mean, you will enjoy learning about them. If you do know them, you will be able to expand your

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:27:37

Emily Bouchard on helping blended families flourish

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/02/27

Emily Bouchard combines her academic learning, professional experience, and personal awareness to serve blended families. We talk about reframing stepfamilies to blended families, ex-partners to former partners, and bonus parents – examples of the importance of careful language and intentional communication to enable families to thrive. And we hear a taste of Emily’s work with humans connecting with horses in transformational retreats.Emily mentions her book, Beginner’s Guide to Purposeful Prenups

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00:04:36

Overcoming a false start

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/02/20

A false start in a conflict situation can appear in different ways. We can create a conflict where none existed or when we make a good faith attempt to resolve a conflict. Of course, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. A concept so fundamental that it was the focus of Episode 11, way back on March 13, 2019. But if a false start has occurred, remember and take advantage of the fact of the false start – emphasis on “start”. So, let’s start over. If you made an honest mistake, try an

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00:03:48

Not a hill to die on

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/02/13

There is widespread agreement that the phrase comes from a military engagement, though which one is the original is less clear. Fundamentally, what is the cost to take that hill, to hold the high ground. Then weighing it against the advantage. In interpersonal conflict, we can benefit by going through that analysis explicitly and thoughtfully.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know

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00:04:53

Community Mediation: its power and challenges

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/02/06

The general idea of Community Mediation is that trained volunteers work on neighbor disputes. The volunteer mediators are impartial. This approach can keep disputes out of court. And that’s the most common understanding of it. But community mediation can be much more. First, the individuals in a specific mediated dispute can experience a way to address disagreements and conflict beyond just hating a neighbor or getting the police involved, in one way or another. Many settings beyond neighborhoods

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00:27:47

Maria Arpa on her journey from early conflict to...

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/01/30

Maria Arpa joins me to talk about her journey from a very challenging childhood to a mission to help families, organizations, and communities find effective solutions to problems. Maria is the creator of The Dialogue Road Map, which she uses in her own work. And it is critical to the deep engagement of the social change charity she created, the London-based Centre for Peaceful Solutions. Learn more about the Centre here: https://centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/ . And about her own professional work

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00:03:42

Mediation defined, expanded, embraced

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/01/23

Mediation is a flexible process. What matters is what works for the people involved and the mediator. That the people in conflict are in control of the outcome. That the mediator is impartial. That the people in conflict are treated equally. And that anything said in confidence to the mediator stays in confidence. Think about mediation creatively and expansively. It’s a good fit in many circumstances of conflict. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about

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00:03:37

What mediation isn't

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/01/16

I’ve been diving into helping people handle conflict for many years. Decades now. Early on, more than a few people could get mixed up about mediation and meditation. Fortunately, I haven’t seen that kind of mix-up for a long time. But here’s a perennial one: mediation and arbitration. Merriam-webster.com has this to say: arbitration is the hearing and determination of a disputed case by an arbiter. Or, arbitrator. Mediation is defined as intervention between conflicting parties to promote

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00:25:20

Janet Ettele on How Joyous Effort Works

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/01/09

Janet Ettele joins me to talk about her new book, How Joyous Effort Works. It’s the fourth in her How Life Works series. Through her books, Janet presents an accessible introduction to Buddhist principles, using the timeless power of story. You can learn more about Janet’s work, including her books, here: https://janetettele.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com

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00:03:22

Fan favorites of 2024

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/01/02

Here are three short episodes that were particular favorites this year.“The problem with perceptions” June 5, 2024 4:46https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/podcast/episode-283-the-problem-with-perceptions?rq=284“Not enough of a good thing” August 14, 2024 4:15https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/podcast/nbspepisode-294-not-enough-of-a-good-thing?rq=294“Satisfying vs. productive” December 11, 2024 4:00https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/podcast/episode-312-satisfying-vs-productive?rq=312 Do

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00:04:16

The Golden Rule concept in ten world religions

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2024/12/26

Christianity’s Golden Rule, to do unto other as you would have them do unto you, is woven into nine other world religions (at least).Here’s the source for the phrasing in this episode: https://www.scarboromissions.ca/golden-rule/golden-rule-across-the-worlds-religions You can buy a poster there, too. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about

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00:28:08

Kelly McDonald on working with people not like you

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2024/12/19

Kelly McDonald joins me to talk about her book, How to Work With and Lead People Not Like You. We talk about her take on constructive conflict and some fascinating and compelling research about the challenge and benefit of working with people not like you. You can learn more about this book and Kelly’s other books here: https://www.mcdonaldmarketing.com/ .She invites connection requests on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kellycmcdonald/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or

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00:04:00

Satisfying vs. productive

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2024/12/12

Satisfying or productive? In a way, an expansion on the idea of stopping yourself from uttering that clever, snarky comeback. Definitely might be satisfying, but unlikely to be productive. More likely to be harmful: creating a conflict, exacerbating one, or laying the groundwork for trouble by creating ill feelings.In addition to snarky comments, consider actions, inactions, delays. From a conflict perspective some tempting words and acts may feel good – in a bad way – and be quite damaging.Do you

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00:27:25

Rabbi Daniel Cohen on legacy

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2024/12/05

Rabbi Daniel Cohen joins me to talk about his book, What Will They Say About You When You Are Gone?: Creating a Life of Legacy. We discuss how we all create that legacy every day, even in the smallest moments. We talk about reverse engineering your life, anticipatory kindness, and Elijah moments. You can learn more about the book, Rabbi Cohen’s new podcast, radio work, and The Legacy Academy at his website: https://www.rabbidanielcohen.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest

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00:03:47

Grateful is good; let's add gracious

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2024/11/28

It’s Thanksgiving week here in the U.S. We are encouraged, of course, to reflect on what we can be grateful for. There is more focus on our inward directed reflection than on expressing our gratitude to those around us. When we do look outward, in our interactions with others, can we try to add gracious to grateful? Not just because it would be nice. Being gracious now may lead us to be grateful down the road for nasty conflicts prevented or more easily defused.Do you have comments or suggestions

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00:03:27

Accepting a lousy option

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2024/11/21

When you are truly stuck with a lousy option and need to accept it, what process can you follow?First, acknowledging the frustration. The grief. The loss. Second, trying to keep the finger-pointing and blame to a minimum. Backward-looking “if onlys” don’t help. Third, trying to keep the focus on the future. Whatever that was now going to be. If there were lessons to be learned, trying to absorb them with grace and intention. Finally, keeping priorities clear. If the relationships matter, doing

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00:04:14

Can you or should you "control your emotions"?

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2024/11/14

The idea that we can control our emotions is both unrealistic and potentially damaging. We can try to shut them down or bury them. But they won’t go away. They can corrode or explode. Better to make sure that our emotions do not control us – and our behavior. We can recognize the emotions and their effect on us. Then work to make sure we don’t give up our agency to them.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution

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00:04:27

The challenge of being humble or gracious

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2024/11/07

It’s good advice to “be humble in victory and gracious in defeat”, a phrase credited to Chrisopher Earle. Humble: no gloating, no mocking. Gracious: accepting the outcome, no blaming those who enforce the rules fairly, no finger pointing at your teammates. But both can be tough to do, especially in the current political climate in the U.S. Which leads to another quote: “If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.” That might be the best option in interactions with those who have a

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00:03:41

Empathy, sympathy, and pity

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2024/10/31

Empathy is demonstrating an understanding of another person's feelings and needs. Sympathy shows concern for another person’s misfortune, but not necessarily with the same connection. Pity can be sympathy with judgment or condescension. Empathy can be very helpful in the conflict context. Sympathy may be helpful. Pity can create or worsen problems. We need to be careful about what we are feeling and very careful about what we are projecting. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or

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00:28:23

John Ford on The Empathy Set

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2024/10/24

John Ford is a seasoned mediator. He also describes himself as the purveyor of The Empathy Set. These are tools to help answer the fundamental questions that so often lie behind conflict: What are we feeling and what are we needing. The tools include cards, an app, a dictionary and very cool talking sticks. We discuss how to use these tools effectively. To learn more about The Empathy Set and access free resources, visit https://www.empathyset.com/ You will also find there information about The

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00:04:33

Episode 303: Noticing conflict patterns – location

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2024/10/17

When we are in ongoing relationships, such as those in an extended family or family enterprise, we should be on the lookout for conflict patterns. Is there a pattern to when we frequently end up in a bad conflict? A location can set up challenges in at least three different ways.First, a certain location can be the site of a previous dust-up, disappointment, or even tragedy. Revisiting that particular location can be difficult – possibly for some people and not others. Second, some locations

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