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PODCAST

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

Childhood best friends, PataFria: a professional Dominatrix, mommy/grandma and overall jack of all trades, and Crystal: a die hard animal lover, mommy/wife, peacemaker and caregiver of MANY share hilariously dysfunctional stories from their personal lives. Navigating mental illness, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, views on current events, a little gossip, the dumpster fire of politics and so much more. “Nothing is off limits and everything is funny”

comedy improv

All Episodes

110:26

265: Flicking Your Bean

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/08/02

Pata Fria has different hair, Nyah’s party was a success, Peez is still being Peez and Crystal completed a very important appointment. Pata Fria has been manic and sweaty, Crystal ran into the awesome spouse of a listener, we’ve made some great friends as adults and strangers can be very dangerous. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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69:06

264: Closed Hit Fist

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/07/29

We’ve had a rough week. Nyah’s cotillion is coming, Pata Fria played a crazy prank, Carolyn acted a fool in Target and there’s a special use for tape. Kamala is not a good person, justice for Sonya Massey, Pata Fria is collecting garbage and Crystal lives in a spider sanctuary. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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84:33

263: How's Your Mom?

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/07/21

We had some beauty treatments, it’s Jimbo’s birthday, Stinkers might need surgery and our judicial system is a JOKE. Mosquitos are evil, what’s your communion snack, thrifting requires dedication and our presidential process is embarrassing. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us

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116:44

262: I'm Free Bleeding

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/07/12

We’re back!! Crystal is feeling better, the hot weather is annoying, Charlene got Carolyn for her retirement gift and books are being enjoyed. Crystal’s adhd screening is moving forward, another garage sale is happening, Pata Fria was able to see her daughter and men are still disgusting. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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101:50

261: Lonely Days

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/06/29

The presidential debate was embarrassing, it’s now illegal to be homeless, happy birthday Bunny and Peez allows Crystal to sing with her. Stevi is truly Crystal’s child, there was almost a tragic accident, exes were hoping Pata Fria got killed and the Bay Area is getting scary again. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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100:48

260: Working Out For Evil

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/06/20

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99:26

259: It's Kismet

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/06/13

Pata Fria was sick, Richard has the best awkward experience yet, Bay Area apartments are SAD and boy moms are not ok. Keep your kids out of your social media career, your job isn’t the family you think it is, spiders been on a roll lately and dark disgusting books are fun. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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85:04

258: White Death Paste

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/05/31

We’re recovering from a busy week, stomach bugs are going around, Peez is very two-faced and Crystal has a new hangout. Angering update about Graham, we hate a fake girls girl, Mark did an amazing thing and Pata Fria might be moving to Vermont. !!FREE PALESTINE!! For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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86:56

257: Hide The Crack

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/05/17

Crystal created an amazing protein drink, the workouts continue, we’re fond of mullets and Peez is not being nice. There are some cool discounts for low income people, an eventful first day of work, protect cheddar bay biscuits and beware of sneaky calories. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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85:49

256: It's Still About Me

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/05/11

Hot weather is upon us, pollen is in full attack mode, Crystal got stretched and mental health is a constant struggle. Music in the 90s was filth, we are not confident surgeons, don’t answer your door for strangers and we love movies that are aesthetically pleasing. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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76:23

255: I'm Gifted

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/05/04

Don’t drink milk. Pistachio desserts are top tier. If you see someone stealing no you didn’t and dogs don’t wanna be cops. All of May is Pata Fria’s birthday, Crystal had an amazing dream, let’s restart our meds and always choose the bear. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us

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98:02

254: The Rodeo Raper

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/04/27

Pata Fria got her lips fixed and did some spring cleaning, Crystal has been spending some time in the community, the universe has been on Richard’s ass and Crystal now has a handler. Carolyn has a creepy admirer, don't scam people, don’t lie on people don’t spend your kid’s money and let people protest in peace! FREE PALESTINE For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG:

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127:57

253: Leave William Alone

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/04/19

We’re back! Crystal was sick, William almost died, Carolyn is getting security cameras and anxiety has been ruining Pata Fria’s plans. Middle school kids are bad, Crystal interrupted an adventure, don’t use liquid car fresheners and avoid self checkouts. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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79:16

252: Freak Show Menu

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/04/06

Carolyn and Pata Fria are out of control, it’s SA Awareness Month, we’re praying for a new reality show and if you exploit ppl you deserve to be a little scammed. FREE PALESTINE. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com

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109:10

251: Sophia

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/03/30

FREE PALESTINE and s/o any countries finally stepping in, check online for unclaimed money, treat yourself to a new bra, it’s hard to stay asleep and Pata Fria is exploring age play. Keep sending us your lie stories and write ins and please subscribe/comment/rate and review! For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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84:48

250: Don't Doorbell Ditch

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/03/23

Cemeteries are shady, we’re clearing out some merch, mail is still being stolen and Crystal’s ghost is getting personal. We may have discovered the cutest job ever, there’s a movie to look forward to, respect people that wanna leave the party and unexpected blessings are always nice. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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103:44

249: The Truth Ain't in You

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/03/15

Chemtrails are making us sick, be careful at CVS, the caregiver saga continues and Pata Fria’s exes are all in sync. Let’s try fake toenails, Crystal has new animals, population concerns are really about capitalism and BBL’s do not SMELL!For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us

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94:02

248: Cement Shoes

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/03/02

Being a woman is fun, said no one ever. Crystal is experiencing life thru a new lens. Brain disorders really hinder being a human and Pata Fria overcame a fear. Crystal is still functioning as a death doula, women’s hygiene products are top tier, businesses are leaving, humanity is evaporating and you gotta be careful around dogs. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG:

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76:27

247: Why Aren't We Purging?

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/02/25

Phone service was down, stay away from minors, numbing spray works wonders and we’re full of worms. Girl Scouts are cancelled, celebrities are gross and be careful with plumping lip gloss!For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories:

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82:51

246: Young Sicko

Hello Dysfunction ·

2024/02/18

Happy Valentine’s Day, don’t eat bees, tweakers are so horny and drugs aren’t safe to experiment with anymore. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com

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327 results

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