x

75% of people globally want unbiased news (Pew Research) but are concerned they're not getting that.

Get balanced coverage with Symby. See how stories are covered across diverse outlets and spot when one side covers a story the other skips.

PODCAST

Playing With Fire

Welcome to Playing With Fire, the podcast for people who are ready to custom-build their love. We’re talking about non-monogamy–however you design it–as an individuation opportunity. Want to leave the default and make your life spectacularly you? You’re in the right place.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:52:15

186 Polyamory in the Second Half of Adulthood with...

Playing With Fire ·

2025/01/11

For too long, conversations about polyamory have centered on younger people. But what happens to open relationships as we get older? Kathy Labriola, author of many groundbreaking titles including The Jealousy Workbook, joins us to explain why age doesn’t have to mean the end of polyamory. In fact, non-monogamy can actually become more valuable as we age.It is so important for our community to have access to non-monogamous representation and stories. As someone who has been a polyamorist for 50

en

01:02:48

185 Conscious Uncoupling

Playing With Fire ·

2025/01/04

Navigating the endings of relationships doesn't have to be a disaster. When it comes to consciously uncoupling, it’s about so much more than “breaking up nicely.” We want to help you reimagine what’s possible, honor what was, and create space for what comes next, even when it feels incredibly challenging.In this episode, we talk about: — Why conscious uncoupling requires specific ingredients, including time, willingness to grieve, and self-awareness — The importance of creating rituals to mark

en

00:32:55

184 Q&A Quickie: Why get married?

Playing With Fire ·

2024/12/28

If you’re polyamorous… what’s the point of getting married?? We get this question a lot. And although we are married, we also have a ton of mixed feelings about marriage. Marriage is way more complex than just saying “I do,” and we want to help you sort through those complexities so that you can decide whether or not to get (or stay) married with consciousness and integrity.In this episode, we talk about: — The different components of marriage: legal, social, spiritual, and romantic — Why the legal

en

01:03:46

183 Pelvic and Sexual Health for Every Body with Dr....

Playing With Fire ·

2024/12/21

Just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s normal. You do NOT have to accept pain, discomfort, and limitations when it comes to sex, pregnancy, and childbirth as “just the way things are.”Dr. Ariana Cesare, a pelvic and obstetric physical therapist, is joining us on this episode of Playing With Fire to bust that myth, and many others, when it comes to pain and pleasure. This conversation is for every body, including men, trans people, and people with disabilities (pregnancy affects 100% of

en

00:29:42

182 Q&A Quickie: What should I do when my partner...

Playing With Fire ·

2024/12/14

Gender-based relationship rules might seem like an easy solution to difficult feelings that come up in non-monogamous relationships, but they often mask deeper issues that deserve our attention. Restrictions like "one penis policies" typically stem from unexamined jealousy, fears of competition, and internalized biases.The desire for these kinds of rules often comes from very real places of emotional distress. But instead of using band-aids, we want you to address the root causes of these issues,

en

00:35:23

181 Q&A Quickie: Privacy vs. Transparency—How do I...

Playing With Fire ·

2024/12/07

Navigating privacy and transparency in relationships can feel like walking a tightrope—especially when you and your partners have different comfort levels with information sharing. If you've ever felt frustrated by how much (or how little) your partner shares, you're not alone!The good news? There's no "right" amount of transparency or privacy. What matters is finding agreements that work for you and your partners while maintaining everyone's sense of safety. This episode dives deep into how to

en

00:35:43

180 Hyper-Individualism vs Healthy Autonomy: Am I The...

Playing With Fire ·

2024/11/30

How do you tell the difference between being selfish and practicing healthy autonomy? You probably won’t be surprised to hear that it’s complicated! The line between hyper-individualism and differentiation isn’t just blurry; it’s usually impossible to judge any action one way or the other without a loooot of context (and maybe even hindsight!).To unpack this question, we have to dig deep into the culture of American exceptionalism, principles of ecology and community, and depth psychology’s lenses

en

00:29:52

179 One Kid’s Reflection on Being Raised by...

Playing With Fire ·

2024/11/23

One of the most common concerns we hear about non-monogamous relationships is “but what about the kids?!?” We have a lot to say in response… but in this special episode, you get to hear it from one of our kids instead!Moi offers a candid glimpse into his experience of being raised by polyamorous parents and shares his perspective on what it’s like to navigate a world where polyamory is rarely represented. He also talks about his journey with queerness and transness, and how our family’s values

en

00:34:45

178 The One to Share with Your Concerned Family Members

Playing With Fire ·

2024/11/16

Are you struggling to talk to your friends and family about your non-monogamous identity? Whether you’re unsure how to start the conversation or you’ve tried before and it didn’t go so well, we’re here to help.This episode is a quick and easy resource to share directly with your loved ones. It addresses some common concerns and misconceptions about non-monogamy and shares tips for having more supportive and meaningful conversations. In this episode, we talk about: — Why non-monogamy isn't "better"

en

00:49:04

177 Shadow Dance: Navigating Projections in...

Playing With Fire ·

2024/11/09

The word projection gets thrown around a lot these days, often in an accusatory way (think, “so-and-so is projecting!”). But projection is actually a normal, unconscious psychological process that shows up in all relationships!That doesn’t mean we should let our projections go unchecked. They can interfere with our ability to truly see our partners as whole, autonomous beings. The good news is that when we become aware of our projections, we have a powerful opportunity to uncover and reclaim the

en

00:41:39

176 Dismantling Defensiveness

Playing With Fire ·

2024/11/02

Defensiveness feels like a good way to protect yourself from harm in relationships, but it’s usually more effective at closing yourself off from personal growth, peace, connection, intimacy, multiplicity… and a lot of other wonderful parts of relating.Getting defensive is an unconscious strategy, a deeply ingrained response. Curbing it can feel like herding cats. Tomorrow, we’re helping you find the roots of your defensiveness and we’re sharing practical tools to help you identify and dismantle

en

00:42:27

175 Coming Out as Non-Monogamous: Risks, Rewards, &...

Playing With Fire ·

2024/10/26

Coming out as non-monogamous can bring its own set of challenges and concerns, especially if you also hold other marginalized identities. And maintaining the social appearance of monogamy can come at a cost.In this episode, we’re exploring the risks and rewards of sharing your non-monogamous identity. And, if you do want to come out to the people in your life, we’re breaking down some key steps you can take to get ready for whatever reactions may come your way. We’re breaking down: — Why coming out

en

00:35:00

174 Social Monogamy: The Impact of Maintaining Your...

Playing With Fire ·

2024/10/19

It’s totally normal and understandable to want privacy around your relationships. Especially in a culture that can be less than understanding towards non-monogamous people.And, maintaining the social appearance of monogamy (AKA social monogamy), can come at a cost. For some people, maintaining social monogamy can lead to feelings of disconnection and inauthenticity. You can also get into some messy territory around consent and secrecy with your partners, especially if you have different privacy

en

00:34:39

173 Getting off the Relationship Escalator (Or...

Playing With Fire ·

2024/10/12

Dating → becoming exclusive → moving in together → getting married → having kids. This is the assumed trajectory that all relationships will take. If you’ve already started exploring non-monogamy, you have some experience with breaking the mold. But even in non-monogamous relationships, it’s common to find yourself slipping back into the relationship escalator framework.This path is so ingrained, it’s easy to feel pressure, both internal and external, to fit your life into its rigid set of

en

00:38:24

172 Grieving Change: A Crucial Relationship Skill

Playing With Fire ·

2024/10/05

We do so much grieving in our lifetimes. And not just about the deaths of loved ones—every time there is a change in our lives, we lose an old version of something. That loss can bring up big feelings, and channeling those feelings into an intentional, conscious process of grieving can be hugely beneficial for your life and your relationships.Grieving relational change is a skill, and we made this episode to help you start building that skill, and to explore the complex web of emotions that come up

en

00:53:07

171 Why Self-Agreements Will Make or Break Your...

Playing With Fire ·

2024/09/28

If you have a hard time keeping relationship agreements, you probably also have a hard time keeping the agreements you make with yourself. If that’s you, or if you’ve never even tried to make self-agreements, you have to listen to this episode.This process shouldn’t feel like a punishment—I want you to make agreements with yourself that you actually want to uphold. And that’s not always a straightforward process. If you’re struggling, you’re so not alone. This isn’t entry-level work—it requires

en

00:44:46

170 Jealousy & Attachment Panic

Playing With Fire ·

2024/09/21

“Jealousy is just insecurity, so if you become more secure in yourself, you won't feel jealous anymore.” Ever heard that one before? We have, and we don’t agree. One of the reasons I love thinking about, talking about, and doing academic research on jealousy is that jealousy contains multitudes. Insecurity and attachment issues are just one of its many facets.People tend to over-simplify jealousy because it can feel like a loaded word. Jealousy can get all mixed up with fear, shame, guilt,

en

00:41:37

169 Q&A Quickie: Why am I having such a hard time...

Playing With Fire ·

2024/09/14

Relationship agreements are awesome. They can take you from a place of ambiguity and assumptions to a place of clarity and transparency. But what happens when the hardest part of relationship agreements is… actually… fulfilling them?? It can leave you feeling defeated and sh*tty.If you relate to that feeling, this episode is for you. There might be some tender spots, shadowy patterns, or subconscious desires hiding beneath the surface, and we’re going to help you unearth them. We’re also going to

en

00:56:57

168 Ethics, Responsibility, and the Changing...

Playing With Fire ·

2024/09/07

Eve and Andrea created a book that I wish I had 15 years ago when I was making the transition from monogamy to non-monogamy. And I don’t say that lightly (if you know me, you know I have a LOT of polyamory books on my bookshelves).The new edition of More Than Two is a testament to Eve and Andrea’s thoughtfulness and integrity as writers. They incorporated their evolving perspectives on ethics, relationships, and the world into their book, and the result is magical. They cover the stuff that many

en

00:36:31

167 Unfuck Your Monomind, Part 2

Playing With Fire ·

2024/08/31

Confession: We have not solved our mono-minds. The paradigm of monogamy runs deep in our society, so even though we’ve done decades of deep work to break out of those default frameworks and process our internalized polyphobia, we aren’t immune to the trappings of the mono-mind.Just like many of the other life-changing processes that come with opening up intentionally and successfully (think individuation and differentiation), there is no end point to unpacking your mono-mind. It’s a life-long

en

104 results

Similar Podcasts

Voices of Life

APG Mannheim

Promo Estereo Podcast

Promo Estereo

Talking Timelines Podcast

Talkingtimelines

גיקונומי

ראם שרמן ודורון ניר

Drømmefanger

Drømmefanger