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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

30:43

Udanoceratops, the Horned Face of Udan Sayr

Paleo Bites ·

2024/10/08

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Udanoceratops-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Udanoceratops, a fat ugly beast with a really big head. Between this, last week’s Anteosaurus, and the Eryops episode a bit ago, there seems to be a recurring theme of creatures here. See you at the Cotylorhynchus episode where we start talking about small heads. From the Late Cretaceous, this 13-foot leptoceratopsian had a really big lower jaw and chin, kind of like a Chad,

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21:39

Anteosaurus, the Lizard of the Mythical Giant Antaios

Paleo Bites ·

2024/10/01

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/willemsvdmerwe/art/Anteosaurus-340867141) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Anteosaurus, a really big stem mammal that ate and chomped and crawled and stomped all over. At least, I assume it did. We don’t really know, it could have moved exclusively via unicycle. From the Late Permian, this 20-foot dinocephalian was in the group of big terrestrial Permian predators before the gorgonopsids took over as the next big terrestrial

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27:36

Dakotadon, the Tooth of the Dakota Region

Paleo Bites ·

2024/09/24

(image source: https://prehistoria.fandom.com/es/wiki/Dakotadon) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Dakotadon, also known as the genus name that usurped the North American species of Iguanodon and thus any work featuring a North American Iguanodon retroactively is this. Hey, Aladar? You’re a Dakotadon now. Take all the time you need to process this, bro. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot iguanodontid is one of those examples of the bones being discovered and named far

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22:51

Quinkana, the Spirit of Gugu-Yalanji Folklore

Paleo Bites ·

2024/09/17

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/fish98/art/Antipodes-Quinkana-Concept-969634441) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Quinkana, a galloping terrestrial crocodile from Australia, because why wouldn’t this be a thing? Especially on that continent, AKA Death World. From the Late Miocene to the Late Pleistocene, this 13-foot mekosuchine was also encountered by early humans, rather than being alongside the dinosaurs like it should have been. Why were you from then rather

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27:31

Dusicyon, the Falkland Islands Wolf

Paleo Bites ·

2024/09/10

(image source: https://theconversation.com/history-mystery-solved-the-origins-of-the-falkland-islands-wolf-12637)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Dusicyon, a wolf that encountered humans on its isolated island home and then got promptly killed off by the colonists… yeah, this is a sad episode. We try our best to lighten it up, but there’s only so much you can do! From the Early Holocene, this 5-foot canid as a genus lived all throughout South America, and the one we’re

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24:01

Gremlin, the Gremlin

Paleo Bites ·

2024/09/03

(image source: https://www.sci.news/paleontology/gremlin-slobodorum-12547.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Gremlin, a monstrous little critter with a big head and a mischievous demeanor, particularly if you feed it after midnight. Come on, we all knew that’s where these jokes were heading, huh? We’re all on the same page? Good. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot leptoceratopsid lived in both the wet scrublands of Alberta as well as in the insides or on the wings of

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20:54

Eryops, the Drawn-Out Face

Paleo Bites ·

2024/08/27

(image source: https://a-z-animals.com/animals/eryops/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Eryops, a large amphibian with curved teeth, oval bumps, and a big head. Hey, Eryops, why the drawn-out face? Thank you, I’m here ‘til Tuesday. From the Early Permian, this 8-foot temnospondyl had the species name megacephalus, meaning this creature’s binomial name means “drawn-out face with a big head.” I really think they want us to know how big this thing’s head is, guys. What a

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23:20

Kaprosuchus, the Boar Crocodile

Paleo Bites ·

2024/08/20

(image source: https://fossil.fandom.com/wiki/Kaprosuchus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Spencer Mayhew discuss Kaprosuchus, a running crocodilian from Cretaceous Africa that lived alongside the far bigger crocodilian Sarcosuchus, the croc-like dinosaur Suchomimus, and the croc-jawed sail-backed dinosaur Spinosaurus. It’s like a who’s who of croc mimics, one of whom’s name literally means “crocodile mimic.” I guess it was trendy there. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 16-foot notosuchian was

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25:29

Camelops, the Camel Face

Paleo Bites ·

2024/08/13

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/camelops-hesternus-front-view-corey-ford.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Camelops, a… well, it’s a camel, guys. Yeah, news flash, Camelops is a camel. God, we really need another dinosaur episode soon. From the Late Pleistocene, this 7-foot camel lived in North America and lived alongside elephants, lions, bison, and wolves. A whole lot of creatures you wouldn’t expect to find on this continent, yet here they were. And here

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19:13

Oncorhynchus rastrosus, the Saber-toothed Salmon

Paleo Bites ·

2024/08/06

(image source: https://eartharchives.org/articles/saber-toothed-salmon-teeth-more-like-tusks-than-fangs/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Oncorhynchus rastrosus, AKA the saber-toothed salmon, AKA the coolest name for a fish ever, but FYI it’s not actually a valid descriptor anymore, so AKA it’s a massive disappointment. A big flop. Like a fish. Flop, flop. From the Late Miocene, this 8-foot salmonid was still pretty impressive, being such a big fish that also had big

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23:31

Macrauchenia, the Long Llama

Paleo Bites ·

2024/07/30

(image source: Max Bellomio, @digital_duck on Twitter) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Macrauchenia, a big hoofed mammal that either had a trunk or didn’t, kind of like me when I travel or go to the pool. Either trunks or no trunks. It depends on how lazy I’m feeling. From the Pleistocene epoch, this 10-foot-tall litoptern ungulate was part of a group of mammals unique to South America that died out due to the Great American Interchange and the changing climate. Which means

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33:09

Inostrancevia, of Alexander Inostrantsev

Paleo Bites ·

2024/07/23

(image source: https://www.sci.news/paleontology/south-african-inostrancevia-11935.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Inostrancevia, potentially the largest of the gorgonopsids, which are a super-awesome group of creatures you should be ashamed you haven’t heard of before. Have you not heard of them before? Shame, shame! From the Late Permian, this 14-foot therapsid was the size of a bear, had saber-teeth, potentially fur, and lived millions of years before the first

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26:14

Carcharodontosaurus, the Shark-Toothed Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2024/07/16

(image source: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/zDoGPq) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Carcharodontosaurus, a big super-predator that competed with a croc-jawed dino with a sail and a croc-jawed dino without. Oh, and also a big croc. Good ol’ carchar stood out by not following the croc trend! What a rebel. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 40-foot theropod was one of those unlucky dinosaurs that got blown up twice, once by whatever extinction did it in back in its day and

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25:19

Panthera atrox, the American Lion

Paleo Bites ·

2024/07/09

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_lion) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Panthera atrox, which might also be Panthera leo atrox, making this an extinct subspecies rather than species. Which would be lame. I want differences in my prehistoric monsters! From the Pleistocene epoch, this 7-foot cat is perfectly themed for this great national holiday around this episode’s release… that holiday in question being Canada Day of course. These were in Canada too,

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23:11

Erketu, of the Mongolian Shamanistic God

Paleo Bites ·

2024/07/02

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Erketu-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Erketu, an obscure dinosaur named after a principle deity in Mongolian Shamanism, which means the jokes we make on this episode will surely send us straight to Mongolian hell. From the Late Cretaceous, this 50-foot macronarian sauropod had the longest neck relative to its body of any dinosaur, leading to the aforementioned terrible jokes you all expect us to make that are somehow

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29:37

Leptictidium, the Graceful Weasel

Paleo Bites ·

2024/06/25

(image source: https://walkingwith.fandom.com/wiki/Leptictidium) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Leptictidium, a cute little mammal trying to be a theropod dinosaur, a kangaroo, and a squirrel all in one. Don’t ever say this creature didn’t have goals. From the Early Eocene, this 3-foot leptictidan was part of a family that didn’t leave any descendents and died a terrible and lonely death. Or maybe a peaceful one surrounded by its friends and family. I dunno, I wasn’t

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23:17

Ichthyotitan, the Fish Titan

Paleo Bites ·

2024/06/18

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/inkabg2/art/Ichthyotitan-severnensis-1049125055)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Ichthyotitan, the recently discovered big boy of the early Mesozoic seas that is up there with the biggest boys of all time, along with Perucetus and the modern blue whale. These weren’t just boys. They were men. Whatever that means. Frick the patriarchy. From the Late Triassic, this 85-foot ichthyosaur was a voracious predator akin to an orca, meaning

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26:26

Baryonyx, the Heavy Claw

Paleo Bites ·

2024/06/11

(image source: https://252mya.com/products/baryonyx-walkeri-stock-photo) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Baryonyx, a paramount piscivorous predator with crocodile-like jaws and two very big claws. Yeah, this show can be poetic sometimes. From the Early Cretaceous, this 28-foot spinosaurid theropod has had some high profile appearances in popular culture that have been quite controversial in the paleo community, such as in a famous blockbuster series where it had a few

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25:49

Martharaptor, the Thief of Martha Hayden

Paleo Bites ·

2024/06/04

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/cisiopurple/art/Martharaptor-760488972) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Martharaptor, a lovely creature with a pot belly and long fingernails, kind of like my great aunt Martha. She makes some great cookies, I gotta say. And brownies. Duuuude. From the Early Cretaceous, this 14-foot therizinosaurid was one of the earliest members of its family in North America and closely related to Nothronychus, another one of these dino buggers

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26:32

Lythronax, the Gore King

Paleo Bites ·

2024/05/28

(image source: https://naturerules1.fandom.com/wiki/Lythronax) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Lythronax, a potential contender for one of the edgiest genus names of any dinosaur, right up there with Dynamoterror and Atrociraptor. It’s not enough for these dinosaurs to be scary in appearance; their names have to sound scary too! Gore King! Aaagh! From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot tyrannosaurid’s biggest appearance in pop-culture is probably the Nintendo DS game Fossil

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