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PODCAST

The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Renee Swanson, Bleav

Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:24:26

You’re Always the Problem: The Impossible Reality of...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/07/21

With a covert narcissist, the outcome is always the same: you’re the problem. No matter how gently you speak, how carefully you tread, or how hard you try—somehow, it always comes back to you. That’s not bad communication. That’s emotional abuse wrapped in manipulation, guilt, and gaslighting.In this episode, we walk through a choose-your-own-adventure version of life with a covert narcissist—where every decision leads to blame, confusion, or emotional fallout. Whether it’s handling a parenting

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00:34:43

Shame vs Self: The Invisible Wound Behind...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/07/17

Part one of a 4 part series on Guilt and Shame with guest, Dr. Anthony Mazzella, Psychotherapist & Host of The Narcissism Decoder PodcastWhat if the root of so much emotional pain, self-sabotage, and confusion isn’t who you are—but what you've carried? In this powerful first episode of a two-part series, Renee is joined by Dr. Anthony Mazzella to explore how shame, not arrogance or ego, often sits at the center of narcissistic traits—both in ourselves and in the people who have hurt us. Together,

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00:22:25

Leaving Doesn’t Start with a Go Bag: Why Leaving a...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/07/13

Leaving a covert narcissist isn’t a single event—it’s a process.In this episode, we break down the myth of the dramatic midnight escape and explore the emotional, psychological, and logistical realities that make leaving so complex.If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why didn’t I leave sooner?” or been judged by others for how long it’s taken to get out, this conversation is for you. We’ll talk about the mental rewiring survivors must do, the fear of not being believed, the self-doubt that comes from

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00:20:11

The Covert Narcissist is Just Enough: Why You Stayed...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/07/11

Why do so many people stay in relationships with covert narcissists for years—sometimes decades? This episode is a raw, honest, and deeply validating exploration of the emotional tug-of-war that keeps survivors stuck in toxic dynamics. I open up about my own 20+ year marriage to a covert narcissist—why I stayed, why I didn’t see it sooner, and why that doesn’t mean there was something wrong with me. Because covert narcissists are masters at being “just enough.” Just enough good to make you stay

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00:21:17

Keeping the Peace... at What Cost? How Covert...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/07/06

When you're in a relationship with a covert narcissist, peace is often a performance—maintained at the expense of your own emotional well-being. This episode of The Covert Narcissism Podcast explores how covert narcissists condition those around them to bend, sacrifice, and stay silent just to avoid upsetting them.From partners who tell their kids “just do what your dad wants” to adult children asked to adjust their lives to keep the narcissistic parent happy, this episode exposes the high cost of

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00:22:35

Rent Free in My Head: How Covert Narcissists Keep...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/07/04

You left. You blocked them. You did everything you were “supposed” to do to break free from the covert narcissist in your life.But somehow… they’re still there.In your thoughts.In your inner dialogue.In the way you second-guess yourself when no one’s even around. In this episode, we explore why covert narcissists continue to live “rent free” in your head long after the relationship ends — and how emotional abuse rewires your brain, leaving behind patterns of self-doubt, hypervigilance, and

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00:21:54

Implode or Explode: How Covert Narcissists React When...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/06/29

What happens when you finally speak the truth to a covert narcissist? Whether you’re pointing out a small forgotten chore or confronting them about a huge betrayal, the emotional fallout can feel overwhelming and confusing.In this episode, we’re diving deep into the two most common narcissistic reactions to being called out: the emotional implosion of shame and the defensive explosion of blame. Learn why narcissists either spiral into shame-filled self-pity or launch into rage and

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00:21:17

Is This Really Healing… or Just Behavior Management?...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/06/26

When the yelling stops, the lies fade, and the manipulative games come to a halt… does it mean they are getting better?In this episode, we explore the confusing and disorienting experience of living with someone who has changed their behaviors, but hasn’t done the real emotional work underneath. Drawing a parallel with the concept of a "dry drunk," we’ll unpack why behavior management without inner healing leaves survivors of covert narcissistic abuse still feeling unsafe, unseen, and emotionally

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00:18:33

But Do You Really Care: How Covert Narcissists Fake...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/06/22

Empathy — we all think we know what it means, until we’re in a relationship where it’s missing. Covert narcissists are often skilled at sounding emotionally intelligent. They can say the right words, mirror emotional language, and even cry on cue — but something still feels off. That’s because what they offer isn’t real empathy; it’s a performance.In this episode, we explore the difference between true empathy and intellectual mimicry, revealing how covert narcissists can talk the talk while

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00:31:58

When Addiction, Trauma, and Narcissistic Traits...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/06/19

Are they a covert narcissist or an alcoholic? What if the alcohol goes away? Does this get better? In this candid and thought-provoking conversation, I sit down with Todd Rennebohm, host of Bunny Hugs and Mental Health, to explore the complex intersection of addiction, trauma, emotional dysregulation, and misunderstood behaviors. Todd opens up about his lived experience with substance abuse, undiagnosed ADHD, and the journey from survival mode to genuine healing. Together, we unpack the blurry line

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00:18:54

The Birthday That Broke You: Why Covert Narcissists...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/06/15

You planned everything perfectly — the dinner, the outfit, the guest list.But somehow, your birthday still ended in silence. Or tears. Or walking on eggshells.If you’ve ever felt like your special moments were stolen — you’re not alone.In this episode, we explore why covert narcissists sabotage holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and even simple family gatherings. We’ll dive into the hidden motives behind their emotional sabotage, including control, envy, and resentment — and how their behavior

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00:14:51

What’s in Your Basement? How Childhood Trauma...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/06/12

We all live on the "main floor" of our emotional house—handling relationships, responsibilities, and day-to-day life. But when things break down, the real answers are often hidden in the basement: our childhood. In this episode, I unpack how unresolved childhood trauma silently shapes the way we love, react, and connect as adults. You'll learn why survival responses like people-pleasing, emotional numbing, and fear of closeness aren’t signs of weakness—they’re signs of old wiring that

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00:23:53

How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids Amidst Covert...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/06/08

How do you raise emotionally grounded, self-aware children when you're navigating the chaos and confusion of covert narcissistic abuse — or healing from it yourself?In this powerful episode, we explore what it means to parent with intention, clarity, and compassion in the aftermath of narcissistic harm. Whether you're co-parenting with a narcissist, raising children who were exposed to emotional manipulation, or trying to unlearn toxic patterns from your own childhood, this episode is for you. We

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00:18:49

Nature versus Nurture: Where Did All This Narcissism...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/06/05

Are narcissists born or made? In this foundational episode, we unpack the complex roots of narcissism through the lens of both nature and nurture. We explore how temperament, early childhood environment, and relational trauma interact to shape narcissistic behaviors — and why it’s not always a direct path.You’ll learn: How biological traits like sensitivity or the need for validation can become liabilities in emotionally unsafe environments Why narcissism is often a learned survival

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00:23:43

Fix-It Mode and the Trauma Bond: When Love Becomes...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/06/01

Why is it so hard to leave — even when you know the relationship is toxic?In this powerful episode, we expose the hidden truth behind trauma bonding with a covert narcissist. It’s not just emotional confusion — it’s chemical addiction. You’re not addicted to the person; you’re addicted to the highs, the relief, the dopamine rush that follows emotional chaos. And while you're chasing connection, they’re chasing something else entirely: your Fix-It Mode. We’ll break down the neuroscience of trauma

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00:13:20

Trying Too Hard to Fix It: When Enough Finally...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/05/29

If you’ve been bending over backwards trying to fix a relationship that keeps breaking you… this episode is for you.Today, I’m sharing a personal story about the moment I was asked a question that stopped me in my tracks: “Can you honestly say you’ve done everything you know to do?” That one question made me face the truth — not about the relationship, but about how much of myself I had been pouring into something that couldn’t be repaired by effort alone. In this episode, we explore: Why

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00:22:33

Dreading the Weekend: The Backwards Reality of Covert...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/05/25

If you find yourself dreading the weekend and breathing easier on Monday mornings, you might be living in the upside-down world of covert narcissistic abuse.In this powerful episode, we explore what it’s like to live with a covert narcissist whose presence turns weekends into emotional minefields. While others relax and recharge, you're managing moods, walking on eggshells, and just trying to make it through. We’ll walk through the emotional rhythm of the week — from the sweet relief of Monday

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00:18:10

Are They a Covert Narcissist or Just a Jerk? How to...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/05/22

Are they a covert narcissist—or are they just being a jerk?That’s one of the most common (and most confusing) questions I hear from clients and listeners. In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we break down real-life examples of those cutting, guilt-laced, or backhanded comments that leave you wondering: Was that emotional abuse, passive-aggressive manipulation, or just a bad moment?From relationship red flags like “Must be nice to have that kind of freedom”, to parental guilt trips

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00:21:12

Circular Conversations from Hell: Trapped in the Loop...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/05/18

Ever walk away from a conversation feeling more confused than when you started—like somehow, even though you were calm, kind, and clear, you’re the one apologizing again?Welcome to the maddening world of circular conversations with a covert narcissist. In this episode, we dive into the logic-defying, soul-draining dynamics that keep you stuck in emotional loops—where nothing gets resolved, the goalposts always move, and your reality is constantly twisted. Before you even had the words “covert

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00:16:40

If I Weren’t Talking About Covert Narcissism… I’d Be...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/05/15

In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we take a much-needed breath of fresh air—literally and emotionally.If I weren’t talking about covert narcissism every week, I’d be out in the woods learning survival skills: building fires, navigating with moss, and figuring out which berries won’t kill me. Why? Because sometimes, healing from covert narcissistic abuse means taking a step back to reconnect with who you are outside the trauma. This episode is your invitation to pause the obsessive

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