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PODCAST

Change My Relationship

Change My Relationship offers practical solutions based on biblical truths for all difficult relationships from Karla Downing, Marriage & Family Therapist.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

07:07

Christian Codependency: When It's You or Me

Change My Relationship ·

2025/05/29

Christian codependency means you are a Christian who is codependent at least partially because you hold scriptural misconceptions about what God wants you to do. For everyone who suffers from this, there will be a time if it continues, when you will ask this question: When it's you or me, and I have to choose one or the other, who should I choose? You need to know the answer if you are at that place or if you are heading there. Watch this video to find out what it is. You will be glad you did

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01:05:49

Interview: How You Lose Your Self in a Neurodiverse...

Change My Relationship ·

2025/05/26

Kathleen and Elizabeth discuss how women can lose their sense of self in neurodiverse marriages, both having married men with Asperger's Syndrome. They are the founders of "My Aspie and Me," a private Facebook group for Christian women. They hear women in their group say that they no longer recognize themselves and don't know who they are. Both also experienced a loss of themselves in their marriages. This is a timely topic given the awareness of more women that the problems they have been dealing

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15:36

Therapy Goals for the Abuser

Change My Relationship ·

2025/05/22

This video provides therapists and counselors with a list of goals that the abuser needs if there is any hope of change. Most of the therapy provided for abusers misses some key elements that prevent lasting change. If you are in an abusive relationship, please watch to learn what your abuser has to do. #therapygoals #personalgrowth #toxicrelationship Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube:

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13:29

Change Your Thoughts to Change Your Life

Change My Relationship ·

2025/05/19

Did you know that you can change your thoughts to change your life? You can, and it will have an immediate effect on your feelings and actions. It isn't difficult. If you are struggling with behaviors you cannot change, emotions that are sabotaging your life, or relationships that are stuck in a rut, watch this video to find out how to change your thoughts to change your life. #thoughts #thoughtsfeelings #changeyourlife Here is the link to download the chart to change your thinking:

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10:46

Setting Boundaries: Know the Difference Between a...

Change My Relationship ·

2025/05/15

Setting boundaries is difficult when you are confused about what each person is responsible for, but if you know the difference between a burden and a load in Galatians 6:2-5, it gives you a helpful guideline. Because limits are different for each person and all individual factors have to be taken into consideration, it helps to have an objective test. If you struggle with setting Christian boundaries, watch this video to know the difference between a burden and a load. #christianboundaries

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01:00:39

Interview: How I Found Life While Grieving the Loss...

Change My Relationship ·

2025/05/12

In 2017, Christine’s husband John died suddenly following what should have been a routine operation. They had been married 24 years, and their daughter was 18 at the time. Less than three years after her husband’sdeath, both of Christine’s parents died, adding more layers to her grief. In this interview, she describes her intentional grieving process and the things that helped her to survive and thrive, or "surthrive" as she called it. Christine is a licensed marriage and family therapist who

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21:48

How to Detach from Addicts and Alcoholics

Change My Relationship ·

2025/05/08

If you have addicts and alcoholics in your life, you need to learn how to detach. If you don't, you may find yourself trying to force them to get sober and losing yourself in the process. Without the ability to separate yourself from their addiction and alcoholism, you can become obsessed with fixing them. You may find yourself feeling afraid and angry and wondering why you are not capable of convincing the person you care about to make better choices. If this sounds like you, watch this video to

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11:36

How to Detach When You Fear Abandonment

Change My Relationship ·

2025/05/05

If you fear abandonment, you probably don't know how to detach. Detaching is about separating yourself from other people's opinions, emotions, reactions, choices, blame, threats, and more. That's hard to do when you need to be attached to people to feel okay. The problem is that you will be even more dependent on what they do, feel, and think, so you desperately need to be able to separate yourself. Watch this video to learn how you can detach even though you struggle with the fear of abandonment

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10:28

Detaching from Enablers

Change My Relationship ·

2025/05/01

Detaching from enablers is necessary when they are providing the means for people you care about to continue in their addiction and irresponsible behavior. It is hard enough to set your own boundaries with your loved one doing things you cannot support but when other people enable, you need to figure out how to respond to them too. Watch this video to help you to respond the right way. #addiction #detaching #irresponsible #enablers Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook:

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07:43

Detaching: I'm Okay When You're Not Okay

Change My Relationship ·

2025/04/28

Do you find yourself unable to detach and unable to function well in your own life when someone close to you is not okay? You don't have to live that way. This video will show you how to detach with love so you can say, "I'm okay when you're not okay." #detachment #difficultrelationship #dysfunctionalrelationship #beingok #healthyrelationshipsWebsite: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube:

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01:07:20

There is Purpose In My Pain and Yours

Change My Relationship ·

2025/04/21

Letitia Iona's first marriage was dysfunctional. When it was obvious that her children were negatively impacted, she knew she had to divorce. After moving to Tennessee to relocate as a single mom, she met her second husband and was excited about their new life together. Shortly after the honeymoon, he was angry, verbally abusive, and avoidant. Letitia shares her journey through divorce, single motherhood, a verbally abusive marriage, and family relocation. Through each trial, she uncovered God's

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13:35

Why Do You Believe Their Lies?

Change My Relationship ·

2025/04/17

When you are dealing with chronic liars, it is infuriating and hard to believe that despite the many promises to never lie again, they do. You probably ask why and how it could happen. But more importantly for you to figure out is "Why do you believe their lies?" #chronicliars #dysfunctionalrelationship #healthyrelationshipsteps #toxicrelationships #boundaries #dysfunctionaldynamicsWebsite: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube:

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12:04

Setting Boundaries: Determine Who Is Responsible

Change My Relationship ·

2025/04/14

Setting boundaries isn't easy because a relationship has so many variables. Because of that, it is helpful to have specific components to focus on. One of those is to determine who is responsible for what. Once you know those things, it is easier to figure out what your limits should be. Watch this video on setting boundaries to learn how to determine who is responsible. #responsibilty #settingboundaries #Christianboundaries Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook:

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07:55

Are You Forcing a Solution or Setting a Boundary?

Change My Relationship ·

2025/04/10

What is the difference between forcing a solution where you are trying to control someone's behavior and setting a boundary where you are drawing a limit for yourself? Watch this video to get the answer to that question. #difficultrelationship #boundaries #controllingWebsite: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/iGUGfs-WAsw

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16:12

Abigail Did Not Submit to Her Husband Nabal

Change My Relationship ·

2025/04/07

Abigail did not submit to her husband Nabal when he refused to help David and his men. This biblical story provides submission principles women can use to confidently say no to things that violate their consciences. #difficultrelationships #toxicrelationship #dysfunctionalrelationship #scripturalmisunderstandings Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube:

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13:04

Be Curious About the Other Person

Change My Relationship ·

2025/04/03

It isn't easy to listen to someone saying things you disagree with. It is hard to hear someone is upset with you, and even harder to not receive it as an attack and defend yourself. It takes self-restraint to focus on what is being said when your emotions are out of control. Defensiveness and reactivity are primary reasons that conflict escalates and isn't resolved. There is an approach that can make it easier for you to listen, and that is to be curious about the other person. Watch this video to

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18:30

Be Curious About Yourself

Change My Relationship ·

2025/03/31

People are often out of touch with what is going on with themselves. This leads to problems in their lives and relationships. Whether it is feeling an emotion, problem-solving a situation, making a decision, or resolving a conflict, it helps to be self-aware. Not knowing what and why you are acting and reacting the way you are means you lack valuable insight. The alternative is to be curious about yourself. Watch this video to find out how you can do that to improve your life and

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12:03

Can You Lose God's Forgiveness for Unforgiveness?

Change My Relationship ·

2025/03/27

Dysfunctional people do all kinds of hurtful things and rarely ask for forgiveness. It is common to struggle with forgiveness because there are so many hurtful things done. The Bible tells us that God doesn't forgive us when we don't forgive our offenders, but does this really mean you aren't forgiven? #forgiveness #boundaries #toxicrelationships #dysfunctionalrelationship #emotionalhealing Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook:

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50:30

Our Son's Eight-Year Journey Through Heroin Addiction

Change My Relationship ·

2025/03/24

Greg and Edie describe their son's eight-year journey through heroin addiction which impacts the family in profound ways. They describe how it disrupted their lives and how they grappled with the difficult and scary decisions of how much to help. They share the tools they learned that gave them wisdom, health, and peace. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, 40.3 million people in the United States had a substance abuse disorder in 2020. This means that at least two family members

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18:45

What Is Double Abuse®?

Change My Relationship ·

2025/03/20

Abuse victims often experience a lack of support and mistreatment when they describe what is happening to them. This lack of support is labeled as "Double Abuse" by Annette Oltmans of The Mend Project. Find out what Double Abuse is and why it is harmful to the victim. #dysfunctionalrelationship #abusevictims #doubleabuse #toxicrelationshiprecovery Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube:

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