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PODCAST

Change My Relationship

Change My Relationship offers practical solutions based on biblical truths for all difficult relationships from Karla Downing, Marriage & Family Therapist.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

7:49

How Not to Be Resentful

Change My Relationship ·

2026/04/13

Do you find yourself frequently feeling resentful about what other people did or make you do? Resentment isn't a fun feeling and it can interfere with your enjoyment of life. Watch this video on how not to be resentful.Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/g9eaW7kAXSY

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12:08

Dysfunctional Families: Relationship Problems Are Not...

Change My Relationship ·

2026/04/09

Have you been receiving Christian marriage and relationship advice from counselors, pastors, family, and friends that you are fifty percent responsible for your part in the relationship problems? Have you been told just to give 100% of everything you can and let God deal with the other person? Or maybe that it takes two to fight? Or even if your spouse doesn’t do their part that you have to do yours? Hearing those responses is frustrating, dismissive, and even infuriating when you are stuck in a

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14:00

Do You Admit Wrongdoing or Do You Rationalize Your...

Change My Relationship ·

2026/04/06

It's not easy to admit wrongdoing when it is pointed out to you. The natural reaction is to rationalize your actions. It matters how you react because it affects your relationships with everyone, including God. It may seem like an unimportant issue, but it isn't. You know how frustrated and exasperated you feel when someone refuses to take responsibility and instead uses blame-shifting. Watch this video to find out how you can admit your wrongdoing and stop rationalizing your actions. Accountability

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13:06

Focus on Living Your Life in Spite of Your...

Change My Relationship ·

2026/04/02

If you are in a dysfunctional relationship, you are probably focused on the other person's life and not on your own. You may be trying to rescue and fix, because if you don't, nothing for you will change. This may have been going on for so long that you don't even remember what it was like to feel carefree enough to focus on yourself. The problem is that if you don't pay attention to yourself, you could lose too much time because there is no guarantee that there will ever be any change. And even if

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10:14

Manipulative Set Ups

Change My Relationship ·

2026/03/30

Manipulative setups by manipulators are purposeful acts that force you into a dilemma that is then exploited to get what the manipulator wants.Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/5RgUFicVFYo

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22:20

What Is Causing the Epidemic of Parental Estrangement?

Change My Relationship ·

2026/03/26

There is an epidemic of parental estrangement, but what are the causes? Your adult child refuses to have anything to do with you and doesn't let you see your grandchild. This is in spite of all the things you have done for your child and all the sacrifices you have made. You don't know the reason is and you can't get an answer. You are devastated. But you are also confused. How could this be happening? What could cause so many adult children to walk away from a relationship with their parents? Why

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78:37

How to Protect and Support Children When Divorcing an...

Change My Relationship ·

2026/03/23

There are many reasons that it is difficult to divorce an abuser, but one of the most important is concern over how the children will be impacted. The fear can be enough to prevent abuse victims from taking the steps to move forward. It is for this reason that Tawni Carney and Karla Downing share personal and professional experience from their ministry with domestic abuse survivors on how to protect and support children when divorcing an abuser. They identify common problems that arise with

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9:28

Do You Have to Resolve the Past to Move Forward in a...

Change My Relationship ·

2026/03/19

Dysfunctional and toxic relationships have many relationship problems that go unresolved indefinitely. When evaluating how to resolve conflict, you need to consider whether there is a possibility of relationship healing, given the ability of both parties to discuss the issues. Many times, one person wants to resolve them, and the other does not. One person can listen to and understand the other, and the other cannot. One can take responsibility and be accountable for their choices, and the other

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9:13

Manipulative Promises

Change My Relationship ·

2026/03/16

Emotional manipulators make promises and give you gifts to get you to do what they want. You need to recognize when these promises and gifts are being used to get you to give in to the manipulators demands.Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/IqIII8W5lZg

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17:53

How to Help a Family Member with Mental Illness

Change My Relationship ·

2026/03/12

It is difficult to have a family member with mental illness. There are some basic principles you can follow that will help you increase the chance of improved mental health. There are also things you can do that will make it worse. You need to know what to do and not do. You care about your family member with mental illness, but you also have to care about yourself and the rest of the family. Everyone matters. There needs to be a balance between the needs of the person struggling with mental health

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94:55

Love Should Never Do Harm and How the Church Gets It...

Change My Relationship ·

2026/03/09

Tawni shares her story of survival in an abusive marriage and her healing journey after her decision to divorce. She and Karla discuss how the Church gets it wrong by responding to abuse victims in a way that often causes more pain. They identify common phrases that, sometimes unknowingly, twist Bible verses and lead to misunderstandings the right way to respond. The hidden message is often one that produces guilt and over-responsibility for the victim. They also offer suggestions on how to support

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9:36

Dysfunctional Families: How to Manage Anxiety Over...

Change My Relationship ·

2026/03/05

In dysfunctional families, people do a lot of things that are unhealthy and destructive. Watching them causes anxiety because of the harm they can do to themselves, you, others, and the relationship. The obsession with changing them can be all-consuming if left unchecked. It can even make you physically and emotionally sick.The solution is to manage anxiety over others' choices. There are things you can do that will make it easier. Your life doesn't have to be ruled by things outside your control,

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9:49

Getting Mentally Ill People to Medicate

Change My Relationship ·

2026/03/02

Getting mentally ill people to medicate is a frustrating experience. Yet, they have to in order to get better and be more independent. Watch this video to look at the real-life options you have. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LnH3ylmyJBc

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14:27

The Stigma of Mental Illness in the Church

Change My Relationship ·

2026/02/26

Unfortunately, the stigma of mental illness in the church still exists in various ways. People hold misconceptions about the cause and treatment, which makes it harder for those struggling with mental health. Some of these misconceptions can cause actual harm because they prevent people from speaking up and from getting the treatment they need. It is important to understand scriptural truth about what causes mental illness and what is required to treat it. Whether you struggle with mental illness

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88:22

Interview: Understanding the Maze of Confusion in...

Change My Relationship ·

2026/02/23

Have you ever felt lost in conversations where resolution seems out of reach? Have you wondered why every attempt you make to explain is met with roadblocks that leave you even more frustrated? If so, you might be encountering what Annette Oltmans of The Mend Project calls "The Maze of Confusion." The Maze of Confusion is a strategy used by emotional abusers to derail genuine communication. By weaving a complex web of distractions and dead ends, they prevent meaningful dialogue, leaving their

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13:09

Don't Go to Christian Marriage Conferences or Read...

Change My Relationship ·

2026/02/19

If you are a Christian in a dysfunctional, toxic marriage, you are desperate for Christian marriage advice. When you see marriage books or conferences by Christian authors and speakers, you are willing to buy the books and attend the conferences. You try to apply their ideas, even if your spouse isn't. There is only one problem: not everyone who offers you advice understands what you are going through. Some of their ideas can make your situation worse. You even have to be careful when you seek out

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8:34

Evaluate, Not Invalidate

Change My Relationship ·

2026/02/16

Self-evaluation is healthy and necessary. The problem is that codependents, including Christian codependents, tend to take too much responsibility and end up invalidating themselves. This video will show you how to evaluate, not invalidate yourself. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/wYvGZaLQf6I

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17:29

Soul Ties: What Are They? Are They Biblical?

Change My Relationship ·

2026/02/12

People in the church have adopted the idea of soul ties. They are believed to explain the strong connections between people that are difficult to break. It is important to analyze whether this is true or whether there are other explanations for them that make as much or more sense.They are also presented as biblical, but are they? Is there evidence of them in Scripture? Knowing scriptural truth about them is essential. Just because they are presented that way doesn't mean they are. Understanding

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6:22

Let the Sun Go Down on Your Wrath

Change My Relationship ·

2026/02/09

Do you believe you should deal with the situations that make you angry before you go to sleep at night? Ephesians 4:26 tells us to be angry and not sin. That may mean you should go to sleep without confronting. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/FcWI8PUSvak

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12:43

Does God Want You to Suffer?

Change My Relationship ·

2026/02/05

Does God want us to suffer? Christians say many things, giving the impression that He does. We hear that God brings suffering to make us rely on Him. We hear that God wants us to grow and mature through trials. We also hear that God is glorified through our suffering. There are Bible verses that teach all those things. If God wants us to suffer and it brings out so much good, should we seek out ways to suffer? Is it okay to do what we can to end our own suffering? Is every type of suffering the

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254 results

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