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PODCAST

Crunch Wears No Pants

It"s like Wolves Twitter, but in audio form. Every other week, hosts Jordan, Brandon, and Nate break down the vibes of the Minnesota Timberwolves (because real sports journalism is DEAD), debate hyper-niche Timberwolves topics, and play Timberwolves-centric games that only ride or die Wolves fans would care about. Long live Jimmy"s Dips and JoMomma"s Salsa.

sports basketball

All Episodes

61:41

The Rudy Gobert Apology Episode + The Same First Name...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/12/08

hey hotties - this episode we basically just fawn over how good Rudy Gobert is. We also give an update on Panty Nation Member of the Year Standings, as well as the recent uptick in Communist Wolves memes. We also do another draft lmao we do the "Same First Name as the Starters" Draft, which means we've either ascended or are scraping the bottom of the barrel. We love the Wolves. What a time to be a Wolves fan.

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56:17

Cast a Wolf, In Defense of Banning Stupid Charges,...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/12/01

What's poppin Panty People. If you're willing and able, please consider donating to Kai's Mom's GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/48c15f9aKai is a beloved member of Wolves Twitter and is such a ray of sunshine in our digital community. You may have seen him at the CND NBA Show Live Show Extravaganza, and you've def seen his work outside of Parkway Pizza (HOOOONK!). If cash is tight for you, please lift up Kai's family in your thoughts and prayers.*non-sequitur* on this episode, Brandon and Durf

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71:20

The Sustainability of the Wolves' Success (Pt.2),...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/11/22

Today, a Wolves Twitter and TikTok legend joins the show: WolvesHotBoxScores! Jordan offends him by calling him a duck! And then Jordan kills the vibes with unfounded anxiety around how good the Timberwolves are. The gang also chat with WolvesHotBoxScores about the state of the Timberwolves, KAT's recent successes, and even MORE reasons to believe why the Timberwolves are legit. Oh yeah, we also discussed a secretly hot former Timberwolf. The gang then share a bunch of basketball and

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60:06

Wolves Beyond: Live from the Back of the Top the...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/11/18

We recorded this episode in the back of the Top the Tater Van in a parking lot down by the river in Stillwater lmao what in tarnation is goin on. What an experience. On this episode, this gentlemen look back fondly on the Wolves' first seven game win streak in 20 years while also giving their perspectives on the fight, instigated by stupid DRAYMOND! The gentlemen also figure out what we could get in a trade for KAT, since everyone agrees that we wouldn't even be able to get picks for him

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62:12

Reasons to Believe in Sustained Timberwolves Success...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/11/10

What's up, hotties. We actually went deep on hoops this episode lol I think it's actually serious hoops talk. Brandon details why he's changed his mind on this year's Timberwolves team and why he thinks there is reason to believe in sustained success. We also revived our ChatGPT script-generating bit "Timbertales", which is what the WGA was fighting against. Also, Jordan makes the case to retire D'Angelo Russell's jersey outta nowhere. Have a great day, you're awesome.

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55:00

THE HOWLER EPISODE + The Frankenplayer Draft

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/11/02

The season has started and we are talkin HOOPS baby, mostly through the Howler. Which, if you didn't know, is the #1 fan giveaway item in Timberwolves history and is available to the first 15k fans to pull up to the 11/8 game vs the Pelicans, which will also be the first Classic Edition game of the year. The fellas talk about the first three games of the season, including * THAT GAME *, as well as discuss the KAT/Ant difficulties. Bwandon, Nate, and Jordan also assemble a player in the

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61:27

Season Predictions and the Wolves Things Bracket

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/10/25

Oh my goodness, a basketball podcast with a predictions episode. Who saw it coming?! We over leaguewide stuff as well as some Timberwolves-centric thoughts. Idk if you heard, but the Wolves are back. Please go vote on the Wolves Things bracket on Twitter (@NoPantsCrunch). Long live Lou Amundson.

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65:14

Scoops that Never Were, the Big Things Draft, and...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/10/17

WE ARE JOINED BY THE ILLUSTRIOUS AND ICONIC PAUL MEATSAUCE LAMBERT FROM THE POWER TRIP MORNING SHOW ON 100.3 KFAN. On this episode, Paul regales us with the Timberwolves scoops he's received that never came to fruition, as well as his unbridled hate for a beloved TImberwolves legend. He's also just a great guy with great takes on the Wolves, which you'll hear. Additionally, Paul gets in on our yearly Over/Unders bet. We also do the Big Things draft, which is literally just us drafting

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60:32

The CND NBA Show Wears No Pants Live Show Pizza Party...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/10/13

OUR FIRST LIVE SHOW. MY GOODNESS. Chelanga, Brandon, and Nate held it down at the gorgeous Parkway Pizza to bring the CND NBA Show Wears No Pants crossover madness to Northeast. Thank you all for coming out. If you missed it, we had Jonny K to discuss the nitty gritty of the Wolves roster, Leonard Miller, and LeBron to the Wolves steam. He also fielded some listener questions about the state of MN sports and whether or not the Wolves could become MN's team. Later on in the show, we pitch

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64:43

Vit Krejci, Shake Milton's Birthday Cake, and The...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/09/27

S2E1 HAS FINALLY ARRIVED. Sorry about not doing those off season episodes we talked about doing lol we were busy and tired. Stoked to be back gang. In this one, we discuss how we prophesized the Vit Krejci signing, Shake Milton's frosting-less birthday cake, what we're excited about this season, plus we do the worst vibes draft, which is where we try to assemble the worst and most cursed assembly of Timberwolves-adjacent things. Love you guys big time. Big love to Lamb Chops, UNRL, and Duke

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83:15

The CND NBA Show Wears No Pants Supershow Extravaganza

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/07/19

Long have we waited... it's time for the most serious Timberwolves podcast of all time. Brandon, Nate, and Jordan joined forces with Chelanga and Dylan of the CND NBA Show to go deep on Timberwolves free agency, the draft, summer league, the nature of being Italian, Jar Jar Bink, The Whale, and so much more. I'm not really sure how to describe it but it's one of the pods of all time. Tony B, we know what you did. Netglow and Jonah: I promise we will have you on eventually.

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73:17

The Official Crunch Wears No Pants Season End No...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/05/24

My bad, Panty Nation. We recorded this a week and a half ago and I finally was able to edit it. We celebrate THE OFFICIAL CRUNCH WEARS NO PANTS SEASON END NO PANTS ALLOWED RECOGNITION SEGMENT AWARD SHOW and give out end of season awards, as well as shout out some of our favorite members of Wolves twitter! We also talk about how Minnesota is still, miraculously, still holding back D'Angelo Russell, the Jaden McDaniels All-Defensive snub, and more. LOVE YOU

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98:28

What do the Wolves do now? Reflection on the 2022-23...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/04/28

Here we are. Together. At the end. After a week and a half of games starting at 945pm, the gentlemen power through exhaustion (both physical and emotional) to discuss the series loss vs the Nuggets, as well as the insanely chaotic 2022-23 season. We also relitigate season 1 of the two bigs experiment while also showering love all over the growth of Anthony Edwards, as well as the song "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven. The gentlemen then briefly go over their favorite season moments, fawn over

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77:24

Attempted Silver Linings of Game 1 vs the Nuggets,...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/04/18

Well, here we are. The Timberwolves got decimated in game 1 vs the Denver Nuggets. We try to find the silver linings but it's mostly a lot of talking about what went wrong, with a sprinkling of optimism every few sentences. We also discuss things that ACTUALLY went well during the Play In Games, as well as give our official Crunch Wears No Pants NBA Finals Predictions. @NoPantsCrunch on social media hotties, see you there. Long live Pulltab Sports.

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82:26

The Wolves Have Never Been As Back As They Are At...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/03/28

what's crackin hotties. oh my god. the timberwolves are so frickin back. we talk about the euphoria of the Golden State Warriors game and then, since we precorded, made predictions for the game against the Sacramento Kings. We also discuss the return of Karl-Anthony Towns and how his successful reintegration is probably the result of something that will get us cancelled by D'Angelo Russell stans on Twitter. We also break down how the Minnesota Timberwolves' schedule looks for the remainder

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82:50

Do We Want the Smoke? Playoffs Edition, Crunch's...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/03/17

Hey hotties. On this episode, we discuss how the Timberwolves are the most .500 team of all time. We also shower praise all over our beloved Kyle Anderson, as well as inquire into the West's playoffs standings and figure out who we want the smoke with. We also engage in another two table reads with TimberTales, which as you can recall, is the bit where we type script ideas into ChatGPT and then it spits it out back at us. They are WEIRD. Please let us know if you like or hate this bit. And

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93:21

Frank Garza joins to talk about Luka and the...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/03/03

WHAT'S POPPIN PANTY PEOPLE TODAY FRANK GARZA TO TALK TO US ABOUT HIS SON, LUKA! As well as the parallels between basketball and life. This man just rattles off so many gems you'll be like "oh damn, this guy is awesome and insightful." That starts around 40 minutes in! Before that, we discuss the post-All Star Break Timberwolves, the early returns on Mike Conley and NAW, and debut the greatest bit in Timberwolves podcast history where we type in prompts in ChatGPT to spit out ridiculous

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88:58

The Timberwolves Dating Game + Our NEW Friend Mike...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/02/20

WHAT'S POPPIN PANTY PEOPLE, this week on the show we say goodbye to our beloved D'Angelo Russell while also welcoming our NEW friend, Mike Conley. We break down the discourse around the trade, the pros and cons of each player/the move, and what we can expect from a Conley-fied Wolves team going forward. We also discuss the landscape of the Western Conference and where we think the Wolves will net out, and then, finally: Durf takes us through an all time Timberwolf dating game. We have many

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84:38

Making sense of All Star Snubs, National Media Bias,...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/02/03

PLEASE WELCOME CHELANGA LANGASON FROM THE CND NBA SHOW AND ZONE COVERAGE DOT COM TO THE POD! If you like our pod, you'll like their pod, we have formed an alliance. On today's episode, the fellas get the displeasure of reacting live to Anthony Edwards' all star stubs. They also do their best to make sense of the mean and bad faith shenanigans of the national media against our beloved Minnesota Timberwolves. Then, to wrap up the show, the gang discuss the Last of Us on HBO Max (use promo

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84:55

Reasons to Be Optimistic + The Wolves Villains Draft...

Crunch Wears No Pants ·

2023/01/24

the gentlemen are BACK! Vibes are discussed, Durf and Beck finally wear down Jordan's D-Lo standom while also discussing the silver linings of the season thus far. Brandon also decides to lift the trade talk embargo, which is mostly just us fawning over Mike Conley. Then the gentlemen engage in the Wolves Villains draft, where they draft, you guessed it, Timberwolves Villains (LIKE DOH ED MALLOY and his big, wet mouth). Drive safe, hotties. We love you as much as we love JoMomma's Salsa and

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