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PODCAST

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class Counselors who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you"re struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We"ve been there. We"ll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you"re married to an addict—we KNOW

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All Episodes

40:01

HOW Does an Addict Get to Real, Lasting SEXUAL &...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/06/25

Episode 234 comes in response to TWO situations/questions sent to PBSE by porn/sex addicts in recovery. Here’s a brief overview of each—The first has been addicted to porn since he was 14 and is now well into his adult years. He was in a relationship for 3 years before disclosing his addiction. In his own words he says—Since then I have lied about recovery; was in active addiction while supposedly practicing recovery; gaslit, verbally and psychologically abused my partner for years. I lied in...

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32:37

What’s the Point in Staying with a Porn/Sex Addict?...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/06/18

In Episode 233, Mark & Steve respond to a very heart-felt submission from a betrayed partner, who asks some very hard questions about her relationship with a partner who is a porn/sex addict in recovery. Here's what she submitted to PBSE—Hi Mark and Steve, I’m feeling a lot of apathy in my marriage and I don’t understand the point in staying. I’ve been with my husband for two years and married for less than six months. We have been separated for two weeks now because he has kept relapsing

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33:02

The PBSE/Dare to Connect Approach vs 12-Step Support...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/06/11

In PBSE Episode 232, Mark & Steve respond to a listener's experience and questions with regard to the approach to Betrayal Trauma healing that PBSE and Dare to Connect take, vs. the experience in 12-Step groups. Here's what the partner of a porn/sex addict submitted to PBSE—Is it me or are the approaches of partner-oriented 12-step fellowships the opposite of the recovery approach taken in PBSE podcasts? The podcasts are all about connection and boundaries. The partner’s 12-step fellowshi...

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32:28

Because He’s a Sex Addict—even in Real Recovery—I...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/06/04

Episode 231 comes in response to a very raw and real submission by a PBSE listener who is the partner of a sex addict. Here's what she vulnerably expressed—I’m the partner of a sex/porn addict who has a 3-4 year history of lying about being in “recovery.” Even to sponsors, men groups & therapists. My experience has always been my discovery, never his disclosure, and death by a thousand cuts over the years. He states he is now “taking his recovery seriously.” That’s to be seen. I’m not wri...

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38:57

What Does “Real Restitution” for Serious Betrayal in...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/05/28

In Episode 230, the betrayed parter of a porn/sex addict submitted her situation and some questions to PBSE surrounding the CRITICAL issue of "restitution." Here's how she expressed it—Over the course of our 25 year long marriage, my husband had two emotional affairs, a decade and a half long porn addiction and a 2 year long physical and emotional affair with a coworker. I was completely blindsided—no inklings or gut feelings. It has been brutal but we are working hard to heal. He has

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37:13

Do I Have to Accept that my Addict Partner, even in...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/05/21

In Episode 229, Mark & Steve answer some very TOUGH questions asked by a partner seeking to heal from the betrayal trauma caused by her porn/sex addicted partner. Here's what she sent in to PBSE:Do I just have to accept he can never be faithful? That an addict will always be an addict so he will always have to fight the want of others? There will always be temptation but recovery means being able to face it and not let it overpower? I don't want that. I don't want urges and

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37:20

As a Partner, I’m Falling and Drowning—HOW DO I STOP!...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/05/14

In Episode 228, Mark & Steve get SUPER passionate talking to the partners of porn/sex addicts! Over the past several weeks, PBSE has received a number of heart-wrenching submissions by listeners who are partners falling and drowning in the overwhelming intensity of betrayal trauma and being in a relationship with a porn/sex addict. Unfortunately, in all of these submissions, the porn/sex addicted partner is choosing to come at the whole issue with one or more of the following—denial,

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36:26

I Need My Sex Addict Partner be “all-in” with...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/05/07

In Episode 227, Mark & Steve respond to an amazing submission from a PBSE listener who is facing an incredibly hard, overwhelming and toxic situation in her relationship with her sex/porn addict partner. One of the things that was so impressive about her submission is how balanced and reasonable she was in describing her partner and the situation. She did NOT "throw him under the bus," but simply stated what has been happening and the impact it has and is having on her. Because the

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39:21

How Can I Share my Authentic Feelings when my Addict...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/04/30

In Episode 226, a PBSE listener asks a very common question about her interactions with her porn/sex addicted partner:Hello, I just recently started listening to your podcast and I was wondering if you have, or if you could talk about, how to approach communicating our authentic feelings when our porn addict partner also struggles with depression … I'm always too scared to be fully transparent with him about what I'm feeling because I worry it will make him spiral to a very dark place … I

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36:44

Can Porn/Sex Addicts be Habitual Liars—even about...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/04/23

Episode 225 comes from a heart-felt submission by the partner of a porn/sex addict. She reports that he is in solid, serious recovery, but he just can't find a way to become consistently honest! Here's part of what she submitted—It's just a default position (lying) that he takes to everything, whether about his addiction history or about nothing at all. I understand that this is part of their recovery journey, but I can't take it anymore and I am thinking of divorce… if they are

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32:25

Should We Consider a “Sex Fast”? And IF so, HOW do we...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/04/16

In Episode 224, Mark & Steve discuss a topic that many couples face—the addict in recovery is trying to stay sober from his use of porn and other sex addiction outlets. At the same time, his partner is seeking her own path of betrayal trauma healing. in the midst of their individual efforts is the issue of their "sexual relationship." How can a couple balance his recovery/sobriety and her healing, while also navigating the role that sexual intimacy has and will have in their

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34:07

Now that my Sex/Porn Addiction is Out in the Open, my...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/04/09

In episode 223, Mark & Steve address a submission by a PBSE listener who is in long-term recovery from his porn and sex addiction. At the same time, after many years of gaslighting, lying and multiple layers of betrayal, his spouse is understandably and significantly struggling in the relationship. Here's how he describes the situation—Hey guys! Recovering addict here, coming up on a year of sobriety. First off, I just want to say I take full responsibility for the complete destruction

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33:41

Both Partners Have a Porn Addiction History. One is...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/04/02

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35:54

How Can "Love" and "Attraction" Evolve Through...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/03/26

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30:10

How Can my Family & Friends Support Me & My Partner...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/03/19

In Episode 220, Mark & Steve talk about a challenge in porn/sex addiction and betrayal trauma healing that is all about a "third party"—the family and friends of the addict and partner. Here's a situation submitted by a PBSE listener—Hey guys. Would you consider doing a podcast episode about advice for friends or family trying to support the addict and/or the betrayed partner? It’s like I want to send my friends a guide around [how they can support me] Eg: being “supportive no

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35:28

I Have Habitually, Continually Lied to My Partner! Is...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/03/12

In Episode 219, Mark & Steve get super passionate in addressing a heart-felt, yet tragic submission from a PBSE listener. Here's what he had to say—Hi, I would love it if you guys could do a podcast around the effects of years of lies and trickle truths on a full disclosure? I've been a PA for 18 years roughly and i've had a hard time coming to terms with my addiction and its consequences. My partner and i have been together 4 years and she found out 1.5 years ago that I was being

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33:20

As an Addict, are you “Weaponizing your Weaknesses”...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2024/03/05

In Episode 218, we address two similar questions that we received from partners who are in betrayal trauma healing as a result of their addict spouse's sex/porn addiction behaviors. Here's an excerpt from each of the questions submitted—Partner #1—My husband and I have been together for 3 years. In late 2022, I found out he had been emotional cheating/porn-using our entire relationship. It continued until the fall of 2023. I have given him feedback on what I need from him to start

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