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PODCAST

Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn"t think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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All Episodes

60:37

Cometh the quinquennium, cometh the pod

Football Cliches ·

2025/01/23

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Football Cliches podcast's fifth anniversary. The agenda includes: a Serie A commentary tribute from an unexpected source, the 1990 version of “if Lionel Messi did that, we’d all be raving about it”, yet another Premier League name in a true-crime documentary, co-commentator Gary Breen plucks some Barry Manilow out of nowhere, a one-time-only return for Premier League Years Playlist Bingo and a celebration of half a decade of having

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56:28

Has the Premier League hit peak “What a job [Manager...

Football Cliches ·

2025/01/20

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: more sub-standard depictions of football fans in advertising, football commentators’ names in Anglo-Australian crime dramas, the greatest substitution in the history of the Scottish Cup, the perennial joy of a stadium exclaiming something in perfect unison and a pedantic observation on Phil Foden's goal celebration.Meanwhile, the panel ponder the question: is this the most “what a

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60:30

Portrait-aspect football & England managers in the...

Football Cliches ·

2025/01/16

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Chloe Petts to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are how football improves our basic maths, players' pointless pre-match Instagram content, a half-time dad joke from an Evertonian, the overrated significance of the England manager attending a game, the "portraitification of

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49:40

WW2 with Ray Parlour, Tamworth's global appeal & the...

Football Cliches ·

2025/01/14

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a cultural review of the FA Cup third round, Ray Parlour sums up the Second World War in 16 superb seconds, someone finally reveals who the best footballer in the world was in 1863, the Sam Allardici of building materials and the worst fake football commentary ever heard in the background of a Korean Netflix drama.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and

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44:47

Trip-hop Liam Delap, the terminal velocity of a lob &...

Football Cliches ·

2025/01/09

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Nick Miller and, for his 250th Cliches appearance, David Walker. On the agenda: Newcastle having “a little toe” in the Carabao Cup final, an updated cast list for the Roy Keane/Mick McCarthy film, whether a lob could ever "rattle the crossbar", a Liam Delap penalty that sounds like late-90s trip-hop, a defence of Ferencvaros' credentials as "giants”, some accidental footballspeak when switching broadband providers and much more.Meanwhile,

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43:53

The first embers of a game, heavy-metal Jonathan...

Football Cliches ·

2025/01/07

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the first Adjudication Panel of 2025. On the agenda: Richard Keys and Dwight Yorke disagree over Harry Maguire's 0.62xG miss, Don Goodman invents a new mid-game mini time period, Jonathan Pearce sounding like Axl Rose, a never-before-uttered animal analogy for a veteran goalgetter, a perfect hat-trick of Andy Townsending, Ange Postecoglou's barely-contained rage, a barman who has memorised every Premier League result ever and some

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88:16

”Listen, fair play": The Best of Football Clichés in...

Football Cliches ·

2024/12/30

Ally McCoist on the animal kingdom, footballers' names in 1980s detective series, commentators answering their own rhetorical questions, the “bit of both” cultural revolution, Gary Lineker on the pod, some vintage Andy Townsend, the Pure European Championship XI, the career paths of Mick McCarthy and Steve Coogan finally colliding, Charlie Eccleshare’s iconic Talksport welcome, Richard Keys’s voice in things, a titanic but slapstick quiz battle against the Football Ramble and accidentally operatic

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77:02

The Football Cliches Quiz XVI: Career We Go - The...

Football Cliches ·

2024/12/24

The Football Clichés Quiz returns - and it's a niche footballing trivia rematch with the quiz specialists from the Career We Go podcast.The questions include: Exotically named offspring of Barclays-era flops, Boxing Day belters, Andy Gray’s imaginary conversations, guess the Christmas goalscorer from the commentary, geriatric South American strike partnerships, Match of the Day voiceover men, infuriating player career paths and, of course, Happy Hunting Grounds. Adam's new book, Extra Time

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70:56

Cliches do Mesut Haaland Dicks: Adam, Charlie &...

Football Cliches ·

2024/12/19

In a special edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, the Clichés team select some of their ultimate footballing fascinations and irritations. Among Adam, Charlie and Dave's selections are the enduring fallacy of relegation-threatened teams “fighting for their lives”, the theory behind the greatest lower-body aesthetic in football history, the haggard goalnets of midweek 5-a-side and the childish envy when new signings score on their debuts for your team's rivals. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel admire a

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42:27

The blip-to-crisis benchmark, Comedy Central...

Football Cliches ·

2024/12/17

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a new term for slapstick defending, a historic day for Premier League manager sackings, more accidentally operatic BBC commentary, some dubious red-card stadium music in Australia and much more. Meanwhile, the panel decide when Manchester City's "blip" became a "slump" and then a full-blown "crisis" and discuss the reported successors to Gary Lineker on Match of the Day. Adam's new book, Extra

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43:03

Commentators sampled in experimental French pop & the...

Football Cliches ·

2024/12/12

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Mick McCarthy on Steve Coogan playing him in a film, Charlton manager Nathan Jones takes on the weather, Martin Keown on the re-opening of Notre Dame, a curious injury league table from the BBC, Sky Sports commentators inexplicably sampled in experimental French electronica and a tautologous Spanish non-league club.Meanwhile, the panel try to identify the most finger-wagging player and

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44:24

Unexpected Sutton, diags on MOTD & the “good time to...

Football Cliches ·

2024/12/10

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Cole Palmer's perfect Panenka, the latest breach of Match of the Day protocol, the minor media obsession with getting managers to admit their team is in the title race, obscure mid-90s Spurs midfielders in Netflix comedies and the dream scenario for fans ridiculing the opposition goalkeeper's goal kicks.Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the Club World Cup’s group of death and pick apart the “good

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38:39

The best 9.3% of the FA Cup draw, the "stand named...

Football Cliches ·

2024/12/05

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some baffling new transferspeak, some glorious audio of away fans thinking they've scored and being immediately ridiculed by the home crowd, the nichest FA Cup draw content you will ever consume, more average mid-90s English wingers’ names in things and Richard Keys going 80% Partridge as he presents from the 1988 Motor Show.Meanwhile, the panel ponder what a club legend would have to do

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41:10

An educated left head, the first goal ever uploaded...

Football Cliches ·

2024/12/03

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the mainstream media jump on the Pep Sacking Threshold bandwagon, some beautifully unnecessary detail about a headed goal, a commentator lets down Robbie Savage very gently, former Blackburn wingers' names implicated in boat murders, the first ever goal uploaded to YouTube, a Harry Redknapp headline for the ages and Keys & Gray visit the Qatar Grand Prix.Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the minimum

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47:49

Sunday League set-piece routines, the "olé" threshold...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/28

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are free-kick decoy duties in Sunday League, predicting the moment the "olés" are about to start as a team sees out a comfortable win, the delicate act of picking balanced teams for 5-a-side, football's vandalism of the word "decimated", minute's applause that begin in the wrong

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44:40

5.54 seconds of away-goal confusion, footballers in...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/26

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: A new world record for away fans slowly realising their team has scored, Mark Schwarzer ties himself in chronological knots, Martin Keown lavishes himself with the highest footballing praise, famously unfriendly footballers’ names in American T-junctions and Keys & Gray’s ill-fated 2011 bid to break into the app market.Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive Manchester City defeats it

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89:43

The Bosman legacy, optimum camera angles & double...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/21

The pod welcomes Football Ramble podcast supremo Luke Moore for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Luke's selections are the early signs of a game turning into a comprehensive thrashing, the physical attributes of a classic double save, a controversial choice for the best camera angle for a penalty, the highly unnecessary admin-theatre of both teams setting up for a free kick, the demise of calling free transfers

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38:54

59 consecutive hat-tricks, yo-yo countries and the...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/19

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England's League B promotion glory, a listener solves last week's Consecutive Hat-Tricks Career Pathway puzzle, Talksport mulls over what constitutes a "young young" player, some novel use of "aplomb" at the darts, Trevor Brooking's 1982 Desert Island Discs, the surprising origins of "tippy-tappy football" and some strange alleged behaviour from an ex-Barclaysman.Meanwhile, the panel gauge the

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64:23

Deodorant ads, Don(ald) Goodman & "The Deeney Guy":...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/14

The pod welcomes commentator Bill Leslie for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.Bill and the panel explore stadium architecture quirks, nearby fans taking issue with live commentary observations, the most generic Championship play-offs semi-final lineup possible, the two types of mid-game petering-out, needless away kits ruining the pre-match excitement and pretentious/professional pronunciations of foreign players'

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38:24

xG meets crime dramas & the Sunday League to Premier...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/12

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the first-ever mention of xG in a mainstream TV drama, cult Spurs strikers plying their trade in academia, how many historical goals a striker needs to be eligible to be “still banging them in”, the definition of a "sumptuous" goal and much more.Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive hat-tricks would take a striker from Sunday League to the Premier League Please VOTE for Football

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