Football Cliches

63:21

Throwing glass at Man City's window, tinpot national...

Football Cliches ·

2026/10/05

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: one of the best phone-in callers of the Man City saga so far, Richard Keys vs Liam Gallagher, England’s nursery-rhyme back four, statistical proof that it's tinpot for a country’s football association to have an actual football in its logo, David Seaman barely contains himself yet again, analysing the full weekly lineup for The Overlap Daily, Sean Dyche's favourite line gets another airing, and the

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78:04

Unimaginative abuse, tactical whistling & circular...

Football Cliches ·

2026/10/01

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by former Premier League referee Graham Scott, who answers some increasingly obscure questions from the pod and the listeners about life as a top-flight match official...Is RefCam a positive development in our relationship with referees? What's the threshold for a referee becoming "card happy"? When would an official call a player by their nickname? Why have anti-referee chants failed to evolve over the years? Why is Jay Bothroyd now

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59:37

The non-emergency pod: Tainted vs stained, Polish...

Football Cliches ·

2026/09/28

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the finer details of the fallout from the Premier League's verdict on Manchester City's charges, accidentally musical commentary from England vs Spain, a huge development for players who have their full names read out every time, Poland delivers the adverb that football never knew it always wanted, Andy Townsend on pub toilets, Dave unconsciously saying the names of Ballon d’Or winners, Jeremy

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54:49

Co-commentator voice ID & performatively not...

Football Cliches ·

2026/09/23

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the three minutes it takes to identify the co-commentator by voice alone, the body language of an offside striker performatively not interfering with play, why a player can be "on a hat-trick" but not "on a red card" and the sheer dissatisfaction of a new signing not being

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53:06

35.3% of Earth's land mass, Mourinho's printer &...

Football Cliches ·

2026/09/21

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: More Drurian delivery from Australian football commentary, a geographically earth-shattering MLS fixture from 2015, the most likely current Premier League manager to jokingly pretend to walk into the wrong dressing room, a satisfying Saturday evening for one Coventry fan, Jose Mourinho prints off his La Liga complaints, the logical framework of being “the happier of the two managers at half-time”,

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87:48

The Football Cliches Quiz XXVI: Cliches vs The Listeners

Football Cliches ·

2026/09/17

The 26th edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on trivia-savvy listeners Pat Noone, Sam Huxley and Jonny Sharples.The questions include: Premier League Chrisses, managers of Premier League games that have their own Wikipedia pages, the Oceanian Champions League, guessing the co-commentator, football men dubbed into Welsh, Richard Keys’s World Cup rallying cries, guessing the Champions League final from the pre-match punditry, various nations' Premier League top

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58:54

Offside contamination, yards of confidence & Drury's...

Football Cliches ·

2026/09/14

LONDON LIVE QUIZ - TICKETS ON GENERAL SALE WEDNESDAY 16TH - ⁠quiz.footballcliches.com⁠Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the fallout from the Manchester derby, Tottenham's goal drought passes an important threshold, referees commentating on goals, a very familiar-sounding voice from a game in Australia, whether Manchester United vs Sabah set an incredibly niche world record, overdue praise for the steadiest commentary duo in the

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47:18

Late doors, John McGinn's trademark finish &...

Football Cliches ·

2026/09/10

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Dean Saunders continues his intermittent campaign against modern football terminology, tinpot scenes in the Yashin Trophy nominations, a Talksport debate about the threshold for in-game dominance, John McGinn's trademark caressed curler, the growing usage of "late doors", an unacceptably casual word for a headed goal, the least "rounding the goalkeeper" striker in the Premier League, commentary to

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43:38

Cliches Live in the sunshine, the Mike Dean content...

Football Cliches ·

2026/09/07

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: reflections on a superb afternoon at the Cliches live show, Tom Cruise deploys the football plural, Gary Cotterill plumbs new press-conference depths, Manchester United are Arsenal 2008/09 in disguise, the fallout from Mike Dean's embellished anecdote, slightly-too-casual VAR announcements, the Gary Neville noise in a Kaiser Chiefs song, and much more. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz

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53:55

The washed Sky Sports News, Horlicks FC & the...

Football Cliches ·

2026/09/03

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the agonising death of Sky Sports News on deadline day, whether a player can have a “knack” for scoring penalties, Darren Fletcher reviving his Copacbana obsession, footballers’ names in German pet food adverts, whether a header can be “blazed" over the bar, the threshold for a goal getting a trailing team "back in it", an apocalyptic-sounding night at the ex-footballers charity boxing, and

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39:54

Vomiting footballers & 30 years of the electronic sub...

Football Cliches ·

2026/08/31

Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are how technology will finally come for the clumsily-operated electronic substitution board, the futile abuse of the BBC's Player Rater tool, whether a team should be top or bottom of a negatively-themed league table, and a passionate defence of strikers who don't gamble on low

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51:29

Sarcastic passes, tiny football studio furniture &...

Football Cliches ·

2026/08/26

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a baffling passing adjective in the EFL Trophy, how a striker would "unlock" their goalscoring account for the season, Everton's irresistible "cup run" candidacy, LASK 5 Celtic 4 and the saddest football TV studio of all time, Michael Owen mixes up his modes of transport, a curious anomaly in how we describe substitutes entering the fray, how early a new signing can be called "a revelation" and Richard

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59:09

Wake-up reality checks, cracked MOTD logos & the...

Football Cliches ·

2026/08/24

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Wedding guests with goal-machine names, the rude awakenings/wake-up calls/reality checks of the Premier League opening weekend, how much it would actually cost to "drive Harry Maguire to Saudi Arabia yourself", Lee Dixon’s emerging spot-kick commentary trademark, tenuous Match of the Day identity crises, Dom Ballard's pure Puskas wondergoal, the many ripples of a Fabrizio Romano typo, Jean-Philippe Mateta

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59:11

Counter-attack calculations, club nickname knowledge...

Football Cliches ·

2026/08/20

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: how referee match audio will pump up the football news machine in 2026/27, Chelsea's youth teams being renamed in an ominously "game's gone" fashion, Gary Weaver settles into the new Championship season, three incredible utterings of John Stones’ name, Eddie Marsan as Harry Redknapp and the meaning of being "Premier League-proven".Meanwhile, the panel enjoy episode 1 of Keys & Gray: Unleashed,

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53:57

Community Shield coasting, breaking down a "bomba" &...

Football Cliches ·

2026/08/18

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some textbook Community Shield takeaways, whether Arsenal are the most “Millennium Stadium” Premier League club, how far off Declan Rice is from becoming “Mr Arsenal”, Newcastle's unnecessarily long managerial longlist, an unacceptable League One welcoming, linguistic frustration in the tennis, getting to the bottom of what constitutes a "bomba" signing, Irish right-backs in Turkish Star Wars

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62:46

Rhyming clangers, David Seaman chuckles again &...

Football Cliches ·

2026/08/13

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Goalkeeping mistakes that rhyme with the player who pounces on them, a classic goal-commentating phrase gets some overdue analysis, David Seaman keeps his chuckle rate ticking over at Lord's, pondering the actual purpose of Dusan Vlahovic, Fabrizio Romano drops a bombshell hint over his own future, anticipating the new Amazon Prime series Meet the Owens, Matthias Jaissle impressing-by-numbers and

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51:15

Carabao curtain-raising, regrettable stepping stones...

Football Cliches ·

2026/08/10

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether Charlie's third child in six years counts as a "quickfire hat-trick", weekend Carabao Cup ties as the domestic curtain-raiser, a manager refuses to answer a non-question, a nuanced language-barrier issue for Middlesbrough’s new goalkeeper, very mundane swap deals, the logical strategy for online football quizzes, ex-England strikers in Spiderman film analysis, north London football hipsters

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72:19

Fearing for Fulham, goal celebrations in the shower &...

Football Cliches ·

2026/08/05

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: The now-annual breakdown of the Premier League alphabetical distribution and how it makes us feel, who we should "fear for" in the Premier League in 2026/27, what tournaments England legends would have incongruously appeared at if they’d played until they were 40, workshopping a chant for Phil Collins’ son at 1860 Munich, Mohamed Salah's surprise move to Trabzonspor, Argos being sold for the same price

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54:26

Money-grabbing gargoyles, John Stones' meta-knackered...

Football Cliches ·

2026/08/04

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: European superclubs coming over here and stealing our groundsmen, Henry Winter on Falklands defence budgets, Gianni Infantino the "money-grabbing gargoyle", the inevitable moment for Wenger's Law, a Cliches deep cut buried in an obscure seven-a-side livestream, Sean Dyche’s surprisingly convoluted "top 3 pints", unacceptable penalty descriptions, Scotland gives us a new verb for a thrashing, John Stones’

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70:24

Dreamland, Episode 27: Paradise with yesterday's...

Football Cliches ·

2026/07/29

A concept impossible to over-romanticise, pinpointing the exact Premier League matchweek to represent its sweet spot, the gentle echoing of Martin Tyler across the potholes of a generic bar strip, charmingly error-strewn handwritten fixture lists, the Irish Bar option, the Moon Under Water of Turkish beach bars showing the Prem, spending £3.50 on a 48-hour-old copy of the Mirror in 2001, Faliraki 5-a-side with Leon Osman, one listener’s Eurocamp goalkeeping glory, a stag do in Luxembourg, and an

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