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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

26:32

Lythronax, the Gore King

Paleo Bites ·

2024/05/28

(image source: https://naturerules1.fandom.com/wiki/Lythronax) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Lythronax, a potential contender for one of the edgiest genus names of any dinosaur, right up there with Dynamoterror and Atrociraptor. It’s not enough for these dinosaurs to be scary in appearance; their names have to sound scary too! Gore King! Aaagh! From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot tyrannosaurid’s biggest appearance in pop-culture is probably the Nintendo DS game Fossil

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30:14

Dsungaripterus, the Wing of Junggar Basin

Paleo Bites ·

2024/05/21

(image source: https://www.pteros.com/pterosaurs/dsungaripterus.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Dsungaripterus, a pterosaur that by God Almighty looks like a mouthful to pronounce. SUN-ga-RIP-turr-US. There, I just saved you a lot of time and energy. You’re welcome. From the Early Cretaceous, this 16-foot ornithocheiroid had a really rocking piece of headgear and a mouth that pointed upward, kind of like me when getting mead poured in my mouth by the tavern maids at

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23:03

Sarcosuchus, the Flesh Crocodile

Paleo Bites ·

2024/05/14

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Sarcosuchus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Sarcosuchus, one of the biggest crocodilians in the fossil record that lived alongside some big hitters like Spinosaurus, Carcharodontosaurus, and Suchomimus. Oh, and also a giant sawshark. A truly terrifying swamp, that was. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 38-foot crocodylomorph ate any poor herbivorous dinosaurs that dared to trespass its swamp. Hey, Ouranosaurus, wanna cross the

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29:21

Glacialisaurus, the Frozen Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2024/05/07

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Glacialisaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Glacialisaurus, another dinosaur from Antarctica that lived alongside Cryolophosaurus and ate ferns and such. It’s a basic leaf-eating dinosaur, what more do you want from it? From the Early Jurassic, this 20-foot sauropodomorph lived millions of years before its hot and lush homeland became a frozen wasteland. How would you react if the land you lived in was only millions of

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10:01

Tyrannasorus rex, the Tyrannical Hump King

Paleo Bites ·

2024/04/30

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyrannasorus_rex) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Tyrannasorus rex, a real PUNK’d of an animal by being just a plain-ass beetle named after the most fearsome dinosaur ever. Paleontologists have too much fun sometimes. Someone should rein them in. From the Miocene epoch, this 1-inch beetle was, well, a beetle. You ever seen a beetle? Then you’ve seen Tyrannasorus rex. They’re all the same. You don’t make up over half of all

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26:34

Sauroposeidon, the Lizard of the Earthquake God

Paleo Bites ·

2024/04/23

(image source: https://jurassicpark.fandom.com/wiki/Sauroposeidon) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Sauroposeidon, an abso-giganto-freaking-mongus dinosaur and the state dinosaur of Texas, because they like everything big down there. They ain't compensatin' for nuthin’, those durn cowboys. From the Early Cretaceous, this 70-foot macronarian sauropod lived alongside some heavy hitters like Acrocanthosaurus, Deinonychus, and Sauropelta, all of which we’ve covered on this

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23:52

Fasolasuchus, the Crocodile of Tomas Fasola

Paleo Bites ·

2024/04/16

(image source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/triassic-bites-and-a-carnivore-conundrum) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Fasolasuchus, the biggest terrestrial non-dinosaur predator of all time. What a hyper-specific superlative. I bet I’m the biggest human named Matthew that wrote a dinosaur sci-fi series called Megazoic. Except probably not, there’s a lot of Matthews out there. From the Mid Triassic, this 35-foot rauisuchian got a big bit of cinema

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23:21

Alaskacephale, the Head of Alaska

Paleo Bites ·

2024/04/09

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alaskacephale)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Alaskacephale, a northern dinosaur that somehow had enough minor differences to escape being lumped into the genus Pachycephalosaurus, but the wildly different and far more spiky Dracorex and Stygimoloch didn’t. Yeah, I’m never letting that go. From the Late Cretaceous, this 8-foot pachycephalosaurid lived alongside the other arctic dinosaurs like Pachyrhinosaurus and Nanuqsaurus,

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23:47

Simosuchus, the Pug-Nosed Crocodile

Paleo Bites ·

2024/04/02

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/583708801714650808/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Simosuchus, an adorable little burrowing critter that despite its herbivory and cuddly appearance was actually an ancient crocodylomorph. I bet its death rolls would be so cute. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot notosuchian lived alongside some big frogs and mammals as well as dinosaurs in their Madagascar home, which sounds nice. I wager they all got along and there were

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27:19

Tenontosaurus, the Sinew Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2024/03/26

(image source: https://alphynix.tumblr.com) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Tenontosaurus, a poor schmuck of a dinosaur whose entire existence seems to be cannon fodder for packs of Deinonychus. Hence why I chose this picture for the episode image, because it’s funny seeing the tables turned. Mwuahahaha. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot basal ornithopod was also notable in having a really long tail, which really would have been useful in fighting off those

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25:05

Anchisaurus, the Intermediate Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2024/03/19

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Anchisaurus-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Anchisaurus, a long-necked lizard thing of a dinosaur that had far more interesting ancestors and even more interesting descendants. It really was ‘intermediate’ in how mid it was. Boo. From the Early Jurassic, this 10-foot basal sauropodomorph was the basis behind a familial vow to track the owner of its footprints, a task started by a paleontologist father but completely by his

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26:52

Maiasaura, the Good Mother Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2024/03/12

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/maiasaura-and-nest-phil-wilson.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Maiasaura, a real mommy of a dinosaur in that it was the first one with direct evidence of parental care. A real nurturer, Maiasaura. I could use that. No, I don’t have mommy issues. From the Late Cretaceous, this 30-foot saurolophine hadrosaurid seemingly put leaves on its eggs and fed them with its beak when they hatched, which is nice. Again, I could use

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25:25

Simbakubwa, the Great Lion

Paleo Bites ·

2024/03/05

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simbakubwa) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Simbakubwa, possibly the largest terrestrial mammalian predator of all time and the true holder of the title of Lion King. Naaaaaants ingonyamaaaa bagithiiiii baba sithi uhm ingonyamaaaa! Disney, making children scat faux Swahili since 1994. From the Early Miocene, this 10-foot hyaenodont had a slashing bite and could potentially bring down giant elephants and rhinos. The ultimate

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29:59

Australopithecus, the Southern Ape

Paleo Bites ·

2024/02/27

(image source: https://bit.ly/3T1rkyC) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Australopithecus, one of our definitive ancestors and the first to walk upright, which is kind of a big deal. I don’t think I could handle walking on my knuckles all day, so thank you, Australopithecus. From the Late Pliocene, this 4-foot-tall hominid ate fruit and meat and overall just kinda aped about. You ever watched the Planet of the Apes movies? Then you’ve seen Australopithecus. Please ignore the

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27:35

Megalosaurus, the Great Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2024/02/20

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Megalosaurus-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Megalosaurus on this very special day, as exactly 200 years ago on this date Megalosaurus was officially the first described dinosaur, marking two centuries of dinosaur knowledge! Awesome! Oh yeah, the animal is cool too, whatever. From the Middle Jurassic, this 30-foot theropod used to have hundreds of different species in its genus before settling with Megalosaurus

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28:16

Basilosaurus, the King Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2024/02/13

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basilosaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Basilosaurus, a ginormous flesh-eating whale with a bulbous body and tiny back legs. Bet you didn’t know your mom was featured in this podcast, huh? From the Late Eocene, this 60-foot cetacean had a dinosaur-esque name due to its serpentine-esque body, which I think shouldn’t be allowed. Only dinosaurs should end in ‘saurus’ just as only mammals should end in ‘therium’! None of this

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26:13

Proa, the Prow of Val de Arino

Paleo Bites ·

2024/02/06

(image source: https://metode.org/issues/monographs/the-dinosaurs-of-the-maestrat-basin.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Proa, a dinosaur who lived in Spain and is on display in a huge museum there called Dinopolis, a place I have promptly scheduled on my calendar to visit on a moments’ notice! Oh wait, plane tickets are expensive. Damn. From the Early Cretaceous, this 22-foot iguanodont was chosen by our production team by using a random dinosaur generator because

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22:42

Simocyon, the Short-Snouted Dog

Paleo Bites ·

2024/01/30

(image source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/the-other-pandas-thumb)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Simocyon, a creature that looks like a cougar and whose name says it’s a dog but is more closely related to red pandas. That’s a running joke on this show, I swear. “It looks like a baboon, eats like a llama, but its closest relatives are actually… cuttlefish.” From the Early Pliocene, this 7-foot carnivoran mammal is from a previously wide-ranging family

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26:07

Paranthropus, the One Alongside Man

Paleo Bites ·

2024/01/23

(Image source: https://www.science.org/content/article/one-ancient-human-relative-use-early-stone-tools) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Paranthropus, one of our ancestors’ relatives that didn’t fully make the transition into cavemen and died off before they could see what humanity would become. They were the lucky ones. From the Late Pliocene, this 4-foot-tall hominid used simple tools like sticks and rocks and plucked fruit off of trees and basically were just monkeying

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26:40

Ambulocetus, the Walking Whale

Paleo Bites ·

2024/01/16

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Ambulocetus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Ambulocetus, a walking whale that might not have actually walked all that much, but boy it could swim! So a whale then, basically. A whale with feet. Ehhh. From the Late Eocene, this 10-foot cetacean swam through the rivers of Pakistan and chomped fish, crocodiles, small mammals, and whatever else dared get in its way. I bet I could take it though, personally. How hard could it

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320 results

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