Undressing Intimacy

47:57

106. From Purity to Erotic Presence: Reclaiming Your...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/09/29

Welcome to Episode 106, coming to you live from Greg and Amy's newly finished podcast studio! In this episode, Greg and Amy dive deep into unlearning purity culture, establishing an internal "North Star," and transitioning from defensive ego reactions into genuine erotic presence. Many couples carry mixed messaging and shame around modesty, nudity, and desire. But true erotic connection isn't about performing or meeting external expectations; it requires claiming full ownership of your body,

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51:41

105: The Big Four of Erotic Connection: What Are You...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/09/22

When you want sex with your partner, what are you actually seeking? In Episode 105, we unpack author Emily Nagoski's "Big Four" motivations for erotic connection and explore what really drives us toward physical intimacy when we strip away obligation, duty, and performance. Many couples fall into the trap of viewing sex as a task to check off, a way to release stress, or a tool to manage a partner's mood. But true eroticism requires stepping out of the "domestic bucket" of doing and into a space of

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53:42

104. From Control to Connection: Why You Can't Force...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/09/15

Happy two-year anniversary to Undressing Intimacy! In Episode 104, we step back to celebrate two full years of the podcast by answering the single most fundamental question underneath almost every relationship struggle: How do we get our partner to choose us? If you strip away all the surface-level arguments about schedules, chores, and frequency, the core human desire in marriage is to feel freely chosen. But when anxiety hits, most of us default to control—trying to manipulate, pressure, earn, or

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45:15

103. The Real Secret to Mind-Blowing Sex: Cultivating...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/09/08

We are officially one episode away from our two-year anniversary! To kick off this milestone episode, we are thrilled to announce Jacob Swanson as the official winner of our 100th-episode private coaching giveaway! The core of today's episode is a deep dive into what actually unlocks transcendent, mind-blowing physical intimacy. The hard truth is that great sex isn't about matching libidos or trying new techniques—it is about cultivating the emotional capacity and nervous system stamina to stay

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01:14:40

102. Our Story: Reclaiming Trust and Intimacy After a...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/09/01

This week, things are a little different! Special guest host Tony Overbay turns the microphone around to interview us about our own raw, 28-year marriage journey. We pull back the curtain on the first 17 years of our marriage when we struggled deeply with intimacy, and the "nuclear explosion" of pornography discovery. We discuss how we moved past "white-knuckling" into true, differentiated connection by shifting how we handle safety, honesty, and desire. Key breakthroughs unpacked in this interview:

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44:20

101. Why People-Pleasing Is Secretly Killing the...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/08/25

Are you constantly modifying yourself, walking on eggshells, or "should-ing" all over yourself to keep the peace? In Episode 101, we dive deep into the hidden cost of people-pleasing in relationships. Developmentally, every human being starts out needing external validation to feel safe. But when we get stuck chasing that "gold star" of approval, we trade our presence for temporary predictability—and we end up erasing our true selves in the process. True intimacy requires two whole, differentiated

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42:35

100. "Who Said It?" — Amy & Greg's Ultimate 100th...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/08/18

We made it to Episode 100! To celebrate this incredible milestone, Greg surprised Amy with a completely unscripted, highly competitive game of "Who Said It? Greg or Amy?" We went back through all 99 of our past episodes to pull out our deepest, funniest, and most raw quotes to see if we could guess who originally said what. Spoiler alert: we tied, argued about the rules, and had a blast taking a walk down memory lane. Tune in as we revisit some of our favorite relationship breakthroughs and discuss:

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36:58

99. Reclaiming True Desire: The Massive Payoff of...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/08/11

Are you tired of intimacy feeling like a transactional chore or a high-stakes game of emotional chess? In Episode 99, we are doing a deep dive into what it actually takes to reclaim true desire in your marriage. We unpack how covert expectations and subtle sexual manipulations completely choke out the spark, and why the real payoff only happens when you finally let go of trying to control or please your partner. True intimacy is about cultivating the emotional capacity to let your spouse choose you

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54:00

98. Neurodivergence in Marriage with Jodi Carlton:...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/08/04

In Episode 98, we are joined by master educator and neurodiverse relationship expert Jodi Carlton! We explore what it really looks like to build a thriving marriage when partners operate on completely different relational "wiring". Instead of looking at autism or ADHD as a deficit, we challenge the idea of "normal" and discuss how to understand these differences simply as differently wired operating systems. We dive deep into the "double empathy problem," navigating extreme sensory differences in

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44:30

97. Overcoming Insecurities: How to Feel Sexy and...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/07/28

In Episode 97, we are diving deep into a topic that profoundly impacts our ability to be present during sexual intimacy: body image. How we feel about our bodies directly affects our eroticism, our sense of self, and our capacity to experience arousal and desire. While this struggle heavily impacts our female listeners due to the endless societal messaging about beauty standards, we acknowledge that men face these performative pressures, too. We unpack the dangerous habit of "measuring" our bodies

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44:23

96. The 5 Rules for Dealing with Narcissism and...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/07/21

In Episode 96, we conclude our amazing two-part conversation with licensed marriage and family therapist Tony Overbay. Building on last week's discussion about the difference between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and extreme emotional immaturity, Tony breaks down his highly requested "five rules" for interacting with a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner. We discuss how to step out of the chaos of co-regulating with an unhealthy partner and learn to hold your ground. We also explore a

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44:58

95. Is It Narcissism or Emotional Immaturity? Part 1...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/07/14

Title: Is It Narcissism or Emotional Immaturity? Part 1 with Tony Overbay Episode Description: In Episode 95, we are thrilled to welcome licensed marriage and family therapist Tony Overbay, host of The Virtual Couch and Waking Up to Narcissism. We dive into the widely used buzzword "narcissism" and break down the difference between actual Narcissistic Personality Disorder and extreme emotional immaturity. Tony explains how true narcissism involves a self-esteem that cannot hold on its own, a need

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41:07

94. The Joy of Intimacy: Escaping the Performance...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/07/07

In Episode 94, we apply the concept of fleeting joy directly to the bedroom and our sexual relationships. We discuss why sexual intimacy is often the place where we feel the most exposed, which can trigger anxiety, performance, or dissociation instead of true connection. For spontaneous desire spouses, finding joy in intimacy means learning not to extract validation from your partner and dropping the expectation of a pre-built "sexual playground" so you can co-create one together in the moment. For

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45:45

93. Why the Word "Safe" Triggers Men (And How It...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/06/30

In Episode 93, we dive into the core foundation of a thriving marriage by exploring concepts from Scott Austin Martin's book, Safe: The Minimum Standard for Intimacy. We tackle a word that often acts as a major trigger for husbands: "safe". Because men are traditionally raised to be providers and protectors, hearing their wives say "I don't feel safe" can feel like a direct accusation that they are physically dangerous or failing at their role. However, we break down what women actually mean when

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37:25

92. Breaking Free from Purity Culture: Autonomy and...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/06/23

In Episode 92, we tackle the complex and sometimes controversial topic of purity culture. For many couples who grew up with a heavy emphasis on strict sexual behavior and modesty, the resulting anxiety and shame can create difficult roadblocks in marriage. We discuss the confusion of being taught that having natural sexual thoughts or feelings makes you "impure" or a "sexual deviant," and how that mindset stifles true intimacy. We explore how to transition from relying on external rules—constantly

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43:52

91. Marriage as a Mirror: Facing Your Blind Spots to...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/06/16

In Episode 91, we tackle one of the most challenging seasons for a relationship: rebuilding emotional and physical intimacy while raising babies and toddlers,. We answer a listener's question about how to ask for connection when your spouse is completely exhausted and giving everything they have to the children. We explore why bids for intimacy often get misinterpreted as added pressure or demands during this chaotic stage, and how to create space for touch without expectations. We also dive into

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46:33

90. Unlocking Female Pleasure: Anatomy, Arousal, and...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/06/09

In Episode 90, we take a deep dive into female sexuality, anatomy, and arousal. We explore the historical myths and shame that have surrounded female pleasure, explaining how women's sexuality has often been mislabeled as a medical illness, sinful, or performative. We discuss how the female body is exquisitely designed for pleasure and the importance of women owning their desires at any age. We also follow up on the Sexual Blueprints to discuss the "shadow side" of desire, specifically looking at

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44:55

89. Discovering Your Sexual Blueprint: The 5 Types of...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/06/02

Title: Discovering Your Sexual Blueprint: The 5 Types of Arousal and Desire Episode Description: In Episode 89, we dive into the fascinating world of somatic sexologist Jaiya and her five erotic blueprints. If you have ever felt like you and your spouse are speaking two completely different languages in the bedroom, this framework will change everything. By understanding how your body and nervous system respond to intimacy, you can stop feeling like one of you is "broken" and start building a shared

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42:31

88. Overcoming Pornography and Escapism: A Husband's...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/05/26

In Episode 88, we have the incredible privilege of interviewing our friend and coaching client, Jared. Jared openly shares his personal journey of confronting his use of pornography, realizing it had become a way to escape the stresses of life and find a "counterfeit" feeling of desire. He discusses the pivotal moment when he shifted from trying to fix or change his wife to taking full ownership of his own actions and defense mechanisms. Jared also reveals how he tackled his internal "Notorious

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44:04

87. Rebuilding Attraction in Marriage: Overcoming...

Undressing Intimacy ·

2026/05/19

In Episode 87, we dive into a deeply personal and vulnerable topic: what happens when you feel like you are losing attraction to your spouse. Amy opens up about a time when she confessed to our mentor, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, that she wasn't sure she was attracted to Greg anymore. Through a tough but necessary coaching session, Amy discovered that her "loss of attraction" was actually a defense mechanism masking her deep fear of losing him. By hyper-focusing on his habits and viewing him as a

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