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PODCAST

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast

Backwater Bastards | Realm

A team of artists telling THE GREATEST BEST FRIEND STORY that the galaxy has ever seen! While everybody else is out saving the world, we’re just trying to find the next best place to eat. Join us on our haphazard adventure.

fiction science fiction

All Episodes

92:15

S4E03: Best friends friends feat. Fiona K. T. Howat...

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2025/11/19

When the going gets tough, the tough split the party. (…Right?)The hunt for Cleo continues, as the Cap/Bastard rescue squad spreads through the BioLife flagship like a handful of subpar nanites. Ze kicks us off by taking one for the universe by locking himself in with Robin to both protect the party, and gather intel. Together, they discover that Robin is not the only big fish in this pond. While Ze goes brain to brain with a fellow brain, Bortis, Boris, and Fron come together to form the Best

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76:32

S4E02: An eerie presence feat. Fiona K. T. Howat and...

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2025/10/23

The plan is working, and our crew is aboard the BioLife ship, where wave after wave of guards welcome them. It's the fastest slow going you could hope for, while Boris, Trevor, Dr. Ze, The Nine Blades and Vache fight to clear the halls, and our Cleo fights to stay alive. Every BioLife lackey between the rescue team and Cleo is a bag of extracted blood, a few million nanites, a last minute stalling tactic. Regardless, our rescuers have boarded, and it's enough work to stay alive. There is no time

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82:41

S4E01: Surprise Surprise feat. Fiona K. T. Howat and...

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2025/09/27

The Caps, The remaining Bastards, and… Margo’s BioLife escapee friends, are teaming up to bring back Cleo. Vache de Mer and The Nine Blades have been captured by BioLife almost more times than they can count. (They are after all, remnants of experiments failed.) Which is why they’re Margo’s ticket to stealthily finding the BioLife stronghold that’s holding Cleo. The plan is airtight. Set a trap, lay the bait, wait for capture- and send the whole dang team in to infiltrate. All we need is for the

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8:07

Short Stories | Robin

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2025/09/10

Cleo and Robin almost made it. Together they saw the light at the end of the proverbial BioLife hallway. But of course, that was the plan. The scientists bring Robin into Cleo’s cell for one last chat, hoping to wring out the last of their secrets before they eke out the last of her nanites. There can’t be much left, now. Just about a seed’s worth, if anything at all. Season 4 is finally here after a big break, and we are bringing you in smooth! This is the second of a collection of short

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10:41

Short Stories | Sanctuary

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2025/08/27

After the battle at Garcia Station, many Synths accepted M8’s offer of Sanctuary. They heard the code, and they answered the call- not fully understanding what it might mean to be free. The idea itself was a reshaping. To help them along, M8 regales the Synths with tales and visions of Sanctuary, and the great possibility that awaits them all. But as they pull into view, they find that M8’s wondrous data does not quite match what they find there… Season 4 is finally here after a big break, and we

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18:46

Short Stories | Taxi

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2025/08/13

Back on Prospect Town, our old friend Parter has picked up three rather pompous officers.They’re loud, they’re crass, and they’re bragging in the backseat about destroying the local restaurant "Stu's" (home of “The Everything”!), and discussing their top secret mission to retrieve an "immortal Ursine" from BioLife. They might want to be careful about who they talk around though- because loose lips sink ships, even in space… Season 4 is finally here after a big break, and we are bringing you in

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10:51

Short Stories | The Art of Getting Caught feat....

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2025/07/30

While the Bastards and The Caps are busy planning their rescue mission, Margo is busy hunting down her own backup plan. Deep in the jungle on a desolate planet, Margo is tracking down the perpetually-captured duo known as "Nine Blades", (despite having only eight visible), and his precognitive partner Vache de Mer. With their “help”, Margo hatches a scheme to infiltrate BioLife and save Cleo. Her plan? Use Vache and Nine Blades’ unique talent for getting themselves captured by BioLife, as the

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34:39

Short Stories | The Other Family

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2025/07/16

The gang's all here! Well, all but one. After being scattered across the galaxy, The Bastards finally reunite on the dusty Backwater planet of Daius to prepare for a Cleo rescue- wherever she may be. They meet up with some of Cleo’s old crew, obey to hear their tales about mysterious black nanobots and a BioLife capture! Between Boris's newfound assertiveness, Trevor's questionable ship repairs, and Ze's Ze-ness, the Bastards must team up with Cleo's other best friends- the charming Bortis and

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6:38

A Hiatus Update: Help Shape the Show!

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2025/02/11

Over here at Bastard HQ, we are knee deep in dreams of the future. But we want to make sure it’s a cool future that everyone likes- so we made this survey to pick your brains. Here it is: https://forms.gle/RDckuVtWDMVpRcnU6 We’ve blasted this thing out to our discord, and a few of our socials, but there’s another group that we don’t want to miss, and that might be you. So if you've got some time, please consider sharing your thoughts. It's anonymous, and it means a lot to us. We’re working on

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118:22

Introducing: Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry | Goblin...

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2025/01/09

Hi Backwater Bastards listeners! This week, we're bringing you an episode of another show we think you'll love: Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode!!Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode is the latest actual play narrative fantasy series from Geek & Sundry in partnership with Realm. Using the popular TTRPG Dungeons & Dragons, Goblin Mode tells an ever-evolving improvised story full of magic, monsters, and mayhem. Goblin Mode is not your traditional fantasy story. These aren’t the mighty warriors who would be

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10:43

The Gang Goes on Hiatus (See you in 2025!)

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2024/11/13

The Bastards are taking a brief hiatus so that they can experiment, play, and recover from the tornado that was 2024. In the meantime, they will be hosting game nights in the Discord, pausing the Patreon for a month, and then releasing some hot, fresh SideArms. (Don't forget that you can speedbinge them on the 7 day free trial!) Our heroes will be BACK and ready for action in 2025, with a plan to get the whole gang back together... Or die trying. Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël

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75:08

Rendezvous with Bastards! - Director of the Light

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2024/10/18

TW: Gore, Cannibalism, Blood.RWD presents - a Rendezvous with Bastards! Our friends find themselves trapped in the middle of a meltdown. Will they be able to escape this emergency, or will the mystery behind the walls prove just too tempting to ignore? Millicent practices first aid, Lucky smells the ground, Harrison shows off his criminal enterprise and Hank hits back. Backwater Bastards is a sci-fi comedy improv actual play podcast played by three international artists with an emphasis on

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67:10

Rendezvous with Bastards! - Closer to Heck

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2024/10/10

Episode 1: Closer to Heck Our good friends Chloe, Will, and Am are - A Rendezvous with Destiny - an actual-play podcast that immerses listeners in tabletop role-playing games where players explore mythological themes and narratives. They took us on this incredible adventure and it was so much fun! Thank you again to Chloe, Will, and Am and please go and check out their show where ever ya get your podcasts. RWD (A Rendezvous with Destiny ) presents - a Rendezvous with Bastards! Joined by the

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71:15

S3E13: The split II - Dogs Breakfast

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2024/09/13

Trevor has returned and has brought news of Cleo, but she needs help. So now Ze and Boris must race to finish their business on Garcia station to get to her aid. But just one thing, that business is an intergalactic war.Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Episode art by @georginalesaux Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat

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69:33

Introducing: The Sprouting

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2024/09/12

Hello Backwater Bastards listeners! This week, we're introducing you to The Sprouting, another actual play podcast we think you'll enjoy! The Sprouting Season 1, Ch. 01 The Meeting of Souls - Pt 1 Welcome to The Cradle. Our protagonists meet at a fuel stop... sorry, Gas Station... and come to the realization that travelling onwards as a group is far safer than travelling alone. As they navigate this eldritch plant strewn world, what horrors might they encounter? I guess you're about to find

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61:14

S3E12: The split I

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2024/08/29

Trevor has returned and has brought news of Cleo, but she needs help. So now Ze and Boris must race to finish their business on Garcia station to get to her aid. But just one thing, that business is an intergalactic war. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Episode art by @georginalesaux Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat

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27:06

BONUS | SideArm Offcuts

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2024/08/14

The bastards have been hit with the most ancient of foes, the scheduling big bad! and have lost. So this week instead of an episode we give you a tasty offcut. Please take this offering and grant us some extra time.Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel

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64:25

S3E11: Budgy Smuggler

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2024/08/01

Ze, Boris and M8 are at war. Barely alive and grappling with the deformed remnants of their plans, the Doctor and his crew face the wrath of the roused Synth Army. As the drones fly in, Ze and the assembled Bastards prepare for the end. But what they get, is something else entirely.Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Episode art by Salvo Ambiance sound support by Jamie

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74:10

S3E10: Junk in the trunk

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2024/07/17

Dr. Ze, Boris and M8 have no choice but to flee the Angel they came to save. With the help of a fast car, the legacy code, and Thespa’s militia, they brace for the impact to come… Both from the loose Angel, and the leagues of synthetic deserters- desperate for the refuge of a less violent world.Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Episode art by skiamakhia_/ Ambiance sound support

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89:56

S3E09: From Pod to Bod!

Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast ·

2024/06/19

The Doctor Ze , Boris and M8 otherwise known as PUMP BOIS are in some deep danger, how deep? try behind enemy lines deep. But they must go deeper if they are to find and free M8s angel.Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Episode art by IG @georginalesaux Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio Episode Edit / Sound design by

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