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PODCAST

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me LLC

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me is a story-driven Dungeons & Dragons actual-play podcast following a chaotic band of adventurers; Malcius the flamboyant tiefling bard, Sefi the towering goliath fighter, Thormir the mischievous dwarven druid, and Todd the masked half-elf rogue; guided by their long-suffering Dungeon Master, Jeff. Blending comedy, heartfelt roleplay, and cinematic storytelling, the party stumbles through bandits, beans, mysteries, and magical disasters as they try (and often fail) to

fiction comedy fiction

All Episodes

1:56:54

Episode 44: P.S.Hell

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/09/21

The party faces a terrifying new threat as a mysterious void portal tears open in a wheat field and brings a horde of sinister scarecrows to life. In this episode of You’ve Got to Be Critting Me, our adventure takes a dark autumn turn filled with strange powers, dangerous magic, and one very unsettling pumpkin-headed foe.DM: Jeffery JordanMalcius: Travis StewartSefi: Morgan GibsonThormir: Nick MillerTodd: Bryce ShearerPodcast art by Ada HathTheme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them

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1:06:07

Episode 43: Honor is Proven in Deed

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/09/07

On the road to Pendilor, the party gets sidetracked by a roadside dispute that threatens to become much more serious than it needs to be. After a little diplomacy, a little deception, and some less than honest extracurricular activity, they continue their journey, only to find that something strange is waiting for them further down the road.DM: Jeffery JordanMalcius: Travis StewartSefi: Morgan GibsonThormir: Nick MillerTodd: Bryce ShearerPodcast art by Ada HathTheme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore

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1:34:27

Q&A Behind the Scenes 1

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/08/25

Look, sometimes we can't all get together and play D&D. Sometimes only a few of us can get together and answer listener questions and just shoot the shit. This is one of those times. In this first episode of YGTBCM Q&A Behind the Scenes Jeff, Travis, and Nick answer listener questions and try to not let too many of Travis's pets interrupt the podcast.DM: Jeffery JordanMalcius: Travis StewartSefi: Morgan GibsonThormir: Nick MillerTodd: Bryce ShearerPodcast art by Ada HathTheme song "Royal

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1:14:09

Episode 42: Show Me What You're Packing in the Back

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/08/10

After a hard-fought battle, the party settles in for a much needed night of rest, reflection, and some questionable financial decisions. While Todd unloads a suspicious amount of merchandise, Thormir and Malcius deepen their connections with their mysterious motes, and Jeremiah gets his first real taste of life on the road. But as the group continues north, a roadside argument between two young nobles gives them one more distraction before they can reach their destination.DM: Jeffery JordanMalcius:

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1:34:10

Episode 41: What's in my Hole?

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/07/27

On the road to Aldenhold, the party encounters a mysterious hermit who asks them to reveal their hidden burdens in exchange for a peculiar gift. Their moment of reflection is quickly interrupted by a stampede and a deadly battle against a pair of monstrous insects.DM: Jeffery JordanMalcius: Travis StewartSefi: Morgan GibsonThormir: Nick MillerTodd: Bryce ShearerPodcast art by Ada HathTheme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple MusicAdditional DM elements by

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1:50

Through Your Tubes and Out Your Boobs

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/07/13

We maybe should have divided the last episode into two because, once again, we're having to skip a week. This podcasting thing is hard when we have to squeeze it in between our jobs that actually pay us. But I did promise a little bit of content before the next release, so feast your ears on this very strange conversation we had during the recording of our last episode. If you like this and want to hear a longer version you'll have to join our Patreon. Actually, can you just please join our Patreon

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1:58:10

Episode 40: Crop Dusted by Ghost Mom

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/07/01

Back in Sestone, the party takes stock of their belongings, gets a few mysterious magical items identified, and learns that Todd’s mask may be connected to something far more powerful than they realized. After sharing the story of their recent adventures with the townsfolk, Sefi is approached by Jeremiah, who asks to join the party and begin his own journey as an adventurer. Despite plenty of warnings, second thoughts, and concern from his parents, Jeremiah is allowed to tag along as the group heads

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0:41

A Quick Update on Episode 40

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/06/29

Hey guys, Travis here. Quick update on Episode 40: I’m working hard to get it finished, but unfortunately my full-time day job keeps insisting on being “important” and “necessary to survive.”I don’t want to rush the episode out before it’s fully polished and sounding the way you’ve come to expect from us, so give me just a couple more days and we’ll have that sweet, sweet content ready for your tender little ears.Thanks for sticking with us. The fact that you keep coming back means a lot, and I

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1:27:24

Episode 39: Grand Theft Arcana

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/06/15

The dream is over… and everything they stole is gone.Back in the real world, the party sets their sights on Pendilor, but first, a detour south. A midnight break-in, memories brought to life, and Thormir’s first swimming lesson await.DM: Jeffery JordanMalcius: Travis StewartSefi: Morgan GibsonThormir: Nick MillerTodd: Bryce ShearerPodcast art by Ada HathTheme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple MusicAdditional DM elements by LoresmythJoin our Patreon!Buy our

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1:44:13

Episode 38: One Giant Problem

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/06/01

Our heroes make it to the mountain in search of the missing villagers, only to discover that something huge might be waiting for them in the shadows.DM: Jeffery JordanMalcius: Travis StewartSefi: Morgan GibsonThormir: Nick MillerTodd: Bryce ShearerPodcast art by Ada HathTheme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple MusicAdditional DM elements by LoresmythJoin our Patreon!Buy our merch on our website!Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Threads Hosted on Acast. See

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59:53

Episode 37: What about my Taint?

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/05/18

Rory is back, but that does not mean the party is any closer to escaping the trial. After learning Todd’s transformation may be tied to the void, the Dragon King, and something far more dangerous than they understood, the group returns to Moonstone and finds the village completely abandoned. With no clear path forward, the party decides to trust their motes and follow wherever they lead.DM: Jeffery JordanMalcius: Travis StewartSefi: Morgan GibsonThormir: Nick MillerTodd: Bryce ShearerPodcast art by

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1:03:50

Episode 36: Blessed are the Unfated

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/05/04

Todd is back to normal. Mostly. Probably. For now.After some unexpected divine intervention, the party tries to unpack Todd’s sudden transformation, his new connection to a terrifying rat patron, and the very inconvenient fact that this may happen again. Soon.But there’s still a festival to attend, babies to bless, and apparently baby versions of Thormir and Malcius to emotionally process. As the Blessing of the Newborns begins, the party learns more about the Unfated Ones, the prophecy tied to

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1:39:20

Episode 35: The Early Rat Gets the Cheese

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/04/20

What should have been a celebration turns into chaos when Todd transforms far sooner than anyone expected. As the party scrambles to contain the fallout, they’re left with troubling new questions about the Blessing of the Newborns, Todd’s fate, and Rory’s disappearanceDM: Jeffery JordanMalcius: Travis StewartSefi: Morgan GibsonThormir: Nick MillerTodd: Bryce ShearerPodcast art by Ada HathTheme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple MusicAdditional DM elements by

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46:40

Parental Advisory - Episode 3: Cantrips? I thought...

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/04/06

Proll and his bandits make the mistake of standing in the party’s way, forcing Eric, Nyl, and C-Smooth into their first real fight. As the battle turns messy and the party scrambles to survive, they get their first taste of how dangerous the road to the caves really is, and what victory might cost.DM: Jeffery JordanEric the Cleric: Travis StewartC-Smooth: Cornelius Stewart IINyltra: Lynn StewartPodcast art by Ada HathTheme song "Hearthside Reels" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and

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49:59

Parental Advisory - Episode 2: Bad Signs on the Trail

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/03/23

A strange job. An abandoned wagon. A trail full of bad signs. In Episode 2 of You’ve Got to Be Critting Me: Parental Advisory, Eric, Nyl, and C-Smooth press onward toward a mysterious cave system as odd encounters and mounting danger make it clear their first adventure will not be a simple one.DM: Jeffery JordanEric the Cleric: Travis StewartC-Smooth: Cornelius Stewart IINyltra: Lynn StewartPodcast art by Ada HathTheme song "Hearthside Reels" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple

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34:57

Parental Advisory - Episode 1: Pretend for Grownups

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/03/09

For this special episode of You’ve Got to Be Critting Me, Travis and Jeff welcome two brand-new players to the table for a one-shot built around the Heroes of the Borderlands starter set. What begins as a simple introduction to character sheets, spells, and class choices quickly turns into a funny, charming, and surprisingly wholesome dive into the joy of learning Dungeons & Dragons for the first time. More than just an adventure, this episode is a reminder that you do not need experience to

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1:04:37

Episode 34: They Wanted Us to Win

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2026/01/12

The Winter Lunar Festival continues, but the longer the party stays, the harder it becomes to ignore that something is deeply wrong.As night falls without warning, the music stops and a makeshift arena is revealed at the heart of the celebration. What begins as harmless festival entertainment quickly turns personal when Sefi signs up to fight under a false name, and Todd follows suit with an alias of his own. With betting encouraged, rules vaguely defined, and magic strictly forbidden, the party

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1:13:52

Episode 33: The Illusion of Home

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2025/12/29

The party finds itself deeper within Rory’s trial as the illusion around them grows increasingly convincing, and increasingly dangerous. What began as a familiar Winter Lunar Festival in Thormir’s homeland quickly reveals itself to be something far more unsettling: a version of the past where loss never came, loved ones still walk the streets, and joy comes far too easily.As Thormir returns to his family home and confirms the impossible truth, the group reunites to share disturbing discoveries

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1:14:13

Episode 32: The Winter Lunar Festival

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2025/12/15

The party awakens from Rory’s unsettling trial and steps into a world transformed. Snow covers the earth, the cold cuts to the bone, and a familiar fear settles over Thormir as he recognizes a place that should not exist. The Winter Lunar Festival is alive with music, color, and celebration, yet something in the air feels wrong, as if the world itself is holding its breath.Each hero senses that this strange vision carries a truth they are not yet ready to face. Malcius struggles against the biting

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1:26:25

Episode 31: Fun Guy, Yeah Right

You"ve Got to Be Critting Me ·

2025/12/01

The party finally begins their long-promised training with Rory, the enigmatic druid who’s been guiding Thormir’s connection to his mote. What starts as peaceful meditation (and Sefi’s ill-advised mushroom trip) quickly spirals into a chaotic, high-stakes battle as Rory pushes the group far beyond their comfort zones.Between booming blades, teleporting strikes, bardic marches, shape-shifting, spore clouds, and a glowing mote that seems to have a will of its own, the team is forced to confront both

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