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More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids, Unlearning Fear, Becoming More Human

Heather Hester | Advocate for Parents of LGBTQ Teens

"Mom, I think I might be_____." Whether that sentence ended in gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, or something they"re still figuring out — you are in the right place. Maybe you"re scared. Maybe you"re grieving something you can"t quite name yet. Maybe you"re desperate to get this right and terrified that you"ve already gotten it wrong. This show is for you, exactly where you are right now. More Human. More Kind. is hosted by Heather Hester, author of Parenting with Pride and a fierce

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

06:43

One Simple Action to Support Your LGBTQ Loved One Today

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/10/02

What's one thing you can do today to support your LGBTQ loved one through coming out?This is the Friday Butterfly Effect episode for Tuesday's Coming Out Action Guide episode. Heather offers one word, one tiny action, one micro rebellion, and one line to steal, all built around a single finding: the biggest factor in a young person's coming out journey isn't having the right words. It's having one steady, accepting adult in their life.In this episode you'll learn how to:Replace a pointed question

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18:56

What to Actually Do at Every Stage of Coming Out: A...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/09/29

Find guides, tools, resources, and more!You know the six stages your teen moves through when they come out, and the six stages you move through as their parent. But what do you actually do at each one?This episode was inspired by listener feedback asking for more concrete next steps. Heather walks through a specific action for every single stage on both sides, your teen's process and your own, so you have real moves to make instead of just the ability to name where you are.In this episode you'll

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10:18

Presence, Not Fixing: Four Small Actions for Your...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/09/25

What do you actually say when your kid is hurting, and how do you know something's wrong before they tell you?This is the Friday follow-up to Tuesday's episode on queer dating and breakups. Heather offers four small actions split between the before-it-happens world of prevention and awareness and the it's-already-happening world of simply showing up. The facts equip you, but they aren't what your kid actually needs from you in the moment.In this episode you'll learn how to:Open the door to a

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24:36

Your Queer Kid's Breakup Isn't Like Yours: What...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/09/22

Do you know how to actually help your queer kid through a breakup, or are you using advice built for straight relationships?Both of Heather's daughters went through breakups within a month of each other this year, and it revealed just how underprepared she was to support them the way she wanted to. This episode debunks the most common and most dangerous stereotypes about queer relationships, walks through documented research on same-sex relationship stressors and abuse, and gives you language to

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09:29

Four Tiny Actions That Will Support Your Gay,...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/09/18

What does your gay son, lesbian daughter, or bisexual kid actually need from you this week?This follows up on Tuesday's episode about the real differences between a son and daughter coming out. Heather offers four small, specific actions, one for each thread from that conversation, so nothing gets lost in the idea that "gay is gay." Small doesn't mean simple. It means paying attention to which questions this particular kid is actually asking.In this episode you'll learn how to:Normalize health

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44:33

Books Are Windows and Mirrors: Sheri Becker on...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/09/16

SPECIAL EPISODE!What actually happens when a book gets banned, and who pays the price for it?Heather sits down with children's author and Whale Rock Workshops founder Sheri Becker to talk about why inclusive books matter for every kid on the shelf, not just the ones who see themselves in the story. Sheri pulls back the curtain on what it actually takes to write across difference, why publishers are quietly passing on great books before they're even banned, and what parents can do that actually moves

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42:02

A Gay Son and a Lesbian Daughter Need Different...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/09/15

"Gay is gay."Except it isn't. And if you're parenting both a son and a daughter through coming out, you may know that, but NOT know what to do.A gay son and a lesbian daughter face different stereotypes, different safety realities, and different early questions about who they are. This episode names both directly.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Debunk the most common stereotypes attached to gay sons and lesbian daughtersUnderstand the orientation-specific safety facts every parent needs:

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07:29

Four Tiny Actions for Every Stage of Your Own...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/09/11

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by all of the information coming at you?This week's Butterfly Effect gives you four tiny actions across four different points in your own process, from repairing a moment you regret to saying your pride out loud.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Use the specific repair language for a moment you wish you'd handled differentlyGet guilt out of your head and onto paper instead of letting it circle silentlyKnow what to do instead of arguing when you're stuck in conflictSay

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25:21

The Six Stages Every Parent Goes Through When Their...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/09/08

Your teen isn't the only one going through a coming out process. You are too, and most parents skip past their own.From shock to true acceptance, there are six distinct stages parents move through after a child comes out. Naming them makes the hardest parts- the guilt, the denial, the shame- survivable instead of silent.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Recognize which of the six stages you're in right now, from shock through true acceptanceWork through guilt and shame without carrying them for

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08:09

You Don't Need the Right Words: Coming Out Support in...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/09/04

Tuesday's six stages aren't just something to understand — they're something to practice.This week's Butterfly Effect gives you one small action for four different moments in your teen's coming out process, from staying present in silence to knowing exactly when to step back.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Practice being a "witness" instead of an investigator during the invisible early stageAsk the one question that takes pressure off your kid during the double-life stageRecognize when pulling

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27:20

Parents, Understand Your Teen's Coming Out Process...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/09/01

Looking for support but not quite sure what type? We've got you covered!Did you know that your teen may be going through the hardest, most private season of their life right now and showing you almost none of it?Coming out isn't one conversation; it's a six-stage internal process your teen may move through for years before they ever say the words out loud. Understanding where they are helps you know how to show up — and when quiet isolation is more than a phase.In this episode, you'll learn how

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06:45

A Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids Who Are Ready for...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/08/28

The unlearning doesn't stop. It just gets quieter, and quieter isn't the same as finished.This Butterfly Effect episode picks up Tuesday's quarterly check-in with one small practice: catching the reflex to label someone before you actually know anything true about them.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Notice the moment you want to label someone's gender or identity before you've been told anythingSit in uncertainty about someone's identity without reaching for a label to ease your own

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09:30

Unlearning Doesn't End It Just Gets Quieter: What...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/08/25

Let's connect on Substack!Love is proven by what you're willing to unlearn. This is a check-in on that, for you and for me.Year-one unlearning is loud: fear, shame, and often a full religious deconstruction, and impossible to miss. What comes after is quieter and easy to overlook entirely: the automatic reach for a label, a tidy category, before you actually know anything true about someone. This episode is an honest look at where allyship goes once the big, obvious work is behind you.In this

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06:59

The Unperformed Version of You: For Parents of LGBTQ...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/08/21

Have you ever felt like the more put together you are on the outside, the more chaotic you feel on the inside?This Butterfly Effect episode carries Tuesday's conversation about performance and honesty into one small, practical moment you can catch this week: the pause before you say "I'm fine" on autopilot.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Catch the moment you're about to perform "fine" instead of telling the truthSay one honest sentence this week that you'd normally edit outCheck in with

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12:06

What More Human Actually Means: Being Less Performed...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/08/18

Continue being more human on Substack!What does being “more human” mean to you?This episode is a personal one, tracing how performing "fine" for most of my life, learned as a survival mechanism, gave way to embracing the vulnerable, raw, and messy parts of who I actually am. It's a direct answer to the question at the center of this whole show, and an invitation for you to ask it of yourself.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Understand "more human" as more honest and less performed, not more

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07:48

Stop Apologizing for Being a Mama Bear: A Reset for...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/08/14

Do you think of a threshold as a potential stumbling block or the place you stand before walking into something new or unknown?This Butterfly Effect episode builds on Tuesday's conversation about the five back-to-school thresholds parents face, with a small practice to help you name yours out loud instead of carrying it silently into September.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Name your threshold to someone you trust instead of carrying it aloneReach out to one teacher or administrator before a

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11:05

Five Back to School Thresholds Every Parent of an...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/08/11

Grab the Panic to Plan Guide Join me on SubstackEvery August, before a single backpack gets packed, there's a threshold parents like us cross. Not the kids. Us.Interest: For parents of lgbtq teens, or kids who are neurodivergent, anxious, or otherwise vulnerable, back-to-school anxiety isn't extra worry stacked on top of normal parent worry. It's the baseline. This episode names five distinct versions of that threshold so you can walk in with your eyes open instead of just white-knuckling it.Desire:

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06:53

The One Question Every Parent of an LGBTQ Emerging...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/08/07

The goal was never to be needed forever. The goal was kids who still choose to confide in you even after they don't have to.This Butterfly Effect episode picks up right where Tuesday's conversation on parenting a queer teen versus a queer adult left off, with one small, doable practice for the week ahead. Allyship isn't just a big philosophy; it's built in tiny, repeatable moments like this one.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Practice becoming a confidant instead of a manager, one small moment

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16:21

Parents: The Slow Shift From Protecting Your Queer...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/08/04

Join me on SubstackThere's a day every parent of a queer kid hits, and nobody warns you it's coming: the day you realize you don't get a vote anymore.Parenting guidance for a queer teen looks nothing like parenting guidance for a queer adult, and almost nobody names the difference out loud. This episode walks through what actually changes, from gatekeeping their world to trusting them to build their own, and why that shift can feel like loss even when it's exactly what healthy allyship is supposed

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06:58

Ready to Cross the Threshold: Bold Allyship for...

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids,... ·

2026/07/31

Share The Panic to Plan Guide with someone!The courage becomes an orientation. But first you have to cross the threshold. This is your final Friday reset of the summer, and it is a good one.On Tuesday we talked about intentional kindness in LGBTQ+ allyship, the Threshold Moment, and the question that changes everything: what if it could also be fun? Today Heather closes out the summer with your Friday Butterfly Effect, a few small tools to carry the courage, the joy, and the intention of this season

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