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PODCAST

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems

Dr. Kristin & Dr. Laura

Welcome to But Why? — real talk on messy minds and messier systems. Hosted by two psychologists, Kristin and Laura, we dive deep into the psychology of human experience: from mental health and identity to power, culture, and the systems that shape our lives. Expect thoughtful conversations, critical questions, and honest reflections on how people—and the world—really work. No self-help platitudes. No easy answers. Just meaningful, accessible dialogue for curious minds. Topics we

society & culture life sciences

All Episodes

01:02:41

But Why Does Christmas Feel So Bittersweet? | Part 3:...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/12/21

We’ve talked nostalgia. We’ve talked stress. Now we’re getting real about how to survive the season with your sanity intact. In Part 3 of our Christmas series, Kristin and Laura tackle the big one: why this season feels so exhausting, and what we can actually do about it. This one’s for anyone who's ever felt like the holiday magic depends on them… and then quietly burned out in the background. We unpack:• Why women often are Christmas• The pressure to

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00:55:02

But Why Does Christmas Feel So Bittersweet? | Part 2:...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/12/12

In Part 2 of our holiday series, Kristin and Laura peel back the glitter to talk about the real stress under the tinsel...from sensory overload and grief to the gendered emotional labour that keeps the “magic” going. We unpack: Why the holidays feel more emotionally intense than joyful How old family roles resurface and trap us in the past The link between perfectionism, people-pleasing, and identity The hidden burnout of autistic masking in

en

00:55:02

But Why Does Christmas Feel So Bittersweet? | Part 2:...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/12/12

In Part 2 of our holiday series, Kristin and Laura peel back the glitter to talk about the real stress under the tinsel...from sensory overload and grief to the gendered emotional labour that keeps the “magic” going. We unpack: Why the holidays feel more emotionally intense than joyful How old family roles resurface and trap us in the past The link between perfectionism, people-pleasing, and identity The hidden burnout of autistic masking in

en

01:04:11

But Why Does Christmas Feel So Bittersweet? | Part 1:...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/12/09

In Part 1 of our holiday series, we deck the halls...and then unpack why it never quite feels the way it used to. Kristin and Laura get reflective (and slightly existential) about the bittersweet nature of Christmas nostalgia:Why does the run-up feel more magical than the day itself? Why do we cling to rituals even when they’re imperfect? And why does trying to recreate the past sometimes leave us feeling… worse? From the psychology of memory to

en

01:04:11

But Why Does Christmas Feel So Bittersweet? | Part 1:...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/12/09

In Part 1 of our holiday series, we deck the halls...and then unpack why it never quite feels the way it used to. Kristin and Laura get reflective (and slightly existential) about the bittersweet nature of Christmas nostalgia:Why does the run-up feel more magical than the day itself? Why do we cling to rituals even when they’re imperfect? And why does trying to recreate the past sometimes leave us feeling… worse? From the psychology of memory to

en

01:15:42

But Why is Politics so Messy? | Part 3: Psychology...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/11/27

In Part 3 of our But Why is Politics so Messy? series, we close with the big one: What can we actually do? After breaking down how people get pulled into harmful political narratives, Kristin and Laura flip the lens to explore how we resist authoritarianism without losing our minds (or ourselves). Together, we unpack: • Why people don’t believe things because they’re true, they believe them because it feels safer• How authoritarianism weaponises shame,

en

01:15:42

But Why is Politics so Messy? | Part 3: Psychology...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/11/27

In Part 3 of our But Why is Politics so Messy? series, we close with the big one: What can we actually do? After breaking down how people get pulled into harmful political narratives, Kristin and Laura flip the lens to explore how we resist authoritarianism without losing our minds (or ourselves). Together, we unpack: • Why people don’t believe things because they’re true, they believe them because it feels safer• How authoritarianism weaponises shame,

en

01:24:23

But Why is Politics so Messy? | Part 2: The Myth of...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/11/18

In Part 2 of our Messy Politics series, Kristin and Laura are joined by political psychology creator Keegan Tatum to unpack why logic rarely drives political decision-making...and why it’s actually our emotions that vote first. We explore the myth of the rational voter and ask: Why people stay loyal to systems that hurt them How disgust, shame, and fear fuel the right What motivates the “I don’t do politics” crowd The psychology of

en

01:24:23

But Why is Politics so Messy? | Part 2: The Myth of...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/11/18

In Part 2 of our Messy Politics series, Kristin and Laura are joined by political psychology creator Keegan Tatum to unpack why logic rarely drives political decision-making...and why it’s actually our emotions that vote first. We explore the myth of the rational voter and ask: Why people stay loyal to systems that hurt them How disgust, shame, and fear fuel the right What motivates the “I don’t do politics” crowd The psychology of

en

01:08:53

But Why is Politics so Messy? | Part 1: The...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/11/11

Part 1 of our new series: But Why is Politics so Messy?In a world on fire, why do so many people double down, look away…or stay stuck? In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore the psychology of political identity and why some people cling to harmful ideologies while others retreat into silence, shock, or denial.From Terror Management Theory to psychological flexibility, we unpack how identity, fear, and social safety shape what we believe, and why it’s

en

01:08:53

But Why is Politics so Messy? | Part 1: The...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/11/11

Part 1 of our new series: But Why is Politics so Messy?In a world on fire, why do so many people double down, look away…or stay stuck? In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore the psychology of political identity and why some people cling to harmful ideologies while others retreat into silence, shock, or denial.From Terror Management Theory to psychological flexibility, we unpack how identity, fear, and social safety shape what we believe, and why it’s

en

00:55:16

But Why Do We Create Monsters? | Part 3: Fear,...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/10/28

Part 3 of our Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors If monsters reflect our fears, what does it say that we keep making them? In this final episode of our Halloween trilogy, Kristin and Laura dig deep into the psychology of monstering, from ancient instincts to modern media. We explore how and why the human brain was built to see monsters...and why we still crave them. From evolutionary survival mechanisms to existential dread, we unpack: How fear

en

00:55:16

But Why Do We Create Monsters? | Part 3: Fear,...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/10/28

Part 3 of our Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors If monsters reflect our fears, what does it say that we keep making them? In this final episode of our Halloween trilogy, Kristin and Laura dig deep into the psychology of monstering, from ancient instincts to modern media. We explore how and why the human brain was built to see monsters...and why we still crave them. From evolutionary survival mechanisms to existential dread, we unpack: How fear

en

00:59:55

But Why Do We Create Monsters? | Part 2: Witches,...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/10/21

️ Part 2 of our Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors ️If today’s monsters reflect modern fears…what were we afraid of 500 years ago? In this time-travelling episode, Kristin and Laura head back to the past to ask: where did our monsters come from, and what were they covering up? From witch trials to mummies, this episode unpacks: Why werewolves symbolised the “untamed man” Why vampires became sexualised aristocrats How zombies reflect fears of

en

00:59:55

But Why Do We Create Monsters? | Part 2: Witches,...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/10/21

️ Part 2 of our Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors ️If today’s monsters reflect modern fears…what were we afraid of 500 years ago? In this time-travelling episode, Kristin and Laura head back to the past to ask: where did our monsters come from, and what were they covering up? From witch trials to mummies, this episode unpacks: Why werewolves symbolised the “untamed man” Why vampires became sexualised aristocrats How zombies reflect fears of

en

00:50:34

But Why Do We Create Monsters? | Part 1: Fear, Power...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/10/14

This is Part 1 of our special Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors What if our monsters say more about us than them? In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore how monsters are a social mirror...a way for powerful systems to project fear, control bodies, and avoid accountability. From witches to AI, we unpack how "the monster" is used to enforce social boundaries, uphold hierarchies, and distract from systemic rot. We dive into: Why power needs

en

00:50:34

But Why Do We Create Monsters? | Part 1: Fear, Power...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/10/14

This is Part 1 of our special Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors What if our monsters say more about us than them? In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore how monsters are a social mirror...a way for powerful systems to project fear, control bodies, and avoid accountability. From witches to AI, we unpack how "the monster" is used to enforce social boundaries, uphold hierarchies, and distract from systemic rot. We dive into: Why power needs

en

00:56:51

But Why Are Women Falling Down the Rabbit Hole? |...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/09/30

In the final episode of our alt-right pipeline series, we explore what happens after the soft aesthetics and curated control stop working. Kristin and Laura dig into the messy, often shame-filled reality of trying to leave a system that promised empowerment and control, but in reality, delivers performance, exhaustion, obedience, and even harm. We unpack: Why leaving can feel like an identity collapse The shame, grief, and cognitive dissonance that

en

00:56:51

But Why Is It So Hard to Leave? Part 3 | Shame,...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/09/30

In the final episode of our alt-right pipeline series, we explore what happens after the soft aesthetics and curated control stop working. Kristin and Laura dig into the messy, often shame-filled reality of trying to leave a system that promised empowerment and control, but in reality, delivers performance, exhaustion, obedience, and even harm. We unpack: Why leaving can feel like an identity collapse The shame, grief, and cognitive dissonance that

en

00:59:56

But Why Is Softness So Seductive? | Wellness,...

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems ·

2025/09/23

In Part 2 of our series on the alt-right pipeline for women, we explore how wellness aesthetics and therapeutic language become tools of discipline, not liberation. Kristin and Laura dissect the soft side of authoritarianism - how empowerment becomes obedience, rest becomes performance, and the internet whispers: “Shh, just be palatable.” ✨ This episode unpacks: The rise of the “soft girl era” and why it feels so good How language like “divine

en

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