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PODCAST

Hard Choices

From the creators of Smash Fiction, it"s horniness meets science! We examine a fictional universe and rank the f*ckability of the characters to determine the true median on our collective boner scale. Who exactly is the middle of the pack in Lord of the Rings? Who is the middle ground of sexiness in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Just where does the horniness middle fall in Game of Thrones? We bring together a diverse array of sexualities, rank the characters, crunch the numbers, and find out truly

comedy

All Episodes

01:49:25

Hard Choices 47 - Comic Book Villains [Live at Tucson...

Hard Choices ·

2025/09/30

At last! We have you in our clutches, restrained and unable to do anything but sit back and listen to our objectively correct* takes on some of the most fuckable villains that comic books have to offer! You will join Dan Mulkerin, Claire Mulkerin, JoJo Seames, and MeganBob as they deliver diabolical monologues guaranteed to set both heart and loins aflame. They tangle with the likes of Lex Luthor and Doctor Doom along with some villains who you might not expect like Batroc the Leaper and Orca the

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02:17:04

Hard Choices 45 - Homestar Runner [feat. Patrick...

Hard Choices ·

2025/07/31

Everybody to the limit! Well, maybe past the limit, because yes, we're ranking the fuckability of the Homestar Runner universe. Does it matter to you if the Cheat lives in a grill? Do you care if Homestar Runner is wearing pants? Just what can Strong Bad do while wearing boxing gloves? Join Patrick Rothfuss, James, D'Amato, Dillin Apelyan, Annie Craton, and MeganBob as they explore what makes fucking Senor Cardgage a 'probalo', whether getting possibly eaten by the King of Town is a dealbreaker,

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03:02:42

Hard Choices 41 - Dragon Ball

Hard Choices ·

2024/12/01

This enormous episode is guaranteed to make you go super saiyan! Now, will it be with shock? Outrage? Sheer overwhelming horniness? You'll have to listen to find out! We cover the sexual prowess of characters from the length, breadth, and width of Dragon Ball, in search of the median, zenith, and nadir of bedroom performance. The list of characters was so vast and series spanning, we broke our previous power levels and went to 23! Join four intrepid kamehamehos, Annie Craton, James D'Amato, Chris

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02:00:50

Hard Choices 40 - What We Do in the Shadows

Hard Choices ·

2024/10/29

Hard Choices returns once more to stalk the night in search of boners. This time, it's every fuckable fuck-up in the world of What We Do in the Shadows. That's right! You get vampires, werewolves, a zombie, a milf, it's everything you could possibly want, plus a bunch of fun vampire accents! Join the Hard Choices clan of Kris Newton, Dan, Kit, and MeganBob as they knock coffins with the Manhattan clan of the tv show and the original New Zealand clan of the movie. Hear Dan damn Sean Rinaldi with the

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11:56

Bad Choices Announcement - Nick at Nite Couples

Hard Choices ·

2024/10/28

Bad Choices - Nick at Nite Couples is taking every single familiar face from mid-century American television and we're gonna get filthy with them. Saturday, November 23rd, at 5pm Pacific is when it kicks off, and you can go! All you have to do is be a patron of Hard Choices at any level. That's right, for a mere $1.69 you can get stuffed on the backlog of bonus content, as well as joining James D'Amaton, Kris Newton, Marissa, and MeganBob for the Bad Choices -Nick at Nite Couples livestream that is

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02:24:06

Hard Choices 38 - X-Men

Hard Choices ·

2024/08/31

In a world that hates and fears them, only four people are brave enough to stand up in public on the internet and rank the fuckability of 21 of Marvel comics most fuckable team, the X-Men. Chris Sims, Dan, Kam Servo, and MeganBob enter the bedroom with characters ranging from Cyclops to Emma Frost to Magneto to Storm, and come out the other side with definitive rankings that you, the internet public, are just going to have to live with. No, it's not about what they look like. It's about what they

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02:34:03

37 - Nicolas Cage Characters: Part Two

Hard Choices ·

2024/08/01

Our thirst for Nicolas Cage cannot be quenched after just a single episode about his many starring roles. Hell, I don't know if our thirst for Cage is quenched after a second episode either, but for now, you have a fresh 2+ hours of Miles, Dan, Kit, Claire, and MeganBob peering into the dark heart of Cagemas and trying to figure out how these characters bone down. Join us as we tackle Ben Gates from National Treasure, Castor Troy from Face/Off, Cameron Poe from Con Air, and so many more strange

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02:06:31

Hard Choices 35 - Dragons

Hard Choices ·

2024/05/31

If you've got a burning desire for enormous winged reptiles, then do we have the episode for you! In this, perhaps the most monsterfuckiest episode of Hard Choices to date, we take a look at 21 of the hottest, sexiest dragons from across media of all kinds! Well... "sexiest" may be stretching it in some cases. But hey, when you've got as much dragon boning to get through as we do, stretching is pretty much inevitable. Join Annie, Dan, Kit, and Meganbob as we bone our way across the many accumulated

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01:52:33

Patreon Treats - Weird Choices Cutlery [feat. Annie...

Hard Choices ·

2024/04/16

Bad Choices is coming for you on Saturday, April 20th at 5PM PT and it's coming hard! As a result of all the Bad Choices hullabaloo, among other things, MeganBob couldn't pull together an episode for April in time, but this is two gems from the Patreon feed featuring Bad Choices co-hosts Annie Craton and Dan Mulkerin. Click HERE to register for Bad Choices so you don't miss one second of the action! Believe me, you'll be glad you did. Can you afford to miss James D'Amato doing a Zorak impression

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01:57:31

Hard Choices 34 - Our Flag Means Death

Hard Choices ·

2024/03/31

Avast, my hearties. It’s time to hoist the colors and set sail for an experience that Talk Like a Pirate day really didn’t prepare us for. This is Hard Choices, the podcast that ranks the fuckability of fictional characters looking for the zenith, median, and nadir in a given universe, but really, it’s about all the timbers we shivered along the way. This month, we’re plunging our swords into Our Flag Means Death! Join me, Captain MeganBob, and me hearties Aly Grauer, Mel D'Amato, and James

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02:05:06

Hard Choices 33 - Baldur's Gate

Hard Choices ·

2024/02/13

We at Hard Choices like to think we have our fingers on the throbbing pulse of pop culture, so when Baldur's Gate 3 won just about every Game of the Year award purely out of how horny it made everyone, we knew we couldn't pass up the opportunity to explore the delicious nooks and sweaty crannies of the Sword Coast through the lens of this groundbreaking, bed-shaking trilogy. Join Dan, Maq, Miles, and Meganbob as we ask: which heroes and villains are we saving our highest-level spell slots for, and

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02:04:50

Hard Choices 32 - BLEACH

Hard Choices ·

2024/01/23

NOTE: You want a calendar with shirtless Irish farmers on it? Naturally, you do. Throw $4.20 at Hard Choices and get entered to win one of these three perfect pieces of useful wall art. It was just another quiet day in the Soul Society until Hard Choices rolled up, ready to find out exactly how much reishi everyone has under those robes! Kurotsuchi probably already knows the answer to that question, but his methods for finding out just aren't personal enough for Neal Butler, Kit, MeganBob, and

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02:28:33

Hard Choices 31 - Parks and Recreation

Hard Choices ·

2023/12/30

Big government isn't sexy. But small government? Local government? That government where you can get right up close and see the process unfolding. That government where you can run into your city councilor at the gym? Or at the local liquor store? Or trying to bribe a raccoon for votes? That's the kinda government you can get down and dirty with. This month, Hard Choices visits the recent past with a trip to Pawnee, Indiana. Yes, the bright-eyed innocence and the can-do attitude that believes yes,

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02:03:50

Hard Choices 30 - 80's Cartoon Icons [Live at Rose...

Hard Choices ·

2023/11/27

Hard Choices swept through all of the 80's cartoons you know and love to select the cream of the crop (and Allo from Dinosaucers) to make sure that this episode is peak after peak. You can expect Big Feels aplenty from Hub, Annie Craton, Meganbob, and host, Kris Newton, as they get vocal about Cobra Commander, Master Splinter, Gadget, and Krang. Never has a group of characters cried out so powerfully for us to ask "how good is the sex and what is it like?" and we can promise that you'll get some

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01:51:33

Hard Choices 29 - Cryptids

Hard Choices ·

2023/10/31

On September 3rd, 2023, four plucky perverts disappeared into the depths of the Internet while recording a podcast about their yearning to fuck cryptids. One month later, their audio was found. (Then, the editor spent three weeks making it listenable. Two of the hosts were sick and the other two were sharing a microphone, so there are probably some errant thumps and sniffles, but let's not speak ill of the mysteriously vanished.) This episode is dedicated to James D'Amato MeganBob Kit and Sarah

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11:20

Hard Choices - 2023 Trailer

Hard Choices ·

2023/10/12

Can something be simultaneously wholesome, horny, and hilarious? Only if you're the Hard Choices podcast. Hard Choices looks at the bedroom skill of fictional characters and asks "how good is the sex and what is it like?" What does that sound like as a podcast? Buddy, this trailer takes you through some highest highs and most unbelievable lows of ranking the f*ckability of fictional characters. If you've ever thought that Miss Piggy was a pillow princess or that Ra's al Ghul was a Daddy, this show

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02:13:06

Hard Choices 28 - Shakespeare

Hard Choices ·

2023/09/13

If Shakespeare were alive today, he would have a podcast. What kind, you ask? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it would feature iambic pentameter, stirring monologues, wall-to-wall dirty jokes, and flexible attitudes towards sex and gender. Holy shit, is MeganBob Shakespeare?! Maybe so, because all of those things appear in this Hard Choices episode about the works of the Bard! Lend us your ears as Dan Mulkerin, Cate Osborn (aka Catieosaurus), and Stella Cheeks join Bob not to praise 21 of

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03:29

RCCC Live Show Update

Hard Choices ·

2023/08/31

We have a date and time for our Rose City Comic Con live show: Sunday, September 24th from 4-5 PM in room D135-136! Come see the show, hear us rank 80s cartoon characters, get your free gift baggie, and hang out with us!

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02:07:40

Hard Choices 27 - Dragon Age

Hard Choices ·

2023/08/27

From a dank jail cell, where they are being interrogated by the Seekers of Truth (who may end up learning more truths than they bargained for), MeganBob hosts Hard Choices: Dragon Age Edition! Hornier than a whole platoon of Qunari warriors, MeganBob is joined by Elven Ranger Annie Craton, mononymous Human Bard Maquenzie, and the very best nug in Thedas, Kit, as they plumb the depths of the Deep Roads, scale the peaks of the Frostback Mountains, and stroll across the Elvish Dales in search of the

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02:43:37

Hard Choices 26 - Spider-Man

Hard Choices ·

2023/07/16

We all know that with great power comes great responsibility. You know what else comes with great power? Us when we think about Spider-Man! It's not just Peter Parker who makes our web-shooters go thwip, either; he's got a huge cast of friends, foes, and supporting characters to suit every taste, from monsterfucks like Venom, to adorable loser fucks like The Shocker, to the jackpot herself, Mary Jane. This episode, your friendly neighborhood MeganBob pushes DEEP into the Spiderverse to find the

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