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PODCAST

Premeditated

Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde

Etiquette has a new judge.Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde investigate improvised social lawbreaking in a moderately thrilling, low-stakes fictional true crime podcast. We weekly and boldly prosecute the most innocuous violations of social decorum in a world that’s both too polite for its own good, and too shamelessly chaotic to continue unpunished. In each episode, one of us brings a "case file", an unlegislated social law. We collectively create a scene in which this law is broken, leaving the

comedy

All Episodes

00:38:51

AJ Lubecker v. Premature Tab Closing

Premeditated ·

2025/11/04

[Olde Timey Baseball Broadcaster]: "And here comes Lubecker to the bar counter. Cool drink of milk, this kid is. Gritted his way through the high school party scene, and now boasts a 3 drink minimum tab in the local bar scene".On this episode of PREMEDITATED, AJ Lubecker joins Graham and Neil to deliberate the oft witnessed single beverage tabs. They also find time to pass verdicts on city halls, CCV numbers and people who are bummers.—Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement

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00:43:16

Sam Bodenstein v. Delegating Plans

Premeditated ·

2025/10/28

"We should hang out!" --- OH NO! NOT AGAIN! My blood curdles with indecision. "Yeah! Let's hang out. Now what?Now nothing, unless one of us makes another first move.We get to the bottom of this standoff in this weeks episode with the mustachioed heartthrob of indie improv: Sam Bodenstein.FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE:https://www.instagram.com/premeditatedpod/https://www.tiktok.com/@premeditatedpodhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0R94ymhWOMibKQ53PLKjZXPremeditated Podcast is created and hosted

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00:49:00

Fin Argus v. Unsolicited D--k Pics

Premeditated ·

2025/10/21

Fin Argus, musician and host of One of Us Podcast joins us to solicit the unsolicitable: The Dicture Picture itself. We celebrate the 23rdnd letter of the alphabet and Neil decrees that the wold fill his phone with the unspeakable graphic pics that plague so many of our straight sisters' dating profiles. Yes, Neil will gladly fall on that phallic grenade. Grindr vs Scruff and uncontrollable tics have been discussed at length. Join us, Jurors.W.FOLLOW US

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00:43:51

Ciara Robinson v. Wellness Influencers

Premeditated ·

2025/10/14

The district court of being your best self is in session, with a wellness journey that noone wants to get onto. The incomparable Ciara Robinson @ciaracrobinson deliberates Wellness Influencers with Graham and Neil in this no holds barred knockout of a performance, taking on the matcha yogis and tradwife vibeslingers. We also discuss the rise of queer youth in JNCO jorts, a new miracle cure for male pattern baldness, and whether Usain Bolt's shoe game would be better with running support, or if

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00:43:19

Lincoln Debenham v. Ghosting Your Own Plans

Premeditated ·

2025/10/07

Hey America, are you ready to HAM it up! Well shoot muh toots! We got a DEBENair guest that's ready to go HAM! On this face-palming episode of Premeditated, Graham and Neil enlist their friend Lincoln to evaluate people who ghost the plans they made (couldn't be us). They also find time to pass verdicts on coyotes, state senators and alternative methods of public transit.—Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on mundane micro-crimes or you just love watching stuff on YouTube,

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00:47:54

Charlie James v. Nosy Neighbors

Premeditated ·

2025/09/30

Ahoy Jurors! Avast! Land hoooooooo!On this episode, Charlie James foxtrots into the Law Offices of Premeditated with an absolute stunnah of a case: is a neighbor's nosey nose too nosey? The judges also find time to discuss Q-tips, dietary privileges and candle making as a small business. —Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on mundane micro-crimes or you just love watching stuff on YouTube, subscribe to our channel today

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00:51:22

Jon Braylock v. Judging Thirst Traps

Premeditated ·

2025/09/23

Hello America, it's been a hot summer and we've got the perfect podcast to quench your dry, dry mouths.On this episode, Jon Braylock (Astronomy Club, Comedy Bang Bang, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) enlists Graham and Neil to deliberate the fairness in judging thirst traps. They also find time to pass verdicts on which of their body parts they feel positive about, spreadable cheeses and Jon's pick-up basketball career.—Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on mundane

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00:38:53

Marquis The Honey Bear v. Soft Launching Break-Ups

Premeditated ·

2025/09/16

Deception is the root of all HOT PODCASTS! Enter Marquis The Honey Bear, he puts the honey in honeypot.On this episode, Graham, Neil and Marquis deliberate hinting or "soft launching" your future break-up on social media. They also find time to pass verdicts on the Book of Job, paloma cocktails and terms for the two diagonal hip creases that lead to a man's ---!—Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on mundane micro-crimes or you just love watching stuff on YouTube, subscribe to our

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00:40:30

Us v. "California Sober"

Premeditated ·

2025/09/09

Hello Jurors, welcome to Season 2 of our courtroom. We’re back and ready to put the “us” in “U.S.”.On this episode, Graham and Neil deliberate the term California Sober, more specifically saying "California Sober" out loud with words. They also find time to pass verdicts on dairy tolerances, sudokus and proper ball throwing motion.—Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on mundane micro-crimes or you just love watching stuff on YouTube, subscribe to our channel today

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01:01:49

Call-In Show (Pt. 2) - SEASON 1 FINALE - EP030

Premeditated ·

2025/07/01

Our phone lines are lighting up! No sorry, we can't lie to you. It's our duty as judges to tell the truth....we don't have phone lines. We have a G-Mail digital phone message system. But that is lighting up with voicemails from YOU!We continue PART 2 of our SEASON 1 FINALE by tackling your pressing social questions and quandaries. We've donned our wigs and ensconced ourselves in velvet (nope sorry, lied again. It's polyester) and are ready to give America what it wants. The

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00:58:31

Call-In Show Pt. 1 - SEASON 1 FINALE - EP029

Premeditated ·

2025/06/24

Ring-a-ling! Someone pick up the phone! Caller ID says: YOUAmerica has gripes. Social gripes. Etiquette is going unchecked left, right and center. Our beloved listeners from across the globe have cases they need solved. The law of offices of Premeditated are here to help. Through guided litigation, we lead our listeners through the murky legal waters of: Venmo request etiquette, breaking up over grammar, naming conventions for candy sizes and disingenuous “how are you’s”.Tune in to hear our

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00:46:41

Gifts v. Petco's Aquarium Section (with Girls Night)...

Premeditated ·

2025/06/17

Who run the Court? GIRLS!! Who gives pets as gifts? Hopefully only people who intimately know your schedule and capabilities!!On this SPECIAL EPISODE of Premeditated our favorite improv group in town, Girls Night (Danielle Shvartsman, Jasmine Elist, Lizzie McGroder) drop by our law office to debate in the teenage-old question: should you give pets as gifts?Are there be size limitations? Does the gift have to include the tank or cage or requisite apparatus? Is there a maximum limit on the gift pet’s

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00:31:22

Parenthood v. Open Mouth Kissing (with Haley OC) - EP027

Premeditated ·

2025/06/03

Human parents. The things that everyone, except Mork and Kyle XY, have. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re the reason we all exist. But we’re all (biological) adults now. And adults kiss. So…wait, are you saying? Should we be smooching our parents? Cheek, lips or tongue, our dear friend and future White Sox manager Haley OC has a ruling for each part of the face. She lays a lip-smacking legal smackdown on modern parenthood.How long of a kiss is too long? What age is too old for a cheek pinch? If you’re

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00:34:19

Breakup Texts v. IRL (with Jenny Zigrino) - EP026

Premeditated ·

2025/05/27

Look who’s still here! It’s Jenny Zigrino, the queen of the bicoastal breakup. This week, Los Angeles’ avoidant nature comes face to face with a New York attitude. We all know that relationships don’t last, but how do you handle that awkward dismount? Should you flick your boyfriend’s forehead, just slap the guy, or send a quick text? Should you even tell your partner that they aren’t the one, or let them figure it out on the internet? Are these questions pathologically unkind? Find out this

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00:30:25

Grocery Trips v. Clipboards (with Lizzie McGroder) -...

Premeditated ·

2025/05/20

America, listen, parking lots are getting hectic y'all. You ever tried to "swing by" Trader Joe's on a Sunday morning? You ever backed into a fly-away shopping cart? And that's all before you have to wade through the ocean of clipboards guarding the door!It's all too much handle, unless your name starts with an L and ends in an izzie McGroder. The legend herself (@scootermcgroder) swung by the Premeditated law offices to drop off her latest legislative measures on Solicitor Interactions.Is it okay

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00:38:06

Elevator Companions v. Jenny in Apt 3B

Premeditated ·

2025/05/13

Ding Dong! No, it’s not the death of the Wicked Witch. It’s the arrival of the elevator at a non-schedule floor.But, oh poop! Someone’s trying to get on!Act Quick! Do you:A) Hammer Door CloseB) Heroically throw your arm in between the Jaws of DeathC) Pretend to do a NYT mini crosswordD) Offer your fellow rider a Laffy TaffyThis week’s leather dossier was brought to our desk by the undisputed first chair cellist, Jasmine Elist (@jasmineelist), who graciously stepped away from the Vienna

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00:43:02

Boots v. Fur (with Haley OC)

Premeditated ·

2025/05/06

A crisp autumn breeze on your face. Your hands warmed by a foil-covered casserole dish. Anticipation of spending quality time with friends fresh on your mind. The front door opens, you step into the foyer, a friendly Labrador wags their tale in greeting…but wait, would you mind removing your shoes?Record scratch. The scene freezes. It’s time we get the lawyers involved. Enter HALEY OC (@MILFWEEED). She’s got two thumbs, a pending insurance card and a J.D. in Social Law and Potluck Etiquette. This

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00:32:13

Daddy's Nails v. The Kitchen Table

Premeditated ·

2025/04/29

Ooooh boy, we may have stepped in it on this one. There are picketers outside the courthouse! Our gavels are in hot water!No need to schedule your manicurist this week, Judges Neil and Graham are here to settle all your nail care needs. We take an archeological trip through human history to search for one reason why witnessing fingernail trimming is gross.Is our own mortality? Is nail the same stuff as hair? It's just the boys and our keychain trimmers on an all NEW PREMEDITATED.Hosted by Graham

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00:29:33

Social Prattle v. Should We Tattle (with Jenny Zigrino)

Premeditated ·

2025/04/22

Oh gossip, that ancient pleasure.A victimless crime... right? Right.This week we’re joined by Jenny Zigrino to dig into the social laws on hot, juicy gossip. Together, we can make America gossip again, and spill the proverbial tea into the Boston Harbor. Is it only okay if it’s about someone your gossip partner knows? Can the courts institute men-in-black style gossip forgetting technology? Does Jenny have a power kink?All of the questions that you didn't think would get asked are getting

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00:45:07

A Person's Birthday v. A Cat's Desire (with Danielle...

Premeditated ·

2025/04/15

What’s an excuse to party but not quite as special as your birthday party? That’s right. Someone else’s birthday party. And what’s more complicated than Italian physicist Gabriele Veneziano’s string theory? When your friend doesn’t want to do anything for their birthday but you think that deep down they may want you to actually do something but they don’t want to have to ask you to do something!!! Right again!The good men at the law offices of Premeditated welcome back their all-time favorite

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