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PODCAST

Enneagram and Marriage

Christa Hardin, MA

The Enneagram and Marriage Podcast, hosted by Christa Hardin, MA, is rooted in two decades of experience counseling and coaching couples. On top of her expert marriage advice, Christa uses the Enneagram to add another layer of understanding in how we work as individuals and gives us deeper insight into how we connect and shine together in marriage and relationships across the collective community.

education self-improvement

All Episodes

15:53

The Family Ledger: What You're Holding Onto & What...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/03/04

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I didn't get affection as a kid, so I'm going to make sure my kids get it" and then noticed you overwhelm them just a tad? Or maybe, "My parents never helped me, so I'm going to do for mine what I didn't get", but then your spouse gets your leftovers? That's the family ledger at work, an invisible accounting system tracking what you got, what you didn't get, and what you think you're owed. In this episode, Christa unpacks how this ledger from your family of

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51:52

The Longing Inside: How Family Systems Shapes Love...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/03/02

Christa sits down with listener fave Jay Stringer, therapist and author of his brand new book Desire: The Longing Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow, for a conversation that bridges family systems, differentiation, and sexual intimacy in marriage. Jay breaks down how your family of origin shapes not just your attachment style but your sexual desire, why differentiation is essential for healthy intimacy, and how couples can stop triangulating their kids into their marriage

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41:29

Listener Requested Interview Flip: Christa’s Work in...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/02/26

In this special listener-requested episode, the tables turn! Christa's daughter Hannah (the graphic designer behind Enneagram and Marriage) takes over as host to interview Christa about the questions you've been asking AND to share special E + M family news as another MFT in training gets added to the family: Hannah asks questions, What was her childhood like? What does she wish she'd known before marriage? Why does she love family systems theory so much? How does she regulate her nervous system

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64:44

How Your Type Processes Conflict (Attachment Series...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/02/23

In this final episode of the attachment series, Christa sits down with another Enneagram expert, Jeff Cook, Enneagram Type 1, philosopher, former pastor, and co-host of the popular Around the Circle Enneagram podcast, as we talk about attachment and how couples can process conflict. We also talk about his new book Around the Circle: An Enneagram Book (June 2025). Unlike most Enneagram books that profile types individually, Jeff's book explores nine essential questions everyone faces (like "How do I

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29:45

What Secure Attachment Actually Looks Like (And What...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/02/18

In this episode, Christa breaks down one of the most hopeful concepts in attachment theory: earned secure attachment. You are NOT stuck with the attachment style you developed in childhood. Whether you're anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, you can actually rewire your brain and nervous system to respond differently in relationships. Christa dives into the six-step roadmap to earning secure attachment: awareness, nervous system regulation, repair work, practice in relationships, and consistency

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55:21

Don't Settle for Lonely: Relationships Your Soul...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/02/16

In this episode, Christa sits down with Alli Patterson, type 8 (8-1 pairing), teaching Pastor at Crossroads Church, author of Blueprint for Belonging and How to Stay Standing, and founder of the Ignite Conference to talk about the five types of relationships we all need to thrive: your core, circle, comrades, community, and crowd. Alli, who holds a seminary degree from Dallas Theological Seminary and just also released Spirit-Led Bible Study in February 2026 (this month!), breaks down how loneliness

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28:07

Valentine's Special: Attachment Styles Meet Enneagram...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/02/11

In this episode, Christa continues the February series on Attachment Styles Meets Enneagram by walking through all nine types and exploring two critical questions: How do you attach well to yourself, and how do you attach well to your partner? She opens by acknowledging the need for God and self-regulation (and five fun Valentine's Dates!), and then we breaks down each type's unique attachment challenges and growth narratives together. Christa makes it clear that secure attachment starts

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45:42

This Little Fire of Mine: Addressing Doubt as You...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/02/09

In this conversation, Christa sits down with Kendall Mariah, author of the brand-new book This Little Fire of Mine: How Flickers of Doubt Can Spark a Bolder, Brighter Faith, to explore what happens when you stop performing faith and start living it authentically, especially in marriage. Kendall Mariah, 3, an adoptive mom, Army wife, and founder of Unapologetic Ministry, invites us to embrace holy discomfort, lean into doubt, and ask the hard questions we've been told to avoid. In this episode, they

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17:15

Attachment: Anxious Meets Avoidant - The Most Common...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/02/04

In this mini but important episode, Christa tackles the most common, and most painful, dynamic in marriage: the anxious-avoidant pairing. If you've ever felt like you're constantly chasing your spouse for connection while they pull away, or if you feel overwhelmed by a partner who won't give you breathing room, this episode will help you understand why these attachment styles are magnetically drawn to each other and how the pursue-withdraw cycle keeps you stuck. In this intro episode, Christa gives

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41:51

Using Your Voice in Marriage: The Cost of Being Too...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/02/02

What if the real reason marriages fail isn't a lack of connection but years of staying silent and avoiding conflict? Licensed marriage and family therapist Colette Jane Fehr joins us in an attachment-based discussion to discuss her new book The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love (releases February 3, 2026). As a Type 7, Colette shares how even optimistic, future-focused types can fall into avoidant patterns, sidestepping day-to-day disputes and

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20:37

When Instincts Turn Dark: Staying Human in Hard Times

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/01/28

As we wrap up the conversation on instincts, Christa brings you a powerful episode exploring how our three instincts—self-preservation, sexual, and social—can turn dark or animal-like when we're scared, threatened, or in pain in our marriages or world, and we talk about how to slow down, stay kind stay human, godly, and loving in hard or dystopic times. Though the episode is grounded and practical, Christa addresses cognitive heuristics and mental shortcuts humans can use to dehumanize the "other"

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36:47

Abandoning Misogyny and Misandry for Mutual...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/01/26

Dorothy Littell Greco, marriage ministry leader and author joins us for a powerful conversation about abandoning misogyny and misandry (disdain for all men or women) in favor of mutual flourishing in marriage, including sexual flourishing, especially since pornography use, perpetrating harm to women is rampant. Despite undeniable progress as we discover the mental loads women and men carry in the 20th and 21st centuries, misogyny and misandry are still alive in culture, often in ways more subtle and

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20:31

What Each Instinct Fears Most (And How to Break Through)

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/01/21

Week 3 of our January instincts series reveals the hidden fears that block intimacy for SP, SO, and SX types. Why does your SP partner hoard resources? Why does your SO spouse need constant social validation? Why does your SX partner panic when you're emotionally distant? Understanding these core fears changes everything - plus, discover how to rebuild weakened instincts instead of watching them decline. Watch here on YouTube!The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course

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53:53

The Marriage Habit with Marriage 365 Founders Casey...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/01/19

Casey and Meygan Caston, creators of the Marriage365 platform that reaches millions each week, join us as authors of the brand new book, The Marriage Habit (recommended by Dr. Gary Chapman and many others, including Christa right here)! Join us for a riveting and inspiring conversation about the ten non-negotiable habits that successful couples use to maintain and repair their relationships. After fifteen years of helping couples and working through their own deep hurt, Casey and Meygan have gained

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13:44

When Opposites Attract: Different Instinct Stacks in...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/01/14

Now that you know more about the Enneagram instincts and desires, and you've heard that they're even MORE important than your types, what's one way you can build a bridge in an opposites attract pairing? Today we explore exactly that - what happens when different dominant instincts collide in marriage and what can you do. What happens when Security-focused (SP) marries Intensity-focused (SX)? Or when Social-focused (SO) pairs with Security-focused (SP)? I break down all 6 possible combinations with

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43:47

How to Not Let Your Phone Steal Your Year Together...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/01/12

As we shift into this new year with intention, best-selling author and influencer Hannah Brencher, Type 4, author of The Unplugged Hours: Cultivating a Life of Presence in a Digitally Connected World, joins us for a conversation about building healthy tech habits in marriage and family life. Featured in O, The Oprah Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, and more with a reach of 200K+, Hannah brings beautiful creative ways to unplug that cover all three instincts: self-preservation (creating time for

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18:38

Rebuilding Desire from Dating Days to Real Marriage Now

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/01/07

After Monday’s incredible conversation with Russ Hudson, we’re diving into our January theme: Instincts & Intimacy. Today’s episode reveals how your dominant instinct (Self-Preservation, Social, or Sexual) often shows up differently when dating versus being married. We talk through not only how those differences may look, but how you can still try to find the healthiest and most achievable desires you're missing from those early honeymoon days. Break down each instinct’s dating “performance” versus

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62:49

The Three Instincts Clarified w/Master Enneagram...

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2026/01/05

In our biggest kick-off of a new year yet, we introduce our listeners today to Russ Hudson, co-founder of The Enneagram Institute, best-selling author, and one of the world's most respected Enneagram teachers for over 30 years! Russ joins us for an hour-long, jam-packed conversation clarifying the three instincts: self-preservation, social, and sexual. This isn't surface-level learning, so get ready to transform with us while Russ explains what the instincts actually are at their core and why

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41:03

All 45 Enneagram Couple Pairings (Part 3 of 3)

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2025/12/31

Happy New Year! We're completing our comprehensive series with the final 15 pairings - all combinations with Types 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. Today explores how Head types (5-6-7) navigate their safety strategies in relationships, plus the powerful dynamics of Body types 8 and 9. From the double-withdrawal of 5+5 couples who risk becoming roommates, to the explosive intensity of 8+8 pairs, to the conflict-avoidant 9+9 dynamic that looks perfect until it isn't - each pairing gets practical insights and

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42:23

All 45 Enneagram Couple Pairings (Part 2 of 3)

Enneagram and Marriage ·

2025/12/29

Happy holidays from the E+M family! In Part 2 of our comprehensive series, we’re covering more Enneagram types! (2+8 through 4+9)! From the 2’s emotional giving, to the 3’s achievement drive, to the 4’s search for authentic connection, we're learning about what happens when double Heart types unite (hello, intensity!) and how they dance with Body and Head types as well. Each pairing includes real marriage examples and breakthrough insights you can apply immediately. Plus, get ready for an Instincts

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