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PODCAST

Total Playtime

Total Playtime is the official podcast of Jank.cool and is a conversation about videogames, mostly, by games industry veterans Alice Bell, Nate Crowley, Brendy Caldwell and Jon Hicks. Join them for discussion of the latest and most interesting PC and indie games, grumbles about the state of games media, and impromptu quizzes dredged from the unknowable depths of Nate"s brain. Public episodes are released every two weeks, and if you subscribe to Jank you"ll get weekly episodes. Send us questions,

leisure video games

All Episodes

58:00

Episode 44: Delivered in the Tone of Igor

Total Playtime ·

2026/10/03

Total Playtime is the official Jank podcast, funded entirely by our paying subscribers (and formerly our backers on Patreon). This week’s episode is free, but subscribers get additional episodes every other week. You may join them by subscribing here, and you can find all previous episodes here. Alice and Nate are away this week, possibly because we're talking about layoffs again, chiefly those at Microsoft again. Still, this does spare us from having to tell Nate live on air that an

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57:12

Episode 43: Question-mark Interrobang?‽

Total Playtime ·

2026/09/17

Alice is away this week, so three grown men get to sit around and puzzle over a particularly baffling week of news items and become steadily less certain that we were describing reality. There were some positives: Nate got to let a year’s worth of Hearthstone annoyance off his chest, Brendy got to drop an unexpected Halo deep cut, and I got to talk about a nice cat that I met. All solid therapeutic behaviours. Plus: subscribing to Accomplished Shootsman Magazine, earning money for being

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61:22

Episode 42: Subpoena the Teenage Snitch

Total Playtime ·

2026/09/03

Total Playtime is the official Jank podcast, funded entirely by our paying subscribers (and formerly our backers on Patreon). This week’s episode is free, but subscribers get additional episodes every other week. You may join them by subscribing here, and you can find all previous episodes here. For the first time in a while all four of us could make this recording, and it's a free-to-all news episode to boot. This meant we had to address the twin issues of Gamescom and an abundance of

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53:11

Episode 41: The Hubris Era

Total Playtime ·

2026/08/21

Total Playtime is the official Jank podcast, funded entirely by our paying subscribers (and formerly our backers on Patreon). This week’s episode is free, but subscribers get additional episodes every other week. You may join them by subscribing here, and you can find all previous episodes here. Alice and Nate were both unavailable this week, prompting Brendy and I to realise the crushing shortage of local whimsy in our lives. Our daily existence is simply devoid of rural oddities or

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48:33

Episode 40: The Coriander Of Space Marines

Total Playtime ·

2026/08/06

It’s a free-to-all episode this week, so Alice, Nate and myself turned ourselves to the major issues of the day: Xboxes are really expensive, how a Skyrim username error can get you wrongly imprisoned for soliciting minors, a new Thimbleweed Park and a very detailed explanation of how good the Space Marine x Helldivers 2 partnership is. Join us for a detailed overview of the Astra Militarum, a half-remembered summary of the Xbox P&L and a fleeting cameo from Alice’s dog. Plus: children

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67:27

Episode 39: Suck Off Frankenstein

Total Playtime ·

2026/07/24

This week it’s a free episode available to all, in which our four hosts gather to judge the news of the week - chiefly, Bethesda’s smoke-bomb declaration of Fallout 5 in an effort to distract from laying off a number of people who would have made it; Sony’s abandonment of discs as a storage medium and EA’s correct prediction of the World Cup final. If that all sounds a little dull, don’t worry, Nate naturally and effortlessly channeled it into pornographic takes of classic Gothic novels

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63:39

Episode 38: Call the Waspman

Total Playtime ·

2026/07/09

Total Playtime is now the official Jank podcast, and is produced through the munificence of our paying subscribers (and formerly our backers on Patreon). This week’s episode is free, but subscribers get additional episodes every other week. You may join them by subscribing here, and you can find all previous episodes here. This week we started recording mere hours after Xbox started firing people, so we didn’t have the full despair reserves to draw on but we managed to discuss it anyway. We

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75:18

Episode 37: Mr Beast's Beef Lumps

Total Playtime ·

2026/06/25

Total Playtime is a weekly podcast about PC games, formerly funded by Patreon and now part of Jank. This is a free episode, but premium episodes are published every two weeks and are only available to paying subscribers. You can join them over here.The prodigal dad returns! Yes, Brendy finally got enough sleep to return to podcasting with his newly minted As A Father Of A Daughter viewpoint, meaning that we are now tied in a dead heat between parents and what I’ll generously call “free

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49:01

Episode 36: The Devil Is Always Sexy

Total Playtime ·

2026/06/14

This week's episode is late, for which we apologise and blame Geoff Keighley because let's face it, he's the one pulling all the strings these days. Jonty was still sat in meeting rooms in LA when this episode was recorded and Brendy is still doing dad things, so it fell to Alice and Nate to judge the output of a week's worth of game showcases despite really wanting to just talk about their dogs instead.Thankfully they were both able to struggle through in the face of, once again, entirely

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48:31

Episode 34: The Hot Ones

Total Playtime ·

2026/05/28

This week Alice and I gathered in hot rooms to have hot takes on the main news stories of the week, chiefly the end of Destiny (and perhaps the employment of many of its developers) and the start of the Disco Elysium sequels. We also attempted to understand the Warhammer Skulls Showcase without Nate to guide us, which didn't get very far but we are quite taken with playing as Skaven.We've also been playing some games, reading some books, and watching daft videos on the internet, all of

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1:01:40

Re-Run: Let's Fix This With Product Placement

Total Playtime ·

2026/05/15

I regret to say that we were unable to record a regular news episode this week. Everybody was away or ill or both, with the exception of Brendy who is a new parent and thus is going to be preoccupied, exhausted and/or covered in body excretions for the forseeable future.To tide our regular listeners over, we are resurrecting a former Patreon-exclusive episode: Episode Q, which previously aired in October 2025. In it, Alice and I are once again bedeviled by Games Satan, and compelled to save a series

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49:52

Episode 34: Five or Six ETs Could Tear Joe Rogan Apart

Total Playtime ·

2026/05/01

It’s an emergency episode this week: both Alice and Brendy were away, so I had to dial in from Vegas to assist Nate in judgement of the main news events. This lead to some sub-optimal audio and a diminished runtime, for which I can only beg your forgiveness. Other errors include misrepresenting how mobile game advertising works and incorrectly saying that Frank Oz puppeteered ET, when in fact ET was played by three different actors. Just a shining example of what happens without Alice there to

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1:13:48

Episode 33: Wee Butt Mode

Total Playtime ·

2026/04/16

In a rare treat this week’s episode is not talking about layoffs, but I contrived to introduce them as additional context for Pete Hines being savagely critical of what happened to Bethesda, so the narrative thread is maintained. Otherwise this is quite a good-natured look at the latest PC gaming happenings, including what turned out to be some extremely inaccurate guesses at what hackers had stolen from Rockstar, and what will doubtless prove to be extremely inaccurate guesses at what’s in Epic’s

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59:07

Episode 32: Mr Beast Big Naturals

Total Playtime ·

2026/04/03

This week we have fun (for a given value of fun) discussing Epic's mass layoffs, Sony's dynamic price testing, and the difficulty in reviewing Crimson Desert, maybe. One of these results on an extended discussion of the world's favourite glassy-eyed YouTuber. Please note, Jimmy, that the title is a lighthearted joke; I beg, do not turn your eye of Sauron upon us.Plus! Brendy gets unaccountably upset at us for saying things about mining but in a way that sort of implies we find mining sexually

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1:00:05

Episode 31: Stoatal Playtime; Our DLSS 5 Is ON

Total Playtime ·

2026/03/19

This week we bring you an accidentally AI-themed extravaganza, as Krafton lost their Unknown Worlds/Subnautica 2 lawsuit for the funniest reason possible: they asked ChatGPT what to do. But just before that, Nvidia unveiled their new Super Sampling and its more like Super SLOP, am I right? Many came out to mock the TikTok-beauty-filterfication of Grace from Resi Requiem. And just before that, Jeff Kaplan, formerly Jeff from the Overwatch team (he's always the Queen from the Overwatch team of our

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1:01:06

Episode 30: The Phil Spencer Xbox Explosion

Total Playtime ·

2026/03/05

It’s a quiet one this week, as Alice is away doing mysterious things and Nate is away on a secret mission which you’ll have to hear about in two weeks’ time. It thus falls to Jonty and Brendy to ruminate on Xbox without Phil Spencer, games journalism without humans, and deciding which Pokémon starter would be the best restaurant starter.You can listen to the episode right here, or find it in your podcasting app of choice:iTunes:

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1:08:04

Episode 29: Extremely Online Beef People

Total Playtime ·

2026/02/19

This week it's a conspiracy theory special, as Alice develops increasingly outlandish theories about the forces and decisions that shape the games industry, the pharmaceutical industy and the world, and Jonty and Brendy try and talk her down. Plus, layoffs again, pondering the ideological opposite of Rivers Cuomo, why the AI era is dumb and stupid, and a truly inspired Alien: Isolation mod idea.You can download the podcast right here, or find it in your podcasting apps:iTunes:

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1:03:43

Episode 28: Bugpunk

Total Playtime ·

2026/02/05

It was claimed that Sydney Sweeney was excited about the Split Fiction movie, and that’s an excuse for Alice to be absolutely livid about the Split Fiction game, so please strap in for ten uninterrupted minutes of her choking on her own bile. After that, we manage to find time to discuss the nature of Morrowind, people choosing not to go to GDC, Highguard’s doomed pact with Geoff Keighley, the most Alan Partridge thing Alice has ever said, and more.You can download the podcast right here, or find it

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1:33:45

FREE TO ALL: Text Adventure: Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell

Total Playtime ·

2026/02/03

This episode was previously exclusive to our Patreon backers, but we're making it available to everybody to show what you're missing behind the paywall. You can get access to more Text Adventure plus a year of other subscriber episodes, at patreon.com/TotalPlaytimePodcast.Text Adventure is our videogame book club, in which we and a guest read a videogame novelisation and try very hard to like it. In this episode we are joined by Johnny Chiodini to read Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell, which turns out to

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1:04:22

Episode 27: The Legendary Milk Egg

Total Playtime ·

2026/01/22

It's a heady intersection of belief systems this week, as we combine Alice's insomniac enthusiasm for weird Instagram crystal sales with Nate's rigorous interrogation of Tim Cain's Types Of Quests. Plus: a horny dog, a nightmarish Pikachu, the Roman god of webinars and Games Anubis joins our increasingly incoherent pantheon.You can listen to the episode right here, or find it in your podcasting

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