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PODCAST

Can You Don"t?

Joe Paisley and Bryan Albrandt

Can You Don"t? is a weekly, comedic podcast where Joe Paisley and Bryan Albrandt delve into the depths of the Internet in order to retrieve the best and worst examples of humanity, while openly mocking themselves along the way for being complete idiots.

comedy improv

All Episodes

01:37:42

Can You Don't? | Vegas Hooker. Spaghetti. Poisonous....

Can You Don"t? ·

2026/03/25

Some sad news to share on the show today but... everything will be ok. Let's talk about that, Bryan continues to be fucking awful at math, when does spaghetti become spaghetti and not just tomato noodles, ice cubes made from piss in the house you're staying at, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It

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01:20:09

Can You Don't? | Daddy Bath. Camel Lips. Celibate....

Can You Don"t? ·

2026/03/18

I didn't think I could ever give botox or implants to a camel... until I learned it could be worth MILLIONS OF DOLLARS?! Let's talk about that, yanking ponytails for funzzies, waiting your whole life for some free oysters with your dad, are weather apps getting paid to put up questionable forecasts, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the

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01:25:51

Can You Don't? | Tap Shoes. Chemo Cake. Mop Water....

Can You Don"t? ·

2026/03/11

Quick question for the ladies. Would you bang Mr. Clean? Yes, the cleaning company mascot. Let's talk about that, Bryan rewriting his entire would you rather on the fly, how does one go about getting their dog to stop licking frogs in the yard, another big life change to update everyone on, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest

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01:18:49

Can You Don't? | Press 2. Seagull. Concussion. Nice...

Can You Don"t? ·

2026/03/04

You all know that Bryan went to Mexico for his annual family vacation... but did you know he was in the exact location that all that shit went down with the cartel and he was stuck there for an additional week?! Let's talk about that, why drinking cleaning supplies is never a good idea, the only time that knowing how to give CPR to a seagull was helpful, how much should a happy-ending cost, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the

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01:10:36

Can You Don't? | Moon Vacation. Sleeping Calf....

Can You Don"t? ·

2026/02/25

Although not legal in the slightest, breaking into your place of employment after hours to make and sell pizza for a little extra coin isn't a completely terrible idea. Let's talk about that, why are so many people shoving old munition up their b-holes, how many household items are there on the planet, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is

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01:19:59

Can You Don't? | Breakfast Blackout. Gooning. Sexy...

Can You Don"t? ·

2026/02/18

Do you know what gooning is? Yeah you do... you little slut. *bites lip* Let's talk about that, how sexy birds can be with a human ass, another murderous elephant rampage, soliciting a prostitute while driving a school bus, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to

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01:32:44

Can You Don't? | Ankle Monitor. Lactic Acid. Manatee....

Can You Don"t? ·

2026/02/11

Can you even imagine how good it would feel to get released from a prison, get your shit together, then end up BUYING THE SAME PRISON YOU WERE KEPT IN?! Let's talk about that, trying to fool the cops by putting your ankle monitor on your dog, why do all women leave giant balls of hair in the shower, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the

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01:18:30

Can You Don't? | Watermelon. Barefoot. Puke Purse....

Can You Don"t? ·

2026/02/04

Have you ever been in a situation that required you to tackle an old man in order to retrieve a license plate to avoid going to jail? Us either. Let's talk about that, government drones spying on Bryan, how heavy is a standard watermelon, how accidentally killing a puppy resulted in somehow feeling ok about making your dad cry, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our

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01:30:23

Can You Don't? | Body Box. Snoring. Backwards Satan....

Can You Don"t? ·

2026/01/28

Have you ever wondered what a snoring hummingbird sounds like? No? Well, I bet you are now! Let's talk about that, how common actually still being alive is when doctors go to harvest your parts, some wild music conspiracies that have made their way to Uncle Zaq's lap, bailing out on the stripclub because you decided to go to an adult porn store beforehand, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each

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01:25:00

Can You Don't? | Leaf Rewards. Pants Button. S'more....

Can You Don"t? ·

2026/01/21

*Jason (495651) in prison, we read your letter!*Why does every piece of tech these days feel like they NEED to have some sort of reward system?! Let's talk about that, looking forward to going on vacation so much that you ignore the fact your wife just died, trying to bite your way through a tree trunk, stuffing marbles up your dick hole, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons

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01:21:36

Can You Don't? | Witness Birth. Frog Cop. Wax Joint....

Can You Don"t? ·

2026/01/14

Call us old fashioned, but the words "good father" don't usually belong in the same sentence as "threw an infant across the room into the bed frame." Let's talk about that, when a change in plans goes from thinking you're about to do something awesome to re-painting your house, wiping up tears using a foil hotdog wrapper, losing your virginity with the help of a wax joint, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the

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01:37:17

Can You Don't? | Boner. WNBA. Face Shot. Keys in Door.

Can You Don"t? ·

2026/01/07

We all get a little annoyed when guests overstay their welcome for one reason or another. Now, imagine if you had someone over and they didn't leave for 45 years! Let's talk about that, why are WNBA games included in our WYR about breaking bones or watching people die, another glorious Pornhub year in review, learning that dudes also have a pelvic floor they should be strengthening, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra

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01:25:51

Can You Don't? | New Cat. Two Pencils. Lobster. Taco...

Can You Don"t? ·

2025/12/31

We can understand stealing expensive things like diamonds, watches, jewelry... but a ton of lobster?! Let's talk about that, wrapping your kid up and hanging them on a hook, why we don't deserve dogs, shoving weird stuff up your b-hole, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to

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01:16:04

Can You Don't? | Arial Depression. Chocolate Tube....

Can You Don"t? ·

2025/12/24

For the most part, going to church is a pretty chill experience. And most definitely not high up on the list of places you'd expect to get kicked in the face by a camel. Let's talk about that, having a serious conversation with someone while wearing a wildly inappropriate shirt, barfing up chunks of ham onto a dong you're blowing, doing your best Elvis impersonation in the back of an ambulance, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the

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01:19:28

Can You Don't? | Skunk Shin. Saxophone. Seasons....

Can You Don"t? ·

2025/12/17

Every time I go to upload the episode this week, I get an error. So I'm sick of rewriting a witty episode description. If this ends up being what you see... it worked. Fuck this shit.*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast *** New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm

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01:16:29

Can You Don't? | Peacocks. Sheep Spit. Skynet. Tell...

Can You Don"t? ·

2025/12/10

When you have a late-night hunger craving, sometimes it's hard to suppress it. But if that craving ends up causing a felony level of damage in order to satisfy... maybe ignore it. Let's talk about that, having to deal with your partner using their phone while watching a movie then they ask you to pause the movie so you can catch them up, of course there's a sheep shit spitting contest out there, eating your own pet birds in order to prove a point, and more on today's episode of Can You

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01:31:56

Can You Don't? | Drunk Raccoon. Tow Truck. Weight....

Can You Don"t? ·

2025/12/03

AI has the power to do a lot of good for the planet... but doesn't it feel like we can all agree that implementing AI into kid toys at this stage in its development is a bad idea? Let's talk about that, eating too many stuffed mushrooms while recording, a special moment with your kid turns into a fight, your dead body being towed around town for half a month because humans simple don't care enough about anything, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle

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01:12:40

Can You Don't? | Needle Nose. Cone Killer. Babydust....

Can You Don"t? ·

2025/11/26

We have all been in intense arguments over something stupid. However, those arguments don't usually end in gunfire over how many eggs a chicken can lay. Let's talk about that, heading over to Facebook groups to find sperm donors, vivid memories of kaleidoscopes but no one actually likes them, almost dying while replacing an outlet, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our

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01:38:10

Can You Don't? | Sticky. Wiggle Chair. Tacoma Santa....

Can You Don"t? ·

2025/11/19

LALALALALALALALA! Whatever. DOOOOOOOOOOON'T CAAAAAAAAAARE!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast *** New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PST Watch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/tY0Q8Zaz7c0 Send in segment

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01:33:25

Can You Don't? | Snowball. Pointers. Mamba. Gorilla...

Can You Don"t? ·

2025/11/12

Advertising has always been a little out of control, but making people watch ads in order to wipe their ass might be just a bit over the line. Let's talk about that, redundant things we all say like stupid idiots, sticking your arm under the lap bar of a rollercoaster to keep a stranger from flying out, pouring coffee all over yourself... again, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons

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